Quotes!!

[SDragon]

"I swear on my mother's grave."
"Does she even have a grave?"
"She does. I put her in there myself. And when I saw her trying to crawl out, I put her back in again."

--Coraline and the Other Mother

[Tangential]

Love is like racing through the frozen tundra on a snowmobile, which flips over trapping you underneath.  At night, the ice weasels come.

-Some writer, I forget his name.

Matt Groening

[khyron1144]

Some new ones from my quotation dictionary:

[spoiler]G
God
How can I believe in God when just last week I go my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
-Woody Allen

If god exists, his motives are certainly unfathomable.
-Avatar, God's Debris by Scott Adams

What sort of arrogance assumes God is like people?
-Avatar, God's Debris by Scott Adams

If there is a supreme being, he's crazy.
-Marlene Dietrich

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.
-Arabian Proverb

Why attack God?  He may be as miserable as we are.
-Erik Satie

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of the other players^*, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.
^* ie. everybody.
-Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens


Gratitude
I'd thank you if I weren't so evil!
-Charles a.k.a. Brainchild, The Tick: 'The Tick vs. Brainchild'


W
Witchcraft, Witches, Witching, etc
A witch never has matching crockery.
-Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

You were there, you had the hat, you did the job.  That was a basic rule of witchery:  It's up to you.
-Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

Young women should not go alone on dark nights, even in Oxfordshire.  But any prowling maniac would have had more than his work cut out if he had accosted Anathema Device.  She was a witch, after all.  And precisley because she was a witch, and therefore sensible, she put little faith in protective amulets ands spells; she saved it all for a foot-long bread knife which she kept in her belt.
-Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens

Words
When ideas fail, words come in handy.
-Goethe

I think we've outgrown the word gripe.  When everyone has automatic weapons, a word like gripe is sort of irrelevant.  
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings

There should be some things we don't name, just so we can sit around all day and wonder what they are.
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings

Work
Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart give yourself to it.
-Buddha

Working-class people 'look for work.'  Middle-class people 'try to get a job.'  Upper-middle-class people 'seek employment.'
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings

We're all amateurs; it's just that some of us are more professional about it than others.
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings

And it all meant this:  that there are hardly an excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot be easily duplicated by a normal, kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do.
-Terry Pratchett, Small Gods


The World
The world is a madhouse, so it's only right that it is patrolled by armed idiots.
-Brendan Behan

The world is our school for spiritual discovery.
-Paul Brunton

We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
-Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle

You have the vanity to believe you live in two worlds, but that is only your vanity.  There is but one single world for us.  We are men, and must follow the world of men contentedly.
-Don Juan, The Teachings of Don Juan:  A Yaqui Way of Knowledge by Carlos Castenada


[/spoiler]

[Tangential]

"The xixecal are descended from ninja gods of the ice and cold, and thus have an extremely high dexterity for their size. The xixecal in the picture is actually preparing to perform a flip kick, which is why its foot is out in front of the other."

[Poseptune]

one of my favorites:

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something. --- Robert Heinlein

[Cantus]

"There's definitely a very slim chance we might survive." - Egon Spengler, Ghostbusters

"Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own." - Aesop

Milo: I know, I know. Sometimes I get a little carried away. But, hey, you know, that's what this is all about, right? I mean, discovery, teamwork, adventure. Unless, maybe, you're just in it for the money.
Audrey: Money.
Wilhelmina: Money.
Dr. Sweet: Money.
Mole: Money.
Vinny: I'm gonna have to say... money.
Milo: Well, I guess I set myself up for that one.

Milo: Will you look at the size of this? It's gotta be half a mile, at least. It-It must have taken hundred... No, thousands of years to carve this thing.
[Vinny blows it up, and it falls down over a chasm]
Vinny: Hey, look, I made a bridge. It only took me like, what? Ten seconds? Eleven, tops.

Cookie: I got your four basic food groups! Beans, bacon, whisky and lard.

Princess Kida: You are a scholar, are you not? Judging from your diminished physique and large forehead, you are suited for nothing else!

Vinny: We've done a lot of things we're not proud of. Robbing graves, plundering tombs, double parking. But, nobody got hurt. Well, maybe somebody got hurt, but nobody we knew.

Commander Rourke: "Mercenary"? I prefer the term "adventure capitalist".

Milo: Excuse me, you dropped your dy... dy... dynamite!
[Nervous laugh]
Milo: What else have you, uh, got in there?
Vinny: Oh, er... gunpowder, nitroglycerin, notepads, fuses, wicks, glue, and... paper clips, big ones. You know, just, uh, office supplies.

Dr. Sweet: Milo Thatch... You're my three o'clock.
[Pulls out a huge saw]
Milo: Oh boy!
Dr. Sweet: Nice, uh? The catalog says this little baby can saw through a femur in twenty-eight seconds. I'm betting I can cut that time in half.

[khyron1144]

Milo: I know, I know. Sometimes I get a little carried away. But, hey, you know, that's what this is all about, right? I mean, discovery, teamwork, adventure. Unless, maybe, you're just in it for the money.
Audrey: Money.
Wilhelmina: Money.
Dr. Sweet: Money.
Mole: Money.
Vinny: I'm gonna have to say... money.
Milo: Well, I guess I set myself up for that one.

Milo: Will you look at the size of this? It's gotta be half a mile, at least. It-It must have taken hundred... No, thousands of years to carve this thing.
[Vinny blows it up, and it falls down over a chasm]
Vinny: Hey, look, I made a bridge. It only took me like, what? Ten seconds? Eleven, tops.

Cookie: I got your four basic food groups! Beans, bacon, whisky and lard.

Princess Kida: You are a scholar, are you not? Judging from your diminished physique and large forehead, you are suited for nothing else!

Vinny: We've done a lot of things we're not proud of. Robbing graves, plundering tombs, double parking. But, nobody got hurt. Well, maybe somebody got hurt, but nobody we knew.

Commander Rourke: "Mercenary"? I prefer the term "adventure capitalist".

Milo: Excuse me, you dropped your dy... dy... dynamite!
[Nervous laugh]
Milo: What else have you, uh, got in there?
Vinny: Oh, er... gunpowder, nitroglycerin, notepads, fuses, wicks, glue, and... paper clips, big ones. You know, just, uh, office supplies.

Dr. Sweet: Milo Thatch... You're my three o'clock.
[Pulls out a huge saw]
Milo: Oh boy!
Dr. Sweet: Nice, uh? The catalog says this little baby can saw through a femur in twenty-eight seconds. I'm betting I can cut that time in half.

What are these quotes from? Some of them feel kind of familair, but I can't pinpoint where I heard/ read/ viewed them.

[Stargate525]

ATLANTIS!

I love that movie!

Sweet: Now stick out you tongue and say ahh. So where you from?
Milo: No really I... [depresser stuck into mouth] aghuhhuhgah.
Sweet: I have family up that way, beautiful country? [removes tounge depressor, sticks in thermometer] You do any fishing?
Milo: mmmMmmM MmmmhmmmM.
Sweet: Me, I hate fishing. I hate fish. Hate the taste, hate the smell, hate all them tiny little bones. [pulls out two 500ml containers] I gonna need you to fill these up.
Milo: [Spits out thermometer] with WHAT?

Wilhelmina: To whoever took the L form the motorpool sign, haha we are all very amused.

Wilhelmina: Tongihts supper will be baked beans, musical program to follow... who wrote this...

Rourke: Vinny, could we blast our way through this?
Vinny: Maybe if I had fifty of these [dynamite sticks], thing is we only got about... three. YOu know, plus five of my own... couplea cherry bombs, and a road flare.

Helga: Cartography, linguistics, plumbing, hard to believe he's still single.

Vinny, looking at leviathan drawing: I would have.. white wine with that I think.

[MittenNinja]

"I'd rather have the money than my life!"

[Cantus]

"Vecna is working on other potential applications for the robot technology" ...  :demon:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6729745.stm