The Campaign Builder's Guild

Here. I've desided to start over, now that I have had some experience in creating campaigns, and the last one was bombed... :explode: To see the actual setting, go to the Homebrews setting.  http://www.thecbg.org/e107_plugins/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?55665.last (//hyperlinkurl) Thanks!

   The main idea of this campaign setting is to combine new, exciting aspects with classic earopean mideval theme. I have thought long and hard about how I was going to do this, and I have finally come up with enough information to post.




                         XEARIC    

      Xearic is a continent on a huge world, covered in mountain ranges, oceans, dense jungles and vast deserts. Magic exists in Xearic, woven into the universe like threads in a quilt, allowing those who have a method of it to harness the power of magic and use ti to their own will. Although magic users are common all throughout Xearic, people still fear and are somewhat superstitious about magic in normal human settlements, where magic and monsters seem far away, when in fact they are everywhere. Abominations and Undead, both creatures of artificial life, are stains on Xearic. Many exotic races live in Xearic, the humans, of course, but also elven hunters lurking in the forest; dwarves mining in halls of stone; strange elementaly based humanoids living spread out, mixed into other races cultures; short and agile halflings, masters of stealth; orc-kin, the scum of all the races, dull and crude yet great warriors; and of course the dragons, great beings of majesty and power, who live in mountains and swamps and create great hordes of treasure.

            Great divine figures hold sway over all the matter of the universe, all having a certain part of it that they take care of. These are referred to as Gods, goddesses, and Demi-gods. Although the many races of the world may worship these divine figures and make them appear in pictures as one of their own race, they are truly great masses of unthinkable energy and consience, holding sway over everything in the universe. The Gods may make an avatar of themselves, however. They may be born into a mortal's family, and then be a figure of divine influence in that races culture, but never can the actual god's energy all be manifested in one mortal body.

       Monsters ravage the face of Xearic also, demons and devils from an evil and horrible Underworld, or undead, created by evil wizards and witches all across Xearic, and then set free to kill at will. These monsters are less common then stories may say, however, and usually the greatest threats are warring with other races or econamical criseses. The orc kind, the orc and goblin scum, are one of the most hated races, and one of the least powerful. their great kingdom long destroyed in The War of the Woodlands {read up on it in the War section}, and then their great fortress destroyed by a human knight and his army, they are split up into small tribes living as Barbarians and nomads in the wilderness, trading with frontiersmen for furs and equipment. They are great survivors and very tough, but thanks to many generations of inbreeding to keep the race from extinction, the orcs are now dull and crude, and always hungering for a fight. This leads them to pillage and attack many villages of common folk all across Xearic, so they are often thought of as enemies of the common people.


         The terrain of Xearic is all depending on the climates. In the north, mountain ranges and great expanses of open plains are very common, dotted with small forests. The middle regions of Xearic are full of mountains and great pine and oak forests. The farther south you go, the warmer it gets, and more and more plains come into it turns into shrublands and eventually a great desert. The south is also full of great, untouched jungles full of ancient ruins and horrible creatures. A great inner sea splits down the middle of Xearic, bringing warm currents up to even the far north, letting small tropical forests grow around the water. The continent of Xearic is shaped like a giant, rough oval, with deep, dark and mysterious oceans on either side of it. No one has ever made it across the merciless and freezing tundra on top of Xearic, or across the vast dune sea on the bottom of Xearic. Many huge, open patches of wilderness still stand out in Xearic, but large countries with sprawling empires and political imbalance still exist close by, squabbling over rescources and small, petty things while their neighbors are crushed under a demon invasion. Oh, well, a little less trade and a little more rescources for my country.


       Most Human settlements are in the middle regions of Xearic, in the great plains, although there is a human country far up north and a huge, sprawling human empire down to the south in the desert. Dwarves live in the mountains, and elves in their forests and on their home continent.

Testing testing

The polls on the site don't actually work right now :/

How would you change the Firbolg to deepen them and make them a more playable, complex race?  I saw some good parts and some generic, typical ones.  

As for the Firbolg becoming deeper and more playable, i don't know how i'm going to do that. If anyone has any ideas please speak up, I am always open to suggestions and constructive critisism.


            Classes

    Fighter
The fighter is the bloodthirsty gladiator, the deadly bounty hunter, the noble warrior fighting for the king, all that and more. The fighter class in Xearic is all about skill with battle and weapons. Some fighters deside to become light fightning swashbucklers, others deside to be tough, brutal warriors, dressed in full plate and cleaving monsters in half with greatswords, and others yet are Barbarians, people from the far off wilderness dressed in furs and swinging a bone and stone great axe. This section offers many options and descriptions for Fighters.

             LIGHT FIGHTER {fighter}
       Prerequisites: Dexterity 15, Intelligence 15
       Benifit: You gain a +2 bonus to armor class and +4 to reflex defense when wearing cloth or leather armor. Also, choose one type of light blade. You gain a +4 to all attack rolls with this type of light blade.

            SWASHBUCKLER {fighter}
       Prerequisites: Dexterity 18, Intelligence 16, Level 5
       Benifit: Whenever an enemy misses your AC by more then five points you gain a +1 to Armor Class for the rest of the encounter. However many times the enemy misses by more then five, the effects stack and you gain +2, and +3.

            BARBARIAN {fighter}
       Prerequisites: Strength 16, Constitution 18
       Benifit: When you become bloodied you take a -4 to all attack rolls, but your speed doubles, and you add 2d12+ your Constitution score to all damage rolls.

Backrounds for Fighters

          These are just some ideas of the many backrounds you can use for your character. The name of the backround, if you choose one, can replace your class name if you so choose.
       
       Warsmith
 You are a smithy, crafting armor and weapons. Everyone looks at you as a craftsman for the town guard or militia, nothing more, but really you are a well trained fighter, a warrior who's day has passed and now you are a simple smithy. Or perhaps you sneak out sometimesm to practice with the sword or warhammer, or maybe your are an active part of the militia. The main idea is that you craft armor and weapons, yet you still fight.

       Veteran
 You have fought in a war, have beena warded a medal, and now have settled down. You still know the old moves, however, and the invaders make a mistake comimg by your house. Or perhaps you now lead the towns guards, or are an active representitive in the city council. the idea, however, is that you have fought in a brutal war, acheived great skill with weapons, and now are an experienced soldier, active or not.

      Bounty Hunter
 You were betrayed by everyone around you, cast out into the cold world, and now make a small living hunting down and killing other people. Or perhaps you are a noble member of the city council, but have not been happy with the politicians way of dealing with things and have become a vigilante. Or maybe you work in a sprawling metropilis, only hunting down and killing the bad guys, or the cheap, fancy merchants who spit on the poor men living in the mud. No matter what you are, the main idea is you kill people for some kind of profit, and this is your job.

     Streetfighter
 You have lived on the streets of a sprawling city state all your life. You never knew your parents, and have been raised by gansters and ruffians. The only way you can get to the top or get some coin is to fight for it, and the Streetfighter is all to good at fighting with anything he can. Or perhaps your a rich merchants son, but life hasn't been exciting enough for you so you sneak out at night to compete for fame on the streets. No matter the case, the main idea is that you are a brawler, you fight dirty and you fight to win.

     Guard
 You are royalty, and a member of the guard. You serve the king proudly, doing his services and protecting the good people of your village. You are a high class citizen, the King's bodyguard, accompanying him everywhere. That was, until he was assasinated of course. Or perhaps you are the law inforcement of a large town, your job to track down and lock up the bad guys. No matter the case, the main idea is that you enforce the laws of a certain community.

    Knight
 You are a chivrolous warrior of peace, royalty but not fancy and manicured. You're place is out on the battlefeild, leaving the leading for the commander and charging into battle, trying to make as much of a difference as possible, killing enemy after enemy. Or perhaps you are a manicured puffed up symbol of the King. No matter the case, the Knight is a well trained warrior with skill with the sword.

   Barbarian
You were born in a far off land, past the borders of civilization. You come from a tribe of primal people, nomads who followed herds of animals across the land. Or perhaps you come from a tribe of orcs living in caves in the mountains. No matter the case, the main idea of the Barbarian is a primal, terrifying warrior of brute strength and power, yet who is not very smart and wears only animal furs and carries a stone club or axe.

   

           

     ARCHER {fighter}
  Prerequisite: Strength 13, Dexterity 15
  Benefit: The Longbow, Shortbow, Lightcrossbow and Heavy crossbow are your choices. Choose one of these, and you gain a +4 to all attack rolls made with that weapon, and a +2 to all damage rolls made with that weapon.

Does everyone think I should post History or geography first?

As a rule, geography. While I naturally begin work with history most of the time, for readers to latch on to a setting, it helps to be able to visualize it. Especially, you should get a map, even if only a rough sketch.

Yeah, i have an Atlas of the world I made in a notebook. The thing is, I'm typing on a laptop and I don't have a printer. I'll try scanning them into the computer.

Pleaee, everyone post comments and crtisism.

What changes would everyone want for the Firbolg to make them more playable? I do want to keep them on the brink of extinction-it gives them some interesting fluff, and possible roleplaying opurtunities.

   As for the Treants-does anyone see anything wrong with them?

Religion


       Moradin
 Moradin is the God of creation. Churches of Moradin can be found in Human, Dwarf and Gnome cultures, but in dwarven culture he is excepted as the most common god. Moradin is also known as The Great Creator, or the Maker. His favored weapon is the warhammer.  The most common idea of Moradin is that he is a lawful neautral smither, but tends towards good alignment. He is often portrayed in Human and Dwarven culture as a great, armorerd dwarf. Moradin's worshipers include smithies, warriors and warpriests. Moradin's clerics are adept at creatings weapons and armor, and are often architects in dwarven culture, and are usually warpriests, leading troops out on the battlefeild.
     Moradin wants his followers to keep to the following:
-keep justice in your community, but fight the battles you must with pride and honor
-do not overlook the smallest creations, as even they may have an effect on fate
-always try to create things while you can, be it a hammer or a kingdom


       Melora
 Melora is the Goddess of the wilderness. Churches of Melora can be found in all cultures, but Melora is excepted in Wood Elven culture as the most common religion. Her churches are often found in wooden huts in the woods, or at coastal villages on a small rocky island off the shore. Melora is worshiped by sailors and their families, as well as hunters and rangers. Her clerics are known to have a certain affinity to nature. These clerics are called druids, and often create shrines in groves of trees or in small dwellings in the wilderness.
          Melora wants the following of her followers:
-never deliberatly harm nature unless it is to stop others who would do more harm to nature
-do not question the primal power of nature
-try to destroy unatural creatures such as undead and aberations whenever possible


                 Detramine
  Detramine is the neautral god of war. He does not care of his followers overall intentions as long as they are honorable and uphold the rules of battle. He is worshiped in all warring cultures, but Humans, Halflings and all Elves are cautious about praying to him, as he seems to harsh for them. But dwarves will do anything to protect their clans and homes from invaders, and Detramine upholds honor and fair battle most of all, so he is a good fit for them, but not as close to the dwarves as Moradin. Orc-kin worship him much, but more orcs then goblins, goblins preffering to use stealth. Some, less honorable orcs, however fail to uphold honor and fair battle, and slaughter, plunder and rape the innocent.
     Detramine wants the following from his following:
-never be cowardice or back down from a fight
-do not use unfair tactics such as sending in spys posing as friends or such
-using tactis that involve strait battle are incouraged
-never be dishonorable, and when someone surrenders spare them and take them as prisoner, and never kill innocents


                        Mercalintinae
   Mercalintinae is the good goddess of magic. She wishes peace and the creation of new spells to uphold peace. High Elves worship her most of all. Her temples can also be found sparsely in human culture, and they are often places of high magic. Her followers are usually multi-class cleric/wizards, fighter/wizards, and plain wizards.
       Mercalintinae wants the following from her followers:
-to never use magic for violence unless it is to protect the innocent or for a goodly cause
-create spells and always look for new ways to use magic and uphold justice
-never create disatrous spells

                      Beltwar
    Beltwar is the good god of knowledge and scholars, and is worshiped in all cultures, but mostly High Elves, Humans and Dwarves, as all of those races create great museaums and libraries. In colleges and universities he has many shrines, and it is part of the students curriculem to pray to Beltwar. Beltwar wishes that ancient ruins and great mountains should be explored to find knowledge of those far off places, so he favors adventurers and explorers. He also loves the scholors and bookkeepers that keep track of knowledge and history. His churches are usually large libraries, and in ancient temples and such. Imperial humans worship him as their second god.
          Beltwar wants the following from his followers:
-never destroy books, libraries and scrolls
-always keep track of events in your life in journals and notebooks
-always revere knowledge, but never risk a living things life for it

                       Pelor
 Pelor is the good god of law, justice and order. He wants to keep the innocent alive and happy, and destroy all evil. He is the most important god in Imperial Human culture, seconded by Beltwar. Guards and their families often worship him. His churches are always orderly, clean and well guarded. His clerics often help with law enforcement. He also has some shrines in Dwarf culture. Pelor is a populor god for Paladins.
           Pelor wants the following from his followers:
-do not ever harm the innocent or do unjustice
-do not harm guards and upholders of peace
-always keep order and good as your highest prioarities


                        Vecna
         Vecna is the evil goddess of dark magic and persausion. She has many cults dedicated to her evil influence. Her followers are evil clerics, rogues and wizards. Vecna opposes Pelor most of all, and her followers often try to assassinate priests and acolytes of Pelor. Vecna's wizard followers feel it is her highest wish for them to create undead creatures to oppose the innocent. Vecna's highest wish is to overthrow the religion of Pelor, slaughter all his followers, and take his place and his influence over the good people. Dark Elves are most commonly found to worship Vecna.
          Vecna wishes the following of her followers:
-Kill all followers of Pelor on sight, even if it means risking your life
-corrupt all goodly churches
-try to plant dark thoughts in goodly leaders minds, to corrupt entire empires and armies

                          Zentrad
           Zentrad is the evil god of tyranny, his followers usually cults of corrupted humans. His followers try to slaughter innocents and goodly people, and trying to overthrow empires of good and create evil kingdoms. His cults are not yet strong enough, but he grants some the power to summon demons and devils from the Underworld. This, once he gains enough power to sends rampaging demon hordes from the Underworld into the great empires of Xearic, could be a huge problem.
             Zentrad wants the following from his followers:
-kill innocents and get slaves if you have the chance
-show no mercy
-try to corrupt armies and kingdoms to sew chaos into them
                     

I want to post the races of Xearic, but I can't until I figure out how to copy and paste from the DM's toolkit.

Wood Elf
  Quick, wary hunters that roam the wilds freely.
   Racial Traits   Average Height: 5'7''-6'3''
 Average Weight: 75lbs-125lbs
 Ability Scores: +2 Dexterity, +2 Strength
 Size: Medium
 Speed: 7 Vision:
 Low-light
 Languages: Common, Elven
 Skill Bonuses: +2 Nature, +2 Athletics  
     Wood Elves and High Elves were once one, living on their Island continent in peace. But then they began to argue with their own, and a branch of them, dark skinned and light haired, attacked. Many elves were driven from their homeland, fleeing to the shores of a strange land. Others stayed and fought, driving the rebelling elves to the far corners of the earth and beyond, even beneath the surface of the earth. The Elves that had fleed to the strange land called Xearic call themselves Sictrictia Derentia, or in the common tongue, Wood Elves. The other elves are named the High elves, still living on their island continent, but made grim and serious after the war with the vengeful dark elves. The Wood Elves have taken on new homes in the forests of Xearic, adapting and befriending the Humans, the Dwarves, and the Halflings. They live in tree-top cities, tree houses formed out of the branches and trees themselves to create villages for the Wood Elves. Some of the highest regarded members of Wood Elf society are the hunters, masters of tracking and the bow, their stealth and precision unmatched. Nature Adepts are the officers of their villages, enforcing the very few laws. Wood Elf laws include simple yet import things such as: Murder and killing of innocents of any friendly race is punishable by death, Robbery is frowned upon and given a large fine for, and damaging, burning or in any other way defiling nature will put the perpatrator in prison. Wood Elves enjoy the simple things in life such as dancing, singing, merrymaking and partying. They also enjoy tests of physical strength such as climbing and running contests, or archery tournements. When faced with an enemy, however, they become grim and eager to defend themselves and destroy the enemy.  Play a Wood Elf if you want...  

    Physical Qualities
   Wood Elves are strong, quick and agile, able to run across branches, leap from tree to tree and blend into almost any woodland enviroment. They have skin ranging from a light brown to a golden color, eyes that are usually dark brown or green, and hair that is either dirty blond, moss green or many different shades of brown. They usually get tatooes that let them camaflouge them into their enviroment, like brown stripes on the face or one large green stripe on their arms and chest. Wood Elves live for about three hundred years, much shorter then their High Elven cousins, but still much longer then Human and Halfling lifespans.  

     Playing a Wood Elf
    When roleplaying Wood Elves keep in mid that they hate war but enjoy non-violent debates as it gets them thinking, and enjoy proving themselves but they accept it happily when they are wrong. They become grim and angered when other races, particularly Dwarves, as they favor underground cities, critisize the forest and their idea of things.  Wood Elves are eager to help, but rebellious and defiant when it goes against what they perceive as right. They are always eager for good food, partying and drinks.  
  Male Names: Deberick, Siamlan, Sinliam, Zibreck, Zackerix, Legolas, Eberick, Frickden, and Belsrin  
  Female Names: Diania, Miansia, Margaretsi, Kelli, Mistrinia, Aannia, and Filstrignia

   Here is the Wood Elf for Xearic. Please, post anything that comes to your mind. I know this does not seem very original, and very similiar to the PHBs elf, but many more original races are coming. These is just a rewrite of the player handbook elf for my setting.  

Classes

           Rogue
 The crafty theif, the devilish assassin, the mysterious renegade, the wanted rebel, the one who steals from the rich and gives to the poor, the swashbuckling pirate, and the persuasive diplomat. These could all be rogues. Rogues are men and women who use stealth, agility and/or persausion to get what they want. Some are friendly, good humored trickters, and others are stealthy, blackhearted assassins. The main idea of a rogue is a not so strong or tough guy that accomplishes things with extreme skill in the arts of stealth, persausion, theivary and cunning. Some rogues are great with weapons and somewhat tough, and others are renegade martial artists that can jump great distances and run on walls, and use their hands for fighting. Rogues in Xearic can be dozens of different things. Some can be trickster mages, even, or cunning, diabolical warlocks. The possibilities are endless. But some of the most common ones are spies, theives, pirates and rebels.

                Feats

   STEALTHY {rogue}
Prerequisites: Stealth skill atleast +7, Dexterity 15
Benefit: Whenever you are moving slowly, you do not make any noise {even if you are wearing something like clattering chains or bells} and you gain a +4 to all Stealth and Perception checks.

   ACROBAT {rogue}
Prerequisites: Weight Below 150lbs, Dexterity 18
Benefit: Whenever you roll a jump check, you get a +3 bonus, and you can climb any surface that has atleast some edges or even the slightest tilt to it.

   EXPERT THEIF {rogue}
Prerequisites: Stealth +8 or more, Intelligence 15
Benefit: You gain a +5 to a Stealth check made to try to lift an object or walk across a surface that would usually make alot of noise.

   ASSASSIN"S BLOW {rogue}
Prerequisites: Level 10, Sneak Attack, Strength 13
Benefit: Whenever you make a Sneak Attack to an opponent that is completely unaware of you, you gain a +3d10 damage to the attack.

   PIRATE {rogue}
Prerequisites: Dexterity 13, Intelligence 13, must have spent atleast three years of life living near or on the ocean, Level 5
Benefit: You are wise in the ways of the sea, and how to cut a purse. You gain a +5 bonus on Intelligence or Wisdom checks to predict the weather or steer a ship. You gain a +5 bonus to pickpocketing and open lock checks.




   

Please, comments and critisisn.

How do you make the link to the setting in your signature?

[url=url]link name[/url]

And I think your first sig statement should use the word "you're."  :demon:

Vecna is a goddess now?

Yeah, I desided to make Vecna a gooddess, just to change something up. If I use the core gods names, I atleast want to change some stuff about them.

You may also want to link to this thread from the setting thread. Right there at the top, in the "Please post all comments somewhere else" statement, would be an excellent place to do so.

All issues of confusion associated with using familiar names with surprising changes aside, I wonder why your gods need gender or other physical traits at all. You make a point of distancing them from mortal bodies and mortal traits, bringing them closer to vast, impersonal forces. Maybe mortals think of these weird and complicated forces in personified terms to make things easier, but that doesn't mean the gods actually need to have such "fleshy" traits.

I never really like seeing orcs, goblins, and their ilk demoted to minor dangers, because I think it removes much of their potential. However, I like your use of history to do so (the War of the Woodlands).

I guess I am mostly just disappointed that currently so much of your thread's information is concerned with classes and feats and other things I don't really care about much?

Thanks for everything, and will certainly put a link at the top of the page. I'm about to post some Geography, and then i'll get some history up. But, just since you mentioned it, i'll post the history for the War of the Woodlands up.

The War of the Woodlands
Long ago, when human were still a very primal tribal species, it was mostly the elven-kind and orc-kind that populated the world. The elves lived in the trees and forests, mingling and practicing their martial arts. The orcs traded with them. Some even settling down in the elven villages, as the orcs moved through the elven forest cities and across the wilderness, migrating with the herds of Bison that was their main food source. But, their relationship grew rusty, their differences getting in the way of their friendship. Small skirmishes erupted between the strong, tough and brawny orcs, and the nimble, quick elves.

At first politicians on both sides attempted to stop the riots, but the orc cheiftans found the war good for the economy. The goblins, who were always the lesser, poor citizens of orc society,generaly because they had a cruel, malicious streak, were made slaves by the orc cheiftan's. Many orc tribes united under one banner. The goblin slaves were used to make weapons, armor and genral physical labor. The goblins slaves became more useful when the orc men began to be drafted into the Orcish army. Outposts were constructed, but the orc tried to make them seem peaceful frontier settlements, and attempted to make it appear as nothing was wrong. In truth they were planning to strike the elves when they least expected it, burning their forests and taking their people as slaves.

The elves weren't buying it. They noticed the goblin slaves being worked nearly to death, emaciated and starving. The elves also took note of the outposts. They began buileding their own army, but not in time.

The orcs struck, their soldiers pouring into the elves forest homes, burning and pillaging. Most elven citizens had atleast minor training with the bow and blade, so the elves defense was not meager, but the sheer size of the orc force nearly overwhelmed the many elf tribes in the forests. The orc army had split up, striking mkany different forests with full help arrived after a primitive elven wizard sent a call to the Feywild. Eladrin mages and warriors poured in through portals, blasting the orcs and wreaking havoc with lightning bolts, fireballs and arrows flying free. The elves got their chance to regroup, and also united under one banner, the elves and the orcs were even, and it seemed as if the Eladrin, despite their unfriendliness with the elves, came in their time of need anyway. The orcs, however, weren't done yet. They enlisted the aid of ogres and hill giants, many of them hauling seige mach9ines into battle. In this time of war, each generation of orcs got duller qand duller-much interbreeding in homes was going on because most of the orc men were away at war. Many orforce, giving no chance to retaliate. At first it seemed that it would be a massacre. But then c-goblin crosses also appeared. This was a very crucial part in the war, a mistake of the tribal leaders, something thyat would lead the orcs to eventually be thought of as a dull, crude and Barbarian species.



Both the elves and the orc had heroes arise in this time of war, and heroes fall. This war shaped much of the northland-many forests were burned, eventually creating prairies and plains.Orc villages were also destroyed, another factor leading to the failure of their race.

The elves slowly won out, their skill with the bow and ability to move through the trees with unmatched speed let them strike down entire orc parties without a single one of their soldiers being killed or even injured. The elves had their losses, though-many of their great cities were destroyed, along with beautiful forests.

Even though the elves won the War of the Woodlands, the surviving orcs moved west and created a great orc kingdom, with most of the economy ran by goblin slaves. The orcs had a new leader, one powerful, intelligent and pure of blood-the name was Brass-Knuckles Thistlethorns. He was half powerful ogre half-pure blood orc. He planned on leading the orcs to great conquest to burn the elven forests and enslave the other races like the feral halflings and digging dwarves. There was one problem with there plan, a problem they'd soon have to deal with, a wild, primal race of Barbarians that has just made some breakthroughs in culture and society, and is well on their way to success-Man.

PLEASE. Anyone who looks at this just look over my setting on the Homebrew thread and tell me what you think of it. I will respond to everything.

Okay. Is it this hard? I see alot of views. No posts. Simply post what you think of it-there's a link at the top of the page!!

         I'm seriously sorry, it just seems like im doing all this work but no one is even commenting or anything. I need constructive critisism!!! Sorry again, extremely sorry, just getting somewhat irritated.

Quote from: DrizztrocksOkay. Is it this hard? I see alot of views. No posts. Simply post what you think of it-there's a link at the top of the page!!

         I'm seriously sorry, it just seems like im doing all this work but no one is even commenting or anything. I need constructive critisism!!! Sorry again, extremely sorry, just getting somewhat irritated.

DR,
Let me reprise a comment I have made a few dozen times before.  Want some responses to your setting thread?  Give some feedback on some other settings.  I don't know what anyone is thinking expecting all the intellectual altruists to spend valuable time and effort looking over a thread and positing plusses and negatives for no reason.  
Seriously.  Anytime I am feeling the urge to scare some readers with my setting or get some feedback, I go on a binge of commenting on stuff on other threads.  SOmetimes I get the responses, the rest of the time I at least feel justified in sneering at the folks who post but don't review.
I don't aim this just at you, as I'll abscond with any nearby soapbox, but I will proclaim once again that 'This site is a cooperative enterpise'.  Post and review in equal amounts, and your work will get love.

I've looked over the Xearic thread and perhaps I can offer a few constructive criticisms.  I haven't been a member long but I've lurked for a while, and one thing I can suggest is tidying up your posts a bit.  I know that's a boring formatting thing, but it will make things easier for readers.  Your recent entries have been better, but some of the earlier posts are a bit cramped and crowded (no spaces between titles or new paragraphs, etc), and you don't make much use of bold or different sizes.  Like I said, that's just a technical thing.

Crunch really doesn't interest me too much so I won't comment much on it.  Looks like pretty standard stuff.

Fluffwise, there are a few things I laiked quite a bit.  The desert metropolis (Celtrickdim?  I forget exactly how to spell it) has potential - I like the idea of tensions between the hobgoblins and how that conflict gets transformed once its transplanted into an urban setting.  Plus sewers are always fun.  I also really, really liked the small snippet on Beltruce, the Town of Lost Hope.  I like the idea of crocodile-riding marshy halfing kinife-fighters - I get an image of rather sinister bayou-dwelling rogues - though most of your halfings seem to be of the standard hobbity type.

You say at the beginning of the thread that "The main idea of this campaign setting is to combine new, exciting aspects with classic earopean mideval theme."  I guess I'm just not seeing enough of the new stuff to hold my interest for too long.  Xearic looks like a pretty standard 4th edition DnD world with a fairly lush geography, but otherwise its not dissimilar to Greyhawk or the Forgotten Realms, including the deities.  You've got orcs and elves fighting, hobbits living in hills, an Underworld where demons and devils live, tweaked a bit from the standard planes but not drastically changed, etc.

What I'm trying to say is, what makes Xearic particularly unique?  What differentiates it from Greyhawk or the Realms?  Yeah those are good settings - I mean not really my cup of tea, granted, but totally rich, deserving settings - but they've kind of monopolized the "medieval europe but-with-fantasy races" thing.  I'm usually in favor of chucking out the standard races right at the start, but you don't have to do that either to make a different-feeling setting.  Eberron does it by throwing in a lot of pulpy stuff - trains and robots and noir mystery and an emphasis on exploration and mystery.  Iron Kingdoms - probably my favorite published setting taht uses the standard races - adds huge amountsof steam-tech and transplants the usual tropes to a sort of quasi-Victorian or late 18th century setting.  Dark Sun puts it all in a giant desert, makes magic environmentally destuctive, etc.  Have a look at Synid, melchior's increasingly cool setting, which is replete with sumerian and mesoamerican influences (or for that matter the much older and thus thoroughly developed Xiluh, also a great mesoamerican setting).  They all take the standard array of races and classes and mess with it somehow.

You've clearly put a lot of effort and hard work into writing your material, and none of its  bad its just that - at least to me - it feels like you're going over already well-trodden ground.  I'm not trying to be discouraging - you should definitely keep posting materil and keep world-building, and I can tell that you enjoy the creative process - but I suggest trying to push the envelope a bit more.  The fantastic is not limited to the stuff in the PHB or in Tolkien's Middle Earth or the Realms; it can encompass a lot more, and the most exciting settings deviate in some way from that core of good but rather overused material.

Quote from: LordVreeg

Quote from: DrizztrocksOkay. Is it this hard? I see alot of views. No posts. Simply post what you think of it-there's a link at the top of the page!!

         I'm seriously sorry, it just seems like im doing all this work but no one is even commenting or anything. I need constructive critisism!!! Sorry again, extremely sorry, just getting somewhat irritated.

DR,
Let me reprise a comment I have made a few dozen times before.  Want some responses to your setting thread?  Give some feedback on some other settings.  I don't know what anyone is thinking expecting all the intellectual altruists to spend valuable time and effort looking over a thread and positing plusses and negatives for no reason.  
Seriously.  Anytime I am feeling the urge to scare some readers with my setting or get some feedback, I go on a binge of commenting on stuff on other threads.  SOmetimes I get the responses, the rest of the time I at least feel justified in sneering at the folks who post but don't review.
I don't aim this just at you, as I'll abscond with any nearby soapbox, but I will proclaim once again that 'This site is a cooperative enterpise'.  Post and review in equal amounts, and your work will get love.

      Well, if you look over a myriad of other Campaign Settings, I have contributed to the Faded Campaign Setting and the Clockwork Jungle greatly, and have looked over many many other settings and have contributed to a large amount of them, even if it was one comment. I'm also acctively on some of the different magic systems floating around the boards. I guess i'm just trying to say that....well, I'm not sure. But thank you for offering that, I will make sure that I am aware that I am contributing equally to what I expect, which I beleive I have.

Quote from: SteerpikeI've looked over the Xearic thread and perhaps I can offer a few constructive criticisms.  I haven't been a member long but I've lurked for a while, and one thing I can suggest is tidying up your posts a bit.  I know that's a boring formatting thing, but it will make things easier for readers.  Your recent entries have been better, but some of the earlier posts are a bit cramped and crowded (no spaces between titles or new paragraphs, etc), and you don't make much use of bold or different sizes.  Like I said, that's just a technical thing.

Crunch really doesn't interest me too much so I won't comment much on it.  Looks like pretty standard stuff.

Fluffwise, there are a few things I laiked quite a bit.  The desert metropolis (Celtrickdim?  I forget exactly how to spell it) has potential - I like the idea of tensions between the hobgoblins and how that conflict gets transformed once its transplanted into an urban setting.  Plus sewers are always fun.  I also really, really liked the small snippet on Beltruce, the Town of Lost Hope.  I like the idea of crocodile-riding marshy halfing kinife-fighters - I get an image of rather sinister bayou-dwelling rogues - though most of your halfings seem to be of the standard hobbity type.

You say at the beginning of the thread that "The main idea of this campaign setting is to combine new, exciting aspects with classic earopean mideval theme."  I guess I'm just not seeing enough of the new stuff to hold my interest for too long.  Xearic looks like a pretty standard 4th edition DnD world with a fairly lush geography, but otherwise its not dissimilar to Greyhawk or the Forgotten Realms, including the deities.  You've got orcs and elves fighting, hobbits living in hills, an Underworld where demons and devils live, tweaked a bit from the standard planes but not drastically changed, etc.

What I'm trying to say is, what makes Xearic particularly unique?  What differentiates it from Greyhawk or the Realms?  Yeah those are good settings - I mean not really my cup of tea, granted, but totally rich, deserving settings - but they've kind of monopolized the "medieval europe but-with-fantasy races" thing.  I'm usually in favor of chucking out the standard races right at the start, but you don't have to do that either to make a different-feeling setting.  Eberron does it by throwing in a lot of pulpy stuff - trains and robots and noir mystery and an emphasis on exploration and mystery.  Iron Kingdoms - probably my favorite published setting taht uses the standard races - adds huge amountsof steam-tech and transplants the usual tropes to a sort of quasi-Victorian or late 18th century setting.  Dark Sun puts it all in a giant desert, makes magic environmentally destuctive, etc.  Have a look at Synid, melchior's increasingly cool setting, which is replete with sumerian and mesoamerican influences (or for that matter the much older and thus thoroughly developed Xiluh, also a great mesoamerican setting).  They all take the standard array of races and classes and mess with it somehow.

You've clearly put a lot of effort and hard work into writing your material, and none of its  bad its just that - at least to me - it feels like you're going over already well-trodden ground.  I'm not trying to be discouraging - you should definitely keep posting materil and keep world-building, and I can tell that you enjoy the creative process - but I suggest trying to push the envelope a bit more.  The fantastic is not limited to the stuff in the PHB or in Tolkien's Middle Earth or the Realms; it can encompass a lot more, and the most exciting settings deviate in some way from that core of good but rather overused material.

         Thank you so much. This is the exact kind of reveiw I love, that shows a completely honest opinion of how my setting looks. Thank you so much, I love this as this allows me to go back, make some major changes, and come out with a better campaign setting. Thank you!

When it comes down to it really, from what I've seen so far you can probably do away with races in favor of cultures and ethnic groups. All of these races aren't necessary, especially if you're trying to add outside of the ever-popular standard of humans, elves, dwarves, orcs, and halflings.

Most people at this point are looking for either something that changes the wheel from a circle into a square but makes it go faster, or are looking for something that shocks them like putting forks between your fingers and stabbing a fuse box - this is very standard D&D, very standard beginner's campaign design. Don't be discouraged by this, though - we all start somewhere.

Umm...thanks? But do you here yourself? This is a very basic beginner campaign setting, but don't be discouraged. So your telling me that it is basic and beginners, but I should continue to waste time doing it anyway??? Did I read that right?

Okay, so maybe that was a little rude. But I want ideas on how to change the setting so that it is more exciting, more playable and all around better. And if it seems kind of core, it is semi-based on a series of novels I am writing, so the world kind of has to be the same. But luckily the novels only take place in a small area {the north and small portions of southern jungle} so I have nearly complete freedom on all other areas. But I cannot change huge major things like races.

        That being known, I was thinking of starting AGAIN. This time including some kind of skill sytem somewhat like Celtricia's. Classes could just be sets of trainable skills. What does everyone think of this?

Quote from: DrizztrocksOkay, so maybe that was a little rude. But I want ideas on how to change the setting so that it is more exciting, more playable and all around better. And if it seems kind of core, it is semi-based on a series of novels I am writing, so the world kind of has to be the same. But luckily the novels only take place in a small area {the north and small portions of southern jungle} so I have nearly complete freedom on all other areas. But I cannot change huge major things like races.

        That being known, I was thinking of starting AGAIN. This time including some kind of skill sytem somewhat like Celtricia's. Classes could just be sets of trainable skills. What does everyone think of this?

UMM...OOOPS?
I find your enthusiasm and candor refreshing.  
ANother way to look at what the Trollish Joker is saying is to delve into the cultures as much as the races.  Are all races living seperately?  who lives together?  what aprts of a culture do they share, or not?  Is every orc and every elf at war, or are there areas where they coexist or even work together?  Is there idiosyncratic magic or types of casting?

Although I will admit I haven't read the entirety of the setting, I will offer this:

Most of the feedback I see you getting so far is along the lines of "good, but unoriginal"

Now, I don't know whether this is the case or not, but maybe your intent is just to make a good, solid campaign setting for you and your group to play in and enjoy? Maybe you're not trying to break any new ground?

If this is the case please, please don't feel you have to warp your world to conform to the tastes and opinions of the likes of us! Much as I love bizarre, outlandish settings, I recognise that the more mundane certainly have their place, for a certain style of game - and maybe it's that style of game you aim to run.

Basically, what I'm saying is, if YOU think your setting is good for YOUR purposes, don't feel pressured into changing it just because it doesn't conform to other people's preferences.

Quote from: DrizztrocksUmm...thanks? But do you here yourself? This is a very basic beginner campaign setting, but don't be discouraged. So your telling me that it is basic and beginners, but I should continue to waste time doing it anyway??? Did I read that right?

What I'm saying is this setting looks like most others when someone starts writing settings, and you shouldn't be discouraged just because it's not all that original. Campaign design is a process of growth. What you should do at this point is take the advice from other posters here and edit your setting, but don't just edit grammar and punctuation to make it easier to read - take a look at all of the material you've got and see if some of it can't be merged together or removed entirely. D&D's core settings have the issue of having too much in them even if they are trying to be diverse settings, and it'd be a shame to see yours do the same.

Thank you for clarifying that, I will certainly try to change it to make it more original.

Quote from: LordVreeg

Quote from: DrizztrocksOkay, so maybe that was a little rude. But I want ideas on how to change the setting so that it is more exciting, more playable and all around better. And if it seems kind of core, it is semi-based on a series of novels I am writing, so the world kind of has to be the same. But luckily the novels only take place in a small area {the north and small portions of southern jungle} so I have nearly complete freedom on all other areas. But I cannot change huge major things like races.

        That being known, I was thinking of starting AGAIN. This time including some kind of skill sytem somewhat like Celtricia's. Classes could just be sets of trainable skills. What does everyone think of this?

UMM...OOOPS?
I find your enthusiasm and candor refreshing.  
ANother way to look at what the Trollish Joker is saying is to delve into the cultures as much as the races.  Are all races living seperately?  who lives together?  what aprts of a culture do they share, or not?  Is every orc and every elf at war, or are there areas where they coexist or even work together?  Is there idiosyncratic magic or types of casting?

   Yeah...I was extremely tired last night when I posted this and my mind was jumping to crazy conclusions. I am NOT starting this setting over, and have already went through that. No way. And i'm not using any abstract skill system either. And it really is just that I need a setting for my players to play in, and a novel series to be based on, so sorry if its not original enough, but i'm trying to make it unique while still fitting in a familiar scope for my players and not screwing with the material in my book.

Quote from: DrizztrocksI'm trying to make it unique while still fitting ... the material in my book.

This is an admirable goal, and with many systems, it's a very delicate balance. I can't count the number of times I tried referencing the PHB when I was starting Xiluh, trying to do the same thing. A suggestion that you can accept or dismiss as you see fit, is to loosen up a little on this sort of balancing act. Eventually you'll have to either give up some of that originality in order to "stick to the books", or give up core rules (either by getting rid of them, or adding on to them) for the sake of original material.

Here's the good news: either choice is fine. It's when you try to stretch yourself thin by trying to accomplish both as much as possible that your material starts to suffer. This is true with any creative endeavor. Just find what you want to do with this, and continue to do it to the best of your ability. Try not to worry too much about balancing acts, and you'll find they go away pretty quickly, along with all the challenges they present.

Alright, as you said the setting isn't particularly original, but it has a comfortable feel to it. I do see a lot of resemblances to Forgotten Realms, and gathering from your name your a fan (of the older stuff at least).

For Buffalo, having a huge mile wide circle in the center of town isn't a good idea, it just makes traveling to different parts of town harder, especially with all the traffic going on in the market. Now I'm also curious as to why you named the town Buffalo?

Funny as it is, I have to say I like Beltruce, spider vampires are a cool idea. Now for the ruins of Durgrrim, they seem to be between Iron Fist and the more settled areas of Triscan, yet its infested with Orcs. Its potentially a huge threat and aside from adventurers nothing really seems to be done with it, now if I'm mixing up the geography of it, and Iron Fist is between it and most of the settled areas no problem, my bad.

Another thing, something I mentioned in Sahajjinn is the spacing, I personally think you should double space between underline towns and their descriptions, huge blocks of text are hard (for me at least) to read in forums.

I like your Feywild and Shadowfell, them being other planets is a nice distinction from them just being other "planes". Now the moon caught my attention in that its covered in snow and ice, does it sometimes warm up a bit for some reason, gaining a lot of liquid water? Do parts of the moon break off, to fall onto Xearic in huge chucks of ice or enormous globs of water?

The Underworld and the Abyss fit together nicely, and they make a good sort of hellish realm. Now one thing I would like to say is the Black Rock, the name while perfectly apt, just doesn't seem to fit.

Now as to getting into the Underworld by jumping into a volcano, wonder who figured that one out? Seems like a possible way for someone who was sacrificed to come back and cause a great deal of trouble to whoever sacrificed them. If they manage to survive there stint in the Underworld.

I like the idea of people living in between boulders in the desert, maybe carving out extra room. Now for the underground area, under the mountains, controlled by the powerful Necromancer, does he have any connection to the Shadowfell? However it does look like the Necromancer doesn't control all the undead, as they fight amongst themselves, are these just random undead who slipped under his control? Or are there multiple factions vying for the control of all these undead? A civil war kinda thing.

All the crossbows being made, I was curious as to what they were made from, I doubt it's wood as there are normally few trees in a desert. Are they made from bone? Sandworm plates? Also are Skimitars similar to scimitars? Being like swords? Or are they something else?

The Savannalands seem well thought out, lots of herd animals it looks like, with wyverns preying on them. About the savanna goblins, how big of a threat are they? It doesn't look like form any overarching nation, so tribes of Feildmen would just have to deal with whatever goblin tribes they encounter?

Not much to say about Seltoria and the Sunsea marshes, although I am curious as to what the dwarves do here. It also seems like it would be a big hub for people gathering alchemical components and things. Marshes would have all kinds of different plants and soils to sample from.\

Quick note, for the Orc-kin and Wood Elves, when you say they were calling each other traders, I'm guessing you mean traitors.

The Orcs seem to have become a fallen race simply because the one king. Were there other Orc nations, that didn't participate in the War of the Woods? So are modern Orcs are just the descendants of the Orcs who lost the war?

Skimitars is my mispronounciation of scimitars. {oops...}
   
   The crossbows are made from long, thin parts of rock and bone.

   Sorry if my directions are off, Durggrim is actually to the west of Ironfist and up far north.

   Traders and traitors....another one of my late night illiteracies. {I seriously dought I just spelled illiterate right.}

   Karahd Zidum was the homeland of the orcs at that time, and although there was other small tribes of orcs in the mountains and through the forest, they slowly decipated.

    I'm sorry for all my mistakes in spelling and such, I eventually go back and edit everything

    I might go back and double space my righting tonight... {I would just change righting to writing but the sheer hilarity of me actually thinking that is how you spell writing is just funny. Hehe

   

Quote from: DrizztrocksTraders and traitors....another one of my late night illiteracies. {I seriously dought I just spelled illiterate right.}

You got it right. You misspelled "doubt", though...

Ow wel./

I did alot of copying, pasting, deleting, etc. Took a while, but the end result is more organized and should be easier to read and understand. I now have three seperate Xearic threads. This thread, the discussion thread, the Xearic Campaign Setting thread, which is now only for story and fluff purposes, and the Xearic Crunch Thread, where all the crunchy stuff goes. I also deleted the alchemy thingy. It was an impulse to create it, and it was confusing and had no point. Now i'm gonna work on getting rid of all the crap on this thread that isn't part of the discussion {the story content in the beggining}.

You mentioned a map, but I can't find it...

I like the first two paragraphs in your history of magic thread quite a lot - a relatively original take on magic that is as much "alternate physics" as a theory of magic.  The division between Mages/Wizards you establish in the latter part of the history feels more or less like a retread of DnD's standard magic divisions these days, so while I get that you want to keep that division and keep Xearic in sync with DnD crunch, I don't have much to say about that part of the history.

I understand that you're still developing as a writer, but perhaps some constructive criticism to point out where your language, to me, is lagging might be helpful?

[blockquote=Drizztrocks]Most things are completely composed of Der. But Tetri and Berbeli both have life strands woven into them, allowing them the ability to have a mind and move at will. Berbeli have extremely slower minds, processing a thought an hour. This is okay, however, as most Berbeli strands are tough, resilient and live for many centuries.[/blockquote]

These lines provide a good example... I feel that while you're communicating your essential ideas, you could do so more eloquently.  "...the ability to have a mind and move at will" for example, is a very clunky construction.  Consider this rewrite of these lines: "Tetri and Berbeli have strands of vitality woven into them, infusing them with sapience [or just "intelligence" or "self-awareness" or "consciousness"] and animation.  Berbeli have plodding, vegetative consciousnesses, though they compensate for this lack of cerebral fortitude through their physical resilience and centuries-long lifespans."  I probably swing too far in the other direction (overly poetic and lush - I resent the term "wordy" because to me that connotes poor sentence structure/cludiness somehow, rather than just a florid vocabulary).

The word "okay" in particular threw me.  Sometimes colloquialism is great (see Cowd's newly posted setting "Weird Sun" for an example), but it assumes a character as your narrator (Beruzz from Sahajjinn, for example).  But when you're using an omniscient third person narrator, it should generally be avoided.

If you dress up your language a bit more I think you'll attract greater interest to ideas that are very compelling, but delivered in an  occasionally lackluster way.

Like always, thank you very much for the response. You are right about my writing, i'll definatly have to change some of that. I was having diffuculty trying to get my ideas across in writing, a problem I have lots of time, but am working on.

  As for the map...neither am I. I am having trouble figuring out how to get pictures on here.

Easiest thing to do is to use imageshack (really easy to set up an account there) to host the picture, then link to it.

I'll be trying that later. For a current report on my progress: i spent some time on Sahajjinn weapons, but now i'm starting on different spell categories for Xearic. A Wizard or Sorcerer character will be able to take ranks in Spellcasting Categories, which allow them to perform specially trained magic. They will be presented with a different array of spellcasting options then the normal wizard, but some spells will be off limit to them.

  This is like the Magic Schools in 3.5, except more rewarding, interesting, and Sorcerers can use it. I should have it in the crunch section soon....