what's the silliest thing any of your players have done? I once had a female player whose character had maxed out ranks in proffesion (prostitute).
Well there was one guy who made his money by dancing on building rooftops in his underwear. He was a bard with 20 something CHA and maxed ranks in perform dance.
Not to get explicit but I had a player whose barbarian had a thing for Donkeys... Hilarity ensued every time the group entered a village...
In my Asian setting our Swordsage was able to convince a Bandit that a life of crime was not the answer to his problems. Essentially the convo went something liek this:
Swordsage: The answer to your problems is Copper. Yes Copper! *holds up a sack of 100 Copper Pieces*
Bandit: Huh?
Swordsage: With the state of the economy these days who knows when the next merchant caravan will come by? But what I can assure you is this - Copper is here to stay! Imagine what you could do with 100 Copper Pieces! Why you could open up a shop or start a family! Hey, you know what else you can do with Copper?
Bandit: What?
Swordsage: Smelt it of course! We all know the Kingdom has enemies all around and weapons are always in high demand. You could take this copper, smelt it and make weapons you can sell to the government!
Bandit: Really!?
Swordsage: Indeed! There are a thousand and 1 things you could do with this hefty sack of Copper and it can be yours if you walk away from this village and make a life for yourself in the capital!
*A series of skill checks on both sides, Bandit utterly fails*
Bandit: That sounds great!
*Bandit takes the sack of copper pieces and runs off into the forest heading towards the capital*
... It was funnier if you where there, lol.
A thing for donkeys...eew.
Quote from: Gnomish CheetosA thing for donkeys...eew.
"Aye, that's a fine Donkey!" is a running gag in our group.
Thing thread brings to mind horrible images involving Shrek and Donkey... not cool
The donkey has nothing on the lich with a thing for zombies... His favorite saying was. Hey babe I'm all bone... wanna find out which one of my bones is the biggest right now?
Actually, that's not nearly as creepy as it could be. It would be worse if one of the participants were not undead.
I have a DM who is pretty open to material from WotC splat-books. I was told my character's starting gold was 600 GP. Looking at the pricing guidelines for the warbeast template in the MMII and the animal stats in the MM, the cheapest large animal to have as a mount is an ape. So, I bought a war-ape and an exotic millitary saddle for it. I also bought a wagon and was using the ape as a dray creature for the wagon. We got into an area too densely wooded for the wagon, which led to the utterance of:
"Well, I guess it's time to saddle up the ape."
Quote from: khyron1144"Well, I guess it's time to saddle up the ape."
That phrase has got to be one of the most awesome things I have ever heard.
I had a halfling character who wanted to use an exotic saddle to ride the half-orc character. I was feeling goofy that day and let him.
I once had my PCs find this magical belt, which due to a lack of Identify Spells, they couldn't . . . well, identify. The decided they would find out what it did by putting it on. The rogue convinced the fighter that he should try it, and as soon as he slipped it on, he noticed his armor was feeling awfully tight across the chest, and his hair was considerably longer than before. They had found a belt of gender change. The fighter spent about 10 minutes chasing the rogue and holding out the belt, trying to slip it over him for revenge.
In one of my friend's games, a druid convinced a barbarian to worship the Nature goddess because the goddess was the goddess of "bacon and beer". He eventually grew to be her most powerful supporter.
There was one guy who had maxed strength so he could carry around a huge beer keg wherever he went. He had weapon proficiency: keg of beer as well as other traits and feats tailored to the use of such an item. He never said why he had the keg and nobody ever asked. When we finally defeated the BBEG sorceress (which we had been tailing ever since we picked him up as a party member) he halted us from killing her then dragged her behind a column and had his way with her for an hour. After which he downed the whole keg and pulled a massive cigar from its false bottom and lit up.
Quote from: NomadicThere was one guy who had maxed strength so he could carry around a huge beer keg wherever he went. He had weapon proficiency: keg of beer as well as other traits and feats tailored to the use of such an item. He never said why he had the keg and nobody ever asked. When we finally defeated the BBEG sorceress (which we had been tailing ever since we picked him up as a party member) he halted us from killing her then dragged her behind a column and had his way with her for an hour. After which he downed the whole keg and pulled a massive cigar from its false bottom and lit up.
EPIC! :band:
My friend Jamie is an interesting fellow. One time he decided to play D&D with us, but didn't want to sit around for the boring character generation aspects. This led to him playing a Ranger with the Beast Rider kit (2e era) and an elephant. The character also was female and had an unusually high Charisma score.
I was DMing and I tend to view most situations as having some chance of a peaceful resolution through social interaction. Jamie found out he could "win" an encounter by talking to the bad guys. At some point he said: "Hey, I'm using my hontess here!"
He's also the guy who said at another game session: "I got sidetracked by the spleen in my rectum."
I just ran a tabletop session of my Island City game.
One of the PCs is an NSA agent.
The mission was to rescue Santa Claus from the Ice Giants.
At some point along the way, the NSA agent botched an Investigation roll. I told him, you're pretty sure he faked his own kidnapping, and he really ran with it.
khyron's skill in thread necromancy has increased by 1.
One of my players is a Dwarf. He recently discovered the rules on getting drunk. He then did the math and, using ale, he can't physically drink fast enough to get drunk.
So naturally, he founded NASA* for like-disable individuals, with the rousing speech of 'We choose to get drunk... we choose to get drunk not because it is easy, but because it is hard!' and 'we will have a dwarf wasted by the end of this decade!'
*National Alcoholics and Schwasted Administration
I recently did a rotating GM session where me and my three buds would switch characters and roles as GM every 15 minutes of gameplay.
I started as the GM, and let them make the characters. I ended up with a bigoted Paladin with a fear of smaller races (gnomes, halflings, etc), a weapon-toting cleric of the sun god with serious anger issues, and a rotund oracle of lore whose sole weapon was a masterwork frying pan. The oracle's name was Roger Rogington, and he loved food so much that he would carry around his personal pig and chicken, names Orpheus and Ted, respectively. Oh, and he bought exotic chainmail barding for both of them.
And the icing on the cake? They all followed different deities. Every time they'd introduce themselves to some NPC, they'd all loudly declare their names and their deities' titles at the same time, trying to talk over each other.
In combat, Roger Rogington would frequently procure wands of various sorts from his body and fail at using them (it wasn't until halfway through the session we realized he didn't have quickdraw and couldn't actually do all the actions he was doing, but we ruled Ted the armored chicken was handing him items). The anger issue cleric would frequently interrupt enemy conversations by charging at them with a spear, then dropping the spear and drawing a sword, then dropping the sword and drawing a flail, etc. The paladin was a little more serious than the others, which served to add a little notion of sanity to an otherwise totally off-the-wall party... except when a smaller person came through, then he would secretly make sure they didn't touch anything of his for fear of catching their "small"...
All in all, it was a hell of a lot of fun. It was fun to switch around and see where people took the story every time. Even playing character roles was extremely entertaining... I was a personal fan of Mr. Rogington.
A Changeling conga line that was a bunk to sneak past Darth Vader.
Which was having problems, because a particular Satyr and Redcap were wasted on Hobbit weed.
There was also the Singing contest with Sauron.
And the Knocker's Flamingotron (Exactly what it sounds like).
P.S. Changeling players have more fun.
I had a player play a fremlin and he'd fly around using magic to fly on his own flatulence to speed up his wings.
Same player would play a half giant and try to get with halflings with hilarious results.
Same half giant was also excessively proud of his character's junk/ He'd like drink a ton of beer to put out a fire via taking a whiz to try to be heroic.
I got more.. but i think they'd be too disturbiing... but they amused the hell out of sadistic dm side.
I once had a friend join in on one of our games in a... less than sober condition. Aside from naming his character after something he got out of the movie Dude, Where's My Car?, there were the following reactions when the party encountered an unusually large, pure white deer that seemed to show signs of intelligence:
"I follow it, keeping my distance."
"I ready my bow, and watch to see what it does."
"... Let's kill it and drink it's blood Harry Potter-style! Yeah!"