Crisis of Conscience: A Superhero Novel

[Ariel Hapzid]

So I began working on a superhero novel that I've been kicking around now for 2 years. I'm going to present to you guys a little bit about the ideas I've been kicking around. I have tons of characters (some may say too many) Here's a quick rundown on the plot, characters, and setting:

Plot

I don't have a lot down here, just the rough shell of a story, but I'm doing my best!

The Guardians are the main super team of the story. Originally composing of 4 heroes, a horrible battle with a wide array of villains (the 100 or so members of The Rogues Gallery) which leads to the death of 3 members. (Portal, Supernova, and Silver Sentinel) leaving on Invisible Man alive. That fight will probably be my Prologue. It then leads into:

 

Part One: Secret Origins

Now, one year later, Invisible Man has removed himself from everyday life aboard a sentient alien starship, known as  The Vigilant where he sits and watches events unfold. This is the part of the story where I will introduce the heroes who will become the new members of the Guardians. Each will have a chapter or so of Origin story. Then an event will lead to them working together and Invisible Man will reveal himself, inviting them to help him rebuild the Guardians.

This is all leading up to Part Three (no title chosen) but involves the machinations of The Rogues Gallery and their toppling of a third world country for their own benefits, their control of the Economy, and their shot at the Presidency. These aren't villains creating Death Rays here, they want the world, and are going to go the most logical way about it. a way that we won't even see coming until it is too late.

 

Characters

THE ORIGINAL GUARDIANS

-Portal
Capable of creating doorways through space and time that can even allow other people to travel with him. He is presumed dead, crushed beneath a building. However, secret to our heroes, he in fact survived. Only to create a doorway in a panic and end up millions of Light Years away.

-Supernova
Able to absorb the radiation of the sun and redirect it, during the battle she absorbs too much and dies from the poisoning. She was the love interest (wife, girlfriend, I haven't decided yet) and is one of the factors that drives him in his personal war against the Rogues Gallery.  

-Silver Sentinel
Made of living metal, he could control his core temperature and become molten, melting and burning through objects. He dies when he is shot with bullets that drill through his hardened metallic flesh and explode within him.

-Invisible Man
The World's Richest Man Alive, and the Smartest Man Alive, Thomas Clayton created cloaking technology which he used to fashion a suit that could render him invisible at will (he also has other cool gadgets, like a jet back that can become cloaked. He discovered the hidden starship orbiting our moon, and has been living there since the death of his friends. He begins as a carefree adventurer but slowly descends into a level of obsession along the lines of Captain Ahab. Claytech (his Fortune 500 company) produces all manner of technology, from hearing aides to cell phones, to laptops, to fuel efficient vehicles.

 THE NEW GUARDIANS

After the fall of his friends, Invisible Man decides to rebuild the team, bigger and more powerful then before.

-Crusader
Since the dawn of time, there has always been a Crusader, the hero of mankind. The last Crusader was killed by a group of villains who ripped him limb from limb. He was 87 years old, when he became the Crusader he was young and strong again. A young kid named Stephen stumbles upon the old man dying in the gutter with a sword in his hand. The old man gives it to him and with it Stephen's journeys begin. When he falls asleep, Stephen is thrust into a dream world and tested. The sword guides him and speaks to him in his sleep. When he awakes the first morning, he has chain mail armor, enchanted and impervious to any weapon. The second morning he has a helm that blesses him with strength and the ability to become Crusader! Defender of Mankind. The sword is also enchanted, and claims to be the same sword Arthur drew, and the same sword that Susa-no-o gave to be used against the Serpent of Koshi. The sword cuts through anything, he is strong, and the armor protects him from harm.

-Nightstalker
100 years old, Nightstalker is a vampire who grew tired of his live of decadence. Using his dark gifts, he fights against to be a hero again. He doesn't necessarily turn against Vampire kind, and he doesn't stop feeding, but he hopes that the good he does is worth the blood he needs for sustenance. He has strength, speed, healing, heightened senses, and other vampire powers.

-Centurion
Jak was born 800 years from now. Growing up learning about the Centurion and his adventures, he loved the historical figure, a martyr who died fighting an alien invasion, an act that destroyed the menace. He graduated from MIT where he began constructing technology that might give him similar powers. Flight, Strength, Speed, Invulnerability, and Psychic gifts. When his creation was complete, he dressed himself like Centurion, cut his hair like him, and went out to save the world. During a battle with a villain known as the Time Bandit, he was teleported back to the year 2001 and stranded there. Nobody knew who he was. Then Jak realized, HE was the Centurion, and it was HIM who had to die saving the world.

-Living Tank
When Thomas Clayton's nephew is diagnosed with a horrible disease, there is nothing anyone can do for her. He comes to visit his brother, offer condolences, and asks to see the boy in private. It was there, in the hospital room that Clayton injected the boy with Nanobots, which cured him of his disease and included a few other side effects. He can withstand all manner of injuries, the Nanobots sew him back together. There are also a number of other possible powers, like he can excrete a hard steel shell from his pours and lift cars. He might also be able to mentally communicate with computers and the internet.

-Vigilante
A High School History teacher, Vigilante has no powers. But after a kid brings a gun to school, he is shot disarming the shooter. After his recovery, he realizes the problems with his city. Puts on a mask and sets out to right them. He has a keen mind, and some would say is one of the greatest detectives ever. He always guesses the killer in the first 15 minutes of CSI and solves the diagnosis in the first 30 minutes of House, even without any experience in either fields.

-Audry, the Scarlet Sorceress
Orphaned as a kid, she was adopted by an odd owner of a local bookstore. He was a master of the occult and trained her in the ways of Sorcery. He is one of the greatest masters of magic left on earth and defends it from all manner of otherworldly enemies.

-Hydra
A mutated woman with scales, a long tail, slight regenerative powers, claws, and she can spit venom. She's a bit of a mystery in that she was born this way, and no one knows why.

-Artemis
The virgin Greek goddess of the Moon and the hunt, she was sent by Zeus back to Earth to save it from an oncoming crisis.

 THE ROGUES GALLERY

If you thought that was a lot of heroes, wait till you see the villains! I'll try to keep their descriptions a little more brief.

-Agent X- A former Soviet Spy Master, he was paralyzed long ago, but after millions in dollars of surgeries he is back on his feet and back offering his deadly services to the highest bidder.
-Daemon- A poor human who transforms to a horrible demon at night.
-Legionnaire- A leftover Nazi Super Clone, he is one of the few who were frozen after the war and is back with a vengeance.
-Huntsman- A master Archer and mercenary from Africa.
-Sigfried- A Norse hero with a mace forged by frost giants.
-Count Orlock- The vampire the movie Nosferatu was based upon, he is an ancient vampire who has delved deeply into dark lore.
-Tesla- A weapons designer who wields a Lightning Gun and Tazer Gloves.
-The Eye- The little voice in the Villain's ear who keeps tabs on all the heroes and villains, their powers, and their weaknesses.
-Titan- A fugitive capable of growing 50 ft tall.
-Manikin- He can animate simple inanimate objects, nothings finer then a small army of lingerie manikins attacking the city.
-Witch Hunter- A crazed religious zealot who believes those who use magic are in league with the devil and must be killed.
-Koschei the Deathless- Russian Folklore warrior who cannot die.
-Graviton- Can increase or decrease the force of gravity with his machine.

Setting

The Story is set in Avalon City. The Mayor is more than likely a secret member of the Rogues Gallery (not sure yet).

Popular among kids are a new line of designer drugs that can momentarily give you powers.
-Super Serum- Strength
-Quickie- Amazingly Fast Reflexes
-Gunk- Reacts randomly with your cellular structure producing a random power (sometimes good sometimes bad.)
These are all highly addictive.

[Ariel Hapzid]

Feel free to comment. I did my best to come up with some original (or half-way original) heroes. Which is tough, since so much has been done in the world of Comics. This is going my novel for National Novel Writing Month, and I'm going to post it here on the CBG with daily updates. I just could use some real opinions.

[LordVreeg]

Willett,

My 2 cents is to go into the graphic novel mindset, in that what made these people such extreme personalities was also pretty extreme.  I'd personally get a little adult with human foibles and weaknesses.  

I'd also get rid of the black and white, done to death 'group of heroes vs group of villains' cliche.  I think that there could be one or 2 major villaians controlling a number of the other darker crews and getting them to do things that might further this...
[blockquote=Willett]This is all leading up to Part Three (no title chosen) but involves the machinations of The Rogues Gallery and their toppling of a third world country for their own benefits, their control of the Economy, and their shot at the Presidency. These aren't villains creating Death Rays here, they want the world, and are going to go the most logical way about it. a way that we won't even see coming until it is too late. [/blockquote]

Greedy egotistical uber-people band together poorly, especially if most of them want to rule or dominate.  But having cells or individual villains that are being manipulated is more realistic and also gives the invisible man something to turn his intellect to, a mystery to solve.  It can go on for a few issues with you leaving clues that the reader can see when looking backwards.

[Ariel Hapzid]

Very good points. I think for my story, the level of violence will be very adult. It will ask the question: If you can crush someone's skull with one hand, should you? Some of the Heroes will not want to kill, while some will have no problem doing that. This is a group who will enforce a law that they believe in.

Mostly I think this story is going to be about Terrorism. Think about it, that's what these "Super Villains" are. And their attack that killed the original Guardians is seen as 9-11 to the people of Avalon City.

And then I thought about why these villains would want to work together. There are many benefits, if you're robbing a bank to fund some project, you can request help easily. There's the villain "The Eye" who is basically the Oracle of this world. Except instead of working for heroes he works for the villains. Telling them the weaknesses of their opponents, and other useful information. There's also medical attention (try going to the ER when you're a wanted terrorist!) so I think that while they may not love each other (for the most part) they could work towards a common goal. I also want to point out, that these are human beings. I'm sure that even Bin Laden had friends. Just because they deal in wholesale slaughter and are trying to bring anarchy doesn't mean they can't have relationships. That's kind of a trope of comic books that I want to get over.

In fact, the fact that these villains can work well together is what makes them so dangerous.

[Ariel Hapzid]

I think I have an idea for what the Villains are up to.

They are going to make one of their own the President of the United States.

Basically they create the perfect candidate (a true villain in disguise, or a genetically engineered human) and create his back story. All of it is faked. Then the throw him in the presidential race. He will have a tough time, he'll be considered an underdog. but as more and more of his opponents drop out or are disgraced as secrets from their past come to light. He eventually nabs the Democratic Nomination. His platform is based upon the idea of regulating and militarizing super humans. Using technology to create the strongest military force on the face of the planet. More powerful than the atom bomb! Imagine, using a super serum to create a battalion of men who can lift a tank. Instead of wasting money on armor, why not make them bulletproof? He will eventually crush his republican nominee.

This won't be the only plot line, but more of an underlying through-plot. This is going on as the Guardians (mostly Vigilante) begin to piece together events which on their own are isolated incidents, but as a whole are the beginnings of a War on Power.

[Ninja D!]

I could go over this part by part and tell you what I think but I don't think that is really needed.  Simply put, this doesn't feel very original at all.  But, as you said, most things with heroes has been done.  You can't escape that.  There is much in this that is tired and old but can still be made interesting.  What it all comes down to, really, is how you write it.  It could be entertaining or it could be really lame.  Try to focus on the people more than their superhero personas and make sure you write in a way that holds people.

[Ariel Hapzid]

good point I suppose.

[Ariel Hapzid]

Well I had had an idea before, that was super heroes during the Civil War instead of during modern days.

[Ninja D!]

So that means you're not attached to your story, then?  If that's the case, why bother?  If you have a story that you want to tell, tell it.  A lot of people will not like it.  Some probably will.  If you don't want it bad enough you will just work on it for a while and then stop, anyway.  Trust me, I've had an idea for a 'novel' I'm been kicking around in my head off and on for at least five years.  I've started writing several times but something is always not quite how I want with it and I stop.  I hope that someday I will fix that and write it.  It should be the same for you.  If you know what the story you want to tell is, tell it.  Otherwise you should mold it into the story you want to tell, find a new story, or just tell no stories at all.

Civil war super heroes could be interesting but it would also be difficult to write well without quite a lot of research.