Artifacts of Terra

[khyron1144]

Some notes on the format:
I denotes a minor benign power
II denotes a major benign power
III denotes a minor malevolent effect
IV denotes a major malevolent effect.
V is a prime power
and
VI is a side effect

Minor malevolent effects occur after the artifact is in a character's possession for 1-4 weeks or after a major power is used.

Major malevolent effects occur after a Major or Prime power is used.

I've been reworking these a bit.  This is the current Version:
Human Regalia of Rulership
Jupiter, Juno, Minerva, and Vulcan worked together to produce a set of Artifacts for the Emperor of Terra to help reinforce his claim of worthiness and aid in future struggles against Jotuns, Goblinoids, and Beastly Men.  This is the result:

Axe of Might
Counts as a +6 Battle Axe for anyone.
In the hands of a King of Men it allows a Beguilment effect as per the rod of the same name 3 times a day and the following additional effects:
I Light 7 times a week
II A firebal of 9 dice damage up to twice a day
VI Wheneve this item is used as a weapon to strike an enemy, it does double damage to the opponent but the wielder takes normal damage as if he or she had been struck by the weapon.

Crown of Emperors
For anyone it acts as a Helm of Comprehending Languages & Reading Magic and confers Protection as if a Ring of Protection +5 without taking up a ring slot.
On a true King of Men it also functions as a Ring of Human Influence with Charm and Suggestion powers usable 3 times a day and provides the following additional powers:
I Possessor is immune to disease
I Possessor is immune to all kinds of gas
II Dispel Illusion up to twice a day
III The Possessor's saving throw vs. magic is penalized by -1.


Throne of Rulership
In order to use this artifact the user must be: a true king of men (the Throne or the greater forces that control it will make their own judgment) and either currently seated upon the throne or having been sitting on it for at least three hours not more than two days ago, provided these conditions are met, the following powers are gained:
Persuasion as the philter 1/day
Rulership as the rod 3/week
I ESP to a 30 foot range up to three times a day.
I Possessor Immune to fear.
III Touch of Possessor kills green plants.

A true Emperor of Terra in possession of at least two of these artifacts gets:
I Immune to Hold spells
II Hold Monster once daily


When the full set are in the possession of one true ruler of men, the following additional powers are gained:
I Hypnotic Pattern up to 3 times a day
II Weapon damage is +2 Hit Points (this makes the Axe of Might +6 to hit and +8 to damage both of which are cumulative with Strength and Specialization bonuses).
IV User grow three inches taller every time a Prime Power is used.
V Summon a Djinn of Efreet Lord for a day of service up to once a week.
VI Whenever a Major or Prime Power is used the temperature within a 60 foot radius drops by 50 degrees Fahrenheit for a duration of 50 minutes.





And this is the old version:

Human Regalia of Rulership
Axe of might
Counts as a +5 Battle Axe for anyone.
In the hands of a King of Men it allows a Beguilment effect as per the rod of the same name 3 times a day and the following additional effects:
I  Detect Invisibility when held and ordered.
Infravision when held
II  Cause serious wounds by touch
III  User must eat and drink six time normal amount.
IV  User grows Ã,¼ foot taller every time Primary power is used.
V  Death ray equal to a Finger of Death spell with no save once a day.
VI  Fear as per the spell is possible when a major or primary power is used, a save vs. magic applies.  This affects both the user and viewers.

Crown of Emperors
For anyone it acts as a Helm of Comprehending Languages & Reading Magic and confers Protection as if a Ring of Protection +5 without taking up a ring slot.
On a true King of Men it also functions as a Ring of Human Influence with Charm and Suggestion powers usable 3 times a day and provides the following additional powers:
I Esp 3/day
II Dispel Illusion upon command 2/day
IV Utterance of a spell causes loss of voice for a day
V Legend Lore, Commune, or Contact Higher Plane 1/week
VI Greed and covetousness reaction possible in all intelligent viewers



Throne of Rulership
In order to use this artifact the user must be: a true king of men (the Throne or the greater forces that control it will make their own judgment) and either currently seated upon the throne or having been sitting on it for at least three hours not more than two days ago, provided these conditions are met, the following powers are gained:
Persuasion as the philter 1/day
Rulership as the rod 3/week
I Possesor immune to fear
II Regenerate 2 HP/Turn (but not if killed)
III Acne on possessor's face
IV Magic drained form the most powerful (non-artifact) magic item within 20' of user
V Total immunity from all forms of mental and psionic attack
VI Whenever the prime power is used, the possessor must save vs. magic or lose 1 level of experience.

When the full set are in the possession of one true ruler of men, the following additional powers are gained:
I Shield 3/day
II Lightning Bolt (12 dice) 2/day
III Touch of possessor kills green plants and crumbles them to dust.
IV Yearning to be worshipped is uncontrollable; those failing to bow and scrape will be instantly attacked.
V Summon djinn or efreet lord for 1 day of service 1/week
I think you can see why I changed it a bit.

[khyron1144]

This artifact is not entirely conventional. It was created by the Slaad Lords and Lucifer (in Terra, he's a CN Power), and it has no physical form. It's closer to something like a disease, a very specific form of madness, or a possessing entity. I am trying to convey within this description some of the confusion and weirdness that this artifact engenders in its possessor. The "artifact" in question has come to be known as The Cosmic Joke.
This one has not gone through much revision in terms of powers and effects, but I had to work for a while to create a semi-comprehensible spacing/flow for it:


The Cosmic Joke
Let me fill your heart with laughter;
Togetherness is all I'm after.
-The Jackson 5, "I'll Be There"
The Joke has no substance.  It affects the mind of its user/host.

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes.
-Katy Perry, "Hot 'N Cold"
It's rather distracting and leads to a scattered state of mind.  It's kind of like having an MP3 player on shuffle with an infinite battery in your head.

We can act like we come from out of this world;
Leave the real one far behind.
-Men Without Hats, "Safety Dance"
A host/possessee/possessor with access to spells from the Wizard spell list, often by way of having levels in a Wizard subclass or something like Bard, Gypsy, or Jester, is treated as if he was a Wild Mage subject to random caster level fluctuations and wild surges.

A little gamblin' is fun when you're with me
-Lady Gaga, "Pokerface"
All utterances made by the Joke's host/possessee/possessor are subjected to either a Tongues spell or a Babble spell (50% chance of either).

Yo! I'll tell you what I want
What I really, really want
-The Spice Girls, "Wannabe"/ "Weird" Al Yankovic, "All Star Polka"
Any time the host/possessee/possessor attempts to retrieve something from an extra-dimensional storage space (Bag of Holding, Portable Hole, Heward's Handy Haversack, Key of Storage, even a Bag of Devouring), he has a 50% chance to retrieve the item and a 50% chance to withdraw a 1D6 roll:
1 Bag of Tricks furball
2 Bag of Beans bean
3 Deck of Many Things card
4 Deck of Illusions card
5 Robe of Useful Items patch
6 Robe of Useless Items patch

But don't play with me;
'Cause you're playing with fire.
-The Rolling Stones, "Play With Fire"
Besides these rather dubious "powers", the Cosmic Joke bestows on its host/possessee/possessor the following powers and side effects:

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst!
-Katy Perry, "Firework"
I:  Color Spray 3/day

I wanna get out of this city alive,
And make like an apeman.
-The Kinks, "Apeman"
I:  Speak With Animals 3/day

I'm not like them, but I can pretend.
-Nirvana, "Dumb"
I:  Speak With Plants 7/week

Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
-Lady Gaga, "Pokerface"
I: Web 1/day

Facing the world ain't easy.
-The Kinks, "Get Back in Line"
I:  Immune to Fear

Why they changed it I can't say;
People just liked it better that way.
-They Might Be Giants, "Constantinople"
II:  Transmute Rock to Mud 2/day

Be a crack jackanapes,
And they'll imitate you like apes.
-Cole Porter, "Be A Clown"
II:  Confusion 1/day

Don't believe everything you breathe.
-Beck, "Loser"
III:  Yelling becomes necessary to invoke spells with verbal components.

Wear the cap and the bells,
And you'll rate with all the great swells.
-Cole Porter, "Be A Clown"
IV:  Geas/Quest placed on host/possessee/possessor to get him/her to embarass an authority figure.

You're not the boss of me now,
And you're not so big.
-They Might Be Giants, "Boss of Me"
IV:  The Cosmic Joke is powerless against and hates Athach, and when within 10" (that is AD&D 1e's scale inches) of an Athach host/possessee/possessor must attack.

While we're still active,
Let's misbehave!
-Cole Porter, "Let's Misbehave"
V:  Prismatic Spray 1/day

I don't feel safe in this world no more;
I don't want to die in a nuclear war;
I want to sail away to a distant shore,
And make like an apeman.
-The Kinks, "Apeman"
V:  Shape Change 2/day

Your love-life will run into trouble, when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest.
-"Weird" Al Yankovic, "Your Horoscope For Today"
VI:  The alignment of The Cosmic Joke's host/possessee/possessor changes to CN.



I was working from vague memories of having written this sentence when I started work on statting the Cosmic Joke:
Lucifer, Ssendam, and Ygorl secretly collaborate on The Cosmic Joke, a unique spell/ disease/ non-corporeal entity that can accomplish much with the right corporeal host, yet which is not under anyone's control, particularly not the entities that created it; They believe that to be part of the punchline.

[khyron1144]

Elven Artifacts of Rulership
The Bow and Quiver of Excellence
A Composite Long Bow +6.  For an elven ruler it also has the accuracy effect (everything that can be seen is short range).
The quiver magically produces up to 100 arrows a day and weighs no more than a standard quiver.  The arrows are always whatever material type is needed (cold iron, silver, adamantine, etc.) and of +6 enchantment.  Up to 3 arrows a day may be given a slaying effect (as per arrow of slaying).  The quiver does not function at all for anyone who is not the rightul ruler of the elves.

A true elven Pharaoh gains the following additional powers:
I Web once a day
II Cone of Cold of 10 dice damage twice a day
VI Lycanthropy, Wereraven version, inflicted on possessor.  An involuntary change is 50% likely in any combat situation.



Cloak of the Forest Born
On anyone this acts as a Cloak of Elvenkind.  If a true Pharaoh of Elves finds himself in combat while wearing the Cloak of the Forest Born, it confers a combination of the powers of a Cloak of Protection (+6 Enchantment), Cloak of Displacement, and Robe of the Archmagi constantly.  It may be commanded to act as a Robe of Scintillating colors at the Pharaoh's option.  In addition the Pharaoh has the access to following powers through the Cloak:
I Feather Fall (a command word must be spoken but unlimited number of uses)
I Pass Without Trace once per day
II Animal Summoning II up to twice a day
III Small fires, such as torches, are extinguished when a major power is used.


The Tome of Great Magics
For anyone not of Elvish descent, this book confers no beneficial effects other than being a spellbook.  In fact, it even acts as a cursed Loadstone item on such an individual.  To a true Pharaoh of Elves it is first and foremost a spellbook of great capacity (it has been in use for 30,000 years and still has plenty of blank pages) that weighs no more than a travelling spell book.  Shining Leaves, the first Great Pharaoh to hold the Tome, was a specialized Song Wizard and the book now contains every known spell of the School of Song.  Upon first acquiring the Tome, a new Pharaoh, after studying the Tome of Great Magics for a week, gains the benefits of a Tome of Clear Thought and a Libram of Gainful Conjuration or Libram of Silver Magics (whichever is appropriate to his or her alignment; there has never been a Pharaoh of Elves fallen to Evil during his or her natural lifespan).
I Speak With Animals usable up to three times a day
I Speak With Plants usable up to seven times a week
III Possessor's Hair Turns White

As long as the Pharaoh of Elves has all three items in his possession, he has the following powers and limitations:
I Detect Evil upon command word unlimited uses
II Polymorph Self up to seven times a week
IV These artifacts are powerless against Green Dragons (the Bow is still +6, the quiver does not function, the Cloak is still a Cloak of Elvenkind, and spells already memorized from the Tome are still memorized).  Yet the possessor of these artifacts is filled with such hatred for Green Dragons that he must attack them if he or she should stray within 100 feet of a Green Dragon.
V Creeping Doom usable once per day.
VI When a Major or Prime power is used, all within twenty feet, including the possessor, must save vs. spell or suffer a fear effect that compels them to flee.




This is the previous version that the above writeup replaces:
The Bow and Quiver of Excellence
A Composite Long Bow +6.  For an elven ruler it also has the accuracy effect (everything that can be seen is short range).
The quiver magically produces up to 100 arrows a day and weighs no more than a standard quiver.  The arrows are always whatever material type is needed (cold iron, silver, adamantine, etc.) and of +6 enchantment.  Up to 3 arrows a day may be given a slaying effect (as per arrow of slaying).  The quiver does not function at all for anyone who is not the rightul ruler of the elves.

A true elven king gains the following additional powers:

I Color Spray 3/day
II Cone of Cold (12 dice) 2/day
III Possessor's hair turns white.
IV Item is powerless against and hates Green Dragons, when within 10" (that's movement/ range inches for minis that 1e used, probably translates to something like 50 feet or more) of any Green Dragon possessor must attack.
V Meteor Swarm 1/day
VI Whenever this item is used as a weapon to strike an enemy, the item does double damage but the wielder takes normal damage.