The Campaign Builder's Guild

It's been awhile since we've had a contest, so hopefully people will enjoy this one.  The title of our April contest is


Going with the theme of April Fools, the contest for this month will be about fooling people; in particular, witless PCs.  You are to create a cursed magical item.  This should be a small-ish item, one that could be given as a gift, that seems to have one desired effect, but in actuality has another effect.  The effect should not be harmful; instead, it should be more along the lines of a prank or gag.

To be judged, there are a few things you will need to include in your entry.  You need to have a good, visual description of the item, and if you can put in a picture (original art only), all the better (but entries will not be given "bonus points" for having art with them).  After that, there needs to be a description of what the item presumably does.  This is to say, if it looks like a typical "Brooch of Healing," explain what the effects would be for the character.  Lastly, there needs to be a detailed description of what the item actually does.  In the example above, you may put that the item, when activated, actually blinds the user for 1 round with a brilliant flash of light.  Your choice, you're the creator.

With that being said, any system is okay for this one.  The stats are less important than the descriptions for this contest, but please include stats if the item calls for them.  If I can't figure out how to read White Wolf stats, I'll find someone who can explain it to me.

Entries will be judged on originality and general awesomeness.  There will be first, second, and third places in this contest.  All three will be included in the next Guide, and depending on the amount of participation, first place will also receive either a CBG T-shirt or CBG mouse pad (winner's choice).

Members may submit more than one entry if they have several ideas.  However, you can only win one prize.  Meaning, even if your three entries are the best three on the boards, you will only win one place, and two other members will get the other two places.

There will be two separate threads per contest.  The one labeled "Contest Entries" is for entries only.  Please direct all discussion, comedy, and chit-chat to the Discussion Thread (http://www.thecbg.org/e107_plugins/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?28261) (labeled "Contest Discussion").

The deadline for this contest is 12:00 AM EST, Monday, April 23, 2007.

Cheers, and Good Luck!
-Ish

ED (Enchantment Dysfunction) Sword
This sword appears to be a powerful Sun Blade, sought after by many adventurers and warriors of good.  Detect Magic, Identify, and other similar spells will show that this sword matches the powers of a Sun Blade, and a Knowledge (Arcana) check will reveal that it is of similar description.

However, once the wielder attempts to use the ED Sword, its curse becomes apparent.  On the wielder's first attack, the sword functions exactly as a Sun Blade would, down to its enhanced power against evil creatures.  However, the second attack, and all others thereafter, function as though the ED Sword were a Dagger, dealing 1d4 Piercing damage, with no magical enhancement or bonuses against evil creatures (or creatures from the Negative Energy Plane).  Additionally, the ED Sword is wielded as though it were a Greatsword, which means it is a two-handed weapon which weighs 8 lbs and cannot be used by Small creatures at all.  Finally, the last part of the ED Sword's curse, is that once the wielder has it, it is nigh impossible to get rid of.  If the wielder tries to leave the ED Sword somewhere, it always finds its way back into the wielder's hands.  No other weapon can be drawn while the wielder is cursed by the ED Sword, if the wielder tries to draw something else, they will find themselves holding the ED Sword, even if they cannot actually use it in combat (as might be the case for a Small creature).  The standard spells (such as Break Enchantment, Remove Curse, or Limited Wish) will not free the wielder of the ED Sword (though Wish or Miracle will, transporting it thousands of miles away from the wielder).  The most reliable way to get rid of the curse of the ED Sword is to follow these steps:

1. The wielder must take a specially made alchemical potion, costing 200 gp per dose, once a day for a full month.  If the wielder misses a single dose, the regimen must be started again.
2. At the end of the month, the wielder must have the spell Shatter cast upon the ED Sword (no saving throw for the ED Sword).  This breaks the ED Sword in exactly 12 pieces, each of which must be coated in an individual Oil of Keen Edge.
3. Finally, the 12 pieces of the ED Sword must be melted down and reforged into an actual Greatsword, which will have no magical properties whatsoever.

Lense Of Seeing[/u]


All magic used to detect the presence, or nature, of magic on the Lense of Seeing will reveal it to be a lense of True Seeing, and any appraise check will verify this (although, appraise checks might hint at lackluster quality; However, even then, it will still appear to be quite functional). As such, when the wielder isn't in the prescence of magical auras, it has no effect whatsoever.

The Lense of Seeing, however, has two curses that activate simultaneously. The first of the curses is readily apparent, as it renders all clothing completely invisible. This effect is only visible to the wielder, with the exception of all creatures within a five-foot radius of the wielder (including the wielder), whose clothing is rendered invisible to anybody viewing.

The second curse is not quite so apparent: The True Seeing effect of the Lense of Seeing only applies to invisible creatures. The effect is otherwise identical to True Seeing (IE: It doesn't produce a See Invisibility effect).

Both curses are activated in the presence of any invisible creature, regardless of how they became invisible.

Ioun Stone of Celebration
When inactive, this item appears to be an ordinary pink and green ioun stone, and indeed it  does function as normal (+2 to the user's charisma). However, when the user first places the stone to orbit around his head, the 'curse' comes into effect. Whenever the user performs a common, ordinary task (the actual task is up to the giver of the stone, see below), the ioun stone emits large amounts of streamers and glitter while whizzing around the person's head playing celebratory music. The effect last only a few seconds, but is enough to attract the attention of everyone around, and usually gives the user a bit of a shock the first time as well.  

In addition to the above effect, the user cannot deactivate the stone by any means except by giving it as a gift to another. At this time the giver is free to whisper to the stone a new action for it to celebrate, but it is not required. This stone is often given as a joke gift among wizards and bards who can afford it, and is great fun at parties.

When not celebrating or not in use, the stone looks like an ordinary ioun stone (pink and green, marble-sized, and spherical). When celebrating, the stone sprouts a 1-2 foot streamer and several small flags, both in the wearer's favorite colors.

Elsa's Blush-Beer
This beer is generally served in a tall mug, it is of a deep brown with a heavy froth and a smooth texture.  It appears to be a special dwarven ale that bestows a temporary +1 bonus on fortitude saves for the next hour, bestowing dwarven endurance on non-dwarves.  However, what this actually does is turn the imbiber a most magnificent shade of hot pink.  This ridiculous coloration bestows a -4 circumstance penalty on all Hide, Intimidate and Diplomacy checks.  In the dark this actually makes the drinker glow, functioning like a candle.

Quote from: DarkxarthED (Enchantment Dysfunction) Sword

[spoiler=(Spoilerized for your convenience...)]This sword appears to be a powerful Sun Blade, sought after by many adventurers and warriors of good.  Detect Magic, Identify, and other similar spells will show that this sword matches the powers of a Sun Blade, and a Knowledge (Arcana) check will reveal that it is of similar description.

However, once the wielder attempts to use the ED Sword, its curse becomes apparent.  On the wielder's first attack, the sword functions exactly as a Sun Blade would, down to its enhanced power against evil creatures.  However, the second attack, and all others thereafter, function as though the ED Sword were a Dagger, dealing 1d4 Piercing damage, with no magical enhancement or bonuses against evil creatures (or creatures from the Negative Energy Plane).  Additionally, the ED Sword is wielded as though it were a Greatsword, which means it is a two-handed weapon which weighs 8 lbs and cannot be used by Small creatures at all.  Finally, the last part of the ED Sword's curse, is that once the wielder has it, it is nigh impossible to get rid of.  If the wielder tries to leave the ED Sword somewhere, it always finds its way back into the wielder's hands.  No other weapon can be drawn while the wielder is cursed by the ED Sword, if the wielder tries to draw something else, they will find themselves holding the ED Sword, even if they cannot actually use it in combat (as might be the case for a Small creature).  The standard spells (such as Break Enchantment, Remove Curse, or Limited Wish) will not free the wielder of the ED Sword (though Wish or Miracle will, transporting it thousands of miles away from the wielder).  The most reliable way to get rid of the curse of the ED Sword is to follow these steps:

1. The wielder must take a specially made alchemical potion, costing 200 gp per dose, once a day for a full month.  If the wielder misses a single dose, the regimen must be started again.
2. At the end of the month, the wielder must have the spell Shatter cast upon the ED Sword (no saving throw for the ED Sword).  This breaks the ED Sword in exactly 12 pieces, each of which must be coated in an individual Oil of Keen Edge.
3. Finally, the 12 pieces of the ED Sword must be melted down and reforged into an actual Greatsword, which will have no magical properties whatsoever.[/spoiler]

Silicone Breastplate
Anyone identifying or otherwise magically studying a silcone breastplate will conclude that the item is functionally identical to a +5 breastplate made of steel, despite the fact that it appears to be made from form-fitting, rubbery padding. In most cases, a silicone breastplate does function as a +5 breastplate made from steel.

The only exceptions are as follows: A silcone breastplate can only be worn by a female. Attempts to refit the silicone breastplate to fit a male, or to otherwise place it upon a male wearer, invariably result in the breastplate fitting so poorly that it fails to function as armor in any meaningful way (it provides no bonus to Armor Class). Only again placing the silicone breastplate on a female wearer will cause it to once more work properly as armor.

Also, any female equipped with a silicone breastplate radiates a special aura that reverses the curse of any ED sword wielded by a male who has line of sight to her. The sword deals damage as though it were a greatsword of two size categories larger than its actual size, and its magical properties are restored in full. (However, the other aspects of the sword's curse remain in place.)

Cloak of the Kicked

The Cloak of the Kicked appears to be a plain white cloak with a hood. The fabric is thick and looks like it protect against the rain and cold well. Also, the cloak seems to have some kind of magical self-cleaning property, and it always appears pure white and spotless.

Spells like identify claim that it is a Cloak of Resistance +5 (which would provide the wearer a +5 resistance bonus on all saves.)

When a character puts the cloak on, the curse manifests (the cloak does not actually serve as a Cloak of Resistance.) The words "KICK ME" appear in big red Common letters on the back of the cloak. Any characters within 30 feet that have line of sight to the victim and can read Common must make a DC 30 Will save or be compelled to approach and attack the victim in melee as quickly as possible. Characters who succeed on their saves are immune to the cloak's effect for 24 hours. Characters who fail their saves are only compelled to attack until a single attack hits, after which they need not make further saves for 24 hours. They may choose any kind of melee attack, including an unarmed strike (which must be a kick if possible)

The cloak cannot be removed until another character casts remove curse on the victim and then kicks the victim. This method of removing the cursed item will not work if the victim attempts to do it to himself (though he's welcome to try.) The cloak disintegrates if its victim is hit in melee thirteen times while wearing it.

Wizard's Monocle

This clear glass monocle hangs on a small platinum chain and appears to have the same effect as a Ring of Wizardry (any type) in addition to granting a +4 bonus of Spellcraft and Knowledge (arcana) checks made to recognize spells. It does in fact double the appropriate level of spells, but the user actual takes a -4 penalty instead and the monocle creates a hallucinogenic effect on the wearer.

Any time the wearer attempts to cast a spell, he must make a will save of DC 15+the spell's level or else the spell is not cast, but the caster see's all the effects as if it had and believes he did cast the spell. The prepared spell or spell slot is used up as if he had successfuly cast it. The caster will never try to take off the monocle or realise spells are not being cast until someone points it out to him. Once he has been conviced of the curse, each time the monocle makes a fake spell thereafter he recieves a Will save (DC = the save DC of the spell cast) to realise it is not a real spell.

To remove the monocle, a wearer must manage to successfully cast Break Enchantment on himself and then feed the monocle to a summoned elemental right before they return to their homeplane.

Elat's Everfull Mug
To normal investigation this appears to be a standard issue everfull mug. On command, the mug will fill with a fresh, tasty pint of ale. However, if the ale is not consumed within two rounds, it becomes flat, stale and unappetizing. After four rounds, it turns bitter and distasteful. The mug will not refill until the previous drink is consumed. If the contents are spilled or dumped out, the mug deactivates and will not function for a full 24 hours.

Doublet of Double Defence

This sleeveless jacket tests as a minor defensive magic item, and does indeed provide a +2 to Armor Class as well as a 2/- Damage Resistance.  Furthermore, if the doublet is worn for twenty-four hours, it essentially becomes invisible and intangible, disappearing into the wearers skin so that it's defensive traits become natural bonuses for the wearer.  However, as the doublet becomes a full-time protection, it's curse activates.  

Three times per day, the doublet will conjure a Shadow version of it's wearer.  This version has only one-fifth the hit points of the original, and inflicts only one-fifth the damage on any attack.  Otherwise the Shadow version is precisely identical to the original.  The conjured version never appears where the original can see it, and does it's best to stay out of the original's sight.  It only lasts 1 round per level of the original, but during that time it is terribly active.

The Shadow version knows everything the original knows, but has motives dominated by impulses that the original usually suppresses.  These impulses are occasionally quite destructive, but are most frequently capricious, even whimsical.  The shadow creature rarely engages in overt violence; it is more likely to be socially destructive.  Unsuspecting bystanders will see the original walk past, then dash back and break something, rearrange something or kiss someone, then smile and disappear.  Later, they are most likely to take the original's protestations of ignorance as a bald-faced lie.

The shadow creature remembers it's own experiences as well as the experiences of the original.  Consequently, it's activities from one of it's conjurations to the next might escalate or progress along a predictable sequence.  One day, the neighbor's yappy dog turns up carrying a stolen sausage link from the market, the next day it's up to it's ears in a mince pie that someone set out to cool on the windowsill of the second-floor window...

The only way to be rid of this doublet is for the original to confront the Shadow version directly.  At that time, the doublet will separate from the wearer and become visible again.  It will then be removable with a simple Remove Curse spell, but only for the subsequent 24 hours.  After that, the doublet melds back into the wearer's person, and the Shadow comes back out to play...

+1 Flute of Music
Detect Magic, Identify, and other similar spells will show that this is intead a +1 Flute of Music.

The +1 Flute of music resembles a finely crafted instrument, and provides its user with a +2 performance check, and a +2 DC increase of any spell cast by the user while playing the flute, for the first time only.

From then on the user cannot bear to be seperated from the flute for even the shortest amount of time, becoming his/her most prized possession. Any time the user playes the flute it immits a sound something akin to nails being scraped down a chalkboad every time it is played providing a -8 to performance checks and an -4 DC decrease of any spell cast by the user. However the user remains unaware that the music has changed, as the user hears perfectly formed notes.

A simple remove curse is sufficient to seperate the flute from the user.

Mug of Beautiful Sight

Detect Magic, Identify, and other similar spells will reveal this to be a Mug of Charisma, an item which increases the users charisma. However, the item actually has the following affect:

The user's perception of people's genders is switched, causing him to view men as women and women as men, and finding any member of the percieved opposite gender extremely attractive, unless he succeds on a DC 25 will save. (So, a man drinking from this mug would percieve all men as beautiful women, and all women as average looking men.) In addition, the drinker must make a DC 10 will save each time he interacts with a member of the precieved opposite gender or fall under the effects of a charm spell in relation to that person. The curse can only be broken by casting Remove Curse on the subject while he is being kissed by someone who is actually of the opposite gender.

Darkxarth's 2nd Entry
Ruby Boots of the Hag
These boots are bright red, and sparkle like a ruby.  Any attempt at identification reveals that they are Boots of Speed.  Both the Boots of Speed and the Ruby Boots of the Hag are activated in the same way, by clicking one's heels together.  However, instead of activating a magical haste effect, the clicking the heels of the Ruby Boots of the Hag activates the boots' curse, which has many aspects.

- The boots, once clicked, cannot be removed until the curse is lifted.

- Whenever the wearer moves, a loud and slightly annoying music starts, and is quickly joined by the childlike singing of a chorus of Halflings.  When the wearer stops, the music and singing also stop, but as soon as the wearer takes another step it starts back up again.  The music and singing seem to eminate from nowhere, and in fact the source can never be found.

- Whenever the wearer sleeps (or goes into a trance, as in the case of Elves) he or she is plagued by nightmares in which they walk in and endless spiral on a road of golden bricks.  In these nightmares, they are chased by an Animated Scarecrow, a Tin Golem, and a Were-Lion.  And though the monsters never catch them in this dream, they can never truly escape.

- Whenever the wearer of the boots enters a building, that building immediately starts rumbling, and strange scenes flash by its windows.  Hags flying by on magical broomsticks, large black and white cattle, and various debris.  However, nothing is really happening (there is nothing outside flying by the window) and the rumbling causes no damage, even to a rickety building.

The only way to remove the curse (and the boots) is to track down an old witch (good or evil), douse her with water (without warning), and immediately drop a small, wooden house on the wearer's toes.  The house does not have to be well made, but it must at least bear some semblance of a miniature version of a house.  After this is completed, the toes of the boots will curl up, and then slip off the wearer's feet.  They are still cursed, but the curse will not activate again unless someone puts them on and clicks the heels together.

Trollhammer Toys proudly presents:
The Little Merlinâ,¬,,¢s First Alchemy Kit

The Little Merlinâ,¬,,¢s Kit provides a great way for young wizards to learn about magic and alchemy.  It offers a plethora of potions, recipes, and ingredients for crafting and brewing.

Got a young first leveler?  The Little Merlin is perfect for getting him started right.  Even third and fourth levelers enjoy the Little Merlin.

The Little Merlinâ,¬,,¢s First Alchemy Kit is a registered Trademarkâ'žÂ¢ of Trollhammer Toys.  Trollhammer Toys is not liable for any incidents resulting from the use of our products, including, but not limited to: headaches, diarrhea, nausea, singed eyebrows, explosions, earthquakes, acts of the gods, interplanar rifts, or full apocalypses.  We offer our full satisfaction silver-back guarantee on all our products.  If you are not satisfied, we will send an angry silverback gorilla to rectify the situation.


The Little Merlinâ,¬,,¢s First Alchemy Kit comes in a wooden box the size of a small chest.  It opens to reveal a number of shelves containing potions, reagents, wands, and instructions.

The product includes, but is not limited to:

Dust of Disappearance: This amazing dust disappears as soon as the bagâ,¬,,¢s seal is opened!
Manual of Hit Points: Anyone that reads this manual will bright-colored targets over their vital organs, each clearly labeled with how many points a hit is worth!
Potion of Burning Hands: Not for ingestion!  May cause inflammation.
Potion of Burning Heart: This potion gives you heartburn!
Potion of Confusion: Made with top quality shrooms!
Potion of Growth: This potion of enlarge person may sometimes only work on the subjectâ,¬,,¢s ears.
Potion of Invisibility: The position sometimes only affects the userâ,¬,,¢s clothes.  Mileage may vary.
Potion of Reduction: This potion of reduce person works perfectly!  Results may be limited to only certain body parts.
Potion of Summoning: When opened, this vial conjures up a giant, eight-foot long stuffed rhino!
Tashaâ,¬,,¢s Hideous Laugh Track: High Wizard not impressed with your prestidigitation?  With this laugh track, no one will know itâ,¬,,¢s not high rolling on the floor laughing!  Open with care; this jewelry box emits continual laughter and cannot be closed.
Wand of Dance: First inspection identifies the kitâ,¬,,¢s wand as a wand of Ottoâ,¬,,¢s Irresistible Dance.  On activation, however, the wand targets the intended target, the caster, and all his allies, causing them to river dance.
Wand of Zeusâ,¬,,¢s Temper Tantrum: This wand appears to be a wand of lightning bolt, but really it just makes sounds of thunder.  Batteries sold separately.

Order now and you will receive the Skillet of Ares at no extra cost!

Skillet of Ares
This amazing skillet is made of shiny black metal.  It appears to only grant a +3 bonus on cooking checks, but it does so much more!  Any food cooked in it becomes so spicy it would leave a dwarven barbarian in tears!  And it never needs polishing or cleaning!

(Stargate's Entry the Second)
((Pheonix Knight, this is all YOUR fault. :) ))

Whose Stein is it Anyway?[/u]

When under scrutiny, this plain silver mug appears to be nothing more than a plain silver mug (when subjected to spells and effects akin to Analyze Dweomer, the mug appears as an everfull mug, although it does nothing of the sort). However, when being used by a person surrounded by at least four others, the gag comes into effect.

Four of the five being effected (always the closest five to the mug) may be compelled to do one of the following;

*Riverdance on a table or bar long enough to hold all four of them.
*Sing an Irish drinking song, one line at a time, making many lewd references and insulting each other.
*Do a Hoedown.
*Continue as normal, except that each one must be standing, sitting, lying down, or bending over, and no two can be in the same position.
*Continue as normal, but converse using only questions.
*Continue as normal, but be forced to say only titles of favorite drinking songs.
*Have two random letters of their speech be switched (F is pronounced as a G, etc.)

They perform four of these total, with the fifth man being switched with another for the fourth one. Each performance lasts roughly 5 minutes. The person not under one of these compulsions is forced to award 'points' to the other four based on their performance, but the points don't matter.

perfume of male enchantment


the label on this perfune reads that using the elixir of female essence it makes you unresistable to the opposite sex.

what it doesnt tell you is that it is actually the female hormones from an umber hulk.i'm sure you can guess what happans next

Bag of Random Embarassment
This item looks like a bag of holding, but when something is placed into it, the user is cursed with its effect. The bag comes with a list of items inside. Every 24 hours (game time), the player rolls a 1d6.
If he/she gets a 1, the character is immediately transformed into a member of the opposite gender, wearing nothing but underwear.
If he/she gets a 2, the character will fall madly in love with the next thing it sees.
If he/she gets a 3, the characteris instantly transported to a random position within a 18-mile radius of his current location.
If he/she gets a 4, 8 drunken Balors immediately appear in front of him, who then sing "Everybody Dance Now"
If he/she gets a 5, a wolverine immediately comes out of the bag of holding and sits on the top of the players head, wefusing to come off until he is fed 5 black lotus extract
If he/she gets a 6, re-roll twice and combine the effects

To break the curse, the player must take the list of items that came with it and go on a scavanger hunt to find them
Item list:
1 Griffon Egg
1 Trumpet Archon's horn
1 Party Hat worn by a Marut
1 Lock of hair from the current Matron Mother of the first house of Menzobarrenzan
3 pairs of Garl Glittergold's underpants
5 gallons of black lotus extract

double post

CONTEST CLOSED!  Thanks Guys, we'll get these judged ASAP.