The Campaign Builder's Guild

So, I'm trying to build up enough momentum to make an actual, full-fledged, sparkling new Broken Verge setting thread. *gasp*
To that end, I have been stuck forever writing that grandest of all setting elements: the introduction.
Now, I would have asked what people wanted in that, but I already (sort of) know the answers: "don't start with the creation story", "be careful not to make it a history lesson", "show what makes your setting special", etc.
I have fairly high standards for my writing (standards I'm entirely incapable of meeting), but I finally decided to say screw it and just wrote something. That something is found below.
This will be my "stuff that might go in the setting thread" thread. I have one already I think, but I wanted to start from a clean slate. Also, I think it's stuck somewhere in the archive.
Anyway, here goes, give me your preliminary thoughts. I think I just need to spar for a bit instead of working on it all by my lonesome.

The World
Found at a crossroad of cultures, faiths and empires, Besmakia is a land of contradictions if anything. Heavy with history and tradition it is nevertheless the setting for an age of upheaval and change, set in motion by the waningof far-away powers and a year of pestilence not yet forgotten.

Too far away to be ruled, yet too close to be left alone, Besmakia has been a center of exchange since forever surviving by virtue of its neighbours' mutual rivalry more than anything else. To most foreigners Besmakia remains a place of mystery, rarely mentioned nor referenced aside from in the tales of drunk sailors. To most, it is a frontier harboring hidden wonders and whispered promises of a better life.

And more than a few have followed these promises to the rugged shores over the years. The cities are populated by immigrants, pilgrims and exiles, with the true natives, the Marrowmen, now estranged from their own birthplace. Yet there is something tying all these people together, a pride in their new-found home, harsh as it might be.

Geography
Besmakia is a huge landmass situated at the southern end of a vast continent sometimes called Merrinter. The border separating north and south is difficult to place, but there is a palpable change; something both tangible and intangible separates one cardinal direction from the other; frontier from civilization.

Most agree, though, that the Black Garden Pass in the Verdigris Mountains is the traditional gateway to the frontier region, taking would-be travellers to the fledgling mendicant-city known as Redemption and a thousand other things.

Delineation by way of the waterways is a much easier task, with the Serpent's Strait taking sailors to both the Jorinter and the Marrow seas, waters claimed entirely or partially by Besmakian nation-states. The Jorinter is home to hundreds of island communities, some lawful some not, and is held back in the south-west by Manderbolge, the frozen continent of the farthest south populated by hopeful miners, pious whalers, and cannibal outriders.   

Besmakia itself has many faces, most of them both terrifying and beautiful. A landscape of extremes, with everything from soaring mountains to low-lying swamps and gnarled ur-forests.. Civilization is everywhere and yet nowhere, with cities far apart and scattered along the coast and the rivers. 

People
Besmakia has a history older than most think, but most was forgotten when the Cold Years forced the then-natives from their ancestral home. The marrowmen are suspected to be the ones who stayed behind or maybe they came in the wake of their exodus. Either way, the poet-savages are the closest Besmakia comes to true natives.

Yet the Lebothians - the Old Blood, the First Kings - claim to have as strong a tie to the land, tracing their families back to the first exodus or at the very least the first resettlements. More important still, they enforce this claim more strongly, continuing to wield considerable, if dwindling, power after more than a thousand years. All later arrivals were christened the New Bloods, to mark them as inferior even if they make up a majority in most parts of modern-day Besmakia.

Yet despite their varied origins, a distinct Besmakian culture has evolved over the years, a mixture of new thoughts and ancient traditions. Despite being somewhat of a backwater, Besmakians both new and old are proud of their heritage. 

The Ilk
Humans are by far the most populous in most parts of the world, but they are but one of the Ilk. The Yghreb are native to cold Manderbolge and several nomadic tribes wander the Besmakian wilds. Yet their way of life is slowly dying and they are trying to assimilate themselves into human society, in what appears almost like a cultural purge, leaving their heritage behind in favor of human guises and manners.
The blind Melhune first came to Besmakia as circus spectacles and were considered little more than monsters or animals for a long while. Now, they live in tunnel-ghettoes below the streets of cities, maintaining disreputable markets and peddling sculpture and music.
The Urmannanganal and the huskmen are rare, but both revered in  Besmakian culture. One is an auspicious omen and fabled storyteller while the other is deeply integrated into the politics and superstitions of Besmakia.

So happy to see BV return! As an introduction, it may be a little long, but the only queisitons/qualms I havee deal with the geograhpy, as I found it somewhat confusing (that being said, I've just woken up and am still waiting for my coffee...).

Oh, also, there doesn't seem to be much, if any, mention of magic in the introduction. Is the new BV a super-low magic setting or is that just something in the works. I'll try to keep up the comments, and therefore some of the momentum, the best I can!

I'm glad to see BV return as well! I don't have much to add that Leetz already didn't say, but I do want to add I'd love to see more of the Ilk, because they all sound awesome.

(Damn, I made a fairly long and articulate reply a few days ago on the subject of magic, but I must have forgotten to press "Post")

Broken Verge isn't low-magic no, but it has more strangeness than capital-M Magic. I'm trying to take the supernatural in a different direction. In BV there is no omni-present magical source and magic is inherently fickle, specific in nature, and limited in power and extent. There will be different branches of "magic", only vaguely connected under that umbrella term by the ideas that they are "more than natural".

Magic in Broken Verge doesn't make difficult things easier as much as it makes impossible things possible. As such its influence on the development of technology and society has hardly been noticeable. It has evolved in parallel, complementing science rather than dominating it. While a few types of preternatural mechanics and alchemy are known, magic is further crippled by the fact that it can't be mass-produced and shared; magic items are either non-existent or unique.

The central arcane tradition will be the reifiers, the Grammarian mages, who wield abstract notions as weapons and tools, but there will also be Muses, who can bring walls down with their voices, not-monks who excise themselves from reality, unlikely Happenmen and good old-fashioned Witchcraft.  

Broken Verge focuses on the south-eastern corner of the known world. We are talking far south, mind you, so the region is generally fairly cold (although the northern portions of my mental map probably live under central european climate conditions).
East of the region lies a vast and very inhospitable ocean, populated largely by corsairs. I'm toying with the idea of a mysterious "New World" beyond the sea, though. Aside from that it is fairly impassable and stormy and mostly avoided.
The region is composed of two (halves of) continents: Merrinter and Manderbolge. The lower part of Merrinter is called Besmakia and the two continental landmasses are separated by the Serpent's Strait which leads to a watery crossroads: south lies the Jorinter Sea which flows into the big eastern ocean in, you guessed it, the east and north lies the more sheltered partially-inland Marrow Sea which is bordered entirely by Besmakia - the mainland in the north and an isthmus-connected peninsula in the south.

So, that's basically a verbal description of the map I'm currently envisaging (and I pray to the turtles that it's the last). Of course, it would be much easier to explain if I just had a map to show you guys, but it will be a while before my cartography skills catch up with my thoughts.   

Quote from: Superfluous Crow
(Damn, I made a fairly long and articulate reply a few days ago on the subject of magic, but I must have forgotten to press "Post")

Broken Verge isn't low-magic no, but it has more strangeness than capital-M Magic. I'm trying to take the supernatural in a different direction. In BV there is no omni-present magical source and magic is inherently fickle, specific in nature, and limited in power and extent. There will be different branches of "magic", only vaguely connected under that umbrella term by the ideas that they are "more than natural".

Magic in Broken Verge doesn't make difficult things easier as much as it makes impossible things possible. As such its influence on the development of technology and society has hardly been noticeable. It has evolved in parallel, complementing science rather than dominating it. While a few types of preternatural mechanics and alchemy are known, magic is further crippled by the fact that it can't be mass-produced and shared; magic items are either non-existent or unique.

The central arcane tradition will be the reifiers, the Grammarian mages, who wield abstract notions as weapons and tools, but there will also be Muses, who can bring walls down with their voices, not-monks who excise themselves from reality, unlikely Happenmen and good old-fashioned Witchcraft.  

I like what I'm seeing. Have you looked into leylines and other kinds of magical energy grids? I think they would fit it in very good in BV.

I also like how you're avoiding the magic vs. technology cliche as well as your take on magic items. But what about the "small things" like potions, scrolls, perma-torches, shimmer-cloth waistcoats (or whatever) and stuff like that? More common or non-existant?

The Grammarian mages sound cool (but maybe another name? The Syllabic Vespers? Syllabary?) Once again, the Muses sound very cool - made me think of the tale of Jericho - but once again, I don't think that the name is quite there, I think Muse has too much , baggage. Euterpicurians? Euterpic-Chanters (both from the word "Euterpe", who was the Muse of music and song. Still baggage I know, but I think Euterpe is much less well-known than Muse is.

The non-monks sound awesome (and familiar.... :P)

Witchcraft sounds like it will fit in, or maybe lower-case "w" witchcraft could be a catch-all term for magic that is not part of the previoulsy mentioned "schools"? Witches (female) and warlocks/wizards (male) could be the catch-all name for practicers of magic that just dabble in a bunch of small, some-what insignificant, ecclectic magics - just nominal cantrips, charms, and enchantments.

What are the Happenmen? I can't say I really like the name, but then again, I don't know what they are, so it's hard to say.

I don't think I'm gonna go with magical grids, as that implies a universal source, but I guess I could implement it for one of the traditions like you did with Phaen at one point. I'm not too hooked on the idea though. 

I kinda like the sound of Grammarian; it has this mystical, bookish feel to it. Yet considering that it is a real thing I should probably make the name a bit more "fantastic".

I don't know if Muse has that much baggage necessarily? Yes, most know it is from greek mythology, and it can be used as a metaphor, but what do you associate them with aside from inspiration? Dunno, you might still be right that it could benefit from a name change. Chanter is probably a bit heavy-handed as their origin lies with singing rather than chanting (hmm, or does it? something to consider on my part).
Originally I thought of them as eugenically selected and bred humans, but recently it occured to me it would make much more sense for them to be Yghreb, who are adaptive shapechangers able to masquerade as humans. Under duress and breeding strategies they would more quickly produce the perfect singer (which is essentially what the Muse is). The drawback is that it makes the origin of the Muses much less visceral and poignant and that the perfect singers are gonna be molding backstage.
   
The Non-monks/athemancers were a cooperative creation and I am fairly confident that I am taking them in a different direction ^^

Witchcraft would probably be a (loose) tradition unto itself. Voodoo meets gypsy magic with lots of curses and superstition involved. Minor traditions will probably be just that - minor traditions. There will probably be lots more than listed here, these are just the major ones/the ones I have come up with so far. The reifiers and the muses (and the witchcraft practioners to some degree) are really the only ones who can muster any significant numbers.   

There should be a small post somewhere in the archives on the happenmen. They are part monks, part agents of the Setchic King, hand-selected based on horoscopes and auspicious births. They are subjected to fairly gruelling trials throughout their childhood, survivable mostly through sheer luck. This selection process, and their mystical training, allows them to bend probabilities. They are not necessarily lucky, but they are ... unlikely. Nexuses of coincidence. 

Ok, Happenmen make much more sense, but when I look at it, I see Happymen.

Otherwise, everything looks sweet so far. Hard to say too much without seeing everything in context. What are you thinking about for the next post?

Any suggestions? I was thinking of doing either a list of kingdoms or more on the Ilk, as per Xathan's suggestion.

I think something geographic would be good, especially if it involed giving some of the said magic some context.

I did try to give a bit more clear description of the geography in one of the above posts (just after the one on magic), but it adds few details and does not give the magic any context I am afraid.

Quote from: Superfluous Crow
I did try to give a bit more clear description of the geography in one of the above posts (just after the one on magic), but it adds few details and does not give the magic any context I am afraid.

No, I meant like a specific city or nation where one of the magic groups you wrote about is prevelant, so we have some context for your good ideas for magic.

A bit on the Ilk below. Nothing major, the two races featured here haven't changed much from previous incarnations. The Melhune have become a bit more urban and the biology of the Ygreb has changed a bit (and might change more).
Does anything strike you as off or just plain bad?

The Ilk
While humans are found across the known world, they are not alone. Other sapient creatures share earth, water, roofs and streets with mankind. It has come to be accepted that four other species are part of Society and collectively the species are known as the Ilk. They might not always be considered equals in a world where humans are often the majority, but their presence is undeniable and grudgingly accepted.

The Melhune look like monsters from a bedtime tale, but  their grotesque looks belie  a  cunning intellect not unlike that of man. Nocturnal and blind, they were victims of persecution and superstition for centuries, before they were grudgingly welcomed into the human cities. Physically, they are hg They take deep pleasure in everything they can feel, hear and taste and are famous for their alienly beautiful scuptures and their haunting music. Although some make their lives above ground, most live in tunnel ghettoes below the streets, where the sun never shines. Largely unregulated, they have become havens of vice and black market dealings.  
 

The Yghreb are the most recently accepted of the Ilk. They have lived in primitive hunter clans since the dawn of their simple society, but their ways are now threatened by the progress of industry and the incursion of man. So they do what they have always done: adapt. Due to their unique anatomy, the Yghreb adapt and evolve continuously, their bodies reacting to, and learning from, what they eat, what they experience and see, even who they live with and mate with. You can't possibly describe the Yghreb because their bodies are as different as the personalities of men. Yet there is a movement amongst them, trying to adapt to the cities. And in the cities survival is not about climbing, running, tracking or killing. It's about looking an acting human. About being human. Their survival depends on their own extinction and they won't hesitate to do what they have always done: adapt.

A few things to consider

• should I impose any limitations on the Yghreb? I want to remain true to the concept, but I don't want their mutations to get out of hand either
• I am in doubt about the background of the Melhune. I could make them part of the New World in the east, but that would mean A) they can't possibly have had much of a history in the Known World B) they would have to have a nautical culture, which is fairly impossible since they are blind. Teleportation is not an option and I don't want the "underdark" to extend below a world ocean.
• Should the Melhune have their own country of origin (probably off-the-map) or does that go too much against the tone which remains fairly humanocentric? They could just be mountain-dwellers, but I'd hate for all the races to have their origin in Besmakia without a proper explanation (the setting's primary region)

These are not full write-ups, but rather part of a primer.

I think you're missing a part about the appearance of the Melhune. Besides that, looks good.

As for your considerations:

-What do you mean by limitaions on the Yghreb? I'll be honest here too, I'm really not 100% clear on the Yghreb, what makes their anatomy so unique?

-You could always just keep the history of the Melhune a big, unknwon secret that they don't share. Or they could have had wider-spread realms long ago, that left pockets of Melhune scattered across BV. Adventuring in Melhune ruins could be extremely frightening and surreal.

Ah, maybe my quest for vaguely clever-sounding prose has had the side-effect of making the actual text indecipherable. Ehm, looking at it I am not sure what to do to clarify, but I can give you a more laid-back description of the Yghreb here:
The key to visualizing the Yghreb lies in the sentence "the Yghreb adapt and evolve continuously". It should be taken quite literally. No two Yghreb are alike, because their bodies have adapted individually to their surroundings, duties and experiences.
While I didn't intentionally steal them from any one source (and I think their background and final goal is fairly original) they have partial cultural parallels in the Vorcha from Mass Effect, Darwin from X-men, and maybe even the Fly or the Thing from the John Carpenter movies of the same name. Oddly, I think their most direct inspiration was from the Remade in the Bas-Lag novels - I wanted a race that could be almost anything, without drawing too directly on previous ideas. 
You could also compare them to mutants in various post-apoc settings (or maybe even beastmen?), but this is really what I want to avoid. They are a race with their own unified culture who just happen to be adaptive shapechangers as well, I don't want them to become a kitchen sink race if you guys catch my drift. But maybe a unified visual for a race that can look like anything is asking for a bit much.     

An old Melhune civilization would be interesting. Maybe the Cold Years or a plague sent them deep underground and they emerged scattered and degenerate. I just feel like I can only play so many "Lost Civilization" cards, so I don't want to waste it.

I was considering the Huskmen (aka swarm people) to have some kind of civilized background as well, but I doubt this would make sense as anything but an oligarchy ruling over e.g. human slaves.

Hmm, I'm a bit confused on how the Yghreb work still. The fact that their is a unified culture combined with the fact that they change so quickly and efficiently, seems like a paradox.

There's really nothing to say that they can't have a multiple cultures - look at humans in every setting - especially with their penchant for change. Northern Yghreb and southern Yghreb could radically different in everything - language, culture, religion, appearance.

But I think you should have at least one unifying factor, especially physical, that makes them a single race - however diverse - instead of them seeing like a million different mutants that have no common ground. Even if it's strange or small, like they all have red eyes, or they all have black hair, or that they only have 4 instead of 5 fingers - something strange that's hard-coded into their DNA that they cannot change. 

I'm honestly not entirely sure myself :p

I can't really give them an obvious discerning characteristic since they have to able to masquerade as humans. I think growing eyes on the back of your hand every once in a while is difficult enough to keep hidden from your human wife as is.

There'd definitely be cultural differences between Yghrebian clans and especially between the city-clans and the traditional clans.
A few different ways their adaption/evolution could work:

• Pure Adaption: Trial-by-error evolution. Freeze -> grow fur. Get hurt -> grow tougher. Outrunned -> grow faster
• Biological Theft: This idea was one of my original ideas for the Yghreb (then Melek) where they physically steal limbs, organs, eyes, whatever and insert them in themselves, assimilating them into their bodies. Warriors who lose an arm would just steal another one from the battlefield and if the liver or another organ is hurt they just swallow another one. They might even steal multiple hearts or adrenal glands. The issue with this is that they end up looking a little much like patchwork beastmen and they can't e.g. get a mantis arm (*cough* Half-a-Prayer) because it's way too tiny
• Random evolution: This would probably be in addition to one of the other ideas. Basically they just suffer from random natural mutation like humans, but at a faster pace and while still alive.
• Evolution through Association: They could simply adapt to what they see, eat and mate with. For the eating part, they'd kinda be stealing small snatches of DNA that might then appear in their random mutations later. The mating part would essentially make mating with humans a very interesting prospect for the self-destructive city-living Yghrebs, which could cause some interesting conflicts and prejudices about changeling incubus creatures and what have you.

Without wanting to go too much into the science aspect of it all, I think I will take a line from the Thing and say that the cells/tissues of these creatures are basically independent creatures (capable of working, living, dying and evolving on their own) working in concert. Would also be sorta creepy since you'd see, for instance, an Yghreb hand crawl away after being cut off and so on.
They'd primarily be going through the random evolution process, their tissue clusters dying and regrowing at an unusually swift pace. Bad alterations would be weeded out of the gene pool through natural selection of body parts in their own lifetime, while the really bad alterations would be made exempt from the gene pool by good ol' fashioned death. But now, I need some way for the city-living Yghreb to actively become more human and I think the organ-snatching idea is probably the best fit. The Yghreb might have a penchant for grave-robbing, scavenging human body parts in an effort to modify themselves.  
Also, let's give them the you-are-what-you-eat evolution as well. Creepy as fuck, but would allow them to acquire e.g. human faces (no, they wouldn't eat the face, just some flesh or something). This does bring them a little close to ghouls though, who represent a substantial part of the Besmakian post-mortem ecology, but I don't know what I could do to differentiate them further.
Last, but not least, let us say that their weird genes are oddly dominant. They can cross-breed with anything and the child is always Yghreb with some traits of the other parent thrown in. Think the eponymous creatures from the Alien films; they also acquire genetic traits from whatever they were born in. In the cities Yghrebs would be immensely interested in finding human mates.  
Ehm, so now they basically embody every taboo of the human society they are trying to blend into. Are they too nasty? Their worldview has always been about survival and the continuation of the species (whatever guise it takes) and I can see how they'd justify all these pretty abhorrent acts.

I think it'd probably be best if I just aim for a visual somewhere along the lines of heavily grafted human with the occasional set of antlers thrown in. No, they'd probably look mostly human with some canine or maybe even avian traits. Sleek perfect hunters.
I don't think they can diverge too much from the bipedal humanoid form e.g. they can't become cows through selective breeding.

On another note, they would probably live in creature ghettos like the Melhune, except above-ground. I have this idea of the human-looking Yghreb being forced to wear a badge in public to identify themselves as monsters (yes, inspired by the holocaust badges but not intended as an analogy). Also, a select member of the community would be chosen to be the community's guardian, or Fury. The Fury would be pumped full of a dozen beating hearts, grafted muscles and multiple hormonal and adrenal glands allowing them to launch themselves into a superhuman drug-fuelled rage. These furies would be extremely valuable to the often persecuted minority, but also short-tempered virile loose cannons in constant need of appeasement in the form of young Yghreb virgins and enough food to keep their heightened metabolism going.

EDIT: another necessary part of City Yghreb culture is the self-modification and -mutilation they must perform to hide their non-human traits and keep up appearances. This could involve anything from hiding slitted pupils behind optics to cutting off extra fingers. 

I have also been tinkering with them having a special biological response called a "flare" where their body (especially the evolutionary aspect of it) goes into overdrive. This typically happens when angered, scared or frustrated: the body will adapt almost instantaneously and the Yghreb will typically display certain "hidden" features. This roughly corresponds to a cat extending its claws or a frilled lizard opening its frills. An involuntary aggressive display betraying their true nature. A favorite of mine would be a krenshar-like (D&D monster) behaviour where the Yghreb pulls the skin away from the bones of his skull in a threatening manner. A secondary set of teeth is also an option. The city-yghreb would have to practice self-control.
I also imagine that the Yghreb have heighened awareness of their body and maybe even additional control, but they are also more spontaneous and instinctive creatures than humans. 

How common are the Yghreb? Are they spread thinly throughout the world, or are they in a few but concentrated pockets?

As for your 4 points, I'm leaning towards the first one. But the mention of random (read: rogue yghreb) would be cool. Like freaks of nature that are way too evolved and are extremely dangerous and powerful.

And what about the extended description?

There are quite a few on the desolate southern continent, but many have migrated to the cities of Besmakia. This is where they live in the highest concentration and where they are regulated the most. Some migrate further north where their kind is more uncommon and where it is easier to blend in. On the other hand they will probably be subject to harsher repercussions in the north if their true nature is discovered, risking being shunned or beaten

In Besmakia there'll probably be a ghetto for them in most cities and a small community in most towns, but further north you will only find them in the larger cities.

I'd be grateful if someone could give a more in-depth impression of my thoughts on the Yghreb.

Loving the concepts for the happenmen and grammarians. I think the word's fine, but I'm curious to hear more about how abstract concepts are used as weapons... whether it's more manipulation of thought or actually swinging a poem at somebody's face.

I love the general idea behind the Yghreb. Two questions: How fast do they change, under what conditions, and what else can they do? For example, fast healing is good for a shapechanger who can just squeeze wounds shut. You mentioned their bodies "learning from" what they eat and mate with. What if they actually need a sample for any anatomical trait? Or what if they can "wear" parts from other creatures. Like just picking up an arm and putting it on.

(last paragraph written while reading page one)

This is a pretty good rundown of a school of magic I've been wanting to use for ages. For the species, I can see a mix of factors being in play.

I like the idea of being able to pick up and use parts quickly. If you make regeneration a part of their schtick, that plus the genetic compatibility could easily justify this without it having to be the predominant form of mutation in the species.

I like the idea of normally more slow mutation, suited to whatever task the Yghreb most undertakes. But maybe allow minor control to happen faster? Like rearranging or reshaping facial features could be a minor trick.

I really really like the "rage" that can accelerate the process. It could probably get a lot wilder though. As in being able to break from the normal frame, grow a load of limbs, break open the jaw and swallow a cow, and other really alien/freeform things.

I also really don't think it's necessary that they stay human. Your example of one looking like a cow because that's what's on hand and grazing is the order of the day is kind of fun. The idea of a cow going into a "rage," incorporating three more cows into itself, and going on a rampage doubly so.

I like the ideas behind the furies. Both the idea of more monstrous variants existing, and the idea that they'd be a bit crazy and have to eat pretty much everything all the time.

Lastly, there's magic in the world, and no guarantee that genetics works as normal. Maybe throw some real craziness in there. Allow "traits" from inanimate objects, or occasional breaks from conservation of mass.

Quote from: Superfluous Crow
And what about the extended description?

There are quite a few on the desolate southern continent, but many have migrated to the cities of Besmakia. This is where they live in the highest concentration and where they are regulated the most. Some migrate further north where their kind is more uncommon and where it is easier to blend in. On the other hand they will probably be subject to harsher repercussions in the north if their true nature is discovered, risking being shunned or beaten

In Besmakia there'll probably be a ghetto for them in most cities and a small community in most towns, but further north you will only find them in the larger cities.

I'd be grateful if someone could give a more in-depth impression of my thoughts on the Yghreb.

In so few words, I think they work. The visuals of yghreb ghettos with the Fury enforcer is pretty good. But what are the limits of their anatomical flexibility? If they moved to very steep, high mountains, would they grow wings? Or just become good climbers by growing longer, stronger limbs and a more accute sense of balance?

What is the culture of the Yghreb like? Is it like their anatomy where they just adapt other things, or do they have their own, unique culture, religion, and language despite their vast physical differences. (Which brings up a thought that maybe the Yghreb don't see physical appearance as anything important, but are more drawn towards other things?)

As to the level of adaptation, I'm just saying that if an Yghreb only "assimilated" cows it would not, in fact, become a cow, but more of a powerful, broad-girthed man, perhaps with hooves, horns and four stomachs. Eating only wolves they might get improved nightvision, fangs and claws, a lupine gait and the ability to lope quickly on all fours and a lean muscular frame. Unhinging the jaw is a cool idea, one I originally had for my ghouls but which I had been thinking of moving to the Yghreb. Thanks for reminding me! They probably won't swallow entire animals (at least not larger ones), but they might down entire limbs or still-beating hearts, fresh from their prey.
Wings, too, I fear are a bit out of their reach, but yeah, they'd definitely develop leaner forms, better balance, stronger lungs and legs, as well as climbing claws.  

They definitely have their own culture, but it might be more syncretic than most as you suggest. I think they have an animistic approach to religion and believe in certain relationships between the hunter, his family, his prey and his environment. They do have their own language. Since they live fairly isolated, even from others of their own kind, they might even have more than one plus dialects for each. A lingua franca of sorts would probably develop in the cities.  

I'm considering making their base more avian, though. I have always been a fan of the kenku race, but I think this setting has reached critical mass when it comes to races. The next step from the current state would be pure racial anarchy a la Bas-lag and I am not sure the premise can handle that. So I figured that maybe I could roll them into one. Instead of raven beaks I was thinking ibis/kiwi beaks though. To join the cityfolk they'd have to tear off their beaks and replace them with human teeth.
I think this might be a good approach. Would differentiate them from ghouls and humans and give them a unifying (and unique!) visual.
I imagine entering an Yghreb ghetto would be like walking into a colorful maze of tall dilapidated tenements with long-fingered four-eyed birdfolk weavers plying their trade on the street, clusters of lean, clawed hunters with crooked knives talking in their guttural language over freshly flayed meat, newly-made beakless drugged into senselessness, still feeling the agony of the open wound they call their mouth, now full of crooked teeth and blood, a red sun sewn onto their vest, hulking muscle-grafted ibis-men dragging carts through their streets while their small heads look to the ground subservently. Somewhere the fury would be hiding, drunk on wine, sex and adrenaline, a mass of claws and muscles, crowned by a set of antlers, and served day-and-night by the "well-adapted" courtesans who throng the neighborhood and service both Yghreb and men. And of course, there are the true bleakless, the half-men, who look perfectly human yet somehow don't seem out of place in the ghetto.  

EDIT: On another note, I think the ecology of the setting is going to be a mix of living and extinct modern-time animals (e.g. wolf, eagle, dodo, tiger) and Miocene creatures like giant bears/sloths and terror birds and freaky sea monsters. Oh, and of course there is gonna be a lot of fantastical creatures as well.

Go with the ibis-men! That's awesome!

The second you mentioned birds, I was almost wondering if certain yghreb might have eaten pigeons for a while. Even if the base species is birdlike, and they are trying to be human, maybe you could consider radicals getting their beaks back and looking unique from both standard and most city yghreb.

@Beejazz: as in lose beak, then get a new (different) beak back later? Well, it probably wouldn't be impossible, but I can't imagine why they'd do it.

As to how you could use abstract concepts as a weapon, reifiers might have captured the concept of Fear and then used it to instill primal dread in the minds of opponents, or use the concept of Making-Unmaking to turn an armor into bolts, leather, and sheet metal. One might even capture a highly abstract concept such as Destruction, but although I am still not set on the details of grammarian magic I think this would be a very difficult endeavour.   

Although I should probably write down something about countries at first the many (read: 2) questions about magic caused me to want to write something down about it. Now, this is easier said than done.

I have a lot of thoughts about this (primary) system of magic but right now it is all a bit disorganized. I did manage to write something down, but mostly on the essential mechanics of the system and thus it is neither evocative nor colorful. It still lacks something. Just a premise explained at length.

[ic=The Premise]
Underlying the world we see is the world we think, a world dismissed by most as mere figment of thought. Some, though, realize that the world of thoughts is every bit as real as the material one. Thoughts, words, letters - all of these are symbols carrying a measure of meaning, hinting at some underlying truth or intent. The Magisters are willing to go far to find this hidden meaning.

They realize that the concept Fear is different from the word fear, that justice is not Justice, but that if they could bridge this gap they could bring the intangible closer to the material. Make the abstract real.
Through arduous training, reflection and meditation Magisters make an abstract thought cease to be a mere symbol and embody the very meaning of the concept.

They call the reified half-concept half-thought a geist. The magister retains control as it is a thought, but now he controls more than just a whim of imagination or consideration. He controls abstract nature. Acting as an eldritch key to an aspect of the hidden semantic world around him, the Magister is left with power over an intangible and ineffable force.

With power over the correct geist a skilled reifier can pull Truth from unwilling lips, instill primal Fear in a man's mind, make artifice be Unmade, and affect the world in a number of strange ways.
[/ic]

So, as you might be able to gather this system is about the reification (i.e. summoning) and control of abstract concepts - the words we use in our everyday life to convey ideas and thoughts. It is loosely based on Plato's World of Forms (ideas/concepts) where he reflects that everything material is a shadow of its absolute ideal.

Oddly enough, another source of inspiration is shamanism. I'm thinking that these Magisters would represent a "scholarfication" of the old traditions. Where the shamans would go into trances to visit the spirit world and speak with the manifested ideal of the Hunt or the Rain, the Magisters would chart the semantics of our own modern Word-gods and maybe even drug themselves on hallucinogenics to ease contact with the abstract world.  

While they are more scholarly, I think it would be cool to keep a level of spirituality, though. Make them slightly ecclesiastichal.

On a more basic level I was thinking that their ability to reify stemmed from a supernatural ability to manifest thoughtforms through strict psychic training. This would mostly be a gimmick - they wouldn't be able to summon thought-rhinoes or anything like. Just make malleable or chaotic things like vapor and fluid bow to the Magisters will to a limited extent e.g. create images in smoke or shapes out of water. Basically small effects that might as well have happened by way of pure coincidence.

There is already one book working with a similar system and I am trying to keep a comfortable distance to Daniel Abraham's poetry-spirits (although I had this idea independently; I should have kept from reading his book so I could have denied its existence :p ).
I need to set some rules and limits for how this works - what geists can you potentially summon, what risks are there, how does a good Magister differ from a bad one? What keeps you from e.g. manifesting lines of poetry?

I do not envision this as a classic faith-based mechanic. It is not because people "believe in Justice" that you get to reify it. Neither is Justice an immanent attribute of the world, here since the dawn of time. Instead, it is because the Magister constructs the idea of Justice and reifies it that it exists. It is all sort of cyclical and weird.

The geists which have a more direct effect on the world seemingly work outside the ordinary laws of nature. The Magister just tells the world to mean something different and it changes to accomodate this. Tell a box to be Unmade and the planks and nails would pull apart without the application of any external force. It just happens.

I also want a sort of strange pseudo-scientific/half-spiritual jargon built around this, with the mapping and charting of aspects, the analysis of poetry and linguistics, the structuring of the abstract. I imagine some things are relatively easy to reify while other things are impossible. Physical objects for one would be impossible to reify (you can't tell a thought to be a chair, no matter how good your training is). I'm also a little intrigued by cyclical concepts such as justice-injustice - we can all talk about concepts like these, but their definition is based almost directly on that dichotomy. One is the absence of the other. Like asking whether darkness is the presence of darkness or the absence of light (all physical notions of photons aside). Would these be easy or difficult to reify?

I would love to just get some input on this. I realize it is a bit hairy and vague so far, but I really like the premise and I would love to see it come together. Think scholarly word-priests controlling abstract concepts and I think you have the gist of it.    

EDIT: another source of inspiration and the primary cause for my unreasonable love for the term "reification" stems from the amazing novel the Gone-Away World.

I'm not dead set on them being called Magisters. It seems a little flat to be honest. I have a bag of words that seem appropriate, but can't figure out how to combine them into something memorable:
Arthas (Hindi for meaning), gestalt (something being more than the sum of its components), grammarian (sounds cool and brings to mind the names of Cubic/Equilibrium which I think have a good ring to them), geist, noo- (think it means thought in greek, not entirely sure) 

Quote from: Superfluous Crow
I also want a sort of strange pseudo-scientific/half-spiritual jargon built around this, with the mapping and charting of aspects, the analysis of poetry and linguistics, the structuring of the abstract. I imagine some things are relatively easy to reify while other things are impossible. Physical objects for one would be impossible to reify (you can't tell a thought to be a chair, no matter how good your training is). I'm also a little intrigued by cyclical concepts such as justice-injustice - we can all talk about concepts like these, but their definition is based almost directly on that dichotomy. One is the absence of the other. Like asking whether darkness is the presence of darkness or the absence of light (all physical notions of photons aside). Would these be easy or difficult to reify?   

Perhaps humans and the rest of the Ilk simply cannot fathom some of these ideas, just like we cannot. While it could be theoretically possible to reify a twig into the concept of Mercy, the mortal mind simply cannot wrap itself around such a bizarre and metaphysical concept.

So as far as mortals are concerned, they can only reify things in which they can understand the chance. I can personally see a sword being reified into the concept of Vengeance, but refiying a moth to embody the concept of Benevolence would be a stretch to say the least.

So just stick with things that make sense, even if theoretically the magic of BV can support such a thing, it is entirely acceptable for mortals to be unable to fathom it.

Hmm, I was mostly thinking in the veins of reifying abstracts as thoughts (which are still pretty intangible, but less so, so I will defend my right to call it reification), while you are moving into the territory of reifying abstracts as objects which isn't really possible in the current framework. But there are definitely some possibilities there as well.

Maybe I should just make it a sort of semiotic magic based on metaphors and similes and abstracts? I don't want spells per se, but maybe a few things can be reified on the spot.

All of those ideas were very intriguing, but I like this one best for the Ibis-bird-creatures:

QuoteBiological Theft: This idea was one of my original ideas for the Yghreb (then Melek) where they physically steal limbs, organs, eyes, whatever and insert them in themselves, assimilating them into their bodies. Warriors who lose an arm would just steal another one from the battlefield and if the liver or another organ is hurt they just swallow another one. They might even steal multiple hearts or adrenal glands. The issue with this is that they end up looking a little much like patchwork beastmen and they can't e.g. get a mantis arm (*cough* Half-a-Prayer) because it's way too tiny

Took another stab at the geistworkers (formerly Grammarians). Still not in its final form, but getting better if stranger.

[ic=Geistworker]
The wizard is a common character of bards' tales. The powerful, scheming magi of ancient kingdoms, who controlled winds and fire with incantations and words of power. Sadly, the real world is not like that; there are no spells, no ancient incantations or powerful wizards with a crisp pronounciation and flamboyant gestures. But that isn't to say there isn't a grain of truth to the old stories. The idea of words of power has some merit to it, but it has been twisted from its original meaning. It is not about pronounciation, length, ancient memorized phrases or ritualistic invocations. It's about the inherent power hidden in all words: common or arcane.

The shamans of old found it first. That hidden world behind our own, the world of meaning rather than sense. Man and Ilk see the world around them through a lens of language, making flesh and blood family and foe, turning space into rooms and forests, making otherwise meaningless actions just or unjust.

The geistworkers are the heirs of this old lore. Over the centuries it developed into a secret system, well-studied yet infinitely complex, and the geistworkers set out to master it. They know the art of Projection, how to shape wind and water into feeble thoughtforms - illusions of power. Yet the world is stubborn. It will take more than willpower to change it. Yet outwards is not the only way to go, as the masters who came before taught them.

Drinking the sour juice of the Caraccan root and the ground dust of the Melte nut and ingesting or imbing other arcane substances brings the geistworker to frontiers of the conscious mind left unexplored by the ur-shamans and when they Project into themselves they enter a dreamworld of part madness and part meaning. Here, the lens is turned, and the language of the mind is made sense of by reflecting it in the material .

It is a strange world the geistworkers then enter, where metaphors talk and memories walk and where streets are made of Nostalgia and Dream. Their own mind seen as if it were real. Whether it actually is a real place or a vivid delusion has been the subject of many esoteric theses, but is unanswered as of yet.
In this otherworldly dreamscape they visit their own thoughts and instigate a paradox.

Over a cup of Sweet Taste they make a pact passed down through the centuries and tell the thought its definition. This sets in motion a strange process by which thought-thinks-thought and the thought becomes the thinker. A paradoxical sentience is awakened in the geistworkers mind and a Geist is born. A word is made alive.

It is by these old pacts of recursion that geistworkers acquire the power to change the world.
[/ic]

The geistworker will have two sources of power I am thinking. One would be the semi-sentient bound Geists, who award him with control of their domain in return for a part of his consciousness. These are purely intangible, residing in his mind. The other source of power would be metaphors. Essentially, a geistworker would find, make or acquire objects with a peripheral semiotic meaning, like well-trodden boots, a coin-given-freely, or a blunt pair of scissors and use the Art of Projection to attribute them with supernatural-but-reified meaning. These would be easier to use in the spur of the moment.

I am thinking this will be a very free-form system, limited by a few simple rules, GM fiat, and the player's imagination. There will also be an inherent risk to offering up your conscious mind to weird spirit-abstracts, of course. And visiting the dreamscape isn't without its own dangers either.  

EDIT: most of the Geistworkers will be natives of Setch, a country fascinated by meaninglessness or the lack of the same who follow the advice of Augurs and enjoy the ramblings of nonsense-poets.

Quote from: Superfluous Crow
Took another stab at the geistworkers (formerly Grammarians). Still not in its final form, but getting better if stranger.

[ic=Geistworker]
The wizard is a common character of bards' tales. The powerful, scheming magi of ancient kingdoms, who controlled winds and fire with incantations and words of power. Sadly, the real world is not like that; there are no spells, no ancient incantations or powerful wizards with a crisp pronounciation and flamboyant gestures. But that isn't to say there isn't a grain of truth to the old stories. The idea of words of power has some merit to it, but it has been twisted from its original meaning. It is not about pronounciation, length, ancient memorized phrases or ritualistic invocations. It's about the inherent power hidden in all words: common or arcane.

The shamans of old found it first. That hidden world behind our own, the world of meaning rather than sense. Man and Ilk see the world around them through a lens of language, making flesh and blood family and foe, turning space into rooms and forests, making otherwise meaningless actions just or unjust.

The geistworkers are the heirs of this old lore. Over the centuries it developed into a secret system, well-studied yet infinitely complex, and the geistworkers set out to master it. They know the art of Projection, how to shape wind and water into feeble thoughtforms - illusions of power. Yet the world is stubborn. It will take more than willpower to change it. Yet outwards is not the only way to go, as the masters who came before taught them.

Drinking the sour juice of the Caraccan root and the ground dust of the Melte nut and ingesting or imbing other arcane substances brings the geistworker to frontiers of the conscious mind left unexplored by the ur-shamans and when they Project into themselves they enter a dreamworld of part madness and part meaning. Here, the lens is turned, and the language of the mind is made sense of by reflecting it in the material .

It is a strange world the geistworkers then enter, where metaphors talk and memories walk and where streets are made of Nostalgia and Dream. Their own mind seen as if it were real. Whether it actually is a real place or a vivid delusion has been the subject of many esoteric theses, but is unanswered as of yet.
In this otherworldly dreamscape they visit their own thoughts and instigate a paradox.

Over a cup of Sweet Taste they make a pact passed down through the centuries and tell the thought its definition. This sets in motion a strange process by which thought-thinks-thought and the thought becomes the thinker. A paradoxical sentience is awakened in the geistworkers mind and a Geist is born. A word is made alive.

It is by these old pacts of recursion that geistworkers acquire the power to change the world.
[/ic]

The geistworker will have two sources of power I am thinking. One would be the semi-sentient bound Geists, who award him with control of their domain in return for a part of his consciousness. These are purely intangible, residing in his mind. The other source of power would be metaphors. Essentially, a geistworker would find, make or acquire objects with a peripheral semiotic meaning, like well-trodden boots, a coin-given-freely, or a blunt pair of scissors and use the Art of Projection to attribute them with supernatural-but-reified meaning. These would be easier to use in the spur of the moment.

I am thinking this will be a very free-form system, limited by a few simple rules, GM fiat, and the player's imagination. There will also be an inherent risk to offering up your conscious mind to weird spirit-abstracts, of course. And visiting the dreamscape isn't without its own dangers either.   

EDIT: most of the Geistworkers will be natives of Setch, a country fascinated by meaninglessness or the lack of the same who follow the advice of Augurs and enjoy the ramblings of nonsense-poets.

Very good, I especially like the mention of the root and nuts.

However, maybe it's just me, but I can't wrap my head around these guys. What can they actually do? Do they change things? Create things? This has nothing to do with your idea or writing - both great - I just cannot understand them in the way you've written them so far.

yeah, mentioning small peripheral details really seems to add a lot to setting descriptions like this, unfortunately I am not very good at including them.   

The problem with these clarifying what these guys can do has a few facets to it. Firstly, it is pretty abstract because I am basically trying to make a magic system out of a RL philosophy. This is Plato's theory of forms meets spirit shamanism meets linguistics meets academic wizardry.
Secondly, they can do lots of stuff, but it all depends on what direction they take.

In short, Geistworkers can exercise control over material things/minds that are somehow related to an abstract concept they have bound as a geist. Binding a geist like Truth/Lies makes Truth/Lies a part of the Geistworker (literally) and allows him to sense Lies when they are spoken, see through forgeries and disguises and maybe even rip Truths from the lungs of liars. Binding Fear would enable him to instill primal fear in a person with a gaze or know a person's worst nightmare. Ingame I think it would mostly work by the player saying: "This guy is doing A and I have a B geist - can I do C?".
Metaphors would be like small itemized spells. He might have a key-to-a-forgotten-door that can open any one lock, a mirror-shattered-after-lie might allow him to change his face, a coin-given-in-good-faith-for-a-job-undone might temporarily charm a person who it is handed to and so on.
Basically, it is all just limited by imagination. Geists might be used or bound in many diffeent ways.

My sources of inspiration, aside from the things listed above, are a combination of magic/ideas from Mieville's Kraken and Embassytown, the andats from Daniel Abraham's Long Price series, the objects from the Lost Room miniseries and a touch of the city magic from a Madness of Angels. But I think it has ceased to closely resemble any one source of inspiration.   

Quote from: Superfluous Crow
yeah, mentioning small peripheral details really seems to add a lot to setting descriptions like this, unfortunately I am not very good at including them.   

The problem with these clarifying what these guys can do has a few facets to it. Firstly, it is pretty abstract because I am basically trying to make a magic system out of a RL philosophy. This is Plato's theory of forms meets spirit shamanism meets linguistics meets academic wizardry.
Secondly, they can do lots of stuff, but it all depends on what direction they take.

In short, Geistworkers can exercise control over material things/minds that are somehow related to an abstract concept they have bound as a geist. Binding a geist like Truth/Lies makes Truth/Lies a part of the Geistworker (literally) and allows him to sense Lies when they are spoken, see through forgeries and disguises and maybe even rip Truths from the lungs of liars. Binding Fear would enable him to instill primal fear in a person with a gaze or know a person's worst nightmare. Ingame I think it would mostly work by the player saying: "This guy is doing A and I have a B geist - can I do C?".
Metaphors would be like small itemized spells. He might have a key-to-a-forgotten-door that can open any one lock, a mirror-shattered-after-lie might allow him to change his face, a coin-given-in-good-faith-for-a-job-undone might temporarily charm a person who it is handed to and so on.
Basically, it is all just limited by imagination. Geists might be used or bound in many diffeent ways.

My sources of inspiration, aside from the things listed above, are a combination of magic/ideas from Mieville's Kraken and Embassytown, the andats from Daniel Abraham's Long Price series, the objects from the Lost Room miniseries and a touch of the city magic from a Madness of Angels. But I think it has ceased to closely resemble any one source of inspiration.   

Hmmm. Ok, I think I'm going to get it the best I can without seeing it in action.

But enough of geists, what else do you have in store? :)

Oh, had hoped you could give some feedback. Of some sort. Don't really know what.

Buy yeah, I should be careful not to get stuck on this single idea, you guys just got my thoughts rolling on the subject. I am liking the direction it is taking even if I don't quite now where it will end.

I should probably get around to writing a list of countries. Check back soon.

And to everybody not-Leetz: I'd love any kind of comment on any of the things I have written about here.   

Setch is not actually part of my region-of-focus, but it has had a lot of influence over it through the ages.

EDIT: added Kolyaev

[ic=Kingdom of Setch]
For a long time the greatest power in the east, Setch has entered a period of political turmoil and is slowly losing control.
A nations of lowland plains and windswept coasts, Setch grew from being the home of a few humble shepherds into a powerful kingdom with a vast fleet dominating the eastern reaches of the world and the Jorinter Sea.  

For a while, Setch was the center of academic learning and reason and somehow the study of the unknown, the meaningless and the ineffable became deeply entwined in their cultural and religious life. The Augurs became a powerful faction, partly dictating the future course of the kingdom based on signs and omens and the position of heavenly objects while the discussion and unravelling of puzzles and the prose of nonsense-poets became a favorite pastime.

Their cities are scattered along the coast and further inland and are dominated by baroque architecture formed from copper, sandstone and stained glass. Beautiful ivory mosaics and carved geometric patterns decorate walls and wooden doors and mazes remain extremely popular in the well-kept public parks. They have a well-developed industry, but continue to take pride in their shepherd heritage and their beautifully woven carpets and fabrics.

The waning of power is partly a consequence of a recent tragedy where much of the royal family died under mysterious circumstances. Now a familial struggle for the throne has begun, while the grieving king has retreated to the last of the once-empire's colonies: Kisvem-by-the-Sea.
[/ic]

[ic=Kolyaev and the League of Loyalists]
Lying at the veritable heart of Besmakia, where the seas and rivers of the region meet,  Kolyaev was for a short time the most important city in Besmakia. Under the rule of Marius Volkier, Besmakia was united under one flag and the Grand Empire of Besmakia was founded. Marius was almost singularly responsible for putting the south back on the map, but as his empire and control grew he slowly succumbed to madness. His orders grew excentric and he became convinced that he was the incarnation of the land itself.

His reign ended with his suicide and he was followed by a young man he had personally picked as his heir, who was anointed as the next Incarnate Emperor, simultaneously being and ruling the empire. This didn't last for long though, as a bloodless coup put the military elite in power while retaining the Emperor as a figurehead. Sadly, this was not enough to keep the strained empire from falling apart.

A few city-states, once-grand Kolyaev included, still cling to their not-so-distant imperial past, but even though the voice of their puppet-king still carries weight in the Marrow Sea they are far from as powerful as they used to be. They call themselves the League of Loyalists and although their empire is decimated they continue to hold sway over the strategically important Serpent's Strait.

Kolyaev bears the marks of having been an imperial capital and brass monuments and defaced scultures are found in every corner of the labyrinthine city of narrow sloping streets and grand plazas. The buildings are tall and imposing, constructed from crenelated grey stone and weathered wood with gargoyles staring at the street below from the top of tall towers ringing with the sound of bells.

The Bastion towers over the city, but the most impressive feature of the city is the primitive electrical network of heavy wires winding its way through streets and alleys, added 13 years ago for the great Centennial Kolyaev was set to host before the pestilence struck. Ill-maintained and barely understood, it continues to provide light and heat for the citizens brave enough to use it.
[/ic]

This is all still in primer format. I have yet to detail Kisvem-by-Sea (the last setchic colony with a long history of occupation and a major player in trade and the wars against the corsairs), the Borronen Empire (a country of nomadic reindeer herds who went through a hasty industrialization by a somewhat over-ambitious king. Trains and wilderness), The Somner Union (a mining city with hinterlands fighting each other for gold and iron and cannibal horseriders for land and life), Berend (a rural theo-democracy ruled by and for saints), Ludmir (a pious country of whalers known for their academic accomplishments as much as for their ritualized lifestyle), Janusport (a dual port residing on both sides of an Isthmus challenging Kisvem for trade), the Principalities of Old Lebothia (barely allied inbred families of the Old Blood fighting for control of their heriditary land), Coldriver (ex-colony fighting for survival and hoping for gold in a place so cold the rivers freeze over), and Redemption (a refugee-city of shambling tenements acting as gateway to Besmakia and a melting pot of cultures and races)            

That's what I'm talking about!

That is all really, really good stuff. Just long enough to cover the basics, but short enough to be entertaining and leave the reader wanting for more.

Setch - Very cool, very Borges. I'm guessing it's somewhat peripheral for the Besmakia-based setting? If so, it works very well, as it's mysterious and exotic.
What type of gods do they worship if they worship gods at all? Sheogorath via the Elder Scrolls came to mind for some reason.
Physically, what do they Setch look like? Should I be thinking Carthage/Phonecia to an extant?
What is their great fleet like? Are they just fantastic sailors, or are their ships extremely advanced, either through construction or weaponry like Greek-fire?

Kolyaev - Once again, well-written, but I didn't see anything new (which is no problem at all)

As for the other cities, they all sound really good, you have some nice contrasting ideas with lots of them. "Academic whalers" is my favorite. The Borronen Empire seems cool too, very Trans-Siberian Railroad, which is sweet.

Janusport, as a name, is a bit obvious though.

One last thing - it seems that many of these nations are in decline or have declined, if that is true, what, or who, is filling the power void left?

Yeah, Janusport is obvious if you know the mythical origins. My alternative was Commonport, but Janus had a nicer ring to it. Or what?

I have noticed the decline tendency as well and although I like the thematics and tone of decline I don't want this setting to be a one-trick pony. But in fact, saying all of these places are in decline is misrepresenting them a bit. The tone I really want to strike is that of a setting on the verge of change. All of these places are not at the proverbial bottom of their existence, they are in the middle and from there it can go either up or down. They are in a transitional phase if you will (although yes, there has been a downwards spiralling tendency in some of these places).

Setch though was doing quite good until said mysterious accident. Actually, they were probably beginning to fall prey to decadence. Now the simmering civil-war-waiting-to-happen is mucking things up a bit. Kolyaev took a dive when the empire fell apart after the Volkier's death, but has managed to recover relatively well.   

I am still playing around with the exact nature of the accident. Originally it was supposed to be the fallout of some mystical ritual to control fate which caused all fates to shortcut and people to die in freak accidents, but having a magical wasteland seems a bit too cliché honestly. It's probably just going to be good ol' murder. Maybe by a geistworker or a happenman to mix things up :p

Kolyaev seems familiar because that blurp is pretty much just a rewrite of stuff I have posted here before. Marius is meant to be a divisive figure of power, although he is dead by a century or so. I imagine him as half Napoleon, half ceaucescu or something like that.
The place very much has a military police-state/former-capital-in-decline ambience, but is also marked by the World Fair (centennial) that never took place, nationalist undertones, native mysticism, and large minorities.

I have this image of Borronen where a few barbarian natives stand near a line of tracks passing through the empty tundra watching a rumbling locomotive rolling by. The High Chief studied abroad when he was young and came back with a head full of dreams that his country wasn't ready for. There are only a few cities (read: fortified towns) but an extensive network of trains and factories no one knows how to operate.

I'll post more later perhaps.

Quote from: Superfluous Crow
I have noticed the decline tendency as well and although I like the thematics and tone of decline I don't want this setting to be a one-trick pony. But in fact, saying all of these places are in decline is misrepresenting them a bit. The tone I really want to strike is that of a setting on the verge of change. All of these places are not at the proverbial bottom of their existence, they are in the middle and from there it can go either up or down. They are in a transitional phase if you will (although yes, there has been a downwards spiralling tendency in some of these places).

That makes sense, but having other agents of chance would give it more of a progressive and less cataclysmic feel. More Belle Epoque and less, well, fall of Rome-era I suppose. Who are these "agents of change"? Are they liberal or conservative movements, pro- or anti-magic, xenophobic or heterogeneous? Violent, peaceful, law-abiding, revolutionary?

The primary source of conflict is ideological at its core. Most of my countries are monarchies and the world is undergoing a destabilization of the old power balance. Proverbial thrones are slowly being usurped by bankers, merchants, priests, schemers, and scholars. There will be tension between the upper and lower classes, but I'd rather not have it all turn into Communism: the RPG so I will be keeping a reasonable distance.
Faith also plays in. Atheism is reserved for extremists while cults and sects abound.
There are a few dominant religions as well, who are further supported by a plethora of superstitions and the native witchcraft-faith of the Besmakians.
Finally, there are threats from the outside. The corsairs might be preparing for another attack at this very moment, and Eber and the other Penitent Kingdoms have recovered almost completely from the pestilence 13 years earlier and might already have plans in motion to secure land and influence.   

Quote from: Superfluous Crow
The primary source of conflict is ideological at its core. Most of my countries are monarchies and the world is undergoing a destabilization of the old power balance. Proverbial thrones are slowly being usurped by bankers, merchants, priests, schemers, and scholars. There will be tension between the upper and lower classes, but I'd rather not have it all turn into Communism: the RPG so I will be keeping a reasonable distance.
Faith also plays in. Atheism is reserved for extremists while cults and sects abound.
There are a few dominant religions as well, who are further supported by a plethora of superstitions and the native witchcraft-faith of the Besmakians.
Finally, there are threats from the outside. The corsairs might be preparing for another attack at this very moment, and Eber and the other Penitent Kingdoms have recovered almost completely from the pestilence 13 years earlier and might already have plans in motion to secure land and influence.   

I wouldn't worry about it becoming a Communist-esque setting, there are plenty of political movements and ideologies to pull from, I don't want to assume, but I'm guessing being European, you know more than us Americans do. And without a unifying event (I'm thinking French Revolution) that set the direction towards liberalism, there is nothing to argue that a nation couldn't have gone a thousand different directions upon the fall of a monarchy.

What about reformations and conflicts within individual churches?

Nah, it was mostly that last sentence I was referring to, everything else should be a-okay.

There is definitely some intra-church conflicts as well. The Therennial Cycle (the "main" religion) was originally founded in Setch, but caught on in the Penitent Kingdoms (north-west) as well. It was then brought by missionaries and colonists to Besmakia, but didn't take root before several syncretic elements had been included from Urdism, the animistic faith of the Marrowmen. Sort of like how Haitians worship a mix of traditional Voodoo and Catholicism or the Philippinos are devout Christians but still pay heed to their indigenous mythology.
So the Orthodox church in Setch aren't entirely sure whether this sect is part of their religion or not.
Somner had a similar history.
Currently there are also two major religions duking it out: a dichotomous monotheistic double-deity vs. dogmatic pagan mysticism.
There have also been several attempts at "cleansing" Besmakia from what some perceive as the Urdic stain, and there are the Inheritors who flat out declare that the gods are dead or gone and that humans are their heirs to the chagrin of many.   

I like how you're taking religions seriously and not just defining them in the classic Greco-Roman way, which, myself guilty, I think we use too much.

I'll post more later, I have a test this morning and got to jet.

Good luck!

I'm not religious myself, but I do have a deep fascination with the concepts of faith and religion so they will definitely be featured extensively in BV.

Hmm, I have a few very odd things that I can't quite figure out how to get into play, namely ensouled extracts, ambrosia (semiotic super-spice), and codename Phlogiston (essentially condensed energy). The latter two names are derived from the real world, so not sure whether to stick with them or not.
These things are borderline sciency and I fear they might not fit in too well with the otherwise somewhat mystical-industrial tone of the setting. So I basically have two options:
1) increase the general "weird science" level of the setting
2) making them imports from a weird place
(The latter option is realized and exemplified in the Bas-Lag universe where the author can bring in weirder things than normal by alluding to the "Witchocracy of Tesh" or "the Ghosthead Empire" - places that remain basically undescribed throughout the novels.)  

So, possible locations if I go with 2) would be:
I could redirect those sciences to having been developed in the Penitent States, the northern rivals of Besmakia, but these cities are if anything less mystical and more enlightened which might again not fit well with the weird nature of the products listed above.

Ludmir (the pious academic whaler people) could be a good source of weird stuff, but then again they'd have little reason to make any of the above being a fairly humble and abstinent people.
Option 3 would be to have an undetailed empire across the otherwise impenetrable eastern sea who have sent a few smiling emissaries west bearing strange gifts. Option 3 could be interesting, with them seemingly benign but possibly with malevolent intent, hiding behind smiles and courtesy.
(then again, just realized that is basically what Eberron did with that wierd psionic country...)    

I am also a bit stuck on the huskmen/swarm people. I'm veering towards making them actual supernatural creatures, partly to explain how a mass of insects can carry tools. Originally worshipped by humans as nature spirits, the creatures have managed to hang on to sliver of the reverence they were once subject to and have integrated themselves into the higher levels of human society, mingling with kings and merchants and acting as advisors. That being said, only a few of them attain true sentience and the rest live strange transient lives as beggar demi-gods.  

I like option 3 personally. There was a Lovecraft dreamland story with something like that. I think they also kidnapped people, but it's been a while. Waking in the hold of a ship going somewhere no one has gone (or come back from) would be an interesting session.

Quote from: Superfluous Crow
Hmm, I have a few very odd things that I can't quite figure out how to get into play, namely ensouled extracts, ambrosia (semiotic super-spice), and codename Phlogiston (essentially condensed energy). The latter two names are derived from the real world, so not sure whether to stick with them or not.
These things are borderline sciency and I fear they might not fit in too well with the otherwise somewhat mystical-industrial tone of the setting. So I basically have two options:
1) increase the general "weird science" level of the setting
2) making them imports from a weird place
(The latter option is realized and exemplified in the Bas-Lag universe where the author can bring in weirder things than normal by alluding to the "Witchocracy of Tesh" or "the Ghosthead Empire" - places that remain basically undescribed throughout the novels.)  

So, possible locations if I go with 2) would be:
I could redirect those sciences to having been developed in the Penitent States, the northern rivals of Besmakia, but these cities are if anything less mystical and more enlightened which might again not fit well with the weird nature of the products listed above.

Ludmir (the pious academic whaler people) could be a good source of weird stuff, but then again they'd have little reason to make any of the above being a fairly humble and abstinent people.
Option 3 would be to have an undetailed empire across the otherwise impenetrable eastern sea who have sent a few smiling emissaries west bearing strange gifts. Option 3 could be interesting, with them seemingly benign but possibly with malevolent intent, hiding behind smiles and courtesy.
(then again, just realized that is basically what Eberron did with that wierd psionic country...)    

I am also a bit stuck on the huskmen/swarm people. I'm veering towards making them actual supernatural creatures, partly to explain how a mass of insects can carry tools. Originally worshipped by humans as nature spirits, the creatures have managed to hang on to sliver of the reverence they were once subject to and have integrated themselves into the higher levels of human society, mingling with kings and merchants and acting as advisors. That being said, only a few of them attain true sentience and the rest live strange transient lives as beggar demi-gods.  

I would go "Weird Science", as magic in this setting already seems to be developing along subtle and nuanced strands, having crazy sciencey stuff would be a good counter point.

You could also do 2 and 3 and combine them to an extant, they don't have to be exclusive.

I also really like your new take on the Swarm-People as quasi-revered advisers and pseudo-prophets, feared but needed. Go that route.

I know this isn't much of a response, length-wise, but it's all pretty good, so there isn't much to criticize.

EDIT: Orrichalcum is another real-world name ( even before Skyrim ) that you could use as well in addition to Phlogiston and ambrosia

Can you direct me to more info on the huskmen?  I'm having trouble tracking them down.  Are these figures made of insect swarms, similar/identical to the Swarm Gods/swarmkin?  I love the idea of swarm-beggars controlling castoff bodies, rotting cadaver-vagabonds beseeching passersby for a hunk of spoiled meat ("Blessing of Tchekhryszebh upon you, sir," the creature says in a thousand tiny voices).  I'd say Yes to them being supernatural, it seems strange to have them be somehow "natural" in any sense.

One thing I'd wonder about are different subraces or breeds of huskmen (I'm assuming here they're the same as swarmkin).  Are they always variegated, or could some huskmen be composed of one sort of vermin, hence maggotmen, mothlings, arachnoids, or whatever you'd want to term each type?  Perhaps the personalities of a given swarmkin shifts depending on what insects constitute it, or perhaps there are huskman clans?  Can huskmen formed entirely out of flying insects also fly?

Yeah, huskmen = swarmkin = swarm gods, sorry for not making that clear. :)
Putting "god" in their name seemed a little over-the-top in hindsight and having swarm be part of the name is a bit too obvious, so I took a third route.
At the moment there isn't really more info on them here aside from the old stuff which you seem to remember disturbingly well (seriously, *I* can barely spell Tchekhryszebh) and a line or two on page one under "The Ilk".

I think I will go down the supernatural route then.
Here are some thoughts: they will be nature spirits of a sort (but not really, because my world doesn't have a spirit/fey world per se) and affect the world by accruing not material wealth, but material substance. So in a way, they are these poltergeisty presences, maybe still with a "heart-bug" at their center, rooting them in the world. Kill it and it dies. So they wander about, collecting stray matter - mostly twigs and insects, growing physically and mentally as well, as they assimilate the hundred minds and lives of the insects composing them.
True sentience requires them to acquire a certain "critical mass" of minds and that's why some live mindless lives as beggar-spirits, feeding on garbage and left-overs.

They would typically be very heterogenous, especially since they have to keep the insects originally composing them alive or risk losing memories. But some of the more intelligent ones might delicately reassemble themselves or some creatures might form spontaneously out of natural swarms. Some of the higher ranking courtiers (or maybe even concubines) might be formed entirely out of butterflies and polished slivers of ivory.  

Depending on their individual level of power there'd be limits to how many things they could psychically assimilate. It requires part of their presence to absorb mind and matter alike, and absorbing too many bodies might dilute the mind. I could see an enraged huskmen gobbling up an entire swarm of locusts, losing himself in their simple minds, sacrificing mental power for physical power. Half-insane huskman behemoth-swarms.  

Historically, I think there was once a time when they could dominate... bigger things. Humans for instance. Or at least influence them. They could have been these truly fearsome mob-spirits once. Somehow their strength has diminished, though. Maybe they simply forgot the old secrets, as they are prone to.
I think that huskmen would be the closest thing one could get to playing a "psionic character" (don't read too much into the p-word - I'm not thinking crystals and tattoos and ectoplasm and all that) who could gradually become better at psychokinesis and telepathy.  

The question of whether they can fly has been bothering me since day one... Wearing clothing and so on would of course be a major hindrance, but assuming they are in pure swarm form I think they should be able to fly short distances, especially if aided by a degree of inherent psychokinesis. Maybe that kind of disassembly poses a certain risk of "disassimilation" for them, though. They might lose part of themselves in the journey. The huskmen who have lost themselves in a swarm, as mentioned above, might be able to fly just as well as their constituents.

EDIT: wow, this posted turned out longer than I thought it would. Just wanted to say, the idea of huskmen clans has me intrigued! Maybe simply because I like the sound of it :D

Everything about the huskmen so far is great, but I would keep them as singular, unique creatures instead of having clans. Considering each huskman is composed of a different combination of insects and vermin, having like-minded huskmen seems like a stretch.

I think that the less you write about huskmen, the better. That sounds somewhat counter-productive, but I feel like the huskmen are absolute mysteries to the humans of BV, and I think that explaining them too much takes away from some of their strangeness and mystique.

The clans might be based less on family and composition and more on ideology or religious interpretation. Being semi-immortal creatures living at the apex of society I could imagine them gathering in alien pseudo-political parties or secret societies.

I completely understand what you are getting at, though! The only trouble is that I have to describe them adequately so that players and DMs can use them, play them, and develop them as a faction/enemy/ally in the game, so I can't keep them a complete mystery. But I can keep their exact nature and origins mysterious, while detailing the way they work and think.

I'm a bit afraid they'll overlap too much with the Urmannanganal (the giant unkillable 5th race) on the reverence point though, although the Urm have a far more passive role. Being semi-narcoleptic aimless wanderers (the Urmannanganal) they sometimes pass through towns which is seen as an auspicious omen. People greet them and cover them with flower garlands and amulets. In the cities they are treated more normally, being a less uncommon sight. At least that is the idea I had for them. Seemed appropriate.

This post is part inquiry, part shameless bump.
What would people like to hear more about?

(I had an epiphany the other day when I realized I could call the geistworkers Authors. Then I remembered how much I love the word thaumaturge. Now I am torn.)

Maybe something about the opposing forces within Broken Verge? Politically, religiously, magically, etc. Who is the liberal wing of Kolyaev that opposes the old Imperial faction? Who are the people with, do they even care?

Desperaly desire more. Prefer 'Authors' to thaumaturege, preserve that word for some other thing you craft with love. Also want to see Kolyeavi politics outlined.