[ic=from the records of High Shaman Tlutli]
Day 13, Chase 5, 1392
I devoured the Nechu-grass raw, as the rite demanded. A man-child is cooking the meat, out of my sight, but close for me to smell the sweetness of the smoke. He has been trained well. As an eagle flies, the world now begins to unfold. Now I [unintelligible]
There! no-- I am then! Dogs will yap. I see the blood, the strangers, seven grotesque beasts. They will try to chase, but our men are brave, and they now stand strong. The smoke is bitter, the strangers are burning our [unintelligible]
Their weapons. How could they be so fast? They let him limp to me, his hair and ear torn from his head, but Jaguar helps him hold firmly onto his spirit. I must let the boy reach me, Eagle must carry him to Moon. The strangers, now rotting, taunt him as he stumbles to the ground. He spits blood, fury from his lips to the grass, and one of them sees him grasp the obsidian. He's turning, throwing wildly, he refuses to go without vengeance on his killer. The black stone finds it's way to a stranger's eye, and they both collapse. Dead. Eagle, take this boy's [unintelligible, followed by strange glyphs]
I am returning. The forests are here, they are now. The man-child seems to recognize my return, and silently brings me the meat, which is now cooked and cooled as is proper. He's now watching me as I eat, finishing the vision. I see him differently, now. He will leave for his quest to manhood soon. I know the strength of his spirit; he will prevail. I cannot tell him this; for now, he is still too young. But one day, he will have honor.[/ic]
I like the strangeness of it, and the great amount left unsaid. I noticed a couple of small punctuation errors (no space after a period, one sentence isn't capitalized) but I wasn't sure if they were intentional.
Quote from: SteerpikeI like the strangeness of it, and the great amount left unsaid. I noticed a couple of small punctuation errors (no space after a period, one sentence isn't capitalized) but I wasn't sure if they were intentional.
I guess I was just typing too fast to catch those. they're fixed now, I believe. Thanks!