I think it's high time for a Tavern Generator, CBG style! I'm not talking about some stuffy old database that spits out random tavern descriptions. I'm talking about a thread jam-packed with idea-generating, tavern-related goodness. Call it "1001 Tavern Features" if you like.
Whenever you feel the need to write a brief description of a person, place, or thing that might be found in a fantasy tavern (or a brief description of the tavern itself), feel free to post it here. Just try not to get too silly. Oh, and please post only one tavern description or tavern accessory description per post. (That'll make 'em easier to index, should an index be in order.)
Now, let's generate some tavern features!
[ic=The Sign of the Rusty Boar]Hanging above the entrance to the tavern is a sign depicting the silhouette of a pig. The back of the sign is made of wood while the pig shape itself has been fashioned from a flat piece of iron. If the rusty condition of the pig is any indication, the sign has been hanging outside, exposed to the elements, for quite some time.[/ic]
[ic=The Threedice Table]In the corner, behind where the respectable patrons (or at least what passes for them in a place like this) sit, there is a beat-up old wooden table, slightly leaning to one side, with enough scars and other interesting marks that one would immediately wonder the stories this table could tell. The game is Threedice, and it is actually rather simple-- roll three dice, keep one hidden under a cup, bet on the outcome, and then everyone reveals their die and the winner takes all. Of course, such a description completely eliminates the bravado, bluffing, and bluster that makes the game what it is-- and ensures the cast of characters around the table is always eclectic and interesting. Surly dwarven merchants, wily human rogues, exotic traders from the east, everyone stops in to try their luck. Oh, and don't worry, the game is fair... mostly...[/ic]
[ic=The Man with a Load of Mischief]The sign outside this tavern reads, in faded Dwarven letters, "The Man with a Load of Mischief." Beneath this scroll-shaped message in the carved wood is the image of a fat dwarven man with a woman slung over his shoulder.[/ic]
[ic=The Rough House]In this large tavern, the tables and benches are all bolted to the floor. The tankards are all made of dented metal, and food is served on trenchers of hard bread rather than plates. On one side of a long wall, there is a row of dented brass plaques that commemorate some of the more legendary tavern brawls that have happened here.[/ic]
[ic=The Frog and Nightgown]This tavern is named the Frog and Nightgown, and its sign surely enough depicts a frog in a long, flowing nightgown and cap. Any PC who understands Gnomish can make a DC 15 Intelligence check to recognize that the name of this tavern is a really awful Gnomish pun (The Common words for "drink" and "lodging" sound more-or-less like two old Gnomish words for "frog" and "nightgown.")[/ic]
[ic=Gnollwater]"Gnollwater" is slang term used by tavern patrons. The label is most often applied to watered-down beers and ales, but no alcoholic drink is safe. Anything one only orders when one is too cheap or too drunk to care can be referred to as gnollwater. Accordingly, gnollwater of various sorts can be found at dive bars everywhere.[/ic]
[ic=Interim Door]Where the front door to this bar should be, there is only a tired-looking man with a spear standing next to the empty doorway. "Good evening," he explains, "I'm the door. We lost our proper door, and the owner can't get a new one until tomorrow."[/ic]
[ic=A Poor Keeper of Secrets]At a corner table sit a small, cloaked man and a trio of armed individuals. The small man does not appear to be holding his liquor very well. Despite the protests of his armed comrades, the small man is speaking in a very loud voice. Everyone in the room can clearly hear the directions the man is giving to a secret cavern hidden in the wilderness north of town.[/ic]