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Vampires? Nope!

Started by Hibou, November 14, 2006, 12:32:14 AM

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Hibou

November 14, 2006, 12:32:14 AM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by sdragon1984
http://www.livescience.com/othernews/061025_vampire_debunk.html

The truth is revealed...

TEh OmG!

Now, next time you see someone running away from something, there's a pretty good chance that it's  not a vampire.
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brainface

#1
November 14, 2006, 12:53:47 AM
At least we can still believe in Santa Claus!
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Captain Obvious

#2
November 14, 2006, 01:32:53 AM
Quote from: brainfaceAt least we can still believe in Santa Claus!
Tecnically no, as he is part vampire and part fairy tale. This creates 2 parts fictional wich easily overpowers the real. I'm sorry to have to break it to you.
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Velox

#3
November 14, 2006, 04:20:43 AM
That guy's an idiot. You have to be embraced to be a vampire, duh! Anyone can just get bitten. Amature.

Of course, I never liked a monster that had to hide from it's food... freakin throat-leech cadavers.

Wrexham3

#4
November 14, 2006, 04:59:02 AM
Quote from: WitchHunthttp://www.livescience.com/othernews/061025_vampire_debunk.html

The truth is revealed...

TEh OmG!

Now, next time you see someone running away from something, there's a pretty good chance that it's  not a vampire.

There ARE vampires, vampires like Mr. Costas who are sucking all of the wonder out of the Universe.  I suppose its mathematically impossible for muppets to have a treasure island too.

 

SilvercatMoonpaw

#5
November 14, 2006, 08:03:23 AM
I don't consider biting to be the ultimate mathematical impossibility of vampires, but blood-to-bodyweight ratio.  Go read up on how much blood a vampire bat has to consume each night.  Increase that to human size and a vampire would have to drink entire populations just to survive.  Of course, if vampires are undead the amount of blood they need is probably not that high, it's more of a compulsion or ritual thing.  So they wouldn't even have to drain one human per time period.

One order of wonder right here!
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SDragon

#6
November 14, 2006, 12:26:38 PM
Quote from: SilvercatMoonpawI don't consider biting to be the ultimate mathematical impossibility of vampires, but blood-to-bodyweight ratio.  Go read up on how much blood a vampire bat has to consume each night.  Increase that to human size and a vampire would have to drink entire populations just to survive.  Of course, if vampires are undead the amount of blood they need is probably not that high, it's more of a compulsion or ritual thing.  So they wouldn't even have to drain one human per time period.

One order of wonder right here!

if it's a compulsion thing (as all modern vampire literatture says), then technically, they don't have to drain any humans of blood. theoretically, they could go countless centuries without ever tasting a drop.


in practice, i'm sure the compulsion would get too unbearable before too long (say, a year or two, tops), but if any given vampire has a strong enough will to resist the urge of bloodlust, then that whole "one human a month" thing just falls flat.

that and, as mentioned earlier, being bitten isn't enough; you must be Embraced. this slows the rate of the growing vampire population needed for this guy's theory.
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Hibou

#7
November 14, 2006, 12:54:15 PM
Well, in D&D vampires and vampire spawn are created just by being drained of their Constitution or by the vampire's neg.level slams. This is bound to happen a few times when a vampire has limited access, and as more vampires rise this keeps happening. Eventually, the population is going to be severely hampered by the sheer number, as more and more draining will take place.
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Epic Meepo

#8
November 14, 2006, 02:39:11 PM
While I don't believe in vampires, I must say that the linked article is about the worst debunking attempt I've ever seen. By that article's logic, if a wolf must eat a deer once a month in order to survive, since wolves have litters whereas deer have single offspring, then deer would be extinct becuase wolves are born faster than the deer they feed upon. Of course, the real fact of the matter is that wolves eventually die, keeping their population in equilibrium. If even half of the folklore about villagers exhuming and staking bodies is true, then the same would be true of vampires. Granted, vampires don't die of old age, but back in the day, there was no shortage of superstitious peasants willing to dig stuff up and mutiliate it.
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#9
November 14, 2006, 03:01:30 PM
not to mention it excludes the possibility of vampiric infighting, accidental sun exposure, and even assumes that every single person fed upon becomes a vampire, when very few modern interpretation of vampires follow that logic.
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brainface

#10
November 14, 2006, 03:42:12 PM
The most hilarious thing about the article, to me, was that mr. college professor felt he needed to write a book for me to realize vampires didn't exist. Thankyou, mr. college professor.

Also, the quote:
QuoteUniversity of Central Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou's work debunks pseudoscientific ideas, such as vampires and zombies, in an attempt to enhance public literacy. Not only does the public believe in such topics, but the percentages are at dangerously high level, Efthimiou told LiveScience.
indeed[/i].
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CYMRO

#11
November 14, 2006, 03:57:57 PM
Quotein practice, i'm sure the compulsion would get too unbearable before too long (say, a year or two, tops), but if any given vampire has a strong enough will to resist the urge of bloodlust, then that whole "one human a month" thing just falls flat.

That is why they have the Black Ribbon Society, to help each other swear off the sticky stuff.


Velox

#12
November 14, 2006, 08:33:21 PM
Quote from: Wrexham3I suppose its mathematically impossible for muppets to have a treasure island too.

LMFAO! YES!

Endless_Helix

#13
November 14, 2006, 08:50:21 PM
First of all the article doesn't even debunk the existance of vampires. Because, A that professor is on crack. B, you have to be embraced to become a vampire, embracing a human a month would probably kill the vampire. C. While Vampires are immortal, they can be destroyed, and consequently do occasionally get shuffled from the deck. D. Vampires are magical. Attempting to explain precisely how they work with math is ridiculous... particularly with that kind of math.

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#14
November 14, 2006, 10:52:48 PM
I like a good debunking.  That was not a good debunking.  That was debunking lite.  That was setting up an idea of vampirism suitable for a child of six, and making that the target.  Everyone who thinks at length about vampires - even just as an idle exercise - comes to that conclusion, although I'll grant you they don't usually do any involved math.  Granted it's just an article, not the book itself, but still.  Petit debunking is petty thinking.  We can do better.

I have seen a number of interpretations of vampirism here.  If we are to debunk the idea of vampirism, we must establish which theory we shall employ.  (For our purpose, we shall not examine those people who are merely psychologically impelled to behave like vampires.  We're talking about the supernatural version.)

That is, we might be.  I am hereby offering a challenge to the CBG.  One of the basic principles of science is disprovability; I propose we come up with a model of supernatural vampirism that might exist in the real world, and then disprove it.

Any takers?
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