[ic=The Eclipse]The lycanthropic legions poured from the rainforest and swept over the beach, an army of snarling, slobbering wolves, bears, tigers. Everything they had always feared, unchecked, and now in what should have been daylight. From the hilltop, Shankara could see the path they would take, down through the solar battalion who waited unprepared and unprotected by sun pacters.
The last rays of sunlight winked out behind the shadow of the moon. They hadn't know, hadn't prepared, but they should have. How the lunars had brought about an eclipse, what kind of power it must have taken, he couldn't guess.
He pulled back his shirt sleeve to check the star burst tattoo the ran from his back to his forearms. Already it had lost some of its luster, faded to a dull, lifeless gold. He should have saved the energy, should have been more careful with it. But like the others, he couldn't have known. Probably few had of pact holders had full stores of energy in reserve now. And with the sun hidden behind the moon, they could not recharge it. As he slid the kampilan at his side from its sheath he prayed the eclipse would not last long. Because the solars could not endure it for long.
He should save what little solar energy he still held through his pact. But he wouldn't. He sun strode, traveling in an instant from the hilltop to the beleaguered battalion. Even as he appeared his sword chopped down on a werewolf. He couldn't savor the victor, instead burning more solar energy to increase his speed and strength--the only way he could stand against so many lycanthropes. Another he cut down, and then a bear batted aside his sword. As the bear reared above him, Shankara caught the beast's arms, straining under its strength, feeling his solar energy draining. But he had nothing else to draw on. As he sent a surge of solar heat through his hands, the bear roared in agony and smoke rose from it scorched limbs. The scent of burning flesh filled the air as the bear fell.
Shankara retrieved his sword. He didn't need to pull back his shirt to check the tattoo. He knew he had spent it all, all the sun's power his pact had stored. Without it, he stood among the legions, a mere mortal.[/ic]
Eclipse (http://www.thecbg.org/wiki/index.php?title=Eclipse), a new setting I'm working on for writing, on the wiki. Its two cultures in opposition. I welcome thoughts on adding more depth to them. Comment here or in the talk page, as you prefer.
I don't really have much of substance to say, but I read over what you have on the wiki and this is really interesting.
I don't normally like settings that are... well, I'd say "artificial," but that sounds a bit insulting, and that's not my intent at all. It's just that something like this, with such precise duality, has a certain quality to it that makes it a little too perfect. However, something about this one really seems to click, as though some god came down and decreed that it would be this way, and everything else sort of fell into place, so despite having this rather "artificial/constructed" basis to it, the civilization itself seems to be "alive."
Is there going to be an Indian/Vedic influence to this culture, or was it just the names of the gods?
I like. A lot. Very symmetrical, very cool. I hope the setting lives up to the fiction hook. I'll be sure to read it later.
Quote from: sparkletwistI don't really have much of substance to say, but I read over what you have on the wiki and this is really interesting.
I don't normally like settings that are... well, I'd say "artificial," but that sounds a bit insulting, and that's not my intent at all. It's just that something like this, with such precise duality, has a certain quality to it that makes it a little too perfect. However, something about this one really seems to click, as though some god came down and decreed that it would be this way, and everything else sort of fell into place, so despite having this rather "artificial/constructed" basis to it, the civilization itself seems to be "alive."
Is there going to be an Indian/Vedic influence to this culture, or was it just the names of the gods?
The concept of two empires, one descended from moon and one from sun does come from Hinduism (actually they also had fire descended peoples), but other than that and the names of the two gods and few people, Indian influence is much more limited in this setting than in Kishar.
I wouldn't want it to feel too perfect, so I'll have to think about it. The fundamental principle, that these two societies suffer a fundamental divide along sun/moon worship lines I want to keep. But I also want to make sure they are sufficiently different in not so expected ways. So, of course, I welcome new ideas.
Rose, I look forward to your thoughts, too.
Quote from: PhoenixI wouldn't want it to feel too perfect
My point was actually that, even though the basis of these dual empires was "too perfect," you managed to put it together in a way that made them feel very lifelike and consistent. It was a compliment, really. ;)
Eclipse looks like a nice break from the classic dark'n'edgy fantasy. one thing i'd like to know: why do they fight? the two cultures seem to be rather similar (food, loose clothing, celebrations, worshipping a stellar body, etc.)
is this a religious conflict or about conquest?
Quote from: ScholarEclipse looks like a nice break from the classic dark'n'edgy fantasy. one thing i'd like to know: why do they fight? the two cultures seem to be rather similar (food, loose clothing, celebrations, worshipping a stellar body, etc.)
is this a religious conflict or about conquest?
Well, that's a good question. The easy answer would be that both are empires that have conquered all the lesser cultures on the archipelago and empires expand until someone strong enough stops them. Or that fundamental religious differences pit them against each other.
But I'm not sure I want to go with the easy answer. I'd like to think of something more surprising, something that won't be obvious but also doesn't seem preposterous for sustaining of a series of wars over several centuries.
And at some point I need to come up with the history of the islands.
So if anyone has thoughts, maybe it would spark a unique idea.
commented on wiki discussion
Added history (http://www.thecbg.org/wiki/index.php?title=Eclipse:History) section.
So I separated the big article into four sections: The Main Page (http://www.thecbg.org/wiki/index.php?title=Eclipse)
The History Page (slightly updated to say the solars developed the sun pact b/c of the Astral Temple)
And one page for each empire.
Also added a section on flora and fauna.
The empires hold a few new details, such as the role of the Agnis in solar society, manta riders (under the sun pact), and the Astral Temple (lunar/solar religion sections).
I added a cast (http://www.thecbg.org/wiki/index.php?title=Eclipse:Cast) page to detail a few of the important people in the setting.
Added a description of the Astral Temple (http://www.thecbg.org/wiki/index.php?title=Eclipse:Astral_Temple). Input welcome.
Quote from: PhoenixI added a cast (http://www.thecbg.org/wiki/index.php?title=Eclipse:Cast) page to detail a few of the important people in the setting.
I read the cast page, and it covered ther big stuff. Your folks wear many hats.
I think I need some more meat in terms of localities and the other layers of government before I can advise on what you are missing.
Though I do need to ask this question...what would a party of adventurers look like, and what might they be doing?
Quote from: LordVreegQuote from: PhoenixI added a cast (http://www.thecbg.org/wiki/index.php?title=Eclipse:Cast) page to detail a few of the important people in the setting.
I read the cast page, and it covered ther big stuff. Your folks wear many hats.
I think I need some more meat in terms of localities and the other layers of government before I can advise on what you are missing.
I added a locations (http://www.thecbg.org/wiki/index.php?title=Eclipse:Locations) page. I was a little sparse on that, and this clears it up.
Because the setting is so much in development, the questions posed are really just telling me what to write. Don't know that government layers are my specialty, but I'll try to come up with something. Suggestions in that field are especially welcome. I see for example, the Solars as very rigid and bureaucratic, while the lunars are a very loose society with no bureaucracy at all.
Quote from: LVThough I do need to ask this question...what would a party of adventurers look like, and what might they be doing?
Since I was developed the setting for fiction, I had never considered the question (I had intended Chandi to be the main character for most stories). But it's an interesting question, so I'll tackle it.
D&D doesn't map real well onto the setting. A party of adventurers would probably be either lunars or solars, but not both. If they wanted to be part of the Agni resistance they might be Agnis with solar supporters? Because humans are the only "race" present, that answer is obvious, though lunars might play lycanthropes (or other were-beasts). Solars would likely be Arun Guard (since you know, sun pact), and lunars would presumably be moon-touched (hopefully not lunatics).
Magic comes in two forms. For solars, it's the sun pact, which allows a slew of powers but has to be recharged by basking in the sun. These powers thus run out more quickly. Lunar magic comes from being moon-touched (so like solars only a select few have it). Unlike a sun pact, being moon-touched doesn't mean you get all the possible powers, though you may have several. The most common ones we see are superhuman agility and speed, and possibly free running (running on walls and stuff). Lunar powers are fueled by their own life energy, which lasts longer and replenishes naturally; however, it also means a lunar is draining himself, not an external power source to use magic.
I see combat as being a bit wuxia, at least when the magic stuff gets involved (since so little of the magic involves non-physical stuff, with the exception of possible lunar telekinesis/hydrokinesis).
With that in mind, I suppose monks, psychic warriors, or Tome of Sword stuff might be the closest 3.5 equivalent classes. Don't know what I'd pair them with in terms of 4e classes. Fighters and Rogues?
As for what they would be doing, it would depend on the group chosen. The Agni resistance wants to overthrow the Solar Empire, or at least attain independence from them. The lunars want reclaim the Astral Temple and rule the Skyfall Archipelago in the name of their god. The solars want to hold on to their empire and expand it if possible, though the Arun Guard focuses more on protecting the imperial family. So a campaign (though I have no current plans to run one), would likely be either stealth and sabotage (Agni), or about covert military action (to prevent open war which no one really wants right now).
Okay, that's my best shot at that question for the moment.
So I guess I need to think about how to make more government bureaucracy for the solars.
I added stuff to the Solar Empire about the Ministries (this breaks down to solar bureaucracy into its component parts). There really aren't levels to Lunar government.
The new material:
QuoteThe Solar Empire supports no aristocracy; the emperor appoints six consuls as his heads of state, each as the head of a ministry. The six ministries are the Ministries of Information, Finance, Commerce, War, Law, and Health.
The Ministry of Law appoints a governor for each island in the Solar Empire, and each governor appoints an Attendant to govern individual settlements on notable size. Each governor must receive a sanction from a curate before he can accept his position. The Ministry of Law also drafts and enforces laws. The Ministry of Information controls what news is passed on to citizens and oversees the Academy. The Ministry of Finance oversees tithing to the Children and the distribution of wealth in the Empire. The Ministry of Commerce regulates trade and collects a cut of import profits to be sent to the Ministry of Finance. The Ministry of Health oversees issues of public welfare. The Ministry of War leads the military.
In addition to other offices of the faith, the Office of Orthodoxy holds a special rank within the Children. The curate chosen to lead the Office is assigned to root out heresy within the Solar Empire. The government affords the Office a great deal of leeway in pursuit of its ends.[/quote]