Video Games and Unidentified Flying Esophogi

[Higgs Boson]

I shall now commence with reviewing games i feel are worthy of people's time, or that are so damn bad they just deserved to be laughed at.

1.) World of Warcraft

Now, i have been an avid W.o.W. player since April '05. I am now 1 week clean. (yay for me!) Anyways, All in all, its not that bad of a game, but like all MMO's (Massively Multiplayer Online), they can be completely ruined by Female Elves, young stupid adolescents, and Chuck Norris. For instance, "The Barrens". Anyone who has ever played Horde side on WoW will know what I'm talking about. Example:
Player 1: Hey, Chuck Norris ownz u all u n0obzorz!!1!!11!
Player 2: DO you have any intelligence whatsoever?
Player 3: Your mom is Chuck Norris!
Player 4: I like pizza. And beer.
Player 1: Chuck norris inv3nted pizza u noobzor!!!1!!!

anywho, you get the picture. Its not much better in Teldrassil, the Night Elf's starting place. nearly nekked masses of female elves running around sputing off "I ownzor u u stupid noob!". Anyways, the high-end gear is hard to come by if you are a casual player, and PvP isn't mych better, for the new "Arena" you have to be dedicated to a daily schedule. I found it entertaining for a while, the guild system is actually quite good.  however, around level 38, grinding/questing (grinding is just killing monsters for xp) becomes nothing less than a chore. I give it a 7/10, because despite its faults, it still is not that bad and has managed to attract over 7 million players.

[the_taken]

The bane of all online games is the prevalence of pubescent boys with average intelligence and lack of in-room supervision. They've ruined a many CT experiences, with clogings of Starcraft and Diablo games with messeges of 'cheater' (actually, you just suck), 'stupid hacker' (I'm not stupid), and simply strung foul language (the same three words). Also, they regularly bring up your (or your mother's) sexuality.

When I was twelve, I said stuff "Good Game. How'd you do it?" or "You're good. Teach me."

[Higgs Boson]

Exactly my point here. Except they tend to spell horribly, and when you tell them that, they just spell worse.

[Ninja D!]

Those people that spell like that are horrifying.

[Ishmayl-Retired]

When I was twelve, I said stuff "Good Game. How'd you do it?" or "You're good. Teach me."

I think you hit in the head right there why I avoid MMORPGs (for the most part - I still play Diablo 2).  Every time I get into one, there is about 2% of the gaming population who actually wants to help "noobs," about 8-10% of the population who just want to be left blessedly alone, and the rest of the 90% or so just want to plop it out on the table and annoy the hell out of everyone else*.  Granted, Diablo 2 is just like that, but at least I'm good enough at it that if someone talks smack to me, I'll just kill 'em. ')

*Stats made up, I do that sometimes.

[Higgs Boson]

Review number 2

2.) Vanguard: Saga of Heroes

Pros: Diplomacy, awesome crafting system, and the learning curve/difficulty has eliminated the "Heralds of Chuck Norris" as i call them.

Cons: Released too early, difficult, more focused on the hard-core gamer so leveling after 10 requires grouping pretty much, High system reqs

I played the VG beta for about 2 months, then the game fro about 2 months. There are 20 races, i think, and 15 classes. The classes are quite well thought out and are each included in 4 different groups.
Heavy Fighter- Warrior, Paladin, Dread Knight
Light Fighter- Rogue, Bard, Monk, Ranger
Defensive Caster- Cleric, Blood Mage, Shaman, Disciple
Offensive Caster- Psion, Necromancer, Sorceror, Druid

After those, there are two more yet to come, and these two are very interestying to me: Bezerker and Inquisitor. The Inquisitor is sort-of a anti-mage tank, and the Bezerker is a damage dealer that deals more damage the more damage he takes. So, the bezerker noobs will give up veruy early, sort of like natural selection.
The Bard is an amazing class imo, as they incorparate the songs, an dyou can even creat your own songs, with customized names and a large selection of boosts to choose from. For instance, my level 10 bard had about 4 different songs on his cast bar. One would increase his speed, one would focus on increasing his attacks, one for group speed, and one for group attacks. The songs drain mana while being played, but usually it is not that noticeable.

You can go from levels 1-50 in crafting and adventuring. Crafting you can choose from Blacksmith, Artisan, and Tailor. Blacksmiths make armor and weapons, Tailors make light armor, and Artisans make the trinkety things, but at higher levels they can even make boats and houses!

Another great thing is non-instanced player housing.

Then, after all that, Vanguard offers a brand-new thing: Diplomacy! this i love. You play it sort of as a card game, and a dialogue goes on in the backround that can be quite interesting.
Also, the graphics are amazing. however, even with all that, Vanguard has loads of bugs they nee to work out.

You pay a high price for all that, as the Vanguard folder takes about 20 gigs of hard drive space. I personally stopped playing it to check out WoW again, but as soon as finals are over i'm heading back in. You can find me on Florendyl with Telnai the Dark Elf Monk.

[Higgs Boson]

oh, also i forgot one thing: I give it a 9/10.

[Gwaihir Windlord]

I'm going to get Company of Heroes tomorrow, and I was wondering if I could get some reviews on it.  I've done my homework and the only common gripes are:
Lack of time delay between calling for air support and it arriving.
Skirmish AI is way too hard.
Tanks won't prioritize other tanks.
Some pathfinding issues.

[Higgs Boson]

I, beign the ultra-wise Jedi Master that I am, have heard multiple reviews following those problems you have had. I have never actually played it myself, but i will get back to you quickly on usual problems. Which brings me to another point of this thread: If anyone would like info on games, etc. i will be happy to find some for you.

[Higgs Boson]

I have heard the same things, as said above, but i personaly think that those things are just minor little issues that just weed out the weak from the strong in RTS game genres. Now, someone ask me about something else...my brain is in dire need of something-or-other...i think its called "oxygen"....*passes out*....ok im back.

[SDragon]

I've been enjoying Guild Wars: Nightfall, now that I have it. The combat system seems a little glossed over at first (click-and-forget?), and it takes a bit to adjust to the average pace of combat with more then one NPC/monster, but other then that, it's great fun!