Feedback Request for Cosmic Framework

[Porklet]

I am seeking some feedback on some work I have done for the basic framework of a fantasy campaign world I am building. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I have mulled over this material for so long without sharing it that it's difficult for me to be objective. Feel free to express yourselves on any topic, but there are a few issues that I definitely need some help with.

1. On the Path Key image: Is it clear and understandable? Do you have any recommendations for replacing the terms Moniker, 'parents', or Minions? Are there any obvious questions left unanswered?
2. On Usa's Path is the small lettering legible? I want to create the other six hierarchies, but I don't want to proceed until I am certain it will be usable in its current format.
3. Are the diagrams Godsrise, Godsmarch, and Godswane (Images A-C in chronological order) clear and cohesive as a group? Does the story need more fleshing out, more explanation, less explanation, better grammar, blah blah blah? They are not meant to be a complete source of game information, but merely an introduction to the creation story and cosmic framework of the game world.
4. Perhaps most importantly, I created the diagrams as a spreadsheet, performed a screen capture during Print Preview, pasted the image into GIMP and cropped and spruced it up from there. Does anyone have a suggestion as to how I might make this process more efficient? I have tried using GIMP alone, but each time I use it I spend more time grappling with the HELP file than I do working on the matter itself.

EDIT:  I forgot to ask another question regarding content.  The Divine Concordance Creation has no juxtaposed term on the diagram of Image B: Godsmarch.  It is currently a ?????????.  It needs to oppose Dominion.  I was going to go with Thought as a natural evolution of Creation and adjacent to Love and Truth, but it could also be "divine spark", Will, Life, or anything that opposes the Argulite principle of Dominion.  Any thoughts?

If you have any questions please feel free to respond. My main concern is that, while I understand the material implicitly, I am not presenting the work clearly, thoroughly, or in an intriguing or pleasurable manner. Thanks.  

[Mason]

Hello.
   Welcome to the CBG.

 First off, let me say I like your creation myth. It is a bit wordy, as in it names a lot of gods right off the bat. I had to read it over two or three times just to get my names straight.(first paragraph, first image) Not a big problem (especially if you have the type of RP group that every DM can only dream about) but it might be a bit confusing to a more lax group. To be honest, I would use this as my own reference sheet rather than give it to my group.  

Also in the first paragraph I think you switch tense..."Etheb used it to seduce....Asta Luria stole the world away and works to destroy it..." Again no biggie, just switch a few words.

My main concern is that, while I understand the material implicitly, I am not presenting the work clearly, thoroughly, or in an intriguing or pleasurable manner.

For me, as a player I would love something like this. But that is because I like reading stuff like the introduction to N.K. Sandars translation of Gilgamesh. Another words, it's very dry, and text-bookish. Spruce it up with some color, chop out some of the wordiness and throw in a really kick-ass picture if you can before game day.
  But, well done on the myth structure. Hope I could help at least a little.

   
 

[Porklet]

Hello.
   Welcome to the CBG.

 First off, let me say I like your creation myth. It is a bit wordy, as in it names a lot of gods right off the bat. I had to read it over two or three times just to get my names straight.(first paragraph, first image) Not a big problem (especially if you have the type of RP group that every DM can only dream about) but it might be a bit confusing to a more lax group. To be honest, I would use this as my own reference sheet rather than give it to my group.  

Also in the first paragraph I think you switch tense..."Etheb used it to seduce....Asta Luria stole the world away and works to destroy it..." Again no biggie, just switch a few words.

My main concern is that, while I understand the material implicitly, I am not presenting the work clearly, thoroughly, or in an intriguing or pleasurable manner.

For me, as a player I would love something like this. But that is because I like reading stuff like the introduction to N.K. Sandars translation of Gilgamesh. Another words, it's very dry, and text-bookish. Spruce it up with some color, chop out some of the wordiness and throw in a really kick-ass picture if you can before game day.
  But, well done on the myth structure. Hope I could help at least a little.

   
 

Not only was it a first draft I wrote it for myself; both of which spells D-O-O-M.

The religions of the current times do not reflect the old gods.  The problem is I have been adding to this mythology for nearly 20 years without removing or omitting anything.  One of my ideas along the way was that the campaign could span time and space.  Meaning the players could have characters live in a Stone Age when gods walked the earth, a Bronze Age where demons and gods were in open conflict, and an Iron Age/Medieval Time when human philosophies and theological constructs ruled in matters of religion and demons secretly worked against mankind.  Then I would need a framework in place for these different era's.  The more interesting story, to me, is the current recognizable scenario where human worshipers and their deities oppose a host of demons that seek to destroy the world, for whatever reason.  That would be the current era.

I believe I will omit the creation story and reduce the ancient god/demon conflicts to a mysterious footnote.

Is it enough to say Etheb loves the world, Asta Luria hates Etheb, therefore Asta Luria hates the world?  The only aspect of the creation story that truly relates to the present day is the 8 Concordances that oppose the 8 Spheres of Argul and Orum's involvement in the development of magic thru his Orumites.

I am going to finish the demonic hierarchies, and I might affix current religious practices to the existing 8 Concordances (although I don't believe there are even eight).  You have been very helpful.  I think I am going to present it again, as a Magical Style, without the window dressing.  Thank you.