The Phoenix

[Stargate525]

This the beginning of the story I'm planning on using to help tell my new campaign setting  here. Hopefully the thing will stand on its own merit, which is why I'm going to be putting it here too.

Comments are appreciated, as usual.

[spoiler=introductions]"She's a beautiful ship, Katie." Ross said as they crossed the crowded lobby, "Built in the shipyards of Chrom. She can outrun any ship in the sector, she's... Watch it ya great lump!" He shouted as a passing Trithean sidestepped around them. "Damn aliens... Where was I?"

"Outrun any ship in the sector," Katie replied absently, continuing to stare into her book.

"Right," Ross continued unabated. "Best ship in the whole damned galaxy, wouldn't trade her for the world. Here we are, Dock 324, the Phoenix."

Katie looked from her book to the scrap heap that occupied the majority of dock 324, searching for the ship. She was about to ask where it was when she spotted the landing struts and dim glow of the sub-light engines sticking out of the pile. "What battle did you fly this thing through?"

Katie ascended the ramp behind Ross into the Phoenix, and she had to admit that the inside looked better than the outside.

"You share your room with D'Brell," Ross said, pointing sternward, "second hatchway on the left. Engine room access is on the lower..."

"Welcome back Ross." A voice said from behind Katie. Turning, she saw that a young human, male, about 30, dressed in a clean version of Ross's wrinkled olive jumpsuit had appeared behind her. "Ah, welcome to you as well, Katie Beckman."

"Damnit Nicholas, how many times do I have to tell you NOT TO DO THAT!"

"I'm sorry Captain," Nicholas replied, "I merely wished to welcome our new engineer. Would you like me to show you the ship, Katie Beckman?"

"No thanks," Katie said, "and 'Kat' will do."

"Very well." Nicholas said. He walked up to Ross, stepped through him as if he wasn't there, and continued towards the bow. Ross shuddered and shouted after him, "Indignant hologram!"

"Over-sensitive organic!" Nicholas rebutted before ducking into a hatchway and dissapearing from view.[/spoiler]

[Numinous]

I like it.  I mean, it feels incomplete, but a lot of ideas are hinted at and displayed in it.  The alien prejudice, and a nifty take on holograms making "Nicholas" a bit more human than he might be otherwise.  I look forward to more.

[Captain Obvious]

Looking good so far. I'll reserve my full commentary until there's a bit more down, but i like it. I'm a big fan of hologram people, too.
One heads up (and this is just based off of a paragraph mind you) but i am noticing a lot of similarities to Firefly.
But, it has just been a paragraph, so this is just the initial impression.

Keep it up. I look forwards to more.   :yumm:

[Stargate525]

Sorry, more character exposition, I promise I'll get to the good stuff soon.

[spoiler=More intro]Katie watched as Ross followed after Nicholas; Whether he was on a mission of revenge or simply his original destination, she didn't really want to know. She thought she heard Ross shouting again as she moved sternward, which only made her accelerate her pace.

She passed through a small living area before reaching any hatchways. The room was spartan, a few thinly cushioned chairs and a well worn table were the primary occupants of the room. To her right, partially concealed by a windowed bulkhead, was a spiral staircase leading down, as well as what looked to be a rather ill-kept galley.

She continued sternward and found the hatchway. She opened it to the comparatively dim illumination of several dozen candles perched on nearly every available flat surface. In the center of the room sat a figure Katie hoped was D'Brell. The figure opened one eye and trained it on the intruder, "Who are you?"

"Kat," Katie said a little nervously, "You're D'Brell?" The figure continued to stare at her, "I'll just be going then..."

"You have the top bunk," D'Brell said to Kat's turned back, "you may place your things in the starboard locker."

"Thanks," Kat replied, moving across the room. She quickly tossed her bag into the locker and made a hasty retreat.[/spoiler]


About the firefly thing... yeah, I kinda noticed that too. Will avoid plagiarism if at all possible, but Firefly's a great show... best form of flattery and all.

[Stargate525]

[spoiler=Engineering]Kat made her way to the end of this ship, entered engineering, and nearly fell over the railing of the catwalk. She saw three things that she was not expecting; a two-deck engineering, a spatial compression engine, and a very complex computer console waiting for her on the main deck. She quickly revised her opinion of the small ship she had been hired for, as ugly as she was on the outside, the Phoenix was fast. Not to mention packing computer power she had only seen on cruisers.

You settled in yet Beckman? Kat recognized Ross's voice as she pulled herself back over the railing. We want to get outta here sometime today, if it's not too inconvenient for you.

Kat slid down the ladder and slapped the comm on the engineering console. "I'm on it Captain." The controls were a tad bit alien to her, but she soon found the ignition systems and fired up the maneuvering thrusters. Kat put the main engines on standby for when Nicholas would need them, and began to reconfigure the console.[/spoiler]

[Stargate525]

[spoiler=And we finally have some action!]Control this is the Hrothen, dock 324, requesting vectors for departure.

Confirmed Hrothen, you are cleared for departure along pattern Beta-2, uploading coordinate data now. Have a pleasant flight.

Nicholas closed the channel thoughtfully. Leaving Freeport Station usually took hours, their few departure routes famous for causing delays and backups. There was even a myth that a crew had died of starvation waiting for docking clearance, and their ship still orbited in the holding pattern. Patently ridiculous. Nicholas knew the average wait times for all the stations in the sector, and Freeport Station's 3.453 hours was high, but certainly not starvation-worthy.

They were barely past the final navigation marker before another ship cruised past them, heading inbound along the route they had just traveled. Nicholas maneuvered the ship past the rings of waiting ships and into open space. Some time passed before he informed Ross, "We are out of Freeport Station's sensor radius."

"Good, now let's get this junk off our hull and get on our way before..." Ross's sentence  was interrupted by an explosion that rattled the hull and would have dashed everyone to the floor were they not strapped in. "The hell was that?!"

"I don't know," Xentic snapped at him, looking at his console as if it had betrayed him, "There's nothing out there!"

"Then what's the hell's shooting at us?"

"Ross, what's going on?" the comm crackled to life, "Are we under attack?" Nicholas recognized Katie... Kat's voice, and sighed. Ross would not be thrilled at an interruption right now.

He began evasive maneuvers as Ross shouted his reply into his headset, "No princess, we just decided to play chicken with an asteroid! D'Brell!" Ross had apparently changed frequencies, "Get to the guns, they've found us."

"I'm coming." Was her reply. moments later she spoke again, "I don't have any targeting data, where are they?"

"We don't know, they're using some kind of..." Xentic was cut off by the sound Nicholas had quickly learned to fear, the metallic shrieking and groaning of the ship being hit directly by weapons fire, closely followed by the deep thrumming of an engaged tractor beam.

"Where were our shields?" Ross said as calmly as he could. Silence. Nicholas dared not speak, hoping that Ross had forgotten who's responsibility it was, and that Kat had enough sense to...

"uhh... Sorry sir?"

...keep quiet. Nicholas sighed again, he had hopes for Kat; she had his engines waiting for him without his needing to ask. It was a pity that she had only lasted a few hours.

"Katie, in the future, when we are being bombarded... TURN ON THE FRIGGIN' SHIELDS!"

There came what sounded like something large and slow hitting the side of the hull, then an explosion. The hull breach warnings blared out as Ross fought with the locked-down bridge door. Nicholas quickly understood what Ross was concerned about; Kat didn't know what would be waiting for her at the sight of the explosion. Not waiting for Ross to finish with the door, Nicholas sprang from his seat, moved through both Ross and the door, and came face to face with one of the intruders. He stopped his intended attack just in time; there, down the hallway, Thage had Kat by the throat, with a pistol to her temple.[/spoiler]

[Stargate525]

[ooc]This contains death and some perhaps grisly stuff. You have been warned.[/ooc]
[spoiler=More action and a death]"Thage you damned Vacar, how the hell did you find us?" Ross spat as the bridge door finally opened. Kat swiveled her eyes up to see the monster that had her as a hostage. At least she could take comfort that she'd know the name of the thing that would kill her.

"Not a step further, commander," Thage sneered, "Or your newest recruit here gets her brains turned into vapor." Ross, to Kat's surprise, obediently stopped. "Very good. Search the ship." The two other beings that had come with Vacar moved past them below decks.

"And don't try any of that hero business with me, Ross." Thage continued, "I've taken the liberty of improving my arsenal since you saw me. This pistol's a special Vacar make, exquisite range, accurate to within  a half millimeter, and can be set to fire whenever a  weapon hits its wield-" There was a flash, a loud bang, and the Vacar's body suddenly went limp.

Kat struggled out of the falling Vacar's grasp as Ross walked towards the prone figure. "I've improved my arsenal too Thage. This here, a Flink & Ubrel semi-automatic. Very, very old technology, shoots a lead ball at the target, very painful." Ross was standing next to Thage, "It's hard to find ammunition for it, true, but..." Ross placed a heavy boot on the side of Thage's head, "It doesn't even register itself as weapons fire."

There was a grunt, a loud crack, and the Vacar's pistol rolled out of his limp, dead hand.[/spoiler]