A Creation Story in the Works

[Humabout]

[note]It's probably too early to post this yet, but I figure I'm rusty enough that I can use all the feedback and criticism I can get.  If nothing else, I hope this is worth the read.[/note]
Hear me great Dreamer of old, in whose Spirit the whole of the World drinks!
Weaver of destiny, Knower of secrets, omniscient and boundless!
One in Whom all exist gathered as one and through Whom reincarnate,
Guide this my tongue in its tale.  Enter this vessel and speak!

Tell of the times when the world was yet young, undespoiled, and tender.
Tell of its whelping beneath the primordial skies, whose aurora
Beamed from the heavens above, opalescent and wondrous, in blessing.
Tell of immaculate dreams; tell of conceiving the world.

Boundless,  the eternal abyss stretched, reaching in vain for horizons
Yet to be dreamt of by He who still slumbered.  Its bottomless reaches,
Veiled in the infinite shadow without time, knew not any measure.
So the primordial sea stretched, endless beneath the gray sky.

Yet, where the depths were benighted, the surface mercurial gleamed.
Smooth as the finest glass, not one ripple disturbed the surface.
Even the slightest of waves dared not to disrupt its perfection.
Such was that virginal sea.  Perfect in form and in peace.

Endless though seeming, the ocean the heavens could never attain, for
As a voluptuous woman reclining beneath her husband
Bare after joining their bodies, the sea by the sky was covered.
High as the Ocean is deep; broad as the Heavens are wide.

Clear was the antediluvian sky, and suffused with divine glow.
Windless and cloudless, tranquility reigned; the quiescent Sky lay
Vast and unbroken atop his serene wife, the eternal abyss.
Calm as the Ocean is still; motionless, quiet the Sky.

[LordVreeg]

we will see where it goes.  we need more verse, my friend

[Humabout]

More you shall get as I write it!  I am finding staying in metre more difficult than originally anticipated.

[LordVreeg]

that comes and goes.  I find sometimes I can get myself to think in it then it gets easier.