silly players

[khyron1144]

My friend Jamie is an interesting fellow.  One time he decided to play D&D with us, but didn't want to sit around for the boring character generation aspects. This led to him playing a Ranger with the Beast Rider kit (2e era) and an elephant.  The character also was female and had an unusually high Charisma score.

I was DMing and I tend to view most situations as having some chance of a peaceful resolution through social interaction.  Jamie found out he could "win" an encounter by talking to the bad guys.  At some point he said: "Hey, I'm using my hontess here!"

He's also the guy who said at another game session: "I got sidetracked by the spleen in my rectum."

[khyron1144]

I just ran a tabletop session of my Island City game.

One of the PCs is an NSA agent.

The mission was to rescue Santa Claus from the Ice Giants.  

At some point along the way, the NSA agent botched an Investigation roll.  I told him, you're pretty sure he faked his own kidnapping, and he really ran with it.

[Xeviat]

khyron's skill in thread necromancy has increased by 1.

[Stargate525]

One of my players is a Dwarf. He recently discovered the rules on getting drunk. He then did the math and, using ale, he can't physically drink fast enough to get drunk.

So naturally, he founded NASA* for like-disable individuals, with the rousing speech of 'We choose to get drunk... we choose to get drunk not because it is easy, but because it is hard!' and 'we will have a dwarf wasted by the end of this decade!'

*National Alcoholics and Schwasted Administration

[Weave]

I recently did a rotating GM session where me and my three buds would switch characters and roles as GM every 15 minutes of gameplay.

I started as the GM, and let them make the characters. I ended up with a bigoted Paladin with a fear of smaller races (gnomes, halflings, etc), a weapon-toting cleric of the sun god with serious anger issues, and a rotund oracle of lore whose sole weapon was a masterwork frying pan. The oracle's name was Roger Rogington, and he loved food so much that he would carry around his personal pig and chicken, names Orpheus and Ted, respectively. Oh, and he bought exotic chainmail barding for both of them.

And the icing on the cake? They all followed different deities. Every time they'd introduce themselves to some NPC, they'd all loudly declare their names and their deities' titles at the same time, trying to talk over each other.

In combat, Roger Rogington would frequently procure wands of various sorts from his body and fail at using them (it wasn't until halfway through the session we realized he didn't have quickdraw and couldn't actually do all the actions he was doing, but we ruled Ted the armored chicken was handing him items). The anger issue cleric would frequently interrupt enemy conversations by charging at them with a spear, then dropping the spear and drawing a sword, then dropping the sword and drawing a flail, etc. The paladin was a little more serious than the others, which served to add a little notion of sanity to an otherwise totally off-the-wall party... except when a smaller person came through, then he would secretly make sure they didn't touch anything of his for fear of catching their "small"...

All in all, it was a hell of a lot of fun. It was fun to switch around and see where people took the story every time. Even playing character roles was extremely entertaining... I was a personal fan of Mr. Rogington.

[CoyoteCamouflage]

A Changeling conga line that was a bunk to sneak past Darth Vader.

Which was having problems, because a particular Satyr and Redcap were wasted on Hobbit weed.

There was also the Singing contest with Sauron.

And the Knocker's Flamingotron (Exactly what it sounds like).


P.S. Changeling players have more fun.

[St0nE]

I had a player play a fremlin and he'd fly around using magic to fly on his own flatulence to speed up his wings.

Same player would play a half giant and try to get with halflings with hilarious results.
Same half giant was also excessively proud of his character's junk/ He'd like drink a ton of beer to put out a fire via taking a whiz to try to be heroic.

I got more.. but i think they'd be too disturbiing... but they amused the hell out of sadistic dm side.

[SDragon]

I once had a friend join in on one of our games in a... less than sober condition. Aside from naming his character after something he got out of the movie Dude, Where's My Car?, there were the following reactions when the party encountered an unusually large, pure white deer that seemed to show signs of intelligence:

"I follow it, keeping my distance."
"I ready my bow, and watch to see what it does."
"... Let's kill it and drink it's blood Harry Potter-style! Yeah!"