More Broken Verse [sic]

[Superfluous Crow]

So, I'm trying to build up enough momentum to make an actual, full-fledged, sparkling new Broken Verge setting thread. *gasp*
To that end, I have been stuck forever writing that grandest of all setting elements: the introduction.
Now, I would have asked what people wanted in that, but I already (sort of) know the answers: "don't start with the creation story", "be careful not to make it a history lesson", "show what makes your setting special", etc.
I have fairly high standards for my writing (standards I'm entirely incapable of meeting), but I finally decided to say screw it and just wrote something. That something is found below.
This will be my "stuff that might go in the setting thread" thread. I have one already I think, but I wanted to start from a clean slate. Also, I think it's stuck somewhere in the archive.
Anyway, here goes, give me your preliminary thoughts. I think I just need to spar for a bit instead of working on it all by my lonesome.

The World
Found at a crossroad of cultures, faiths and empires, Besmakia is a land of contradictions if anything. Heavy with history and tradition it is nevertheless the setting for an age of upheaval and change, set in motion by the waningof far-away powers and a year of pestilence not yet forgotten.

Too far away to be ruled, yet too close to be left alone, Besmakia has been a center of exchange since forever surviving by virtue of its neighbours' mutual rivalry more than anything else. To most foreigners Besmakia remains a place of mystery, rarely mentioned nor referenced aside from in the tales of drunk sailors. To most, it is a frontier harboring hidden wonders and whispered promises of a better life.

And more than a few have followed these promises to the rugged shores over the years. The cities are populated by immigrants, pilgrims and exiles, with the true natives, the Marrowmen, now estranged from their own birthplace. Yet there is something tying all these people together, a pride in their new-found home, harsh as it might be.

Geography
Besmakia is a huge landmass situated at the southern end of a vast continent sometimes called Merrinter. The border separating north and south is difficult to place, but there is a palpable change; something both tangible and intangible separates one cardinal direction from the other; frontier from civilization.

Most agree, though, that the Black Garden Pass in the Verdigris Mountains is the traditional gateway to the frontier region, taking would-be travellers to the fledgling mendicant-city known as Redemption and a thousand other things.

Delineation by way of the waterways is a much easier task, with the Serpent's Strait taking sailors to both the Jorinter and the Marrow seas, waters claimed entirely or partially by Besmakian nation-states. The Jorinter is home to hundreds of island communities, some lawful some not, and is held back in the south-west by Manderbolge, the frozen continent of the farthest south populated by hopeful miners, pious whalers, and cannibal outriders.   

Besmakia itself has many faces, most of them both terrifying and beautiful. A landscape of extremes, with everything from soaring mountains to low-lying swamps and gnarled ur-forests.. Civilization is everywhere and yet nowhere, with cities far apart and scattered along the coast and the rivers. 

People
Besmakia has a history older than most think, but most was forgotten when the Cold Years forced the then-natives from their ancestral home. The marrowmen are suspected to be the ones who stayed behind or maybe they came in the wake of their exodus. Either way, the poet-savages are the closest Besmakia comes to true natives.

Yet the Lebothians - the Old Blood, the First Kings - claim to have as strong a tie to the land, tracing their families back to the first exodus or at the very least the first resettlements. More important still, they enforce this claim more strongly, continuing to wield considerable, if dwindling, power after more than a thousand years. All later arrivals were christened the New Bloods, to mark them as inferior even if they make up a majority in most parts of modern-day Besmakia.

Yet despite their varied origins, a distinct Besmakian culture has evolved over the years, a mixture of new thoughts and ancient traditions. Despite being somewhat of a backwater, Besmakians both new and old are proud of their heritage. 

The Ilk
Humans are by far the most populous in most parts of the world, but they are but one of the Ilk. The Yghreb are native to cold Manderbolge and several nomadic tribes wander the Besmakian wilds. Yet their way of life is slowly dying and they are trying to assimilate themselves into human society, in what appears almost like a cultural purge, leaving their heritage behind in favor of human guises and manners.
The blind Melhune first came to Besmakia as circus spectacles and were considered little more than monsters or animals for a long while. Now, they live in tunnel-ghettoes below the streets of cities, maintaining disreputable markets and peddling sculpture and music.
The Urmannanganal and the huskmen are rare, but both revered in  Besmakian culture. One is an auspicious omen and fabled storyteller while the other is deeply integrated into the politics and superstitions of Besmakia.

[O Senhor Leetz]

So happy to see BV return! As an introduction, it may be a little long, but the only queisitons/qualms I havee deal with the geograhpy, as I found it somewhat confusing (that being said, I've just woken up and am still waiting for my coffee...).

Oh, also, there doesn't seem to be much, if any, mention of magic in the introduction. Is the new BV a super-low magic setting or is that just something in the works. I'll try to keep up the comments, and therefore some of the momentum, the best I can!

[Xathan]

I'm glad to see BV return as well! I don't have much to add that Leetz already didn't say, but I do want to add I'd love to see more of the Ilk, because they all sound awesome.

[Superfluous Crow]

(Damn, I made a fairly long and articulate reply a few days ago on the subject of magic, but I must have forgotten to press "Post")

Broken Verge isn't low-magic no, but it has more strangeness than capital-M Magic. I'm trying to take the supernatural in a different direction. In BV there is no omni-present magical source and magic is inherently fickle, specific in nature, and limited in power and extent. There will be different branches of "magic", only vaguely connected under that umbrella term by the ideas that they are "more than natural".

Magic in Broken Verge doesn't make difficult things easier as much as it makes impossible things possible. As such its influence on the development of technology and society has hardly been noticeable. It has evolved in parallel, complementing science rather than dominating it. While a few types of preternatural mechanics and alchemy are known, magic is further crippled by the fact that it can't be mass-produced and shared; magic items are either non-existent or unique.

The central arcane tradition will be the reifiers, the Grammarian mages, who wield abstract notions as weapons and tools, but there will also be Muses, who can bring walls down with their voices, not-monks who excise themselves from reality, unlikely Happenmen and good old-fashioned Witchcraft.  

[Superfluous Crow]

Broken Verge focuses on the south-eastern corner of the known world. We are talking far south, mind you, so the region is generally fairly cold (although the northern portions of my mental map probably live under central european climate conditions).
East of the region lies a vast and very inhospitable ocean, populated largely by corsairs. I'm toying with the idea of a mysterious "New World" beyond the sea, though. Aside from that it is fairly impassable and stormy and mostly avoided.
The region is composed of two (halves of) continents: Merrinter and Manderbolge. The lower part of Merrinter is called Besmakia and the two continental landmasses are separated by the Serpent's Strait which leads to a watery crossroads: south lies the Jorinter Sea which flows into the big eastern ocean in, you guessed it, the east and north lies the more sheltered partially-inland Marrow Sea which is bordered entirely by Besmakia - the mainland in the north and an isthmus-connected peninsula in the south.

So, that's basically a verbal description of the map I'm currently envisaging (and I pray to the turtles that it's the last). Of course, it would be much easier to explain if I just had a map to show you guys, but it will be a while before my cartography skills catch up with my thoughts.   

[O Senhor Leetz]

(Damn, I made a fairly long and articulate reply a few days ago on the subject of magic, but I must have forgotten to press "Post")

Broken Verge isn't low-magic no, but it has more strangeness than capital-M Magic. I'm trying to take the supernatural in a different direction. In BV there is no omni-present magical source and magic is inherently fickle, specific in nature, and limited in power and extent. There will be different branches of "magic", only vaguely connected under that umbrella term by the ideas that they are "more than natural".

Magic in Broken Verge doesn't make difficult things easier as much as it makes impossible things possible. As such its influence on the development of technology and society has hardly been noticeable. It has evolved in parallel, complementing science rather than dominating it. While a few types of preternatural mechanics and alchemy are known, magic is further crippled by the fact that it can't be mass-produced and shared; magic items are either non-existent or unique.

The central arcane tradition will be the reifiers, the Grammarian mages, who wield abstract notions as weapons and tools, but there will also be Muses, who can bring walls down with their voices, not-monks who excise themselves from reality, unlikely Happenmen and good old-fashioned Witchcraft.  

I like what I'm seeing. Have you looked into leylines and other kinds of magical energy grids? I think they would fit it in very good in BV.

I also like how you're avoiding the magic vs. technology cliche as well as your take on magic items. But what about the "small things" like potions, scrolls, perma-torches, shimmer-cloth waistcoats (or whatever) and stuff like that? More common or non-existant?

The Grammarian mages sound cool (but maybe another name? The Syllabic Vespers? Syllabary?) Once again, the Muses sound very cool - made me think of the tale of Jericho - but once again, I don't think that the name is quite there, I think Muse has too much , baggage. Euterpicurians? Euterpic-Chanters (both from the word "Euterpe", who was the Muse of music and song. Still baggage I know, but I think Euterpe is much less well-known than Muse is.

The non-monks sound awesome (and familiar.... :P)

Witchcraft sounds like it will fit in, or maybe lower-case "w" witchcraft could be a catch-all term for magic that is not part of the previoulsy mentioned "schools"? Witches (female) and warlocks/wizards (male) could be the catch-all name for practicers of magic that just dabble in a bunch of small, some-what insignificant, ecclectic magics - just nominal cantrips, charms, and enchantments.

What are the Happenmen? I can't say I really like the name, but then again, I don't know what they are, so it's hard to say.

[Superfluous Crow]

I don't think I'm gonna go with magical grids, as that implies a universal source, but I guess I could implement it for one of the traditions like you did with Phaen at one point. I'm not too hooked on the idea though. 

I kinda like the sound of Grammarian; it has this mystical, bookish feel to it. Yet considering that it is a real thing I should probably make the name a bit more "fantastic".

I don't know if Muse has that much baggage necessarily? Yes, most know it is from greek mythology, and it can be used as a metaphor, but what do you associate them with aside from inspiration? Dunno, you might still be right that it could benefit from a name change. Chanter is probably a bit heavy-handed as their origin lies with singing rather than chanting (hmm, or does it? something to consider on my part).
Originally I thought of them as eugenically selected and bred humans, but recently it occured to me it would make much more sense for them to be Yghreb, who are adaptive shapechangers able to masquerade as humans. Under duress and breeding strategies they would more quickly produce the perfect singer (which is essentially what the Muse is). The drawback is that it makes the origin of the Muses much less visceral and poignant and that the perfect singers are gonna be molding backstage.
   
The Non-monks/athemancers were a cooperative creation and I am fairly confident that I am taking them in a different direction ^^

Witchcraft would probably be a (loose) tradition unto itself. Voodoo meets gypsy magic with lots of curses and superstition involved. Minor traditions will probably be just that - minor traditions. There will probably be lots more than listed here, these are just the major ones/the ones I have come up with so far. The reifiers and the muses (and the witchcraft practioners to some degree) are really the only ones who can muster any significant numbers.   

There should be a small post somewhere in the archives on the happenmen. They are part monks, part agents of the Setchic King, hand-selected based on horoscopes and auspicious births. They are subjected to fairly gruelling trials throughout their childhood, survivable mostly through sheer luck. This selection process, and their mystical training, allows them to bend probabilities. They are not necessarily lucky, but they are ... unlikely. Nexuses of coincidence. 

[O Senhor Leetz]

Ok, Happenmen make much more sense, but when I look at it, I see Happymen.

Otherwise, everything looks sweet so far. Hard to say too much without seeing everything in context. What are you thinking about for the next post?

[Superfluous Crow]

Any suggestions? I was thinking of doing either a list of kingdoms or more on the Ilk, as per Xathan's suggestion.

[O Senhor Leetz]

I think something geographic would be good, especially if it involed giving some of the said magic some context.

[Superfluous Crow]

I did try to give a bit more clear description of the geography in one of the above posts (just after the one on magic), but it adds few details and does not give the magic any context I am afraid.

[O Senhor Leetz]

I did try to give a bit more clear description of the geography in one of the above posts (just after the one on magic), but it adds few details and does not give the magic any context I am afraid.

No, I meant like a specific city or nation where one of the magic groups you wrote about is prevelant, so we have some context for your good ideas for magic.

[Superfluous Crow]

A bit on the Ilk below. Nothing major, the two races featured here haven't changed much from previous incarnations. The Melhune have become a bit more urban and the biology of the Ygreb has changed a bit (and might change more).
Does anything strike you as off or just plain bad?

The Ilk
While humans are found across the known world, they are not alone. Other sapient creatures share earth, water, roofs and streets with mankind. It has come to be accepted that four other species are part of Society and collectively the species are known as the Ilk. They might not always be considered equals in a world where humans are often the majority, but their presence is undeniable and grudgingly accepted.

The Melhune look like monsters from a bedtime tale, but  their grotesque looks belie  a  cunning intellect not unlike that of man. Nocturnal and blind, they were victims of persecution and superstition for centuries, before they were grudgingly welcomed into the human cities. Physically, they are hg They take deep pleasure in everything they can feel, hear and taste and are famous for their alienly beautiful scuptures and their haunting music. Although some make their lives above ground, most live in tunnel ghettoes below the streets, where the sun never shines. Largely unregulated, they have become havens of vice and black market dealings.  
 

The Yghreb are the most recently accepted of the Ilk. They have lived in primitive hunter clans since the dawn of their simple society, but their ways are now threatened by the progress of industry and the incursion of man. So they do what they have always done: adapt. Due to their unique anatomy, the Yghreb adapt and evolve continuously, their bodies reacting to, and learning from, what they eat, what they experience and see, even who they live with and mate with. You can't possibly describe the Yghreb because their bodies are as different as the personalities of men. Yet there is a movement amongst them, trying to adapt to the cities. And in the cities survival is not about climbing, running, tracking or killing. It's about looking an acting human. About being human. Their survival depends on their own extinction and they won't hesitate to do what they have always done: adapt.

A few things to consider

• should I impose any limitations on the Yghreb? I want to remain true to the concept, but I don't want their mutations to get out of hand either
• I am in doubt about the background of the Melhune. I could make them part of the New World in the east, but that would mean A) they can't possibly have had much of a history in the Known World B) they would have to have a nautical culture, which is fairly impossible since they are blind. Teleportation is not an option and I don't want the "underdark" to extend below a world ocean.
• Should the Melhune have their own country of origin (probably off-the-map) or does that go too much against the tone which remains fairly humanocentric? They could just be mountain-dwellers, but I'd hate for all the races to have their origin in Besmakia without a proper explanation (the setting's primary region)

These are not full write-ups, but rather part of a primer.

[O Senhor Leetz]

I think you're missing a part about the appearance of the Melhune. Besides that, looks good.

As for your considerations:

-What do you mean by limitaions on the Yghreb? I'll be honest here too, I'm really not 100% clear on the Yghreb, what makes their anatomy so unique?

-You could always just keep the history of the Melhune a big, unknwon secret that they don't share. Or they could have had wider-spread realms long ago, that left pockets of Melhune scattered across BV. Adventuring in Melhune ruins could be extremely frightening and surreal.

[Superfluous Crow]

Ah, maybe my quest for vaguely clever-sounding prose has had the side-effect of making the actual text indecipherable. Ehm, looking at it I am not sure what to do to clarify, but I can give you a more laid-back description of the Yghreb here:
The key to visualizing the Yghreb lies in the sentence "the Yghreb adapt and evolve continuously". It should be taken quite literally. No two Yghreb are alike, because their bodies have adapted individually to their surroundings, duties and experiences.
While I didn't intentionally steal them from any one source (and I think their background and final goal is fairly original) they have partial cultural parallels in the Vorcha from Mass Effect, Darwin from X-men, and maybe even the Fly or the Thing from the John Carpenter movies of the same name. Oddly, I think their most direct inspiration was from the Remade in the Bas-Lag novels - I wanted a race that could be almost anything, without drawing too directly on previous ideas. 
You could also compare them to mutants in various post-apoc settings (or maybe even beastmen?), but this is really what I want to avoid. They are a race with their own unified culture who just happen to be adaptive shapechangers as well, I don't want them to become a kitchen sink race if you guys catch my drift. But maybe a unified visual for a race that can look like anything is asking for a bit much.     

An old Melhune civilization would be interesting. Maybe the Cold Years or a plague sent them deep underground and they emerged scattered and degenerate. I just feel like I can only play so many "Lost Civilization" cards, so I don't want to waste it.

I was considering the Huskmen (aka swarm people) to have some kind of civilized background as well, but I doubt this would make sense as anything but an oligarchy ruling over e.g. human slaves.