The Campaign Builder's Guild

Now what I want to know is this: WHERE IS MY DAMN CHARACTER VISUALIZER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Because if the demon's minions keep doing what the demon says, they get to live at least a little longer.

In my experience the best villains from my campaigns all share six qualities:

1) They relate to the PCs as people: there are conversations, discussions, negotiations, etc. that occur over the course of the campaign.

2) They are WAY more powerful than the PCs, at least to start, and this is frighteningly obvious to the players.  This prevents any disastrous early violence.

3) Most of their dastardly deeds come to the PCs through word of mouth -- rumors, songs, etc. about all the horrible things they do.

4) At some point, the villain must do something VERY nasty to someone the PC's care about.  It need not be anyone particularly close, but it can't be a totally minor character.  The something nasty can't be gratuitous, either... it needs to be done by the villain solely in order to accomplish his goal.  The best villains can't be needlessly cruel; they must be pragmatic and relentless.

5) The villain must have something to offer the PCs, so that working with the villain is a serious option that the PCs have to consider.

6) The villain should be working for someone else, at least nominally.  The guy in charge can be a faceless lunatic who wants to take over the world.  The *villain* should have an agenda of his own, whether it be ambitions, duty, or something sinister or noble, and should be working with the "bad guy" for his own purposes.

Looking forward to more!

What program did you use for the layout?

I'm not going to belabour the point about grammar, because that's not really the purpose of this forum, but pretty much every paragraph in this draft needs extensive copy editing.  The first two sentences of the book have at least three problems, and it goes downhill from there.  Now, I realize it's just a draft, but the problems are so systemic they actually interfere with your delivery and cheapen your otherwise impressive production values.

Now on we go to more important things, bearing in mind I have no idea what the D5 system is.  If I'm missing something obvious because of my unfamiliarity, then I apologize, but urge you to avoid too much "inside baseball" in your setting forth the, er... setting.

Differences
I really like the notion of setting out differences from other Asian settings.  The biggest problem you have here is that you don't give enough of an idea what you're setting your, er... setting against.  There's one part that works wonderfully:

QuoteKaidan is not Japan, its a fictional setting with
its own history and possibilities. In many ways
however, it is more Japan than any previous
setting. Where other oriental RPG settings
tried to incorporate the wider Asian influences
of Chinese, Indian, Mongol and South East
Asian, Kaidan is based soley on Japanese
ideas, legends and folklore.

Here (although it's not in a "differences" section) you're actually saying what other people did, then saying how what you did is different.  If you aren't going to give this sort of detail, then you should identify the settings you have in mind, either by name or reference.  For example, you might write something like "Many settings have elemental priests, often called Shukenja, Shugenga, or some variant.  Kaidan takes this notion and returns it to its authentic Japanese roots in the Yamabushi ("warrior of the mountain") class.  (Not sure if that's the right translation... my Japanese vocab and grammar are horrible. -A)  Instead of being (description of what other settings do), they are (what?  Mystic hermits?)."

Also... you start out with "Differences from Previous Asian Settings", which is fine, but it's a very short, cursory section.  Then you start talking about the Wheel of Life, which is totally coool, but somewhat incongruous.  Then on the next page, BAM!  We're back to talking about differences between Kaidan and other systems... so much so that the next subheading is called "Other Differences".  The structure of these opening pages is loose and wandering.

Karma
The Karma idea is nice -- there was something very similar in the Marvel Superheroes game, although the Karma points could be spent on modifying die rolls.  I'm a little confused, though: Just a forty-act gap between advancement and its opposite?  Seems a bit slim.  Also: Use the greater-than-or-equal-to and less-than-or-equal to symbols for the last two entries on the karma table to avoid confusion.  (If you just look at the table itself, it reads right now like you gain karma for being promoted.)

Vagueness
In several places, you're vague and ambiguous where you should be specific.  Example:

QuoteAlthough Kaidan is a fictional setting, compared to
the Japanese time line, its sits at the end of Heian
period, during the last battle of the Genpei War
which ended in 1185, up to the Muromachi period
about 1450. Thus Kaidan exists during the birth
and rise of the feudal period, in the age of the War
Lords of Japan. Though some institutions such as
the Yakuza from the much later Tokugawa period
have been borrowed and incorporated into the
setting, the bulk of Kaidan's structure is built from
elements of an earlier age.

Again, ignoring grammar problems, it's not clear what it means for a fictional setting to "sit" on a real timeline.  If you mean that's where the reader might look to see what level of political sophistication and scientific technology correspond to what exists in Kaidan, then say that.  Don't say "the bulk of the structure is built from elements of an earlier age" -- say what those elements are.  If you mean to say that, barring some specification to the contrary, things that didn't exist until after that point in time in the real world don't exist in Kaidan, then say that!

Finally... just to make sure I'm not missing anything... is the document supposed to just be seven pages long right now?

It seems like you're doing something linguistically odd... you've made "glitch" a slang term for something that is pretty much the exact opposite of what the term typically means in English (which is something like, "screwed up in a minor, sometimes predictable fashion).

That in itself isn't anything odd, at all.  Michael Jackson, for instance, didn't think he was *really* Bad.  But in naming the network the "Glitch Network" it seems like you're at once using your slang definition of Glitch and trading on the unavoidable (because standard) connotations and denotations that English speakers will associate with the name, and reverse-meaning slang terms generally aren't the type of linguistic artifact that is used in giving things names or nicknames, because it's confusing.  On the other hand, it's poetic.  Part of the name's charm is that, upon reading it, the reader thinks that all sorts of bad things can happen if one uses it; indeed, unfortunate mistakes and screw ups are unconsciously assumed to happen regularly (if rarely).  The reason for this is that by placing the word "Glitch" first, you've made it into a modifying noun.  "The Glitch Network" sounds like a ''network of glitches'', as opposed to, say, if it were called "The Network Glitch" in which the network itself was a type of glitch in the universe (although it could also signify some glitch within the network).

There's nothing *wrong* with doing this, but it's an odd enough move that you want to be sure that it's what you mean to do.

And, finally, it's not clear if you mean that any in-game people actually call it "The Glitch Network"; apparently some call it "Glitch" (or perhaps "The Glitch") and others (a larger number it seems) call it "Network" (or perhaps "The Network").  Both of these names seem appropriate, and "The Glitch" seems both appropriate and, given your slang-definition of "glitch", quite clever.  But is "The Glitch Network" something that only a few people call it?  Or is it supposed to be an out-of-character name for the in-game object?

Wiki update: Read all about the Halgladir...

And feel free to stay a while, wander around, and make all sorts of snarky criticism!  It's a wiki, after all.

There are lizard men living in the deep tunnel systems beneath Los Angeles.

The problem is that slang can only come "naturally" to the DM, unless the players are willing to invest a ton of time getting familiar with things.  So I find myself giving +1 to Phoenix.

One thing that comes to mind is the question of magic-as-science that ScMp brought up on the last page.  Magic that has a "cost" or a "fuel source" is generally magic that follows the law of conservation of energy.

If your setting has the law of conservation of energy, and magic is bound by it, then magic will involve either moving energy from one place to another, or using your own energy somehow.  Moving the energy also requires a certain "expenditure", although one could play with that a little and have it be negligible.  For example, tapping into the power of the void is just pulling void-power into this world... using yourself as a conduit could either be effortless or extremely draining, however you wish.  Opening and closing such a conduit could be where the "cost" -- if any -- is incurred.  By contrast, if you're burning/transforming your own energies, this can be accounted for in terms of exhaustion, mana loss, or lost hit points.

If magic in a given world, however, violates the law of conservation of energy (perhaps that's what makes it magic!)... quite literally anything is possible with enough time and effort.  Here you have to rely on limitations on who can use it if you want to keep it from becoming the end-all-be-all of your world's existence, and even then the limitations will have to be draconian because getting something for nothing (or getting 8 newtons of force for the cost of 6) will eventually be leveraged and processed and harnessed and bingo: perpetual motion and limitless free energy.

Just my rambling thoughts for the afternoon.

I'm in with an old bloody piece of cloth at 639 words.

Ko-Mu's Standard

Description: This soiled length of linen, with torn, irregular edges and measuring approximately 1 and a half feet by 4 feet.  One end has holes that indicate it was once stitched to fit around the top of a pole.  The faded sigil of Echer the Wet Lord is visible in its center, but only barely, as it is covered by centuries of grit and dirt and blood. It smells faintly of all manner of foul things: sweat and grime and blood and death, and its odor becomes more apparent when it is moistened.  It is not a particularly famous item -- it certainly does not appear in any songs, and there are only passing references to it in obscure histories.  But among the noble families of the Ashani is is almost revered as a symbol of Ashani power and leadership, and it is always treasured by those who have carried it.

History: The standard was commissioned by Pretaren Ko-Mu, Atiq of Co-Van and Hero of the Battle of the North Forest Gap, to commemorate his victory over the Empyric Bloodkin in 561 A.C., during the Age of Glory.  The cloth itself is originally from an Empyric standard that was captured during the conflict, a battle during which Ko-Mu himself very nearly died from catapult fire.  After it was given to him by one of his lieutenants as a gift, Ko-Mu went to the Wizard's College and asked them to enchant the standard to make the army that carries it invincible.  Well, the Wizards were not quite up to that task, but they took Ko-Mu's silver and over the next ten months, placed a very different sort of enchantment on the standard, but one which Ko-Mu found to his liking.

Upon Ko-Mu's death in 587 at the hands of an assassin, the standard passed to Ko-Mu's grandson, Pretaren Mi-Kai. It continued to pass through the family until the fall of Co-Van in 1000 A.C., when Renemu Ti-Ran, then the Atiq of Co-Van by marriage, gave it to his most trusted servant with instructions to take it to Porino, far out of the reach of the Sethreki invaders.  It is not known if the standard ever made it that far.  It's next recorded sighting was in the hands of Beteren Tu-Frel, who would later gift it to Safrey Ir-Nii.  Ir-Nii would carry the standard against the young Sethreki emperor, Arcus II, whom he personally slew at the Battle of Harlace in 1339 (though Ir-Nii's army lost the battle).  The standard was lost when the dragon Nacri destroyed Kisoro and took up residence in its ruins in 1461, 900 years after the standard was first captured.

The Enchantment:  The Wizards were not able to weave the enchantment that Ko-Mu requested, and certainly not in the sullied matrix of a torn, bloodied cloth.  But they were able to draw upon the energies in the sweat and bloodstains to make it into a powerful defensive charm that, given his near brush with death, Ko-Mu gratefully accepted.  The magic is activated by sweat, though only when the standard is draped about the shoulders against bare skin with the sigil of Echer placed square in the middle of the back.  The enchantment is an immensely powerful one, with a far-reaching effect: the wearer is completely immune to undirected (physical) missile fire.  Stray arrows, bolts, and indiscriminately fired artillery will simply hit someone else, and area weapons such as pitch or the rare explosive will, unless specifically used to attack the wearer, end up missing him entirely, one way or another.  The standard has no effect on magical attacks.  Ko-Mu was warned, although there may be no one alive today who remembers this warning, that if he ever washed the standard, its enchantment would be broken forever.  So far, no one has washed it.

Sparkletwist for Miss Congeniality.

Random generators are for people who start playing D&D in 4th grade (like I did).  It's the placeholder until you develop enough sophistication, experience, and actual geographical/cultural/economic/historical/meteorological knowhow to do it yourself.

Yes, Reagents and Components (when actually used) do tend to balance things out nicely.

The problem, of course, is that in an RPG (meaning a setting for playing, rather than for writing) you need the mages to be able to *do something* in pretty much every encounter.  You don't want them to feel totally helpless, because that's not fun for their players.

The two options I've used are (1) allowing Mages to burn their hit points to cast more spells (always fun), and (2) allowing mages to develop, albeit at a slower pace, some degree of melee skill so they can grab a longsword and go kick some ass, a la Gandalf (to continue the previous metaphor).

I'm also a big fan of "social" control: Dragonlance did this extremely well with the Council and the Towers of High Sorcery and all that (until Raistlin told them all to take a long walk off a short parapet).  I use the Wizard's College in Calisenthe, and I use it pretty harshly.  I always make sure my magic-using players understand what they are getting into before I let them take the class.

(This is a Rolemaster thing, but I also charge background points for taking a spellcasting class; these are precious and rare points that are only available at character creation which could otherwise give people some pretty sweet things to work with, including huge stat bonuses and special abilities.)

Good topic!  I approve.  I can't wait to hear what everyone else says.