Feel free post all comments, constructive criticisms and observations about my campaign setting; Ladrona, in this thread
The link to the main thread can be found here (http://www.thecbg.org/e107_plugins/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?24351.last)
Ah, good to see work resume.
Intro
Sets a post-apocalyptic feel, which is, I assume what you were going for.
Do we know what caused such a cataclysm?
The World
This section is really just a continuation of the Intro section, but that's okay.
Is the world a planet, like many settings?
Is it some strange flat world?
If it is a planet, how large? You may also find a little info on the moon(s) can add a bit of flavor.
Tone
It sounds very dark, so if it is "less dark than it was," it must have been really dark. I think you mean that life was more full of struggle prior to modern times when nature started to regrow?
Alignment
Good move. I rarely like alignment for most settings, and for dark ones of political intrigue, it's kind of limiting (or pointless).
I look foward to seeing more. You've got a good start, but there's not enough yet for me to fully review the setting, since all I really know about is the tone and that it is some years after an apocalypse.
post-apocalyptic is what i was aiming for, and yes i know what caused the cataclysm, but you will have to wait until i post it, sorry.
The world is just that, a world as the races know it, im debating whether or not to have it be an entire planet or just part of the world that they have explored
I have the moons detailed in another section, the 1st post for my setting was designed to get people interested and wanting to know more
It was a very dark time, each race struggled to survive, ill post more about the cataclysm so you will get a better idea.
Before i post anything about the races, i would like to know your opinions on where the best place to put the creations myths, you see each race has its own creation myths, so should i put each myth with each race or just post all the creation myths together under the chapter: Life in the world?
If you're going to write one for every race, I'd probably say put it with the race. The myths of a people tell you a lot about that people, so the myths of a race will help define your race.
I just saw your new post on The Storm. I really like the reason behind it - someone trying to become a god was a unique cause for an apocalypse.
I'd say, however, you should specify how long it has been. You use the vague phrase "a few decades" a couple of times. I'm not saying narrow it down to the month, or even the year, but I think knowing whether you mean 31 years or 57 years makes a significant difference.
Also, friendly correction:
QuoteThe Storm after many weeks receded back to its focal point, the land of Danlomn, where the misguided archmage Lodis was said to have performed
the reason i havent specified an exact time is because i really havent decided how long it has been, somewhere between 20-50 years is what im thinking at the moment, hence the few decades, i will eventually narrow down an exact time.
Spelling error fixed, thanks for noticing.
I was thinking about your sense of alignment and the results of the disaster. It might be interesting to have the fact that all societies that survived had in one way or another to devote any moral teachings towards survival be the main reason for there being no sense of alignment. There might be odd remnants of groups who believe in forms of archaic morality around.
It would also be interesting to see what kinds of magics might have been specifically researched in order to produce food and drink and shelter. There might be specially trained and perhaps guarded spellcasters devoted to this kind of task alone.
Create food and water goes from moderately useful to every community's best friend!
Tybalt actually gave me an idea. In the wake of the storm, you could have a new philosophy arise that increasing numbers of people subscribe to - a cult or philosophy that prizes survival above all else (sort of like Nietzchians on Andromeda).
Sorry about taking so long to rely i just havent had enough time to.
Quote from: tybaltIt would also be interesting to see what kinds of magics might have been specifically researched in order to produce food and drink and shelter. There might be specially trained and perhaps guarded spellcasters devoted to this kind of task alone.
create food and water[/i], so if a spell caster was to use this spell they would not create the food and water, but rather they dematerialize the food and water from somewhere else and have it materialize infront of them.
And as for having groups who believe in forms of archaic morality and cults that prize survival above all else, i really hadn't thought to much about it, but ill try and encorperate these idea in the setting.
Also i wouldn't mind hearing how anyone else has dealt with the ecomomy breaking spells.
Update - the first of the race has been added to the races section. You may notice that i have divided the races traits into Racial and cultural, Racial being what a race is born with and cultural being what the race is taught while growing up. Ive decided to leave the cultural traits in the races section for the time being as im unsure how i might add a culture chapter.
The orochi and thier culture is based loosely on japanese mythology and on some Magic: The Gathering cards from the Kamigawa block.
Im trying to think of a way i could incorperate Yamata-no-orochi ("eight-forked serpent") into the orochi culture and the world itself, so any suggestions would be appreciated.
I should have one or two more races up in the next few days
Update - Added Religion
Quote from: KalinWell ive been trying to devise a way to limit economy breaking spells, such as create food and water and various others,i dont particularly want to remove them, so ive been recently toying with the idea that magic magic can not create something from nothing, it must come from somewhere, for an example i will use the spell create food and water, so if a spell caster was to use this spell they would not create the food and water, but rather they dematerialize the food and water from somewhere else and have it materialize infront of them.
I don't think this will fix your overall problem, of clerics in the setting using it. Unless you have truly altruistic people (which doesn't seem to fit the tone of your setting), most are going to say, well, I don't know where the food is going to come from, but people are hungry here...I could easily see someone rationalizing use of the spell the first few times, then suddenly it's easy.
In another game I did have a create water spell which coalesced water out of available sources (such as the atmosphere), so in a dry area, once you had used it, it probably wouldn't work again for a while.
Another idea would be to limit how many can cast the spell; but if you plan to run games, the fact is that a PC that gains the spell could become a messiah (which might not be bad, you just should know for sure if that's what you want).
I can think of a way around it. You after all control the options about how the religions work. Imagine that say you modify the spell so that it requires blood (thinking of Dune as an example) or some kind of ritual that can't be done casually. The devotions required could necessite them being done only on a certain kind of sacred spot, making those paramount for the survival of communities of worshippers.
Quote from: TybaltI can think of a way around it. You after all control the options about how the religions work. Imagine that say you modify the spell so that it requires blood (thinking of Dune as an example) or some kind of ritual that can't be done casually. The devotions required could necessite them being done only on a certain kind of sacred spot, making those paramount for the survival of communities of worshippers.
I like that idea. If you have to make sacrifices, it restricts usage, while allowing for the possibility. If you want to go really grim, say you must sacrifice a person - one dies so the community lives (only do this if you want a really dark setting).
I can just imagine a cleric at a sacred site performing a blood ritual so that he will be able to cast a spell.
But this brings up the question of exactly how much blood must be spilt and should it be the clerics blood or not? Im not above ruling out human sacrifice, as people will do anything no matter how bad it may seem just to survive
EDIT: Update - Added The Daemon War (Chapter 5)
I'd base it on the amount of food/water produced. I'll think further on it but there's another aspect as well: what it is that is produced. I think that it should also not be for instance wine, bread and meat but rather say water and an edible plant or something like that. I don't think that it should be more than the basic grim staples required to stay alive, to be in keeping with what you want for your setting.
Quote from: KalinBut this brings up the question of exactly how much blood must be spilt and should it be the clerics blood or not? Im not above ruling out human sacrifice, as people will do anything no matter how bad it may seem just to survive
Well, I don't think it needs to be the cleric's blood, but I'd say it needs to be a fair amount, to make it matter. It can't be just a pricked finger.
If it had to be the clerics blood then that would stop the cleric from casting the spell often as its a bad idea if you bleed yourself dry, but on the other hand if it had to be someone elses blood willing or unwilling that had to be spilt that would be keeping the dark tone im going for and would restrict any "good" cleric from actually casting the spell. But im drawing a complete blank on how i might incorperate the need for blood for casting divine spells?
Ok ive ben writing this post, ive thought of something, what if when a cleric cast create food and water, but the food is all rotted out and the water is unclean, the effect of the storm is effecting the way some spells work?
I am really liking your work so far. Especially with the big storm imprisoning a careless wizard's soul. Very cool.
But I want to ask about the Aeons...do they work in the same way as gods, giving spells and all that? Where do they come from? From the description, it sounds like they were on the planet to begin with.
Hmm...this also brings up other questions about the cosmology of your setting - the presence of other planes is suggested by the presence of demons, but I know that that is not always the case.
Besides those small details, it looks to be very good. I can't wait to see more of it.
Thanks for taking an interest Realm Weaver.
Aeons work exactly the same as gods, they give spells to thier followers, punish the unfaithful, occasionally appear in the world etc...
The Aeons infact were born at the creation of the world, they did not create the world, which is i think the only difference between the Aeons and Gods in other settings.
The planes at the moment is a very shakey subject, im yet to decide on how exactly to encorperate them into the world, but i dont think i will be using the way D&D usually does it.
I think that that would be interesting, the idea of the storm affecting the spell. I would suggest that this could be a known factor, that elements of the storm or its activity could affect the spells. So that the priests would have to conjecture when the best times to cast the spells are as well.
Update - Added another race called the Reikians
The casters of Ladrona would have found out early on that the storm does have an effect on some spells they cast, and i would probably make it be both the elements within the storm and the activity of the storm that effects the spells.
Have you ever read the Wounded Land? It has a rather similar idea called the Sunbane. Different suns exist for different effects--fertility, disease, burning, etc. The natural laws are rent asunder and so most natural life is entirely subject to the phases of the sun. You could do something similar--have it random so that only certain spells can predict which phase of the storm will occur.
Also a system idea for the use of food and drink creating spells--base them on hit point use. Say something like a pound or a pint per hit point.
I cant say that i have, ill check my local libraries and see it they have it, i really like the idea, but based off what you have said i would adapt it a little so i would be something like this:
The Great Storm many years on still effects the lands, it has been suggest by those that have studied the storm that it must have left some residual magic that must be present high up in the atmosphere, and combined with the presence of one or more of the five moons it seems to effect certain types of magic.
Update - Added the Academy to the Organisations chapter and added some stuff about the gift.
Let me know your thoughts
QuoteTheir eye color varies from deep red to dark brown, their hair ranges from a deep green matching their scales to a deep red matching their eyes.
The warriors of the tribe usually possess light brown to black eyes and green to grey hair, while their druids possess the tell tale signs of flaming red hair that matches their eyes.
Orochi value life, celebrating a birth for three days, where on the third day the newborn is given its first name by its parents and when an orochi is old enough they are trained as either a warrior protecting the tribes boundaries or a druid leading the various tribes, depending on the color of their hair, as the orochi believe that only those with red hair possess the requirements to become a druid.[/quote]...so that they will become a part of the forest after death completing the cycle of life and
dead.[/quote]...punished in Gakido (The Demon Road), the lowest form of the underworld.[/quote]...punished in Gakido, the lowest form of the underworld, translated as â,¬Å"The Demon Road.â,¬Â[/ic]
QuoteLodisâ,¬,,¢ power magically altered the storm, turning rain into liquid fire that rained down upon Ladrona for three days, those that died then were said to be the lucky ones. The rivers within Danlomn; the center of the storm began to invert, causing the waters to run straight up into the air to form airborne lakes.
Typo
*cough* Typos, where? *cough*
QuoteI think the first paragraph is unneeded.
How exactly are the orochi â,¬Å"snakelike?â,¬Â They seem like reptilian humanoids with fangs. You could describe them as snakelike, but consider that it may give a false image of them. Do they have slitted eyes?
What about hunters, craftsmen and parents/teachers?
[/quote]
Good catch, while the orochi may be seperated into two classes there is nothing preventing them from becoming parents, as there are no laws preventing any of the orochi from giving birth, it is up to the tribe as a whole to pass down the knowledge they have learnt to the younger generation there is also nothing to prevent an orochi from taking up a hobby or craft. When the elders of a tribe know more food must be caught in order to feed the tribe they call upon several warriors to go out and bring back enough food for the tribe, it is up to the senior warrior to determine how many warriors he will take on the hunt.
QuoteAfter the Wizard War, all agreed that a global set of standard magic practices had to be created and enforced to ensure the world and its inhabitance did not suffer again as a result of wizard arrogance, and thus the Academy was established, a ruling council was set up and the Oath and Test were implemented.
I think you mean "inhabitants" here.
I'm also curious about how this Academy enforced its laws.
yeah thats what i meant :)
Well ive been recently playing around with the idea of something like the magehound from Forgottern realms that are the enforcers, i may make them immune to magic, but then i have the problem of who the magehounds actually answer to, as i can see a great potential for corruption within the ranks of the magehounds
I like the post-recent-apocalypse concept. It's a new spin on things. Many campaign worlds have some sort of cataclysm a hundred or more years in the past (Dragon Lance being the most famous example) but I know of nothing before your work where the cataclysm was a few decades ago.
If the "apocalypse" was a super-storm what are the climatological after-effects? Are regular storms more common or less common? More severe or less severe?
I like the Orochians an Reikians, both are funky in a good way. Did you know there's an Eastern system of healing/ energy work called Reiki?
I just read your stuff about the Academy and the Gift. I think the people are very progressive, that their answer to the cataclysm is to train wizards rather than kill them ;)
I like your idea of the Gift. Limits on who can use magic makes it feel a little darker, and magic feel a little rarer and more special. Good for low magic worlds, too.
I have something similar to your magehound idea (at least it sounds similar, though I'm not realy familiar with it in FR). One thing I struggle with, though, is the question of where that magic immunity might come from. It's ironically more of an issue in a low-magic world, where personal will or divine intervention are not really acceptable answers.
I was originally going to have the storm set a hundred years ago, but i could not get the feel and tone of the world right so i decided to have it only a few decades ago, so many of the effects are still going on that affect the land and its people.
The storm is still present but at a relatively small scale it surrounds the place where Lodis performed the ritual, the result of this is it has created a permanently dead land which is avoided by all races.
Normal storms are more or less the same as they were before, to be honest with you i haven't thought about how or if if would effect the normal storms.
Never heard of Reiki before, i just kinda picked a word spelt it backwards the re-arranged the letters and added/removed a few and i managed to come up with the name Reikian.
QuoteI just read your stuff about the Academy and the Gift. I think the people are very progressive, that their answer to the cataclysm is to train wizards rather than kill them ;)
I like your idea of the Gift. Limits on who can use magic makes it feel a little darker, and magic feel a little rarer and more special. Good for low magic worlds, too.
[/quote]
I have something similar to your magehound idea (at least it sounds similar, though I'm not realy familiar with it in FR). One thing I struggle with, though, is the question of where that magic immunity might come from. It's ironically more of an issue in a low-magic world, where personal will or divine intervention are not really acceptable answers.
[/quote]
Im not sure if it is a published class, but i was reading a FR Trilogy, cant remember the names of the books atm, but the featured the magehounds, the immune to magic is only an idea, ive only got a very general idea about what i want to do with the class.
Update - Added a bit to the Orochi, i hope it fleshes them out a bit more.
Also im interested in a new take on the elves, i dont want to have them how they are presented in the PHB as they are too similar to the Orochi, and i dont particularly want to go down the drow route either, so if anyone has any thoughts or ideas on the matter please share them.
You've got a lot of detail for your races. I admire that. I constantly find myself not really knowing what to say about my races for Kishar.
On a side note, I'm not totally certain I find the orochi balanced with PHB races. Despite the negatively unbalanced ability scores, their big penalty is to CHA, which many fighters won't care about at all. You effectively tell them they cannot be good sorcs, bards, or paladins, in exchange making them supreme fighters, barbs, rogues, or rangers. The benefits of multiple limbs, a nasty poison, and +4 dex, not to mention other minor benefits and cultural traits are pretty extreme.
im not trying to make them balanced against the PHB races, im trying to balance them against each other, originally i was going to have Thri-kreen as a player race, but i quickly scrapped that idea and made the Orochi, which is a slightly toned down version.
Another Update - Added Humans to the Races post, and some information about the Planes.
Ah. Okay, in that case, it's okay. But I think they are also not balanced against your humans, unless you plan to give them some major cultural traits. Once reikians have cultural traits, it looks like they will be balanced against orochi, though.
Quote from: Phoenix KnightAh. Okay, in that case, it's okay. But I think they are also not balanced against your humans, unless you plan to give them some major cultural traits. Once reikians have cultural traits, it looks like they will be balanced against orochi, though.
Yeah i was actually thinking the same thing, i havent got a clue as to what to add to make humans balanced against the orochi, i may end up nerfing the orochi a bit
Update - Added rules for taint, i could use some suggestions for what a fully tainted soul could turn the body into, i dont what them to turn into daemons, and im not that keen on them turning into undead either, maybe something completely ferral.
I'd be inclined to do something like say in "28 Days Later" or better still "The Fog" (the novel) where people may go feral or may go totally passive...it entirely depends on their personality. Perhaps you could have beast natures that reflect this?
I haven't heard of "28 Days Later" or "The Fog", but i dont think i want to have the beasts nature reflect their personalities although i do like the sound of it, i just dont think it could be usable in this instance as their personalities are overwhelmed by their tainted soul which totally corrupts their bodies, they are eventually turned into a "insane" souless being.
Update - Added a huge amount of information about the kobold race, let me know your thoughts about them.
Very interesting--I have to say a few things:
1. Are you deliberately trying to make kobolds have compensatory powers in exchange for their low stature? Because that's kind of how I see the racial abilities traits.
2. I do like the way you have made them less a minor humanoid group and more a developed set of creatures that claim a common descent, and have magic as part of their origins. I also like that they are linked with dragons.
QuoteVery interesting--I have to say a few things:
1. Are you deliberately trying to make kobolds have compensatory powers in exchange for their low stature? Because that's kind of how I see the racial abilities traits.
2. I do like the way you have made them less a minor humanoid group and more a developed set of creatures that claim a common descent, and have magic as part of their origins. I also like that they are linked with dragons.
[/quote]
thanks
Ah, it was the elemental abilities I was referring to. I also meant I guess that they are in the Monster Manual not merely physically small but also low in abilities from what I can make out. I'll look over the 'wall' and see if I can come up with anything.
ah ok, i understand now. I believe the monster manual kobolds are close to a LA -2 race or some such thing, so i looked through the WOTC site for a kobold web enhancement and found the slight build there and thought the kobolds deserved it.
As to the elemental abilities i think they add a unique-ness to the kobold race also emphasising the ties they have with the elemental dragons.
There's really no such thing as a negative LA. However, kobolds are given the short end of the race stick, admittedly. Back when I was using them as a player race rather than an anima, I felt the need to up their stats a bit. Among other things, the STR penalty was too high.
Neat twist on them being from dragon eggs and all.
yeah, i know there really isnt such a thing as negative LA, but i remember a few people adding up the kobolds abilities over on the WOTC boards and thats kinda what its abilities equated to.
Also I managed to decrease the amount of text for their death throes abilities.