Once upon a time there was an omnipotent god, Raelifin the Loco. However, this god spent all of his time watching over his worlds and poking his followers with sharp sticks. He needed a break. "I need a break." he said. So, using his impossibly impossible powers he created a place where he could relax; tIP BaG was born. Made from only the finest chicken-resistant steel, tIP BaG was made to be completely morphic and serve anything so that deities around the miltiverse could sit back and enjoy their favorite food and drink in a nice social atmosphere.
Unfortunately, Raelifin failed to realize that there were gods that were far more loco than he, and there would be dark times ahead...
Rules:
You play as a deity who has near unlimited power. You'll just have a hard time messing with other deities.
Feel free to change the setting however you want and create things out of mid-air.
Have fun!
Sitting down on one of the many bar stools, Raelifin orders a broccoli smoothie and waits for other gods to show up...
From a shadowy corner comes the sound of a cough as Sunetos stirs slightly. He then rolls over, returning to his divine slumber. Little does he know that he is rapidly losing his many followers due to his endless napping. Right now he cares only for the pixies in his divine dream world. He can be heard to mutter softly, "mmm, chocolate..."
Surprised by the noise, Raelifin spins around on his stool and hurls a box of Turkish hats at the sleeping Sunetos. The resulting explosion causes a Turkish hat to land on Raelifin's head and in a moment of divine enlightenment the mad god descovers how cool Turkish hats can be....
Sunetos yawns, and is now sleeping on his divine left side. All Turkish hats near him spontaneously combust to their innate clash with his sense of reality.
At the same time, the innocuous looking deity Turambar enters the bar (or rather, moves the bar so that he is now standing in the middle of it) and orders some buffalo wings. When he is served some chicken-made dish, he complains. The waitress claims buffalo wings are supposed to be made of chicken, but Turambar says "not on my watch" and teleports the waitress into an alternate reality he just created where buffalos have wings.
Rolling his eyes back into his head, Raelifin lets the innate magical power of his Turkish hat come to life and produce a mime ninja song and dance troupe. Unfortunately the ninja mimes cannot be see or heard so they aren't very popular. :(
Turning to Turambar, Raelifin tries to make conversation... "Hail! It is the form of icy doom. I see the buffalo reign supreme, just like in my bathroom. (http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript?SK=312)"
"No, I am the form of icy doom." echoes a frigid voice. The floor in the center of the bar suddenly freezes, and from the ice emerges Xid.
Touching the nearest bar stool with a glimmering blue finger, the deity transforms the meager seat into a colossal throne of ice and comfortably places himself in it. A drop of violet and blue blood falls from his severed arm onto the floor, where it begins to produce several groping crystalline hands.
Turambar considers this for a while, but then replies: "Yonder behold the extent of my Might! And nice hat by the way!"
He then retreats to a corner seat, occasionally twitching oddly, and creating and destroying thousands of universes whenever he does so.
Manifesting by means of a package of old macaroni and the glue from Turambar's shoes, the great and magestic mass of Oblio, the brittle and noodly, rises up to tower over the peanuts. As he engulfs them he begins to chew, then start spitting them at the other patrons.
"Have at thee! Thou inferior beings of flesh. The power of glue and elbow macaroni has come for thee!"
Sunetos' other conciousness manifests a shield out of his cloak, leaving his primary conciousness to continure napping...
Raelifin leaps onto the bar and begins deflecting peanuts with an under-ripe banana.
"Back fiend! You shalt not disturb this place of rest unless you have a Place of Rest Disturberâ,¬,,¢s Permit!"
Wixocor, the Quasi-Deity of the Overgods walks in with a bunch of smiley faced buttons attached to himself. Immediately, he senses the disturbance in the Food Force and his eyes dart quickly around the room, utterly missing what is actually going on in front of him.
Lazily raising his remaining hand in the air, Xid's hand draws in and catches over a hundred of the flying peanuts, compressing them into a quantum singularity and freezing it on the spot. The harmless object falls to the ground, shattering with a tiny. The deity rises out of his throne, his frosty voice echoing from his very being as several peanuts freeze and fall from his tattered purple robe. "Assault me with peanuts?! What kind of petty being do you take me for?! Everyone knows that Turkish Delight is the ultimate weapon!"
Suddenly, the ice throne behind Xid explodes, adding thousands of icy shards to the fray of peanuts. A couple more droplets of blood fall from the deity's arm, adding to that already on the floor, which has now begun to produce many tiny arms to accompany the hands.
"Meeep!" Raelifin dives behind the bar in an attempt to not see any buffalo. "Peanuts were not meant to be frozen! What will the desert squirrels eat?!"
"I care not for permits," bellows Oblio, whipping out a liscence plate reading 883 PCK, "for I hold in my hand the Once and Future Liscence." Then, using that same liscence to bat aside the Fying Turkish delights, he discorporates and flow between the floorboards to emerge in a pile behind the bar.
Oblio has a White Russian, and then washes him down with a mixture of Vodka, Khalua and milk with ice.
"So, come here often?" Raelifin shapeshifts into a Hizix and hopes nobody knows what that is... >.<
[ic=sunetos] I roll over. again.[/ic]
[ooc]you know people, we might as well use these tags...
Oh, and i'll be sing first person or DM perspective from now on... Yay![/ooc]
[ic=Wixicor]
[dice]1d100[/dice] clones of me appear. However, that is too much energy for the universe to contain so they don't appear. I'll sit down and dominate the servant to pour some juice for me.
[/ic]
[ic=Oblio]I conjure a stick and commence to jab Sunetos.[/ic]
[ic=Sunetos]My secondary conciousness compels my cloak of Temporal Doom to shield my manifested form from Oblio's futile prodding.[/ic]
[ic=Oblio] I pick up 2 of the non-existant clones of Wixixcor and throw throw them at Sunetos in an attempt to break his sheild (reasoning throwing 2 gods should be more powerful than the shield of 1 god).
[ic=Poseidon] The doors open with a burst of salty air and an immense wave floods the bar as Poseidon enters. He briefly looks around at the other patrons. "I suppose they let any old god in this place nowadays", he says as he takes a seat at one of the barstools. A menu appears in his hands and he glances at it a moment before saying, "The lobster is always good." With that Poseidon reaches into the water and pulls out a two pound lobster and proceeds to bite into the crustacean's claw.[/ic]
[ic=Sunetos] Makes a loud and obnoxious yawing gesture/noise, then rolls over and goes back to sleep.[/ic]
[ic=Turambar]Turambar looks at the newly arrived deity curiously, snickers, and remarks: "Speaking of old gods, didn't your last worshipper die some 1500 years ago, and didn't you have to share power with like a few dozen other gods even back then, you polytheistic loser?"[/ic]
[ic=Poseidon] Poseidon puts down his lobster, which scampers off with part of its claw missing, and turns to the god addressing him. "Just wait till it happens to you. Some new god comes to town and the populus gets all stary eyed. You throw a couple of large waves, earthquakes, and storms at them to prove you still exist and they don't even bat an eye." He looks back at the counter displeased to find his lunch gone. "As for sharing power, we were family and weren't quite sharing power, but controlling different domains. There is a lot less stress this way." He holds his hand up and conjures a flask of greek wine[/ic]
[ic=Poseidon]"Well you would think Hades walked into the room" He grabs his lobster again and takes another bite. "Seems like an eternity since anybody has said anything".[/ic]
[ooc] Yeah I went to hades and recovered the soul of this old forum game[/ooc]
[ic=Hades]You rang?[/ic]
[ic=Poseidon]"Great now this pary will never get going again."[/ic]
A robed, hooded figure walks slowly into the bar. He has a large staff made of metal with a button in the center. His robe shoots off as he hits the button and the staff shortens and breaks off into two rods. He hits a button on both the rods and long light-beams shoot out from the end and remain there. He cackles madly and slices through a block of cheese that just a ppeared in front of him. He says, "Yog'urt, my name is. Jedi god, I am. BWAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
[ic]A young god whose domains appear to include sloth wanders into the bar. He is very sleepy-looking, but he musters enough focus to impose some will upon the seething waves of roiling possibility and convert one of them into a fouton. He then lies down thereon and orders a hot cocoa. "Man, I gotta get back to creating that world..."[/ic]
*when sloth-god's cocoa appears, uses Force to make it spill on his pants and then laughs, saying "HAH HAH! That dude just wet himself!*
[ic]In a weird-ass stream of consciousness Evangelion moment, the cocoa doesn't stop at the sleepy-looking god's crotch, but continues spreading over his entire body until cocoa is dripping off of him, then drizzling, then pouring in a font of hot cocoa that seeps over the floor, eventually inundating everything in the bar and beyond.
He turns to the Jedi God and replies. "Now look what you made me do. I just wet the whole world."[/ic]
[ic=hades]Damnit! At this rate, you'll make my ceiling leak![/ic]
[ic]World flood? Meh. Is there anyone here that actually cares about the problems of mortals?[/ic]