[ooc]THE PLOT: An evil dragon has kidnapped the princess and taken her to his castle. It's up to the hero to slay the dragon and rescue her.[/ooc]
[spoiler=(Contains Expletives)]
THRASH METAL:The hero walks by, kills the dragon, rescues the princess and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL:The hero comes riding on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks some beer and fucks the princess.
INDUSTRIAL METAL:The hero arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes obscene gestures towards the dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
SPEED METAL:Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someone's screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.
NU METAL:The hero arrives in a shabby Honda Civic, trys to fight the dragon but his gay baggy-pants catch fire and he dies.
GOTHIC METAL:The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The hero completes the duet by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidentally scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell's eternity.
POWER METAL:The hero rides to the castle on a white unicorn, defeats the dragon in an epic battle in a storm on the edge of a huge cliff. Then he rescues the princess and both make love in a magic forest.
FOLK METAL:The hero arrives with some mates who play flute, violin, accordion and some other instruments. They're having a party with lots of beer and mead and make the dragon sleep with their music and with dancing. Then they leave again ... without the princess.
VIKING METAL:The hero arrives in a dragonship, kills the dragon with his mighty greataxe, moults him, rapes the princess to death, steals her possesions and burns the castle before he leaves.
CHRISTIAN/WHITE METAL:The hero prays to god that he will take away this satanic creature. then he tells the princess that they can't have sex before they're married.
GLAM METAL:The hero arrives, the dragon takes one look at him and laughs himself to death. Then the hero steals the princess' make-up and decides to paint the castle pink.
DEATH METAL:The hero arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess, kills her and leaves.
BLACK METAL:The hero arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in an unholy ritual, then kills her and impales her next to the dragon.
GORE METAL:The hero arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his bowels all around the castle. Then he fucks the princess, kills her and fucks her corpse again, slices her stomach and eats her bowels and fucks her again.
DOOM METAL:The hero arrives. He sees how big the dragon is and thinks he will never be able to kill him. He falls into a deep depression and commits suicide. The dragon eats him and the princess.
PROGRESSIVE METAL:The hero arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess runs away looking for the heavy metal hero.
GRINDCORE:The hero arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves.
[/spoiler]
Man, there seems to be a lot of raping. Also a lot of these seem rather similar. To be fair, that is what made me laugh as much as I did. The Doom Metal, Black Metal, White Metal, and the Industrial Metal ones were particularly amusing. The Viking Metal one confused me a bit; what did you mean by 'moults'? Is that a typo?
Ahhh, I remember this :)
Good times.
Just....LOL[/size]
Quote from: Endless_Helixwhat did you mean by 'moults'? Is that a typo?
Not my words. Copy-pasted from various websites.
They probably meant skins
Might it be mounts? As in either ride or put on a wall as a trophy?
Ha, that was funny.