The Campaign Builder's Guild

I've edited this thread to be the discussion thread and created a new thread so I can keep the information together better.

The new thread is located here (http://www.thecbg.org/e107_plugins/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?25088.last).

races moved to main setting thread

Ooooh.

I like the creation myth. Good stuff. So... is all that fact, or myth, or somewhere in between?

Somewhere inbetween really. It would be like Greek mythology where some things where in fact true but a lot if how a people as a society view and explain things that they don't know how to explain in normal terms or explanations.

I like what I see so far. I'd like to see more on the cultures of humans, dwarves, and elves, and I'd also like to see how Aberrations, Outsiders, and Undead exist in this world. Keep it coming!

Well, it is a work in progress to be sure. History from an elven prospective is up. I hope to have the society breakdown out soonish

I particularly like the intro. It outlines a clear core ethos that immediately defines the setting's character, and establishes that this is going to be more than just a random collection of "cool" but disparate elements.

When I have more time, I'll have to check back in on this setting and give it a more thurough read, because it looks as though it has potential.

Wow.

I love the creation myth.  You successfully used a sun/moon duality, continued to sue stereotypical themes for both, and yet the whole thing seems fresh and entertaining.  I especially love Illius the betrayer, his tragic story is brilliant...  Just wow...

Anyway, good stuff and keep up the writing.

I think Night is even more tragic.  A creature who desperately wants to create joy and beauty, but who is given power over neither.

Thank you for all the comments. This setting is probably my 3rd or 4th try to get a truely good setting going and I have to admit that it is very fun to write.

I'm sorry if I don't have much to say, but I'm very impressed that you seemed to have decided to begin your world with a story. As a student of mythology, I have recently decided to do the same; detail my world though the story of its heroes (which really works in the context of a colaborative RPG since the players could have been those heroes).

I read your first post, and I will come back and read the races. One question though; you mentioned the Orcs and seemed to have tied them to the Moon. I like this, but I'm currious; how did the moon make them if he cannot make life?

A good question. The race of Orcs really began with Illius after the deception of Braun. The Moon could not create but he did gift Illius with powers to rule of the land effectively. With these powers Illius created the Orcs through corrupted life magic from the offspring of humans and elves. Dwarven offspring always died from this manipulation due to their role as priest to the Sun. So in essence, it is the alteration of life that already is there. Eventually, these altered offspring were able to create and sustain a race on their own which eventually became known as Orcs (this process having taken nearly a thousand years to complete).

That makes sense then. Is this going to be an explanation for Orcs' darkvision and their light sensitivity?

Correct though I didn't originally intend for it to be that way, it just sort of worked out that way which amuses me :)

another small update. Elven Caste Social Structure added. Next - Dwarves!

This is a really neat idea.  I love the mythos and history.  I can't help but note the significance of the name Loth.  Is this a connection to Lolth, the Spider Queen, goddess of the drow?  You never said what happened to Loth after she took exile to mourn the death of Lissa (or if you did I missed it).  Could she have gone undergroung to found the Drow race?  Does her grieving leave her embitterred, leading her towards evil, resentment and desire for revenge?

Quote from: Seraphine_HarmoniumThis is a really neat idea.  I love the mythos and history.  I can't help but note the significance of the name Loth.  Is this a connection to Lolth, the Spider Queen, goddess of the drow?  You never said what happened to Loth after she took exile to mourn the death of Lissa (or if you did I missed it).  Could she have gone undergroung to found the Drow race?  Does her grieving leave her embitterred, leading her towards evil, resentment and desire for revenge?

That is the idea behind what happens to Loth after the death of Lissa though I haven't written that portion of the history, only a general outline.

Sadly I haven't been able to work much on the setting in the past few weeks. Wife is pregnant and we are going to find out if it is a boy or girl this week so...yeah, preoccupied with other things.

Congratulations!  There should be no sadness surrounding the birth of a child, even if that sadness is not actually about the child.  Perhaps a campaign world tribute to the babe is in order?  That would be neat.

Thank you and we found out this morning that we are having a boy! So excited! I think a tribute would be a great idea. Creation of a world along with the creation of my child. Hmmmmmm

Ug, way to long since an update. I have some new stuff I will be putting up. First is a map of the region (which is in post #1).

Nice map, maybe not as pretty as others, but it serves it's purpose admirably.

In other news, is there anything specific you would like my thoughts on?  Any issues you need particular help with?

Once I get the main write-ups on the different ages I would love feedback on their content (i.e. what needs better explanation, is it consistent, etc)

As an update, the timeline has been added to the first post.

How do nocturnal creatures fit into the mythos of this world? Presumably, they were created by the Sun. Is there any myth explaining why they choose to sleep while it is in the sky?

Most certainly. After Illius rose to power, Loth left the Council of the Divine Races and went out into the world were she is noted for having created many creatures to keep her company. Because of her decent into anger and misery, she grew to prefer the darkness as the light of the Sun brought back too many memories to her of her lost child. The creatures with her also slept during the day so that they could be active during the night with the first sorceress. This foundation led to the current natural creatures that prefer the night (like owls and such).

Very neat stuff.

What does the Iso'- prefix mean when it's in front of a city name?

Iso is a term that came into common use at the beginning of the Age of Sorrows. It started as an honorary title for magi who have served with distinction during the Age of Heroes under Latarin. It has since grown to be an identifer for magi in general so instead of saying I'm Jack the Mage, he would say Iso'Jack.

In addition, several cities within the Nation of Latarin to have the prefex added to the city name. This signifies that their is a major arcane school located in that city.

Ah. That makes my linguistic voices happy.

Revised the timeline (age of heroes) due to revisions in history.

Added rough draft of Age of Heroes written history.

Added the Cushani race to post #2

It's high time I took a detailed look at this setting.

Intro
Very compelling.  I particularly like the "Can you fight the darkness?" line.  Very direct, and generally impossible, so it lends a kind of tragic desperation.  You mean to say, I believe:

Quotethe players are faced with a choice of fighting against the darkness or furthering spread

Creation Myth[/b]
Speaking of which, I don't believe there is such a thing as an "intercity carved rune" (I'm terrible with typos, too).  However, good use of a frame story for your story.

I like the twin dragons, Spring and Summer.  Good duality between Night and Sun, though it might sound more appropriate the use Night/Day.

How does Night imprison the mother?  Your opening lines led me to believe the mother was the earth, as with Kishar...Are we to take it she rather is a physical being on the planet?

QuoteWith the shadows of the living cast, the Night devised a plan to create his own progeny. From the shadows of the living, Night harnessed their own power and created his own children, shadows twins of the dragons, which he named Autumn and Winter.

No mortal had been slain by another out of cruelty before and the earth shook as Ilius took the newborn child back to the beach, back to the Lord of Night.[/quote]Timeline[/b]
Every setting should have one of these.  What do the abbreviations stand for?  That is, "bi" and "ab" - it seems like we are talking BCE and CE, but I'm curious what they represent. (is it before Ilius?)

But wait, the Night Reign ended 2000 years ago?  I assume you intended to explain why the setting is called this later?  It sounds from the intro like it has just begun...Has it just started again?

Nicely detailed Age of Heroes.  Do you plan to write up the remaining ages in detail, as well?

Map
Very nice.  There's so many names it's overwhelming, but I think were I familiar with the setting, that would be very helpful.

So we are clear, Falamor is the name of the world?  The continent?  An empire?

Races
You've got a nice, condensed trinity of three races.  Do you believe the hybrids add anything in particular to the setting?  I'm not saying you should drop them, but I am curious if you had some specific intent in including them.

I'd change Loth's name unless you want to reference Lloth.  They are so similar, one cannot help but be mentally drawn to it. (I see you address this later, so nevermind).

A caste structure has an exotic feel to it; yours fits very well.  I like it.

Interesting take on dwarves as spreading love and cheer...That's different.  Also interesting that they are messengers of the Sun, since mythical dwarves avoided sunlight (in some stories it turned them to stone).

Cushani: A servant race, that's cool.  It allows you diversity without breaking the idea of a trinity.  I don't know if you intend it to be a PC race, but I'd say it is not properly balanced with other PC races without adding a LA.

I see you already answered the question about orcs.

Overall
On a side note, a setting like this seems like it should really play up vampires, shadows, werewolves, and other nightstalkers.

As to the setting itself, you've got some strong ideas.  I know you call it a work in progress, but it is still quite interesting.  I hope to see more, as your time allows.

Oh, and congrats on the child!

Quote from: Phoenix KnightIt's high time I took a detailed look at this setting.

Intro
Very compelling.  I particularly like the "Can you fight the darkness?" line.  Very direct, and generally impossible, so it lends a kind of tragic desperation.  You mean to say, I believe:

Quotethe players are faced with a choice of fighting against the darkness or furthering spread

Thanks for taking the time to do a detailed review. I'll try and answer as best as I can...and fix typos cause lord knows am bad about those.

QuoteCreation Myth
Speaking of which, I don't believe there is such a thing as an "intercity carved rune" (I'm terrible with typos, too).  However, good use of a frame story for your story.

Intricately.[/b] Like I said...

QuoteI like the twin dragons, Spring and Summer.  Good duality between Night and Sun, though it might sound more appropriate the use Night/Day.

How does Night imprison the mother?  Your opening lines led me to believe the mother was the earth, as with Kishar...Are we to take it she rather is a physical being on the planet?

QuoteWith the shadows of the living cast, the Night devised a plan to create his own progeny. From the shadows of the living, Night harnessed their own power and created his own children, shadows twins of the dragons, which he named Autumn and Winter.

The Mother is the goddess of all things and is symbolized by the earth/planet itself. As for her imprisonment by the Moon, he went to her as she slept and crafted a crystal prison of earth around her as she slept, crafting it in such a way with shadow to have her believe that it was always night and thus, always time for her to be sleeping.

As for Autumn and Winter. I love them as they are so fun to write. As a note, in an upcoming revision they will be called the Wyrms of Autumn and Winter (as well as Spring and Summer) to lessen the confusion between normal dragons and these demi-gods.

QuoteI agree with SA, Night is brilliantly tragic character.  As any good villain should be (I don't know he's a villain, but the intro makes it sound like it; I'm writing as I read).

QuoteNo mortal had been slain by another out of cruelty before and the earth shook as Ilius took the newborn child back to the beach, back to the Lord of Night.

I agree and was certainly one of the most fun parts to develop

QuoteTimeline
Every setting should have one of these.  What do the abbreviations stand for?  That is, "bi" and "ab" - it seems like we are talking BCE and CE, but I'm curious what they represent. (is it before Ilius?)

But wait, the Night Reign ended 2000 years ago?  I assume you intended to explain why the setting is called this later?  It sounds from the intro like it has just begun...Has it just started again?

Nicely detailed Age of Heroes.  Do you plan to write up the remaining ages in detail, as well?[/quote]Map
Very nice.  There's so many names it's overwhelming, but I think were I familiar with the setting, that would be very helpful.

So we are clear, Falamor is the name of the world?  The continent?  An empire?[/quote]Races
You've got a nice, condensed trinity of three races.  Do you believe the hybrids add anything in particular to the setting?  I'm not saying you should drop them, but I am curious if you had some specific intent in including them.[/quote]I'd change Loth's name unless you want to reference Lloth.  They are so similar, one cannot help but be mentally drawn to it. (I see you address this later, so nevermind).[/quote]Interesting take on dwarves as spreading love and cheer...That's different.  Also interesting that they are messengers of the Sun, since mythical dwarves avoided sunlight (in some stories it turned them to stone).[/quote]Cushani: A servant race, that's cool.  It allows you diversity without breaking the idea of a trinity.  I don't know if you intend it to be a PC race, but I'd say it is not properly balanced with other PC races without adding a LA.[/quote]Overall
On a side note, a setting like this seems like it should really play up vampires, shadows, werewolves, and other nightstalkers.[/quote]As to the setting itself, you've got some strong ideas.  I know you call it a work in progress, but it is still quite interesting.  I hope to see more, as your time allows.[/quote]Oh, and congrats on the child![/quote]
Thanks! Little Hazard Stephen will be coming around March 19.

History has been updated and was so long it had to be broken into two posts. The history covers Age of Creation, Night, Heroes and Sorrows. This is the semi-official history till I find that it needs more tweeking. Enjoy!

Okay, unless you've made major changes to the Creation Myth or Age of Night, I've read that.  So now I'll tackle the Age of Heroes.

The controversy over the body of Ilius:
Interesting, with nice detail.  Were the humans afraid of angering the moon because the still respected its power?  Why don't the elves and half the dwarves?

QuoteDuring the period of discussion and indecision
<snip>
the Wyrm of Winter deceived Ikar into believing that the only course left was to kill his brother so his vote would not count. Ikar finally agreed and during the middle of the night, Ikar murdered his brother.

Ikar then returned to the Council to state that Ikos had taken ill and would not join the Council.
<snip>

After the influence of the Wyrm of Winter over the council and the death of his highest priest, the Sun was enraged and punished the Wyrms of Winter and Autumn by banishing them to the land, making them living avatars as opposed to actual demigods. Afterwards, the Sun sent the Wyrms of Spring and Summer to the land to watch over the races, to preserve the peace and to stop the influence of the Moon and his children in the affairs of the mortal races.[/quote]These dragons deliberately skinned their metallic scales to show that they supported the cause and had shed the false ideals of Spring and Summer <snip>[/quote]The Watchers taught the Cushani the ways of divine magic by sharing a portion of their souls with the felines. This sharing linked the two races together and bred a new breed of Cushani that were as one with the dragons. These kindred souls paired together and became the first Dragon Riders.[/quote]The races of the world were once again in the hands of those who would take charge.[/quote]To do so, the two Shades captured Geladrine and sacrificed her to the Moon. Using her consecrated blood they fashioned a poison that was given to the Wyrm as he slept. The poison put him into a deep sleep and thus unable to stop the Shanâ,¬,,¢ree from conquering the area.[/quote]Falling to her knees over his body she cried out to the sun, cursing him for what had happened and to the moon for bringing evil into the world. She cursed herself for allowing it all to happen. She spoke the words of magic, weaving a curse upon herself so that she would relive her torments and sins till the end of her days. To cement the curse, she drank the blood of her fallen father. That act, seen by the moon, grew even more with the drinking of the blood than Aiyia had intended. With the power of Pelus in her veins, the son of the Wyrm of Springâ,¬,,¢s blood was too much for the sins that she carried and the curse was twisted so that she would carry her sins for an eternity, never able to die by natural means and never able to see the sun again. She was the first vampire.[/quote]
Another great origin of X story.  However, the sentence, "that act, seen by the moon, grew even more" is confusing.  Is it supposed to mean, "Under the moon's influence, Aiyia drank deeper than she planned."?

Okay, this was a an incredibly detailed and dense story (which is why I do not have time to do Age of Sorrows until I get back from my trip).  I commend your attention to detail.  One suggestion to make it easier to read, however, might be to break it down a little more.  Perhaps with some headings, break it into chapters, and so forth.  I appreciate a long history, and even the need for one, but it helps if you can tackle it in sections (smaller ones than the division you already have).

Keep up the good work!

Thank you for the reply and I'm glad you liked the Age of Heroes. To answer some questions:

Ages of Creation and Night: There are some more details added for better flow like what is the Breath, the difference between Wyrms and dragons and so on.

Interesting, with nice detail. Were the humans afraid of angering the moon because the still respected its power? Why don't the elves and half the dwarves?Correct, they may not like the Moon for what he had done but they still respect the fact that he is indeed a god.

Or are the warm dragons still demigods and thus not actually physical? The Wyrms of Spring and Summer take physical form while on the earth to better integrate themselves with the people. Hard for a demigod to help people along if the people won't even look at them (awe or fear).

Balisk's name sounds a lot like basilisk. Is this intentional? Unintentional

Aiyia and the Moon: Yeah, just badly worded there.

Thanks again for the read over.

Hmm, been awhile since I've posted anything. I've been away due to the birth of my son. Now that things have settled, I should have a chance to post more stuff on Night Reign. I've been continually working and even have a playtest going now to try out the tech side of things and so far so good.

Congratulations to you!