Broken Verge: Mortals and Immortals

[Polycarp]

Well ok then!

Melek

I'm having trouble reconciling the usual appearance of the Melek.  On the one hand, they 'emulate' humanity and 'become invisible' to people who aren't looking for them, but on the other they are 'motley creatures quickly stitched together by some capricious god.'  The impression I get is that they are capable of closely imitating humanity, if they have access to all the 'correct' parts, but often do not '" human parts are described to be in high demand, implying that this demand somewhat outstrips supply.  The descriptions you use conflict a bit, making me unsure exactly how keen an eye has to be before it would recognize that the individual was not actually a human.

What occurs to me is that the appearance and role of the Melek in society would depend heavily on class.  A wealthy Melek, presumably, can easily find the parts it needs to fit in with human society, but lower class Melek would be forced to scrounge for parts, many of which would be damaged, partially decayed, mismatched, or not from humans at all.  An upper-class Melek, presumably, would not want to associate with such mongrels (after all, he's trying to fit in with polite human society), hinting at a possible divide between those with resources and those without.  This conflicts a bit with the clan loyalty '" do Melek in a clan share resources and/or parts, or does the opportunity to better assimilate into human culture cause some to abandon clan responsibilities?

All this also causes me to wonder what a Melek looks like when born.  Their shape is generally human, but the prevalence of acquiring human parts implies that they can't naturally pass for human.  So what does a 'natural' Melek look like?

Moshrayah

The appearance of these guys lends credibility to their history.  Things with 'sharp ebony claws,' in my experience, tend to be enemies rather than friends of humankind, to say nothing of the face.  My first question is why, given this history of persecution, they are at all interested in living beneath human cities.  Presumably the race survived ably before their contact with humans; what has changed that makes living among (well, below) their former tormentors so desirable?  Does human culture simply offer so many new experiences that they can't resist, or is there some kind of economic incentive here?

You describe the current relationship between the Moshrayah and humans as 'wary acceptance,' and I'd like to see that expanded on.  How universal is this acceptance?  City-dwelling humans may be familiar with them, but what about their counterparts outside the cities '" would some groups of humans still treat them as monsters?

Swarm Gods

Firstly, let me say that I am a great fan of mysterious origins, but I foresee difficulties involved in making the origins of a player race completely unknown.  Are even the Swarm Gods themselves unaware of how their larvae come to be, or are they actively concealing their knowledge from humans?

I like the idea of a god known through 'racial memory.'  It's a cool idea and a very reasonable explanation for a universal faith.  You mentioned human interest in the Unforgotten, and I think it would be very worthwhile to delve into human cults of Tchekhryszebh and how these 'faithful' are treated by the Swarm Gods themselves.  

(How is that pronounced anyway?  'Check-ree-zeb?'  This might sound like hypocrisy given my propensity for coining challenging names in my own campaign building, but I'd recommend at least considering making the name easier on everyone else.)

The idea of racial morality is a little bit less attractive to me.  My own personal attitude towards race construction is that 'alignment' and 'morality' are always cultural, never racial, and that thinking creatures by definition have the ability to construct their own views of the world and rules for acting therein.  Are the swarmkin actually under some kind of innate compulsion to find lying abominable?  The use of 'conscience' tends to imply that these moral standards are subconscious.  It might be more interesting if they weren't '" the prohibition against lying is 'written' in their mind but conveys no obligation to follow it, as if everyone knew the Ten Commandments at birth but still possessed the free will to follow or ignore them.  While most swarmkin would probably still try to adhere to the rules out of respect for their god, this construction preserves their free will and avoids comparisons to the 'Always CE' line at the end of a Monstrous Manual entry.

Your reference to the written word is well-considered.  It does seem like creatures damned to forget everything would rely heavily on written records to preserve their own personal and cultural histories.  'They define themselves by the acquisition and loss of knowledge' is a very good line and something worth keeping in the front of your mind as you explore their social interactions and lifestyles in more depth.

I am a bit concerned that the natural revulsion humans (and other races, potentially) have for them circumscribes their opportunities as PCs.  I don't really have anything else to say about that without knowing more about their social status in human-dominated society, but it is something to watch out for.  If you make a race too despised or repulsive, it becomes very hard to involve them in the same adventures as other, more readily accepted PCs.

Urluq

Most of the entry on Urluq is about their physical capabilities and weaknesses.  All this is important to know given their very alien physiology, but it leaves me feeling that I have less to go on regarding their culture and attitudes than I did with the other races.  'Opaque and philosophical' is basically the extent of my knowledge at this point.  While the philosophical angle makes sense to me (I think I made a CJ quote at one point about immortality being perfectly suited to the philosopher), the reason for the opacity is less obvious.  Why are they so unwilling to discuss their history?  If they don't like telling their own stories, whose stories do the Urluq storytellers (whom you mentioned) tell?

Overall, there is a real sadness to these folks, but I have very little grasp on how they fit in with everyone else in an urban environment and what their relationships with the other races are.  More information on that would be nice.

[Superfluous Crow]

I'm glad you like them LC! Your opinion is really worth something to me considering your other work.

And yes, each race has a lot of idiosyncracies and quirks (which can also be seen from the D20 write-up which is a bit crammed), but I'm glad it all works out for the better.

Melek evolve constantly, so not scavenging will usually mean that their body will evolve something new within them. So they won't rot away entirely and can heal naturally as well. But the constant change puts a certain pressure on their bodies: They are generally the shortest lived race, but they mature quickly.

The various plagues were mostly meant to be anti-Moshrayah propaganda, in much the same way witches were accused of pretty much everything that went bad once upon a time. Not to say they haven't done bad stuff. Certain moshrayah pleasure-cults might have gone to any of a number of nasty extremes for new experiences... But the extremists are always a minority of course.

An Urluq could have a considerable period of near-wakefulness. A few years, usually, sometimes a decade. They still sleep often, but it isn't impossible to wake them from their normal sleep unlike the Great Sleep. So you could probably get some play in with an Urluq PC if you deal with the narcolepsy and 10 hour sleeps. Their biggest limiter is actually their size; many structures are not really designed for their bulk.    

While the Moshrayah are generally hedonistic, they are independent creatures and are capable of developing in many different directions. Also, they are not necessarily immortals as the Swarm Gods and the Urluq. They are not all brain-dead addicts. Melek on the other hand are almost universally bedeviled by insecurities and paranoia. They are nervous predators who seek to understand something beyond their nature and become something they aren't. So Melek and Moshrayah are a bit off-and-on on the whole slow-burning mental defect, but they are certainly prone to specific psychological vices.

And let's not forget humans. We aren't exactly always rational and benevolent. We might not be long-lived but that just means we are in a rush to make something of ourselves.    

EDIT: Ah, Poly, your answer was on page 2, so I missed it first time around. I'll get around to reading it later!

[Superfluous Crow]

What the text as written doesn't really comment on is the fact that there are two factions of Melek: the old traditional Melek and the modern Melek. Naturally, they are motley creatures and the tribal ones are still odd amalgams of flesh and bone. This is how they are born. But the modern ones adapt themselves to society by molding their bodies into something human. Finding human pieces is hardly impossible with graveyards and battlefields littering the world and some alchemists even grow artificial body parts. Also they have an advantage akin to Lamarckianism: Ordinarily creatures only evolve when they send their progeny into the world with a slight mutation and mixed genes. But the rotting and regrowing form of the Melek ensures that they are in a state of constant evolution. Also, whatever changes they develop in their body is transferred to their children even if they developed that trait after birth. So modern Melek are converging towards humanity, the question is whether they'll ever reach it. The modern humans only really have to harvest when their natural evolution breaks down some part of the illusion they are trying to uphold (some skin sloughing off or an extra finger growing from their hand suddenly). Mind you, some mutations can also be treated by more invasive procedures.

Not all the Moshrayah live amongst the humans, but the young ones have a predilection for exploring human society and vice. The ghettos are not all of their kin, only a fraction; many still live in their traditional enclaves. And persecution have influenced many social interactions in our world as world, but sooner or later a multiculturalism develops where both cultures can live side by side.  

I actually think I did delve into the origins of the swarm gods quite a bit... The theory of abiogenesis is probably as close to the truth as you'll get. They simply come into existence by an arcane chain of events, emerging from the mould.

The name of the god is probably a final vestige of what could be considered their language and as such it is meant to convey something alien and insectile (you know how insectile names are often written). I can't really change that, but it being a remembered name I'm sure there can be any of a number of different spellings. I imagine it is pronounced as Tje-Kry-Zeb. I can delve into the cult of the Unforgotten, but probably not in the racial description.
   
I actually had an extensive discussion with my friend about the racial conscience. I argued much the same point as you about the conscience while he thought it should be an insurmountable compulsion. So I actually agree with you there, and as written the swarm gods are capable of lying they just don't do it. Imagine them as having undergone extensive brainwashing or indoctrination with the moral guidelines of Tchekhryszebh.
About the revulsion, people don't like them (they are made of vermin after all) but in many ways they are feared less than Melek and Moshrayah as there is no organized swarm god culture to gather against. They are simply strange lone creatures. Of course, my world is a bit less discriminatory when it comes to physical differences than the real world was, as there are just so many that they are more adjusted to difference than they are to similarity.

Urluqs tell tales of dreams and stories they have collected while wandering. They will talk about their traditions if you ask, but few do, and the rules of conduct are somewhat odd and numerous so only a man trained extensively in them would be able to be perfectly tactful in their presence. About their history, it is by now mixed with dream for most. They were never empire builders or even settlers. They only find each other on occasion, and copulate even more rarely. A rare few wander in groups. Parents with cubs carry them until they are ready to travel alone, teaching them the traditions. There simply isn't a lot of history to be told unless you venture into the sea or the cold wastes of the north where I imagine a few live a bit more ordered existence. But most of the wanders left centuries or millenia ago.

But thanks for the critical input; always good to hear where you should concentrate your efforts. The above was a bit hastily written, but I hope it is understandable. I will look a bit more at it next week and see if I can make some changes and make everything a bit clearer.

[Llum]

Melek

Why are the Melek such good dentists? Do they only deal with humans and Moshrayah since it doesn't seem like the Swarm Gods and Urluq have teeth? Do they age normally with their ability to seemingly regenerate their flesh? Is there a reason that they cannot adapt to civilized city life?

Moshrayah

The first thing that stuck out to me was them having dark brown skin while living entirely (or almost entirely) without sunlight. Is this more a stylistic thing or is there another reason? Moshrayah art is said to be valued about everywhere, does this lead for some Moshrayah to move above ground? How industrious of a race are they outside of the arts?

Swarm Gods

Is it only insects that the Swarm Gods use to form their hive-bodies? Or they gather other kinds of vermin like rats, snakes, frogs, toads and other things? Do they ever use written things to store their memories for when they forget? How fast does the memory of a Swarm God cycle? Most insects don't really have long lifespans?

[Steerpike]

While I don't want to answer for Conundrum Crow, I figured that the Melek had difficulty adapting to "civilized"/urban life because by traveling constantly they would protect themselves better - being in one place too long would eventually lead to their discovery and subsequent persecution on the part of bigoted humans who believe them to be a race of grave-robbers and ghouls.

I really like the Melek... I'm a bit jealous I don't have something like them in CE, though I guess shades are somewhat close.

[Superfluous Crow]

@Llum:
Well, it's partly the persecution and bigotry that keeps the Melek from truly adapting but is also the fact that they are simply not cut out for it; they are creatures of nature, not culture; predators and survivors rather than craftsmen and sages. That is not to say they can't; they are just not really cut out for it.

Some of them are good dentists, but it's hardly all of them. Many of them are peddlers, entertainers, hunters, mercenaries etc. The swarms and the urluq, truthfully enough, don't have teeth, but that doesn't keep Melek from interacting with them. The dentistry paragraph was mostly just put there to be a small anecdote; monstrous traveling dentists who want to steal your teeth.
Melek age quickly although the age doesn't show as readily; elderly melek can easily still be strong and independent.

The description of the moshrayah skin was meant to convey a sort of leathery hide, but I can see how the mentioning of skin might could be taken more literally. I might go back and describe it as leathery instead. I'm pretty sure I did mention their ghettos below human cities; those are meant to be just below street level and thus easily accessible. They might also have some windowless buildings here and there (or even just common houses).
They are generally accomplished craftsmen and make many different things. They are not as industrious as humans though, and put more time into their work (with a corresponding loss in produced quantity).    

One of the last paragraphs mention them being very happy with books and writing in general. Writing and reading is a common way for the old and knowledgable swarm gods to keep their forgetfulness at bay. I was thinking of letting them use other pests and vermin, but both for thematic and aesthetic reasons I will limit it to insects, worms, and arachnids. The others are a bit too big and make for too random creatures (they would basically just be piles of animals then).
What do you mean cycle? Memories lost are lost. But they are fast learners. They can probably relearn a language and basic skills over a month or two.
The insects of the gods are somewhat changed physiologically by becoming part of the hive and live for longer.

And I'm glad you like the Melek steerpike! What part is it that you like more specifically?  

[Llum]

By cycle I meant take a Swarm GOd at time A. How long until that Swarm God forgets every single thing (except the faith) that he knew at time A. Ignoring him relearning anything he knew.

[Superfluous Crow]

Hmm, good question. Maybe a few decades without action, a generation with small precautions like reading and relearning on occasion. Longer for the more learned swarmkin who take great care to keep their minds.  

[Superfluous Crow]

There were some misunderstandings about the Melek last time, so I thought I would try to make it a bit clearer with a new write-up which has more focus on the schism between the modern and old ways as well as their involuntary changing. I'll replace the old ones if you like this one.

Melek
While most living things are born and die only once, melek do so continously . Their bodies are wracked by both evolution and devolution as their body withers and grows back in a neverending cycle. Only when it grows back, it never comes back the same. No two look alike, and yet they are all most certainly melek somewhere deep below the borrowed skin.  

They were hunters once; even if they looked like the stitched creations of a capricious god they were very much just creatures of nature. To them survival was an ideal and the only constant in their lives. Their tribes eked out an existence in the wilds, and when the seasons or the weather changed they changed with it. Adaptation became their way of life, and it served them well. Right up until the humans settled.

Competing with a human hunter was easy, but competing with entire cities wasn't. Woods became pastures, the wild became domesticated, and nature became culture. This was a new world the Melek weren't prepared for; a world their bodies couldn't adapt to. They were predators at heart and their skills were hunting, fighting, eating, and fucking; not building, reading, talking, and praying.

But the tribes grew weaker and most chose to abandon the old ways, although in truth they just did what they always had done; adapted. They stole the forms of mankind, attempted to learn their ways, and tried to live amongst them. They became the Freemen. They would maim themselves and steal whatever parts they needed until they looked human, and they would pass the traits on to their children like they always had. Slowly but surely they would become human, even though many things remain to ruin the disguise.

While the body is in a state of continous, yet slow, change the melek has other more macabre methods of adaptation in their arsenal. They can adopt the biology of foreign organisms; adopt their flesh and make it their own. Organs, limbs, skin; all of these can be replaced with harvests from the recently dead. This is what allowed the melek to become near-human in the first place. This has had the unfortunate side-effect of giving them a not quite undeserved reputation for graverobbing and desecration.  
 
They are still pack creatures, and the Freemen live in socially tight-knit Families within the cities even if the individual members live apart. Some of the families choose to live closer to each other, and these families often live more nomadic lives closer to the old ways where they travel in caravans between the larger cities of the world. All freemen take solace in their own kin as the humans who discover their true nature generally mistrust them. Humans call them changelings and many believe the wild stories about how they watch us from within so that they can at one time take the humans' place.    

A few desperate melek still cling to the old ways, but the freemen have largely laid their old history behind them if not their nature. Many work jobs as humans, although there is a tendency to work the less popular jobs such as undertaker and even dentist. Melek are accustomed to living on the fringes and they dislike the spotlight. Also, the aforementioned jobs give them easy access to some of the more desirable human parts and have led to some disturbing stories about melek masquerading as either of those two profession.  

[Ghostman]

I find the new write-up to be an improvement. It paints a much clearer picture

[Superfluous Crow]

You still don't seem overly enthusiastic. Not that I expect you to be (this is not exactly the cure for cancer), but I would like to know what you think would improve this. Unless it is, of course, just a matter of taste :)