Lincolnshire 3118

[Kindling]

This is a crazy idea I want to run as a one-shot, and then possibly run with if it goes well.

[ic]The year is 3118 CE. Some unspecified time ago an Apocalypse happened. An Apocalypse of the magical/paranormal kind.

The county of Lincolnshire, East Midlands is now a dusty wasteland populated by ruinous villages and dead trees, where only fungus and cabbage will grow. In the northeast of the county, in the village of Melton Ross, is a bastion of sanity and stability in this world overrun with Trolls, Cannibals, Tenth-Century Vikings, Undead, Drow, Grape-Soda-Lactating Lizardwomen, and fungusburgers - the Tom Woods Brewery!

As water is now almost entirely unsafe for consumption, the demand for beer has skyrocketed, and the Brewery is doing a thriving business supplying the various settlements in the county (even though Melton Ross is officially run by the murderous Cult of the Vampire Baboon Hardolaxil).

The PCs are employees of the Brewery, on a mission to write an article reviewing the various culinary establishments that serve Tom Woods beers to accompany their fare for Tom Woods Monthly, a newsletter the Brewery provides to its customers free of charge. First on their list: Craggy's Rovin' Grill, a nomadic fungusburger joint run by the grizzled troll chef Cragnest Moseyhund.

Assuming they survive the perils of the wilderness and track down the Grill, during their review-meal the Prussian Vampire sorcerer Oberleutnant Dieter von Sputumbath and his Cult of the Giant Severed Body-Part will intrude and attempt to sacrifice the patrons to the Infernal Scout, a fictional demonic entity that von Sputumbath has convinced his followers will be summoned following their sadistic ritual.

In reality the killings will open a portal to Prussia, allowing an elite vanguard unit of Prussian Fallschirmjager to teleport in and march on Lincoln itself, which the Prussian Magocracy believes to be Atlantis, and wish to capture in order to exploit it's occult significance.

However, during the ritual - or, more likely, during the PC's royally screwing with von Sputumbath's fiendish plans - a squad of Drow bountyhunters in the employ of the Dark Parliament that holds court in Lincoln Cathedral will arrive and attempt to place everyone (patrons, PCs, cultists, and Cragnest and co.) under arrest for High Treason and Conspiracy to Commit Irresponsible and Indecent Witchcraft.

Carnage ensues.[/ic]

Yes, yes, I know I'm a genius. But... Do you guys think this would be a workable game? Do you have any ideas to throw into the mix? My ideas at the moment are pretty vague and open to change, so any suggestions would be welcomed (although I reserve the right to not actually use any of them)

[Ghostman]

Do you guys think this would be a workable game?

It's borderline surreal but sounds like good fun. So, yes.

Do you have any ideas to throw into the mix?

Gigantic (=Kaiju-sized) monstrous turtles wander the land, and occasionally stomp on buildings. They are invulnerable to all weapons and magic but can be manipulated by tickling their snouts.

[LordVreeg]

I will say we need more brewery employees as PCs.  Really, an underused profession in RPGs.

[Steerpike]

While the style is certainly very madcap the adventure itself sounds pretty manageable, though far from boring.

Sort of interesting that Prussia is a major power.  I sense plenty of time-wimeyness.

[Kindling]

I'm actually considering replacing Prussia with Saxony. The main reason being that I had assumed modern-day Prussia to be an administrative zone in Germany roughly equivalent to a British county. However, it is neither an administrative zone nor anywhere near as small. While the "timey-wimey" significance of Prussia is fun, I think Saxony would almost be more interesting to use and, while it's still not as small as Lincolnshire, it's only about three times the size rather than 40 times. This small scale is important for my visualisation of the post-demented-apocalypse world, as lines of communication and logistics would have trouble extending further (although as the Prussians/Saxons/generic Germanic villains are big into magic, there would be ways round this)

[Kindling]

Well, just in case you guys were interested, the first 3118 one-shot went great, ending with a fantastic TPK in the battle at Craggy's Rovin' Grill as the two PCs (Marcus "Nine-Lives" Norris and Chinstrap McMad) were overwhelmed by deranged cultists, Saxon Fallschrimjageren and Drow bounty-hunters in a thoroughly enjoyable bloodbath.

I think the plan is to (infrequently) continue running one-shots where the players run different pre-genned characters but there is an overall story arc that the characters might be unaware of but which the players might be able to piece together as they jump between running different doomed adventurers.

Also, I'll post here the six characters I made up for my players to choose from for the first session. The two above-mentioned are now deceased, but any of the other four may crop up in later one-shots.

[spoiler=Chinstrap McMad]
Class: Harrier
Level: 2nd
Traits: Shadow Born (Infernal Glower), Bloodthirsty

age: 31     height: 5'6'     weight: 122lbs        race: Homicidal maniac

STR: 15 +2
DeX: 17 +3
CoN: 14 +2
iNT: 10 +0
WiS: 15 +2
Cha: 11 +0

aTTaCK BonUS              
        +4/+5                       
Defence:15         
HP:20   
RP:20   
XP1000

foRT: +4               
Ref: +5                     
Will: +4

Harrier abilities: +10ft combat speed, Combat Mobility

Feats:                  
Razor Fiend 1            
Weapon Finesse 1            
Two-Weapon Fighting 1         
                  


Skills:
            Athletics (str) 5
            Agility (dex) 5
      Ride (dex) 5
                  Hide (dex) 4
                  Move Silently (dex) 5
                  Sense Motive (wis) 4

Gear
Jar of pickled eyeballs                  
Set of clothes, crude                      
Dagger (damage: 1d4 crit: 19-20/x2 range: 10ft) x 6
GP: 1
SP: 1
CP: 15



Description
Chinstrap McMad is horribly gaunt and heavily demented man whose principal joy in life is removing the eyeballs from the corpses of those unfortunate enough to cross him. His current job as a guard for the Tom Woods Brewery has calmed his homicidal tendencies somewhat, or at least channelled them towards those more deserving of his attentions.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Harald the Unintelligible]
class: Man-At-Arms
level: 2nd
traits: Arctic Born (Bear's Toughness), Tough as Iron

age: 47     height: 5'10'     weight: 241lbs        race: Viking

STR: 18 +4
DeX: 13 +1
CoN: 20 +5
iNT: 11 +0
WiS: 13 +1
Cha: 6 -2

aTTaCK BonUS      
         +6/+3                      
defence:13         
HP:27   
RP:27   
XP:1000

foRT: +7               
Ref: +3                     
Will: +3

Feats:                  
Diehard                
Quick Draw               
Two-Weapon Fighting 1         
Power Attack 1            
               

Skills:
                Athletics (str) 5
               Perception 5
         Wilderness Lore 5
            Speak Language (English) 1
                  Craft (carpentry) (int) 4
                  Craft (brewing) (int) 5
                  Profession (fisherman) (wis) 5

GeaR
Battleaxe (damage: 1d8 crit: x3)            
Longsword (damage: 1d8 crit 19-20/x2)          
Handaxe (damage: 1d6 crit: x3)
Shortbow (damage: 1d6 crit x3 range 60ft)
Arrows x 26
Chainmail (DR: 1d4 max dex: +5 penalty: -5)
Heavy shield, wooden (defence: +3 penalty: -2)
CP: 3


Description
A first-generation Viking, Harald the Unintelligible has spent much of his adult life  depressed about being in the future and unable to return to the tenth century. He works at the Brewery and indulges far too much in the beer he helps to make.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Clarissa Fellows]
class: Armiger
level: 2nd
traits: Brave, Stout

age: 29     height: 5'8'     weight: 188lbs        race: Hero!

STR: 15 +2
DeX: 11 +0
CoN: 18 +4
iNT: 16 +3
WiS: 11 +0
Cha: 10 +0

aTTaCK BonUS      
        +4/+2                      
Defence: 12         
HP: 28   
RP: 28   
XP: 1000

foRT: +6               
Ref: +2                     
Will: +2

armiger abilities: Master Armourer, Tough as Nails, Armour Mastery

feats:                  
Armour Mastery 2            
Toughness   
            
skills:
         Athletics (str) 5
      Craft (master armourer) (int/con) 5
                  Spot (wis) 5
                  Listen (wis) 5
                  Search (int) 5
                  Sense Motive (wis) 5
                  Ride (dex) 5
                  Diplomacy (cha) 5                  

GeaR
Spear (damage: 1d8 crit: x3 range: 20ft)            
Full plate (DR: 1d8 max dex: +1 penalty -6)         
GP: 3
SP: 5
CP: 5


Description
Resplendent in her lurid pink camouflage patterned armour, Clarissa Fellows is a hero of the Scum Wars who turned the tide against the Orange Sickle Cult in the Fifteenth Battle of Newark, and single-handedly held the breach at the Siege of Collingham. She now finds work as a guard for the Tom Woods Brewery.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Betty "Facebreaker" Thompson, née Hammersmith]
class: Berserker
level: 2nd
traits: Mighty Build, Strong

age: 22     height: 5'11'     weight: 254lbs        race: Walking slab of muscle

STR: 20 +5
DeX: 9 -1
CoN: 17 +3
iNT: 8 -1
WiS: 11 +0
Cha: 15 +2

aTTaCK BonUS      
        +7/+1                      
Defence:10         
DR:1d4   
HP:27   
RP:27   
XP:1000

foRT: +5               
Ref: +1                     
Will: +2

Berserker abilities: Berserk Strength

feats:                  
Foe Hammer 1            Athletics (str) 5
Power Attack 1            Intimidate (cha) 5
Improved Unarmed Strike         Ride (dex) 5

skills:
            Athletics (str) 5
            Intimidate (cha) 5
         Ride (dex) 5

Gear:
Greatclub (damage: 1d10 crit: x2)         
Set of clothes, crude               
Pouch, belt
Flint and steel
GP: 3
SP: 5
CP: 5

Description:
As the twenty-seventh wife of Thomas Thompson, the elderly head of the Tom Woods Brewery, Betty 'FaceBreaker' Thompson, née Hammersmith is fanatically loyal to her husband, almost to the point of ridiculousness.
Physically, the ex-prizefighter shares more traits with a raging bull than a woman, as her muscle mass is enough to give casual observers nosebleeds. Despite this, she has a surprisingly delicate and girlish face atop her colossal shoulders.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Ilthos Idris]
class: Thief
level: 2nd
age: 40     height: 5'2'     weight: 108lbs        race: Drow

STR: 10 +0
DeX: 19 +4
CoN: 8 -1
iNT: 17 +3
WiS: 12 +1
Cha: 15 +2

aTTaCK BonUS      
        +1/+5                      
Defence:16         
Sneak attack:1d6         
HP:12   
RP:12   
XP:1000

foRT: +1               
Ref: +6                     
Will: +3

Drow abilities: Darkvision 60ft, Light Blindness, +2 to Listen, Search and Spot checks, +2 to Will saves vs. magic, immune to magical sleep
Thief abilities: Alias, Skill Expertise

feats:                  
Devious Manipulator 2         
Mobility 1               

skills:
         Agility (dex) 7
               Athletics (str) 7
                  Robbery 7
                  Social (cha) 7
                  Stealth (dex) 7
                  Theatrics 7
                  Profession (waiter) (wis) 7
                  Craft (brewing) (int) 7
                  Spot (wis) 7
                  Listen (wis) 7
                  Sense Motive (wis) 7
                  Ride (dex) 4

Gear:
Dagger (damage: 1d4 crit: 19-20/x2 range: 10ft)   
Set of clothes, crude                  
GP:3    
SP:3    
CP:4

Description:
A mysterious Drow who recently started working at the Tom Woods Brewery, Ilthos Idris claims to have previous expert experience in the catering industry.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Marcus "Nine-Lives" Norris]
class: Wight
level: 2nd

age: 1215     height: 6'0'     weight: 130lbs        race: British

STR: 17 +3
DeX: 20 +5
CoN: -
iNT: 9 -1
WiS: 14 +2
Cha: 10 +0

aTTaCK BonUS      
        +3/+5                      
Defence:18         
HP:15   
RP:15   
XP:1000

foRT: +0               
Ref: +5                     
Will: +5

Wight abilities: undead, slam 1d4, darkvision 60ft, +8 racial bonus to Move Silently

feats:                  
Improved Initiative            
Point Blank Shot 1         

skills:
            Stealth (dex) 4
            Listen (wis) 4
                  Spot (wis) 4

Gear:
Tattered funeral suit                   
Pouch, belt                        
Light crossbow (damage: 1d8 crit: 19-20/x2 range: 80ft)
Crossbow bolts x 4
GP: 55
SP: 1
CP: 5

Description:
The reanimated corpse known as Marcus 'Nine-Lives' Norris is a fierce patriot, having died for Monarch and Country eight times so far '" the first of which was fighting against Hitler's Third Reich in 1939.
A close personal friend and ally of Thomas Thompson, the elderly head of the Tom Woods Brewery, he often performs odd errands on the Brewery's behalf, as, as he would put it, 'favours to a dear old chum.'[/spoiler]