The Campaign Builder's Guild

This is officially the discussion thread.

Please view the website at Colabore.org (http://www.colabore.org).

Quite aleborated, huh? interesting n_n, What did you use to make the map? o_o I want a map like that.

Photoshop elements - the $49.99 version of photoshop.  It makes it harder to do fun things with, but it's still all possible.

I had a bit of trouble with your world because I normally look for an "intro" section and was unable to find one for Aldreia. "Overview" turned out to be more along the lines of a glossary. At this point, I still don't know the general themes, tones and concepts for the world. I can see that the website is largely focused on personal notes at this point (A fine use of webspace), but at least a little bit of text for the unenlightened would be nice. :)

Since I read races first, I'll review the first race I read:

Aedin
Do Aedin look like stone drow? The description segment seems a bit lacking.
Might want to move the traits, or at least make an "Abilities/Powers" section. Knowing about the stone-shift power would be good when reading about their architecture.
Example Names?
Why do they hate the elves?
Why is the history the last thing presented? I feel it explains a lot about the nature of the Aedin that would be helpful when reading the earlier sections.

You mention Lagora and Vynars, but I can't find anything on them.

Writing an introduction to Aldreia is something I've been struggling with for a while.  The ultimate goal of the world is to be amazingly DivSet, make full usage of the D&D rules, and be both complex and realistic.  I realize that those worlds already exist in Faerun and Oerth, but I want to create a world on the same calibur as those and then some.  Arguably I am aiming to have the largest DivSet world available.

The aedin is something I need to revamp a bit.  The information I have on the site does not explain them well at all.  They have only one nation, Jauldiroth, and it is something I want to explore more soon.  I believe that in building Jauldiroth I will better come to understand the aedin and what they do.  

They appear very similar to what you would term "stone drow."  They were molded upon creation to take on that appearence.  They hate all elves except raven elves (my version of the drow) because that is what they are told to do - they were taught by the god of the raven elves so it is bred into them.  

The history is last because it is amazingly long.  I believe that once I rewrite the first section, the ecology section, the aedin will be understood without having to resort to the history.  The same is true of Jauldiroth.

I dislike example names.  I did away with that line; however, I have what I had previously used.

First Names: Azerogth, Begokth, Borottar, Caldrikth, Dorikogth, Gargonkve, Lharbrinth, Tharkvuth, Vyerogk
 
Family Names: Borjiris, Jhuldoth, Nolyinth, Rargyrmisht Skanigitth, Xiktargu

The vynars are a subrace of ogres and found under that section.  The lagora are a subrace of human and under that section.  The lagora, however, are going to be COMPLETELY redone.  My friend helped me create them and I was overwhelmed by how interesting and cool and culturally unique they were.  And then I discovered that the lagora were exactly like trolls from Warcraft.  Needless to say the idea is going to be revamped.

The site really isn't so much for personal notes, it just appears that way since I'm (1) in the process of creating it (began a week or two ago) and (2) have a hard time organizing the information into a user-friendly system simply due to the way I've created my world.  The lack of an underlying theme or two has hurt that, a lot.  But I digress.

Impressive website.  I like the world in the center graphic.  

Quote from: JharvissWriting an introduction to Aldreia is something I've been struggling with for a while.

The ultimate goal of the world is to be amazingly DivSet, make full usage of the D&D rules, and be both complex and realistic.[/quote]
I think realistic and D&D are not compatible terms...But best of luck with that.  I would say, perhaps, that the D&D fluff could be expanded upon to create a believable world.  The rules, however, are not really geared towards realism, they're geared towards cinamatics and game balance.

It is ambitious to try to create a world larger than Toril (Faerun), which has evolved over decades with input from dozens of authors.  However, I am hardly one to discourage anyone from setting ambitious goals.

As for organization, I'd recommend having a pretty good idea how to lay out your setting before starting.  But since you've already created so, much, it might be too late.  You can help avoid the confusing feel by having terms (like those subraces) link to their respective sections.

I'm very happy with the basic layout of my world.  It is organized just as I world organize the chapters of a book.  But, honestly, I would imagine that it gives off the same feeling as sitting down and trying to learn about Toril - where do you start?  The same is true with a lot of DivSet worlds.  

I've always enjoyed large goals.  If you reach for the stars the worst that can happen is you fall short to the moon.

But you make a good point, Phoenix Knight - the D&D rules are not geared toward creating a realistic world.  That said, I am trying to create a world that uses the rules realistically.  I am working to build a world where it makes sense that magic is fragmented so many times and creatures can exist at the same time as the human race with logical reason.  I want to make D&D work.  (Because I know it does, I just haven't seen it proven.)

I've added an introduction page to my site.  At the moment it's very basic and won't help you much, but I plan on talking a little bit about every original piece of Aldreia there: elementium & rituals, various races (aedin, vynars, bloodgoblins, river naga, the evolved [something else I really need to get up there, as it's one of my worlds more interesting elements]), the division of deities, the way the cosmology is laid out, the concentration on oceans (which hasn't gone far), and anything else that strikes my fancy.

Also, I've posted three things to these forums that are from my world; I'll link them here.

The Soul Merchant Template (http://www.thecbg.org/e107_plugins/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?24154)

Elementium & Rituals (http://www.thecbg.org/e107_plugins/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?24129)

The Masked Mage PrC (http://www.thecbg.org/e107_plugins/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?23425)

Just a typo: "slaveless kobolds are very resistance to charms."

I read over the river naga. They're pretty solid, though I might add a minor weakness (such as not being able to wear certain armors). Be sure to list which natural attack is primary because the other gets a -5 (unless they reduce it to -2 with multiattack).

Nice intro, I got an image in my mind's eye of someone walking out of their small, humble home and seeing a vast sky and neverending expanse of rolling hills, each with it's own story.

I'd add some "here's one place where you might start" links. One of the hard things, is unlicke the spiderweb of wikipedia, you can rarely branch out to other facets of the world within a given article. I'd suggest following Phoenix's example and adding more hyperlinks to your descriptions. :)

Another typo: "Ogre mages are the greatest of the ogres, being skills in magic, a thing that almost no normal ogre can ever hope of studying, and with great strength."

You do know that ogre mages are an entirely different race, right? Blue skin and all that.

Vynar stats seem a bet too powerful to me. I'd give them a significant weakness or a minor bonus and a 2 LA. Large size is a big boon, what with the reach and large weapons. Also consider what 2 Racial HD would do for it (not that I suggest it).

Quote from: RaelifinJust a typo: "slaveless kobolds are very resistance to charms."

That's a double typo - They aren't called slaveless kobolds anymore, now they're freewill kobolds.  Thanks for catching it!  (I love error discovery.)  I fixed both the kobold one and the ogre entries.  Yes I realize the ogre mages are a different race, and in my world they have a third eye (mythologically, the ogre magi had three eyes).  

I've updated the introduction, and now there are some links in it to other places.  I'll be adding more links into the intro as I get more pages on my site.

You're the second source to tell me the vynars are too powerful.  Their statistics, however, are based entirely on the half-ogre race in the Savage Species book, which also have a +1 LA, and then the vynars are weakened even further.  I may bring down some of the ability score adjustments (possibly removing the -2 Int and reducing the +4 Str to a +2).  But yes, I understand what you're getting at, large size is very useful.

Reading over the aedin depressed me.  I have so much in my head for them but so much unrealized.  Hence I've begun working on them.  This is their nation.

Jauldiroth
Ruler: Calditrot Rilgokth of the Illidar
Government: Oligarchy with a dictatorship by the strongest recognized oligarch
Cities and Towns of Note: Biklogoth Valley (SC), Haurato (LC), Raven Refuge (SC), Toxin (LT), Ulairgon (M)
Main Resources: Base metals
Races: Aedin 59%, Dwarf 14%, Goblin 8%, Human 7%, Raven Elf 6%, Lagora 2%, Ogre 2%, Gnome 1%, Other 1%
Allies: Aelthiur, Korianthis
Enemies: Diemeria, Voxx Mountains, Vynar

Jauldiroth is the sole nation of the aedin (http://www.colabore.org/aedin), its borders stretching from one edge of the Wethren Mountains to the other.  While located in the center of Caerden, due to the nature of its inhabitants, the aedin, most travelers are more than willing to add a couple days to their journey in order to go around Jauldiroth.  Once known as Korandor the Blessed, the Wethren Mountains originally hosted a nation of dwarves.  At the end of the Aeon of Black Ice the dwarves left Korandor, moving to Liguaria.  Only a few dwarves remained.

Two thousand years later a cult dedicated to the dark god, Dyaramis, helped to create the aedin.  Their leader, a raven elf named Ulairgon, assisted Aedirok and Aedirog, two creatures of immense power, in the creation, and he eventually fell in love with Aedirok, the female of the pair.  Time passed and Ulairgon died, though his name would life forever as the name of the capital of Jauldiroth.  In AoCD 2,829, the aedin fragmented and went to war.  Aedirok clashed with Aedirog.  Two-hundred years later Aedirok proved victorious over Aedirog through casting a great ritual that absorbed Aedirog's essence, granting Aedirok divine power.  

Aedirok now lives as the goddess of the aedin, being worshipped above all other deities.  Regardless, Dyaramis retains a huge influence among the aedin.  Other commonly worshipped deities include Ziem, Jayro-tiin, Korik, and the majority of the pantheon of sin.  The pantheon of strife is largely ignored by the aedin, being the pantheon almost directly opposed to the pantheon of sin.

The aedin are seperated into four clans, each one virtually equal in statis to the others, but each one known for different things.  The Illidar clan is known for its spellcasters, both divine and arcane.  Its members tend to be the most intelligent and diplomatic, often being the ones that represent Jauldiroth in foreign nations.  The Zanarkogth are well organized and militaristic, being both the most honorable and the most deadly.  Unfortunately for outsiders, the Zanarkogth see no dishonor in taking to the shadows and striking when the opportunity is most available.  The Jalidargth clan is comprised mostly of experts and craftsman, making the economy survive and keeping the nation alive.  The final clan, the only clan that is considered below the other three clans, is the Hauratok clan, one known for its savagery and crude behavior.  The Hauratok clan was the followers of Aedirog in the civil war and is only allowed to continue on due to the grace of the other three clans.  The Hauratok clan, nonetheless, has lost most of the prejudice against it in the past centuries.

The aedin's government is a fluid one, constantly under strain of collapse but always changing.  At its most basic level, the government of Jauldiroth is an oligarchy.  The nobles that rule Jauldiroth, however, subject to few regulations.  Furthermore, virtually anybody with enough power and influence can consider themselves noble and therefore make diplomatic decisions.  The leader of the oligarchy is an aedin named Calditrot Rilgokth, hailing from the Illidar clan.  His control will remain until he is either killed or the aedin recognize somebody else as being more powerful.  In many ways power is largely informal.

Jauldiroth was unheard of in the political realm until it was discovered during the First Aelthiurian War.  Only about three hundred years ago, during the Second Aelthiurian War, did the world begin to recognize the aedin as a real and terrible threat.  By then it was too late.

Internationally Jauldiroth has more foes than friends.  It has recently been in open warfare with Vynar, though the vynars are generally pacifistic.  While Jauldiroth is not really willing to retreat, the two nations have signed a treaty that ensures the aedin will not attack the vynar's capital city directly, for the vynar's capital is right on the edge of the Wethren Mountains, a fact that terrified the vynars.  Jauldiroth was at open war with Diemeria for a time, though that has abated slightly.  It has also recently called a truce with Pervicax--this was done, of course, only after having removed the dwarves entirely from Jauldiroth.  While Jauldiroth is not truly at war with the Voxx Mountains, it supports Korianthis's war against the Voxx Mountains and  lends assistance to Korianthis, specifically the Urokem family.

(http://www.colabore.org/Jauldiroth.gif)

[ic=Introduction]I would love a review on this race, the evolved.  This is the animal races of Aldreia.  I worked hard to avoid that furry-happy, anime-style living-walking-talking-killing animal syndrome.  While they aren't expressed very fully, I'm also a bit worried about how balanced they are.  Let me know, and thanks![/ic]

The Evolved[/u]
After the civilized races successfully destroyed Kyurr, the goddess of nature, Odala, and brought the Mistress of Magic's laws upon them, several gods and goddess of nature formed together and decided that Kyurr needed to be protected as the land replinished itself.  Kern, the god of preservation, was assisted by Caxan, god of balance, and Eldrin, goddess of life, in his endeavor.  In a temple lost in the Protect Lands of Kyurr, Kern gave several animals sentience, each one becoming a race.  Eight races were created, each one from a different animal and each one unique.  These races now hold complete sway over Kyurr, only allowing a couple foreign settlements on their continent at the discretion of the varying nations the evolved have formed.

Bakula
The bakula represent large porcupines that stand on their back legs.  They are gruff and stubborn creatures covered in long quills.  While they are about eye level with dwarves, their quills, which go up well over their head, make them appear much taller, as well as wider.  Their skin is dark, a rough gray, and they have very little hair, though it is normally dark.  They live in plains, often building very defensive settlements.  While not warlike, the bakula are always ready for an attack.  They see themselves as the big brothers of the rest of the evolved, caring for them until they need to be scolded.

Bakula Racial Traits
- +2 Constitution, -2 Charisma: The bakula are tough little creatures, but they have trouble getting along with others, coming across as blunt and defensive.
- Medium: As medium creatures, bakula have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
- Bakula base land speed is 20 feet.  
- +1 natural armor bonus: The bakula's quills and tough skin combine to make it a hard to injure combatant.
- Quilled: Everytime a creature makes a touch attack or melee attack against a bakula and they are within five feet of the bakula (a melee attack with a longspear, for example, is not subject), the bakula may forgo an attack of opportunity in order to attack with its quills.  Each quill deals 1d4 damage.  If unarmed, the bakula may also remove a quill and use it as a weapon.  All bakula are considered proficient with their quills.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Bakul. Bonus Languages: Gnoll, Karth, Rhimeren, Sakrahn, Tildar, and Ugren.
- Favored Class: Fighter. A bakulaâ,¬,,¢s fighter class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, bakula are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.

Doro
A highly reclusive race, the small evolved race of doro inhabit the mountains central to Kyurr.  About the size of a gnome, the doro is coated in dark brown fur and has the face of a mole.  They have small arms and legs and thin eyes.  While unsocial, they are an intelligent race and make a fine living for themselves and their society.  Doro talk little, have simple societies, and live a simple live.  

Personality
Doro, as a people, are slow and steady, but not terrible out-going.  They fail to take very well to others at first, but once you get to know them, they will respect you forever.  This is in part because they do not have very much contact with other races and are therefore naturally somewhat skeptic to the strange tendencies of outsiders.  Doro are quite content to live out their lives in near solitude deep underground, living off of insects and the few fungi they can find at their depths.  In the few large societies the doro live, they all live quiet lives with little true interaction.  However, many races mistake the simplicity of the doro for complicity, often underestimating their intellect.  Many doro spend their entire lives dedicated to learning or bettering themselves.  Dedication is a major part of a doroâ,¬,,¢s life.

Physical Description
Doro are small, barely above three feet on average, weighing a bit below 50 pounds.  Males and females often appear the same.  Hair covers the entirety of their body except for their long snout, which protrudes from their face.  Their eyes are slits, very small to ensure that when digging dirt does not get in them.  Their ears are also quite miniscule.  The girth of the doro vary widely, some being thin and wide, others simply being wide.

Relations
The doro tend not to interact to heavily with other races and this has caused them to lack strong ties with many fellow evolved.  The sakrahn and bakula are often befriend doro, but the doro act quite passively toward any other races they encounter.  Doro would likely get along quite well with dwarves and rock gnomes.

Alignment
Doro have strong ties to neutrality.  They retain a passive attitude toward most things as long as they are living a peaceful life.

Doro Lands
Doro live mostly solitary lives underground, often deep under hills or mountains.  Sometimes they will live under sparse forests, where insects and other foods are more plentiful.  Doro tunnels tend to be cramped and hard to move through to other races, and doro townships are often claustrophobic.  

Religion
The doro have a small amount of very dedicated clergy, mostly to gods such as Bandor or the various gods and goddesses of the earth.  Religion tends to play a small part in most dorosâ,¬,,¢ lives.

Language
The doro have a basic language, called ugren, they use to communicate with.  The language has the complexities necessary to experience the full range of conversations, allowing scholarly doro to effectively express their information.  However, while all doro understand the full extent of ugren, many doro rarely have any need to use it.

Doro Racial Traits
- +2 Constitution, +2 Wisdom, -2 Charisma:  Doro are an enduring creature, both in mind and in body.  They prefer to sit back and watch rather than take action, but this habit has hurt their social tendencies.  
- Small: As a Small creature, a doro gains a +1 size bonus to Armor Class, a +1 size bonus on attack rolls, and a +4 size bonus on Hide checks, but he uses smaller weapons than humans use, and his lifting and carrying limits are three-quarters of those of a Medium character.
- Doro base land speed is 20 feet.
- Doro have a burrow speed of 20 feet.
- Darkvision: Doro can see in the dark up to 30 feet.  Darkvision is black and white only, but is otherwise like normal sight, and doro can function just fine with no light at all.
- Tremorsense: Doro have tremorsense with a radius of 10 feet.
- -4 racial penalty to spot checks: the doroâ,¬,,¢s slit-like eyes make it hard for them to see well.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Ugren. Bonus Languages: Bakul, Rhimeren, Sakrahn, and Tildar.
- Favored Class: Druid. A doroâ,¬,,¢s druid class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Level Adjustment +1: Doro act as one level higher than their class levels.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, doro are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.

Gnolls
Gnolls are the darkest and most savage race of the evolved, often being universally despised by the rest of the evolved.  Tall, covered in earth-colored fur, and being likened to a hyena quite often, gnolls are known for their heinous laughter that is akin to mirthful screams.  The gnolls are one of the two evolved races that have left Kyurr, the karthen being the others.  Gnolls are now known worldwide and often in the same light as the evolved.  Gnolls and karthen are deep-blooded enemies, fighting each other tooth and claw at every step.

- +4 Strength, +2 Constitution, -2 Intelligence, -2 Charisma: Gnolls lack wit and insight but often make up for it through sheer physical power.
- Medium: As medium creatures, gnolls have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
- A gnollâ,¬,,¢s base land speed is 40 feet.
- Darkvision: Gnolls can see in the dark up to 60 feet. Darkvision is black and white only, but it is otherwise like normal sight, and gnolls can function just fine with no light at all.
- +1 natural armor bonus: Gnolls have thick hides resistant to blows.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Gnoll. Bonus Languages: Bakul, Elven, Goblin, Karth, Orc, and Tildar.
- Favored Class: Ranger. A gnollâ,¬,,¢s ranger class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Level Adjustment +1: Gnolls act as one level higher than their class levels.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, gnolls are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.

Karthen
Karthen are humanoid creatures which appear to be a cross between a wolf or fox and a human. They are about the height of elves, with fox-shaped heads and their bodies are covered in fur. Their fur is often tan, red, brown, gray, or black and white. Karthen typically have dark brown eyes, but lighter brown and blue eyes can be found.  Each karthen has a tail.  Above all, karthen are social creatures.  They enjoy getting along with other creatures, but are often considered whimsical and cheeky.  They are highly civilized, often relating themselves well with elves, and enjoy the arcane arts more than any other evolved race.

Karthen Racial Traits
- +2 Charisma, -2 Wisdom. Karthen have a large force of personality, but are quick to act with and rely heavily on their emotions.
- Medium: As medium creatures, karthen have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
- Karthen base speed is 30 feet, but when on all fours they can move at a speed of 40 feet.
- +2 racial bonus to jump checks. Karthen are excellent jumpers, being able to leap much higher then others.
- Falling Reflexes. Karthen ignore 1d6 points of falling damage when falling, due to their quick reflexes.
- Limited Scent: Karthen gain the scent ability except it only works at half the normal distance.  Karthen cannot pinpoint the location of a hidden person, only know of its presense.
- +2 racial bonus on listen checks. Karth can hear slight sounds easily.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Karthen. Bonus Languages: Bakul, Elven, Gnoll, Halfling, Rhimeren, Sakrahn, and Tildar.
- Favored Class: Sorcerer. A karthenâ,¬,,¢s sorcerer class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, karthen are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.

Opathi
The largest of the evolved are the opathi, a race that appears to have come from bison.  The males have short curved horns, and all opathi have a long snout, a dark mane and normally brown fur covers their bodies.  The opathi are a very calm race known for their endless patience.  They are commonly mediators for the other races, very slowly taking sides.  Once they have chosen a side, however, they are very stubborn and slow in changing their minds.  

Opathi Racial Traits
- +4 Strength, +2 Constituon: The opathi are exceptionally strong and tough.
- Large: As large creatures, opathi gain a +1 bonus to melee attacks and a -1 penalty to their armor class.  The opathi also have a reach of 10 feet.
- Opathi base land speed is 30 feet.
- Toughness: Opathi gain the toughness feat for free.
- +4 Concentration: Opathi, in their resilience, are able to keep focused easily and for long periods of time.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Rhimeren. Bonus Languages: Bakul, Gnoll, Karthen, Sakrahn, Tildar, and Ugren.
- Favored Class: Ranger. An opathiâ,¬,,¢s ranger class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Level Adjustment +2: Opathis act as two levels higher than their class levels.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, opathi are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.

Sakrahn
The sakrahn are a winged race, covered in colorful feathers ranging from reds to yellows to blues.  Their hands are at the end of their wings, their various limbs very long though their bodies are short.  They dislike armor and restrictive clothing, prefering vibrant colors in everything they wear.  The sakrahn live in high areas and are very sociable with other evolved.  As a society they believe in equality and believing in people based on their merits.

Sakrahn Racial Traits
- +2 Dexterity, +2 Charisma, -2 Strength, -2 Wisdom: The sakrahn are easy to get along with and fast to act, but their bodies do not have the physical prowess of other races.  
- Medium: As medium creatures, sakrahn have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
- Sakrahn base land speed is 30 feet.
- Sakrahn fly speed is 40 feet with good maneuverability.
- +4 spot: Sakrahn have a +4 racial bonus on spot checks.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Sakrahn. Bonus Languages: Bakul, Gnoll, Karthen, Rhimeren, Tildar, and Ugren.
- Favored Class: Rogue. A sakrahn's rogue class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Level Adjustment +1: A sakrahn act as one level higher than their class levels.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, sakrahn are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.

Tildar
The tildar are jaguars evolved into a race akin to men.  They are a tall and strong race, noble in their tribalism.  The tildar are very close to nature, possibly the closest of any of the tildar, and violently protect nature and the Protected Lands.  They prefer to live in tribes and move as need be.  All tildar are trained for war, each knowing how to hunt and protect themselves.  They are very civil and respectful yet easily provoked.  

Tildar Racial Traits
- +2 Strength, +4 Dexterity: Tildar are quite fast, their reflexes being enormous.  They are strong as well, tearing into foes verociously.
- Medium: As medium creatures, tildar have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
- Tildar base speed is 40 feet.
- Claw Attack: The tildar have two claw attacks that deal 1d6 damage each.  
- Low-Light Vision: A tildar can see twice as far as a human in starlight, moonlight, torchlight, and similar conditions of poor illumination. He retains the ability to distinguish color and detail under these conditions.
- +4 racial bonus on jump, move silently, hide, balance, and climb checks: the tildar move and act with feline grace.
- Alertness: Tildar gain the alertness feat for free.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Tildar. Bonus Languages: Bakul, Gnoll, Karthen, Rhimeren, Sakrahn, and Ugren.
- Favored Class: Ranger. A tildar's ranger class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Level Adjustment +1: A tildar act as one level higher than their class levels.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, tildar are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.

Zuezela
The zuezela are thin and bony, looking much like antelope that can't decide whether they wish to stand on four legs or two.  The zuezelas are a flitty and fast-talking people, prefering to stay active at all times.  They tend to have a reddish fur, sometimes lightly spotted.  Zuezelas are very friendly, always believing the best in those they meet, and, some claim, make friends almost too easily.  They claim little and give excessively, trying to burden others as little as possible.  They move elsewhere everyday, rarely choosing a single place as a home.  On occassion a zuezela, male or female, is born with great horns, and these zuezelas are prophesized to do great things with their lives.

Zuezela Racial Traits
- +2 Dexterity, -2 Constitution: zuezelas are fast but lack fortitude.
- Medium: As medium creatures, zuezelas have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
- Zuezela base speed is 30 feet, but when on all fours they can move at a speed of 40 feet.
- Hard to hit: Zuezelas have a +6 racial bonus to dexterity for the purpose of calculating armor class.  This replaces their normal racial dexterity bonus.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Rhimeren. Bonus Languages: Bakul, Gnoll, Karthen, Sakrahn, Tildar, and Ugren.
- Favored Class: Bard. A zuezela's bard class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, zuezelas are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.

[spoiler]Bakula Racial Traits
- +2 Constitution, -2 Charisma: The bakula are tough little creatures, but they have trouble getting along with others, coming across as blunt and defensive.
- Medium: As medium creatures, bakula have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
- Bakula base land speed is 20 feet.  
- +1 natural armor bonus: The bakula's quills and tough skin combine to make it a hard to injure combatant.
- Quilled: Everytime a creature makes a touch attack or melee attack against a bakula and they are within five feet of the bakula (a melee attack with a longspear, for example, is not subject), the bakula may forgo an attack of opportunity in order to attack with its quills.  Each quill deals 1d4 damage.  If unarmed, the bakula may also remove a quill and use it as a weapon.  All bakula are considered proficient with their quills.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Bakul. Bonus Languages: Gnoll, Karth, Rhimeren, Sakrahn, Tildar, and Ugren.
- Favored Class: Fighter. A bakulaâ,¬,,¢s fighter class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, bakula are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.[/spoiler] The Quilled ability is confusing. I'd change it to:
- Quilled: Bakula have a natural attack with their quills that deals 1d4 piercing damage. In addition, whenever a creature attacks a bakula in melee they provoke an attack of opportunity from the bakula in which only the bakula's quill attack may be used. Spears and other polearms bypass this ability.

Their balance is questionable, much like 3.5 dwarves. I'd say that if you are playing with core dwarves, these guys are fine.

[spoiler]Doro Racial Traits
- +2 Constitution, +2 Wisdom, -2 Charisma:  Doro are an enduring creature, both in mind and in body.  They prefer to sit back and watch rather than take action, but this habit has hurt their social tendencies.  
- Small: As a Small creature, a doro gains a +1 size bonus to Armor Class, a +1 size bonus on attack rolls, and a +4 size bonus on Hide checks, but he uses smaller weapons than humans use, and his lifting and carrying limits are three-quarters of those of a Medium character.
- Doro base land speed is 20 feet.
- Doro have a burrow speed of 20 feet.
- Darkvision: Doro can see in the dark up to 30 feet.  Darkvision is black and white only, but is otherwise like normal sight, and doro can function just fine with no light at all.
- Tremorsense: Doro have tremorsense with a radius of 10 feet.
- -4 racial penalty to spot checks: the doroâ,¬,,¢s slit-like eyes make it hard for them to see well.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Ugren. Bonus Languages: Bakul, Rhimeren, Sakrahn, and Tildar.
- Favored Class: Druid. A doroâ,¬,,¢s druid class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Level Adjustment +1: Doro act as one level higher than their class levels.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, doro are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.[/spoiler]Moleman, away! Nice job balancing this race. I like.

[spoiler]Gnoll Racial Traits
- +4 Strength, +2 Constitution, -2 Intelligence, -2 Charisma: Gnolls lack wit and insight but often make up for it through sheer physical power.
- Medium: As medium creatures, gnolls have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
- A gnollâ,¬,,¢s base land speed is 40 feet.
- Darkvision: Gnolls can see in the dark up to 60 feet. Darkvision is black and white only, but it is otherwise like normal sight, and gnolls can function just fine with no light at all.
- +1 natural armor bonus: Gnolls have thick hides resistant to blows.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Gnoll. Bonus Languages: Bakul, Elven, Goblin, Karth, Orc, and Tildar.
- Favored Class: Ranger. A gnollâ,¬,,¢s ranger class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Level Adjustment +1: Gnolls act as one level higher than their class levels.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, gnolls are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.[/spoiler] Balanced.

[spoiler]Karthen Racial Traits
- +2 Charisma, -2 Wisdom. Karthen have a large force of personality, but are quick to act with and rely heavily on their emotions.
- Medium: As medium creatures, karthen have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
- Karthen base speed is 30 feet, but when on all fours they can move at a speed of 40 feet.
- +2 racial bonus to jump checks. Karthen are excellent jumpers, being able to leap much higher then others.
- Falling Reflexes. Karthen ignore 1d6 points of falling damage when falling, due to their quick reflexes.
- Limited Scent: Karthen gain the scent ability except it only works at half the normal distance.  Karthen cannot pinpoint the location of a hidden person, only know of its presense.
- +2 racial bonus on listen checks. Karth can hear slight sounds easily.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Karthen. Bonus Languages: Bakul, Elven, Gnoll, Halfling, Rhimeren, Sakrahn, and Tildar.
- Favored Class: Sorcerer. A karthenâ,¬,,¢s sorcerer class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, karthen are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.[/spoiler] Some would argue that a +2 Cha and a favored class: sorcerer make this unbalanced. I would not, but I recommend you look into their logic. (I think the WotC boards have something on it)

[spoiler]Opathi Racial Traits
- +4 Strength, +2 Constituon: The opathi are exceptionally strong and tough.
- Large: As large creatures, opathi gain a +1 bonus to melee attacks and a -1 penalty to their armor class.  The opathi also have a reach of 10 feet.
- Opathi base land speed is 30 feet.
- Toughness: Opathi gain the toughness feat for free.
- +4 Concentration: Opathi, in their resilience, are able to keep focused easily and for long periods of time.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Rhimeren. Bonus Languages: Bakul, Gnoll, Karthen, Sakrahn, Tildar, and Ugren.
- Favored Class: Ranger. An opathiâ,¬,,¢s ranger class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Level Adjustment +2: Opathis act as two levels higher than their class levels.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, opathi are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.[/spoiler] These guys look too weak to me. Maybe the endurance feat and a couple bonuses to social/mental skills? Remember that they're giving up TWO levels of a class to get these features.

[spoiler]Sakrahn Racial Traits
- +2 Dexterity, +2 Charisma, -2 Strength, -2 Wisdom: The sakrahn are easy to get along with and fast to act, but their bodies do not have the physical prowess of other races.  
- Medium: As medium creatures, sakrahn have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
- Sakrahn base land speed is 30 feet.
- Sakrahn fly speed is 40 feet with good maneuverability.
- +4 spot: Sakrahn have a +4 racial bonus on spot checks.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Sakrahn. Bonus Languages: Bakul, Gnoll, Karthen, Rhimeren, Tildar, and Ugren.
- Favored Class: Rogue. A sakrahn's rogue class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Level Adjustment +1: A sakrahn act as one level higher than their class levels.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, sakrahn are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.[/spoiler] Note that they may not use their arms while flying. That's a biggie. I'm not sure on the balance... it looks fairly good.

[spoiler]Tildar Racial Traits
- +2 Strength, +4 Dexterity: Tildar are quite fast, their reflexes being enormous.  They are strong as well, tearing into foes verociously.
- Medium: As medium creatures, tildar have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
- Tildar base speed is 40 feet.
- Claw Attack: The tildar have two claw attacks that deal 1d6 damage each.  
- Low-Light Vision: A tildar can see twice as far as a human in starlight, moonlight, torchlight, and similar conditions of poor illumination. He retains the ability to distinguish color and detail under these conditions.
- +4 racial bonus on jump, move silently, hide, balance, and climb checks: the tildar move and act with feline grace.
- Alertness: Tildar gain the alertness feat for free.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Tildar. Bonus Languages: Bakul, Gnoll, Karthen, Rhimeren, Sakrahn, and Ugren.
- Favored Class: Ranger. A tildar's ranger class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Level Adjustment +1: A tildar act as one level higher than their class levels.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, tildar are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.[/spoiler] Aside from cringing at the use of "enormous" in the description of their reflexes... let's see.
The claws are huge! They deal shortsword damage! I'm not sure about the balance, but the realism is a bit wacky.
I'd up the LA to +2. They get a total +20 to a lot of good skills, bonuses to strength and dex without penalties, increased speed, built-in ambidextrous short-swords ;) and a bonus feat. A level 1 Tildar could have a +17 hide and move silently... eesh!

[spoiler]Zuezela Racial Traits
- +2 Dexterity, -2 Constitution: zuezelas are fast but lack fortitude.
- Medium: As medium creatures, zuezelas have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
- Zuezela base speed is 30 feet, but when on all fours they can move at a speed of 40 feet.
- Hard to hit: Zuezelas have a +6 racial bonus to dexterity for the purpose of calculating armor class.  This replaces their normal racial dexterity bonus.
- Automatic Languages: Common and Rhimeren. Bonus Languages: Bakul, Gnoll, Karthen, Sakrahn, Tildar, and Ugren.
- Favored Class: Bard. A zuezela's bard class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.
- Layer 3: As a layer three race, zuezelas are significantly different from core races and would add a decent amount of exotic flavor to a campaign or adventure.[/spoiler] The +2 dodge bonus to AC is well hidden on these guys. Just drop the whole "Hard to hit" name. :P
These guys are too weak. Compare them to elves.

It has more of a Gamma World feel than the standard furry stuff. I think that the key is that you have not made them just humans in funny suits. It has something of a dark ages ruled by the shaped feel to it.

By the way you mention that the doro "lead a simple live" and I am assuming this is a typo.

My only criticisms are the following:
1. The doro ought to perhaps have something to reflect their sharp claws and proportional strength, which they'd need for digging.

2. I've wondered at times why Gnolls don't bear resemblance in society to the hyenas they are named for. Hyenas are quite clever, have very well organized hunting bands and are matriarchal as well. It would be interesting (but not necessary if you prefer the description you have) to see this reflected in some way.

I'm sorry for seemingly ingoring most of your constructive criticism - with school starting it's been a very entertaining but unproductive past two weeks.  All of your suggestions and comments are quite right.  

Raelifin - Everything you said was dead on.  I could feel most of your commentary just writing those races out.  The tildar felt off but I couldn't quite figure out how.  I'll tone it down shortly and show you the revised copy.  I'm afraid if I take away too much they won't be worth the +1 LA.  On that note, the opathi also felt quite weak.  I very much like your ideas for them, and I believe the Endurance feat or something along those lines would be a perfect match.  The zuezela, for me, were a huge challenge.  I am virtually clueless as to how to make these guys work.  I'm going to need to rework them entirely.

Tybalt - I appreciate your comment on the doro.  My only issue with this is that if I give them much more they will become outrageously outbalanced.  I believe they are dancing precariously on the edge already.  I love your idea about the gnolls and will definately incorporate it.  The gnolls have often seemed quite bland to me and I was planning to spice them up a bit but I wasn't sure how to.  That's a good idea, very much so.

I would like to revamp the gnomes shortly.  They have become the ignored step-child of common fantasy now-a-days, always existing but never mattering.  I'm tired of that, especially because I much prefer gnomes over halflings.  I am thinking of dropping my forest and rock gnome varieties and just making a standard gnome (I started to do to gnomes what I am trying to avoid with elves, and that's make a ton of subraces).  I am also going to drop the tinker gnome.  I can still have gnomes be tinkerers in some parts of the world without having a seperate race for that.  Furthermore, I hate how much that intrudes on Warcraft and Dragonlance.  I'd rather have individuality.  I want to replace the tinker gnomes with a new, hopefully original type of gnome.  I'm not sure what yet, however.

What I have been working on in my free time the past week or two is an absolutely gigantic map of Caerden, my primary continent.  It covers and area roughly 10,000 by 5,000 miles.  While this is incomplete, clicking here (http://www.colabore.org/CaerdenModern.gif) will take you to the giant map (scaled down slightly because it was too big to be uploaded otherwise).  

So, normally I like to tackle one country at a time and really flesh them out and get them well cemented in my head.  This is a stupid as hell way of doing things, especially because I have stuff in my head for every country but I don't have anything down for most of them.  I didn't realize this until I started going through my archive the other day and realized I had nothing for most of them.  Stupid, as I said.  So I said down and in the course of an hour and a half I wrote down just a little bit about each nation.  Sometimes there will just be one sentence, sometimes there will be a full paragraph.  I skipped the nations I had already begun developing.  Here's a list.

Delorinthis
Delorinthis is a monarchy with a House of Ancestors acting as a oligarchy.  It's capital city, Raalaviss, was destroyed during the Second Aelthiurian War by a spell the Delorinthians originally cast to protect it and backfired.

Suil'anthrose
An elven run nation with equal amounts elf and human, the nation was formed by refugees fleeing or exiled from Delorinthis during the Second Aelthiurian War.  The nation's capital is Anndilur, and the nation is run by eleven Juries--levels of government with different responsibilities.  The nation was once mostly plains but is now covered in forests.

Haloun
The halfling nation of Haloun quickly learned that peace was not an option.  The capital, Haloun City, is highly defendable.  Otherwise the halflings prefer to stay mobile, sometimes forming small towns.  Haloun is a loose feudal aristocracy.

Karadine
This is a noble monarchy that chooses its king from a small council of nobles.  Karadine claims to be a very righteous and noble knightly kingdom, but fails in many regards.  Nonetheless it is very powerful.

Zelhost
Zelhost is a mostly human kingdom with a large population of centaurs.  It is ruled by the crazed King of Dogs who recently took the nation.  Once prosperous and united, it is now in ruins.  Many warlords struggle for local power.  The King of Dogs is a wizard that has existed for aeons.  He was a inadvertant player in making Zelhost a great nation.  The Scorch, a huge mark of fire damage across central Zelhost, was made several years ago but refuses to heal.  The Castle of Violet sits in the middle of the Scorch and homes the King.

Vehn
This is a swampy nation of river naga.  It is ruled by a colossal naga that does not move and actually has little physical power.  It appoints warlords to rule Vehn.  The capital city is Drelk, where the naga ruler, Lokruuk, lays.  Rivers are everywhere in Vehn, most of them unnaturally created.

Pervicax
This is the last dwarven stronghold in Caerden after being pushed out of the Wethren Mountains by the aedin.  The Diemerians, however, believe most of Pervicax is their land and claim it as such.  A war is now going between them.  Pervicax is ruled loosely by a couple dwarven "kings."

Diemeria
Diemeria is primarily rocky terrain and not befit to agriculture.  A lot of Diemerians are migraters.  Diemeria is ruled by the Reyes.  The land is known for its great spearmen.

Siddeodru
This nation is primarily gnomish with large amounts of fey.  They dislike the Diemerians though they will not war with them.  The gnomes fight against the ogres a lot, however.  Siddeodru is a close ally with Vynar.  Siddeodru is ruled by gnomish and fey druids and mages, known as the Siddeodru Court.

Ogren Islands
Split into northern and southern islands, Ulig and Voruuk respectively, the Ogren Islands are full of war and sparsely populated.  The Islands are ruled by clans, though the south, Voruuk, is slightly more civilized.

Paldorus
The people of Nimhyar found their nation crumbling and corrupt, so its prided knighthood, the Mithril Chain, seded from Nimhyar.  It is a pseudo-plutocracy but with explicit rules and a seperate military.  Its only ally is Khemli, and it has combated the closest ogren tribest to the point of extinction.

Khemli
Until recently Khemli was naother Ogren Island.  It recently entered the political arena.  It is mostly human but with a large ogre presense.  The ogres tend to be civilized.  Many half-ogres also live here.  It is ruled by a half-ogre warlord who is proving somewhat tyrannical but tends to do what is best for the country and its people.

Kortah
This gnoll nation is ruled by a good queen who is balancing peace and the gnolls' warlike nature.  Her and her peaceful rule isn't expected to servive much longer.

Voxx Mountains
The Voxx Mountains were created by magic many aeons ago. They are now full of many races all tryng to gain power.  Dwarves are the most common, but elves, orcs, fey, arrowtails, and several others also live here.

Terlund
This peaceful nation is a realm of halflings.  In many ways it is a theocracy, but the nation is slightly anarchic and stays alive primarily through trade and ambassadors who keep Terlund out of war.

Vedsel
This is now an elven monarchy that recently seded from Adoipa.

Theoris
This raven elf nation is rather secluded from other nations, resting on a large island.  Theoris has destroyed the savage tribes on their island and enslaved many such savages.  It is now a huge force in the oceans and enemy of Otahvy.  Theoris has no real ruler, only an arcane force that tends to have all the answers.  It homes in a well just norht of Kazique, the capital.

Dexando
Dexando is ripped with strife.  Both Otahvy and Theoris wish to claim it and both have many citizens on it.  Originally settled by Otahvians a century before, now Dexando wants its own independence.  As long as Theoris and Otahvy fight over Dexando, the goal of independence shall never be accomplished.

Spalda
While not a direct theocracy, Spalda is largely ruled by the priests of the Pantheon of Virtue.  A human nation, Spalda has warred with Cadravlant for years.  Spalda is counted as one of the least corrupt governments in Caerden.  The Consul-General, leader of the military, has a lot of war-time power granted to him.

Aly'ith Wastes
The wastes are ruled by a queen and are struggling to survive and be recognized as a real nation.  With a small population, terrible natural conditions, and a lot of virtually useless land, Aly'ith has little power.  Spalda and Cadravlant have turned southern Aly'ith into a battlefield.  Orcs and giants are not uncommon here, though unwanted.

Crale
Crale is ruled by a just and old king, wily, wise, and battle hardened.  He has set Crale as politically invincible by creating a close relationship with Aelthiur.  Sometimes called the 12th Province of Aelthiur, Crale breeds the cralan, a powerful flying steed.

Cadravlant
Cadravlant is known for war.  It is full of orcs, humans, ogres, and other savage races.  It is ruled by multiple warlords all trying to gain power.  Some fight themselves, some fight outside Cadravlant.  All recognize Cadravlant as their patron country.  Cadravlant once warred against Xinithdom, Tordryon, and Valloruse, but virtually stopped when they united as Aelthiur.  It primarily wars against Spalda now.

All right, it's now summer and I've had one helluva Spring semester.  I was able to complete virtually none of Aldreia during these past couple months, specifically because I was working on a very intensive campaign, writing a webcomic, and just developing my ability to use the English language.  This isn't an excuse, just a preface.  This summer is going to be about creative development, and Aldreia is not going to thrive.

I've been thinking about the world and decided that I no longer want to do such an overwhelming divset world.  I originally had some themes but they got destroyed in the hustle and bustle, so, now I'm doing some major overhauls.  

I am remanufacturing my races.  I will be eliminating orcs and placing all goblins and ogres into one large subracial hierarchy.  There will be several types of ogres and goblins, mind you, but no more orcs.  I'm also eliminating some other little races, such as the igurikor, river naga, and tinker gnomes.  The last two have been done to death and I'm too original to have such cliches, and the former lacked any realistic racial traits.  Kobolds are also going to get an upgrade--kobolds are one of my favorite races, and I despise the pitiful role they take in most worlds.  In Aldreia, they'll be one of the favorites.

The races overhaul is huge.  It will drastically effect the rest of the world.  From the races I hope to just start eliminating pointlessly complicated parts of the world.  I want to really tone down my pantheon, as it's a bit much, but I'm not sure where to start snipping.  

I'm going to create a large section on my site dedicated to explaining the pains and theories I hold when creating my world.  I will explain levels--how deities range from 35th to 50th level, planar lords from 20th-35th level, and mortals from 1st-20th level.  I will explain how law vs. chaos has taken a much more central role.  I will explain how magic works and stays balanced without destroying everything.  Theories.

I will also begin huge renovations on my ritual system.  This is something I believe will work, and it excites me, but it needs to be truly fleshed out.  We'll see what direction that takes as well.  It'll be a large undertaking.

Otherwise, we'll see where things take us.

Love,
Jharviss

Overhauling a big project is always a lot of work, but I'm usually happy I did in the end.  I wish you luck with this.  When you have some material on the revised Aldreia, we'd be happy to give it a look over.

Actually, I'm going to scratch a lot about what I just said.

The Troll has inspired me to take Colabore on a very different path.

I'll be updating it and will finish by Friday at the latest.

Would anybody mind looking over these guys?  I realized today that I rather like the race and would like them to be dandy before I start throwing them all over the world.

Lagora

The lagora were an unknown race until only a couple centuries time ago. None know how the lagora made it to the world or who created them. They are very similar to humans and often fit well with them, though lagora have a hard time adjusting to the upper echelons of human socieities.  They are an extremely hardy race.  Lagoras, known to be slightly eccentric, always push theirselves and those around them.  Their bodies show it - lagoras have, with few exceptions, bodies covered in scars from head to toe.

Lagoran settlements only exist in some of the most desolate and disastrous places in the world. They are found in deep ice caves, wearing nought but a loin cloth.  Other lagora choose to live within the confines of a volcano, wearing heavy coats as if tempting the fates to just try and hurt them.

Their bodies evolve at an amazing rate, a process that occurs because the lagoras genes change over the years. If a lagora's arm was slashed and scarred over, their child is likely to have thick skin around that arm.  If a lagora is forced to adapt to a terribly dry climate, their child will have skin that retains moisture more efficiently.  Lagora are fast products of their environment, and, because of this, each lagora is very different.  Lagoran tribes the world over rarely look anything alike.

Lagoras look like humans with a few small differences, the foremost being that their hands only have four fingers rather than five, and their fingers are larger than a human's.  Their teeth are carnal and they have twice as many canines as humans.  Unlike humans their eyes are never blue or green, but their common eye colors are that of orange, red, and brown.

Lagora Racial Traits
- +4 Constitution, -2 Wisdom, -2 Charisma: the lagoras are extremely tough, able to shake off tremendous blows, yet they do not have very capable minds.  They are impatient and ???hard to get along with.
- Medium: As Medium creatures, lagoras have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
- Largora base speed is 30 feet.
- Fast Healing: Lagoras regain one hit point per minute.  Fast healing does not restore hit points lost from starvation, thirst, or suffocation.
- Limb Regeneration: When a lagora loses a limb, his body slowly regenerates that limb.  A lost limb takes 1d6 months to fully regenerate.
- Languages: Common.  Bonus Languages: Any.
- Favored Class: Barbarian. A multiclass lagora â,¬,,¢s barbarian class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty for multiclassing.
- Level Adjustment +1 : Lagoras act as one level higher than their class levels.