This is my other fantasy world that has been on the back burner for about a year, but I am going to kick it back into high gear.
This world is a little more developed than Marit, but that is because I completely destroyed Marit and started over.
All comments welcome.
Just read the intro, and I have to say: Hooray for schisms like this. I wonder if there might have been any other consequences?
Quote from: beejazzJust read the intro, and I have to say: Hooray for schisms like this. I wonder if there might have been any other consequences?
What other consequences can you think of? Five and ten play a huge role in the world. There are 5 moons, 10 months with 5 'seasons', possibly 10 different monastic orders.
It's about time I buckled down and did another review, and you're the unlucky one today.
I like what you've done with the fives, reminds me alot of what I'm doing in Dilandri (with the same number no less), although yours permeates the setting far more blatantly.
I look forward to seeing these magics statted out, especially the rune magic. You mention how there may be rogue elementals in the relams training apprentices. This strikes me as very jedi-ish. I don't know if that was your intent, but I think you should run with it. It works in the context I've seen so far.
I'm a bit confused about the geography of the actual world(s). Are they pie-slices that are essentially identical, or disc-shaped? Spherical? You said they partially overlapped, and that they resembled a half-circle from the top, so does it look like a spiral staircase with Sarlis as the center axis? By your description I'm assuming that they are all on the same plane; is there any particular reason that you cannot simply fly from one to another? How far apart are they? What does it look like when you reach the 'end' of the world?
I like the concept of Lonli, but how do you have 'good-natured' blood feuds? If the lake fresh or dead? Most desert lakes eventually become toxic from buildup of salt. You also said that these gates can shift around; how often does this happen, and do new gates ever appear?
I like the concept of Angin Falls; it's a very good story. Besides that, I don't see anything I need to comment about Phoris. Although I do wonder what would happen if you replaced the races you removed with five different sub-species of human, all slightly different. It would make sense that if the lands were changed the people would be too.
Is Brea your generic fantasy realm? If not, you need something more to distinguish it I think. I find it odd that the realm with the only land connection to another realm, and the most important city no less, has not taken the time to build up that connection (at least putting handrails on the thing).
Garin is what I would picture if you took ancient greece and plopped it into the amazon. What's the adventuring motive in the forest? lost civilizations? ancient temples? untold resources? Or is it simply a barrier between the cities, and those are the real action here?
Alright. Dakeen has shown me something else. Do each of these pie-slices rotate around the center? obviously my stair-theory is wrong, as then it would get no less light than any other. Dakeen seems unfinished to me; it lacks the same amount of detail as the others, so there isn't much else I can comment on right now.
The Nafreet sound like an interesting bunch. does the entire race travel as a group, or are there several tribes of them? This also brings up another question I had; crunch-wise, how does a caster off her plane contribute to the party without her magic?
Anyway, the Nafreet would seem like a key player should the realms ever go to war.
Some other thoughts. I was initially confused about the orc invasion, as you said there were no other races. Later on you also mention goblins, so I can only assume you meant the core races. Is playing one of these other races feasible in five realms? Are the Nafreet playable? how do you handle the gates; are they like stargates, where there's a containment object to them and they aren't always open, or are they like rifts that you can just step through?
In all, it seems to be a very unique setting, and I can't wait until it is fleshed out more.
Quote from: Stargate525It's about time I buckled down and did another review, and you're the unlucky one today.
Don't feel unlucky at all. Feel the exact opposite. I look forward to questions so that I can flesh it out more.
Quote from: Stargate525I look forward to seeing these magics statted out, especially the rune magic. You mention how there may be rogue elementals in the relams training apprentices. This strikes me as very jedi-ish. I don't know if that was your intent, but I think you should run with it. It works in the context I've seen so far.
That wasn't the thought, but your right it is kind of like that. There are some EM's that want more power and thus are trying to build their forces.
Quote from: Stargate525I'm a bit confused about the geography of the actual world(s). Are they pie-slices that are essentially identical, or disc-shaped? Spherical? You said they partially overlapped, and that they resembled a half-circle from the top, so does it look like a spiral staircase with Sarlis as the center axis? By your description I'm assuming that they are all on the same plane; is there any particular reason that you cannot simply fly from one to another? How far apart are they? What does it look like when you reach the 'end' of the world?
I will post a rough map later. I'm not completely happy with it so it may change, but you get the general idea from it. Each Realm is a copy of of what the original realm looked like. The map should make it easier to see as it is hard to explain. And there is nothing to prevent one person flying from one Realm to another. Other than unless they are EM their magic will stop working part of the way there. I don't have an exact measurement of what the distance between the Realms.
Quote from: Stargate525I like the concept of Lonli, but how do you have 'good-natured' blood feuds? If the lake fresh or dead? Most desert lakes eventually become toxic from buildup of salt. You also said that these gates can shift around; how often does this happen, and do new gates ever appear?
Overall the clan battles are good natured, more like counting coup. But there can be some serious blood feuds also. The water is fresh water and is maintained so by magic. The gates on Lonli don't move around, the gem deposits do. I can see how what I wrote could be confusing as I didn't give the last few gates specific locations. But yes sometimes new gates do appear, but once they do then they stay put.
Quote from: Stargate525I like the concept of Angin Falls; it's a very good story. Besides that, I don't see anything I need to comment about Phoris. Although I do wonder what would happen if you replaced the races you removed with five different sub-species of human, all slightly different. It would make sense that if the lands were changed the people would be too.
Thanks, I had fun with the Falls. It made a great visual of a waterfall miles high falling to the Realm below.
Quote from: Stargate525Is Brea your generic fantasy realm? If not, you need something more to distinguish it I think. I find it odd that the realm with the only land connection to another realm, and the most important city no less, has not taken the time to build up that connection (at least putting handrails on the thing).
All the Realms need further work but especially Brea. The middle three Realms are your typical fantasy Realms, all with slightly different twists. Phoris is very industrial, Brea very political and Garin very wild. For some reason I just like the Causeway as a cobblestone road that is suspended in the air with no handrails. Again a good visual, though a dangerous one.
Quote from: Stargate525Garin is what I would picture if you took ancient greece and plopped it into the amazon. What's the adventuring motive in the forest? lost civilizations? ancient temples? untold resources? Or is it simply a barrier between the cities, and those are the real action here?
There are some ancient cities hidden out in the woods, as well as dungeons and other things. There is also the mystery of the crater and why nothing will grow there.
Quote from: Stargate525Alright. Dakeen has shown me something else. Do each of these pie-slices rotate around the center? obviously my stair-theory is wrong, as then it would get no less light than any other. Dakeen seems unfinished to me; it lacks the same amount of detail as the others, so there isn't much else I can comment on right now.
Dakeen is weird and needs lots of work. Much of the Realm is in perpetual twilight and this has made the people there very odd. I hope to have more up on it soon.
Quote from: Stargate525The Nafreet sound like an interesting bunch. does the entire race travel as a group, or are there several tribes of them? This also brings up another question I had; crunch-wise, how does a caster off her plane contribute to the party without her magic?
Anyway, the Nafreet would seem like a key player should the realms ever go to war.
There are several tribes of Nafreet that if you go back far enough they would all be related. They travel the Realms acting as messengers and merchants. And to answer your question about what a caster can contribute when not on their Realm? Whatever their skill set allows. I'm not using d20 rules but rather Fantasy Hero rules (for now) so there is no such things as class skills or weapon/armor restrictions. One character is a thief who happens to be a rune mage also. Another is a diplomat who happens to be a Lonli mage.
Quote from: Stargate525Some other thoughts. I was initially confused about the orc invasion, as you said there were no other races. Later on you also mention goblins, so I can only assume you meant the core races. Is playing one of these other races feasible in five realms? Are the Nafreet playable? how do you handle the gates; are they like stargates, where there's a containment object to them and they aren't always open, or are they like rifts that you can just step through?
In all, it seems to be a very unique setting, and I can't wait until it is fleshed out more.
Only humans are playable in Five Realms. The orcs, goblins and whatever else I decide to throw in, aren't as they are not 'civilized' enough. I wanted to keep the PC's on one race. The Nafreet are playable as they are human, no matter what some of the people of the Realms think.
To answer your question about the Gates. That is one of the mysterious things. When most people find a gate it is open and rift that can be walked through. The interior of the gate is like a black starfield until you step through. Now the Nafreet have a way to activate gates. They can't change the destination, but they can find, activate and shut down gates. That is how they move around so quickly. But once a gate is activated by a non-Nafreet even the Nafreet can't shut it down.
Thanks for all your comments!
Quote from: RavenspathThanks for all your comments!
You're welcome. Glad I could be of assistance.
*kicks thread back into existance*
The map really helps. Your religion sounds like a very good concept, but I think it needs an atagonist, one that believes the opposite.
Quote from: Stargate525*kicks thread back into existance*
The map really helps. Your religion sounds like a very good concept, but I think it needs an atagonist, one that believes the opposite.
Thanks. I really need to expand on the religions that I have listed and come up with some more. I will be adding a hidden sect of the 'no magic' religion that actively pursues and kills mages, but I don't quite have it done yet. And I still need some more. I really resisted the thought of religions and gods in Five Realms for such a long time that while part of me feels they are needed part of me still is fighting the thought.
Must get this worked out!