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Life Exposition of Crit

Started by Numinous, March 18, 2006, 04:25:22 PM

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Numinous

March 18, 2006, 04:25:22 PM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by beejazz
Alright, this is crit.  I now will expose to you all the teen behind the d20.  I am in highschool, a sophomore actually.  I live with my mom, no siblings, father, nothing.  I live in a small college town, nice neighborhood, but the high-school population thinks D&D is either way too geeky, or way too ""evil".  I have hardly anything that I can truly call my own, mainly just my D&D books.  I have repeatedly tried to both join and start a D&D group in my area, but the College students don't respect me, and the other kids are... disagreable.  Here's the shocker now.

I have never played D&D, ever.

I had high hopes for Senkonnomei's PbP, but I realise that I am far too inexperienced to handle playing at WoTC.  I would greatly apprecitae being able to play in any game started here, if people don't mind my newb-ness.

I have a tendency, with my low self-esteem to back out of projects when they appear too imposing.  This is why I shut down my CS website and why I backed out of the PbP game previously mentioned.  I   love the internet because it gives me a measure of anonymity :bag:  and the ability to run away by simply signing off.

I have a talent for crashing computers.  I am the exact opposite of technologically savvy.  All I have to do is look at a computer and it will crash.  My home computer is prone to viruses, and it's mac-ness prevents it from using most DM-useful programs, like Dundjinni, CC2, or DM's familiar.  Even OpenRPG hates me.  I will be getting a new PC laptop on around May first, which will be all mine.  Thus, I will finally be able to save files to my hard-drive.  The reason my CS looks so cluttered and out-dated is beacuse I have it stored nowhere else, all that you see is all that I have.

My heroes, and in a sort of pathetic way, my only friends are Kalos, Raelifin, CYMRO, and ElDo.  don't get me wrong, everyone on these boards is awesome, and i feel that this is the only place I feel like I belong.  My dream was to be like Rich Burlew, one day sign on and stand oer everyone, but that appears not to be in the cards.

I hope everyone here will accept my imperfections now, and I'll be quite happy to offer my opinion if anyone would value it.  Also, if anyone else feel slike giving a short blurb about why they're life stinks, put it up.
Previously: Natural 20, Critical Threat, Rose of Montague
- Currently working on: The Smoking Hills - A bottom-up, seat-of-my-pants, fairy tale adventure!

Elven Doritos

#1
March 18, 2006, 04:40:12 PM
One of the key philosophies I live by I like to call "perpetual contention." The idea behind is that no matter how bad your life is, no matter how bad you have it, try your best to be at peace with who you are and who you want to be. I'm not saying not to have goals, sure, everyone has them. Just don't be dissapointed with the negative results, and never compromise who you really are. It's the nature of society to drive people to want bigger and bolder things all the time and people get caught up in their careers and the pursuit of wealth, love, knowledge, and whatever else that they don't think about taking it easy, looking inwards, and being a bit reflective.

Another thing to remember is karma. I don't believe in karma in a religious sense, but I do believe in it in a philosophical sense. When a person does good things, sooner or later good things will return on them. Negative energy and emotion will certainly return negative results. As a point, these aren't universal truths set in stone. They're just general guidelines.

Now, to directly address you, life can be hard. We've all had some pretty bad times, but it's worth it to ride those out and try to find some silver lining in the cloud. Look for what's positive about your life and situation and focus on that, and you'll be a happier person overall.

-Elven Doritos
Hope that helps?

EDIT: I failed to mention that I use the word "contention" ironically as both an allusion to being content as well as disagreeing with the popular conceptualization of the pursuit of wealth as the most desirable state of being.
Oh, how we danced and we swallowed the night
For it was all ripe for dreaming
Oh, how we danced away all of the lights
We've always been out of our minds
-Tom Waits, Rain Dogs

Raelifin

#2
March 18, 2006, 04:42:12 PM
Wow, so sad. Never?  :itsok:

If I was reluctant about starting another PbP game, it was banished by this thread. If I had a car, I'd drive over there with my group just for you... Er... if you lived in the Eugene Oregon area...   ^_^

Well, if it makes you feel any better (which I bet it won't), I have various levels of depression and some serious mental issues from early childhood.  :yernuts:

Numinous

#3
March 18, 2006, 04:44:50 PM
Thanks guys, the one (positive) thing I know is that I really do fit in here, if anywhere.  And Raelifin, i'm on the east coast, so I don't think you're gonna want to drive out here.
Previously: Natural 20, Critical Threat, Rose of Montague
- Currently working on: The Smoking Hills - A bottom-up, seat-of-my-pants, fairy tale adventure!

Soup Nazi

#4
March 18, 2006, 04:45:19 PM
QuoteI have never played D&D, ever.
Tragic.

I wish I knew what kind of response you wanted here, but I'm not feeling you. If you're hunting for people to play with, have you tried local shops? When I was 15 (I had already been playing for 5 years) I started gaming with some guys who were mostly in their early 30s...they were real old school gamers (they had chainmail!), and much easier to get along with than college kids would have been for me at that age. I find it's much harder at 28, to get my game on, than it was when I was a kid. People are just much busier now, and have more important things to devote their time to, like family and work.

I wish you luck.

-Nasty-
The spoon is mightier than the sword

Soup Nazi

#5
March 18, 2006, 04:48:09 PM
QuoteThanks guys, the one (positive) thing I know is that I really do fit in here, if anywhere. And Raelifin, i'm on the east coast, so I don't think you're gonna want to drive out here.
Where abouts on the east coast? I live in MA, but I'll soon be moving to Atlantic City.

QuoteAlso, if anyone else feel slike giving a short blurb about why they're life stinks, put it up.
I've got it pretty bad right now, but that's not something I feel like dwelling on.
The spoon is mightier than the sword

Ninja D!

#6
March 18, 2006, 05:05:15 PM
Honestly, I have been through a lot of the same things as you.  I find enjoyment in just creating D&D things, as you seem to.  Maybe you just want to stick with that until your situation changes.  Otherwise, I suggest playing on  RolePlayOnLine.

Senkennomei

#7
March 18, 2006, 09:41:14 PM
Hey man, cheer up. I never played D&D until Raelifin's online campaign around 2 months ago. You've just gotta read the books a couple of times, practice making some characters in RL (Even if you never play them), and take a look at other people's submissions to get some ideas of how things work. You'll get the hang of it.

Now if I could just get a handle on Math I think I'll be all set!

What state do you live in?
"If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone." - Michael Corleone
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Xathan

#8
March 20, 2006, 05:27:10 AM
Wow. Sounds a lot like where I was sophomore year. Trust me on this - it gets better. You will find a game group - if nothing else, I'll be starting up a PbP game here once my world is built enough to play in, to play test stuff, and I'd be honored if you would play in it. Till then, hop on over to Rich's site and joins one of the PbP games over there. I was buying DnD books for 2 and a half years before I finally got the chance to start playing, and now I play on a pretty regular basis.

Oh, and if you're looking for a way to play IRL, put a note at your local game store. Someone will give you call.

I've been where you are, man, and things will get better. If nothing else, once you get to College you are bound to find a gaming group and other like-minded people. Best of luck to you, and we're here, happy to chat with you and do what we can through these screens.

(BTW, for a while my best and only friends were online too. There isn't anything wrong with that, if you ask me - they are some of the greatest people I have ever, and will ever know.)
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[/spoiler]

Wix of Bel-Air

#9
March 20, 2006, 02:47:40 PM
Omg, I've been DMing and playing since I was 12. I'm so sorry crit.

Like Raelf, I have severe anxiety and mild depression steming from an early childhood without D&D (actually, I'm just insane).

Oh and by the way, Rich Berlew will someday pick you as an apprentice if you work hard enough. Plus, you probably have more friends then you think...
Eats brains here! Ugh!
That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die.
[spoiler=Cthulhu]"To obtain a deep, restful, and fulfilling sleep, you must first submerge yourself in your cyclopean city of hideous non-Euclidean geometries beneath the sea, and then let your body die. But don't worry! As long as you continue to emanate enough evil thought-energy to influence and control your many worshippers throughout the untold eons, they will resurrect you when the time comes. I guarantee it!" [/spoiler]
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(as T-Rex) "I think we should call it...your grave!"

(Stegosaurus) "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"

(T-Rex) "Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh...now die!"
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Stanza 11]
No! penury, inertness and grimace,
In some strange sort, were the land's portion. "See
Or shut your eyes," said Nature peevishly,
"It nothing skills: I cannot help my case:
'Tis the Last Judgment's fire must cure this place,
Calcine its clods and set my prisoners free."
[/spoiler]

beejazz

#10
April 19, 2006, 04:36:45 PM
It takes a while to get a group together. Even in a math/science charter school (okay, so my art school shared a building... close enough), my first two years were spent just dealing with lazy, wannabe DMs who "never had time" or "would get around to it", plus warding off bookmoochers. Last year still never saw any continuation of ANYTHING past the first session. I honestly never had a group or a campaign until a couple of months ago, when I was literally AMBUSHED into DMing. then I got grounded.

Hopefully you'll have better luck, but the moral is that people aren't just going to ask you if you play DnD. It is rather likely, in fact, that you're just gonna have to school some noobs a grade or two younger than you are in order to pull together a group, and DMing is gonna be all on you.
Beejazz's Homebrew System
 Beejazz's Homebrew Discussion

QuoteI don't believe in it anyway.
What?
England.
Just a conspiracy of cartographers, then?

Numinous

#11
April 19, 2006, 05:25:39 PM
Dang, thread necromancy...

Anyway, I plan to start playing in some new PbP's soon, and I'm getting books for my b-day.

Plus, I've decided to run a two player campaign in real life, so that I can actually run with people i don't hate.

Yay, my life is less sucky now!  I'm making progress...
Previously: Natural 20, Critical Threat, Rose of Montague
- Currently working on: The Smoking Hills - A bottom-up, seat-of-my-pants, fairy tale adventure!

beejazz

#12
April 19, 2006, 05:31:31 PM
good! *thumbsup*
Beejazz's Homebrew System
 Beejazz's Homebrew Discussion

QuoteI don't believe in it anyway.
What?
England.
Just a conspiracy of cartographers, then?
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