Anybody want to help me with a little project?

[khyron1144]

I'm creating a quotation dictionary over on my own forum.

Anybody want to contribute?


I'll accept any kind of quotation:  comic book dialogue, movie dialogue, a bit out of a novel, popular music lyrics, respected culture stuff (no Shakespeare yet, which is odd because I do read the Bard for fun), religious stuff,anything really.


Right now it's rather, geek-culture oriented, but I would like it to be a little more generalized.

[Numinous]

No offense, but I think someone else thought of this too, and is a bit ahead of you.  Personally, I would consider making a name for yourself by helping these guys out, rather than working in their shadow.

Just my thoughts.

[khyron1144]

I kind of figured I wouldn't be the first.


They do look much farther along than I am.


The funny thing is that the bits they choose to quote from things that I've read aren't the ones that I included in my quotation dictionary.

[Raven Bloodmoon]

I'm game.  Even if it's not original, it's still fun.  Did you want the quotes here?

"Kiri kiri kiri kiri kiri!"  - Oodishion (1999)

"They sucked his brains out." - Starship Troopers (19??)

"Won't you try dying for once?" - [translation] Jigoku Shoujo (2006)

"Any society that trades a little freedom for security will lose both and deserves neither" - Benjamin Franklin

"Never trust a government that doesn't trust its own people with arms." - Benjamin Franklin

"Life is tranquil and death is peaceful.  It's the transition that's troublesome."  - Isaac Asimove

"Always store beer in a dark place."  - Robert Anison Heinlein

"The Eleventh Commandment:  Don't get caught." - Robert Anison Heinlein.

Want more?  Just ask!

[khyron1144]

I'm game.  Even if it's not original, it's still fun.  Did you want the quotes here?

Sure that'll work.

I was going to say how in the original post, probably suggesting PMing me here, emailing me, or joining my forum and PMing me there.  Just posting them in this thread works very nicely though, in fact, better than my ideas.

[Túrin]

And such an original idea, too. Who would have thought of using a forum thread to post replies in? ;) :P

Here's a contribution:

â,¬Å"It's a sorry man who can not invent an Oscar Wilde quote to fit his situation.â,¬Â

    ~ Oscar Wilde on Making up Oscar Wilde quotes

;) Túrin

[Velox]

"Specialization is for insects" -Robert Anison Heinlein

[SDragon]

"who are you?"
"I'm Barf!"
"Not in here, you're not- this is a mercedes!"
-Barf and the princess, Spaceballs

(I forget the princess's name)


"NRRAAR!!!"
"But how do you really feel?"
"GGRRRR--hnnr?"
- The Question and a monster, 52 (i forget what week)

[Dark Samurai Kyo]

I didn't see Anime or Video Games in your list but I thought you could use some
"I'm Kyo....Demon Eyes Kyo." Demon eyes Kyo from Samurai Deeper Kyo the anime

[khyron1144]

Here's what we've got so far, including suggestions that I've already incorporated:
   

For alphabetization purposes articles and spaces are not taken into consideration.  For example: If you want to find a quote about the world, look for it under W for world rather than T for the even though it will be listed as The World.


Beginnings
Whatever you do or dream you can do- begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.
-Johann Goethe

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-Semisonic, "Closing Time"

Can't say I've ever been too fond of beginnings, myself.  Messy little things.
-Atropos, The Sandman The Kindly Ones, written by Neil Gaiman


A
Action
Action taken without thought is like giving an egg a navel.
-Tar Gibbons, Aliens Ate My Homework by Bruce Coville

Advice
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE MAD
TO WORK HERE BUT IT HELPS
-a coffee mug, Going Postal by Terry Pratchett

My advice:  Just keep moving straight ahead.  Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
-George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?

If you trust in yourself and believe in your dreams and follow your star, youâ,¬,,¢ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and werenâ,¬,,¢t so lazy.
-Miss Tick, The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett

Afterlife
Reincarnation is my only hope.
-Asok, the intern in Dilbert by Scott Adams

It may be that we have all lived before and died, and this is Hell.
-A. L. Prusick

Agriculture
Cube Farmer:  I reckon Iâ,¬,,¢ll have to put this one down so he wonâ,¬,,¢t reproduce.  Sorry.
Wally:  No problem; I hear that a lot.
-Random Acts of Management, a Dilbert collection by Scott Adams

Ambition
Someday I will be so powerful that secretaries will have to explain why they laugh at me.
-Asok, the Intern, Random Acts of Management, a Dilbert collection by Scott Adams

Answers
It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
-James Thurber

I know the answer!  The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve?  I think I'm in the wrong building.
-Charles Schulz

There ainâ,¬,,¢t no answer.  There ainâ,¬,,¢t going to be any answer.  There never has been an answer.  Thatâ,¬,,¢s the answer.
-Gertrude Stein

Apes
What an ugly beast is the ape, and how like us.
-Cicero

To an engineer, everyone looks like a chimp.
-Dilbert, Words You Donâ,¬,,¢t Want To Hear During Your Annual Performance Review by Scott Adams


B
Battle Cries
Children, pull on your tights!  And give them heck!
-Reggie, Amelia Rules! by Jimmy Gownley

Spoon!
-The Tick

Beer
Always store beer in a dark place.
-Robert Anson Heinlein

Betting
The race may not be to the swift nor the victory to the strong, but that's how you bet.
-Damon Runyon

In a fight between you and the world, bet on the world.
-Franz Kafka


C
Capital Punishment
â,¬Å"Do you really think all this deters crime, Mr. Trooper?â,¬Â he said.
â,¬Å"Well, in the generality of things Iâ,¬,,¢d say itâ,¬,,¢s hard to tell, given that itâ,¬,,¢s hard to find evidence of crimes not committed,â,¬Â said the hangman, giving the trapdoor a final rattle.  Ã¢,¬Å"But in the specificality, sir, Iâ,¬,,¢d say itâ,¬,,¢s very efficacious.â,¬Â
â,¬Å"Meaning what?â,¬Â said Moist.
â,¬Å"Meaning Iâ,¬,,¢ve never seen someone up here moreâ,¬,,¢n once, sir.â,¬Â
-conversation between Moist von Lipwig, a condemned con man, and Mr. Trooper, the hangman, in Going Postal by Terry Pratchett

Children
A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

All children are essentially criminal.
-Dennis Diderot

Pre-adolescence is a rough ride for anyone.
-The Tick, The Tick: â,¬Å"The Tick vs. Brainchildâ,¬Â

Clothing
One must commit acts of the highest treason only when dressed in the most resplendent finery.
-Sebastian O, Sebastian O by Grant Morrison

The dandy has one unique advantage over the common herd.  No matter what the situation, he will always be more exquisitely dressed than his enemies.  Therefore, he has already triumphed.
-Sebastian O, Sebastian O by Grant Morrison

Conformity
Well I try my best to be just like I am,
But everybody wants you to be just like them.
-Bob Dylan, â,¬Å"Maggieâ,¬,,¢s Farmâ,¬Â

Courage
Fortune favors the audacious.
-Erasmus

A man with outward courage dares to die.
A man with inward courage dares to live.
-Lao-tzu

We must dare, and dare again, and go on daring.
-Georges Danton

Fear always springs from ignorance.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The principal act of courage is to endure and withstand dangers doggedly rather than to attack them.
-Thomas Aquinas

You got no guts--and you, you're a dead man!  
-Sting (the wrestler)

I dare because I care.
-The Tick, The Tick: â,¬Å"The Tick vs. Brainchildâ,¬Â


D
Dairy
Well, it's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.
-Mr. Mousebender, portrayed by John Cleese on Monty Python's Flying Circus in â,¬Å"The Cheese Shopâ,¬Â sketch

Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
-G. K. Chesterton

"Me, I really like my cheese sandwiches."
-Johnny the Bull

Death
Life is tranquil and death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
-Isaac Asimov

In the long run we are all dead.
-John Maynard Keynes

After Iâ,¬,,¢m dead Iâ,¬,,¢d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
-Cato the Elder


E
Education
The learned are seldom pretty fellows, and in many cases their appearance tends to discourage a love of study in the young.
-H. L. Mencken

Effort
One must always try, Arthur.
-The Tick, The Tick: â,¬Å"The Tick vs. Brainchildâ,¬Â


F
Fairness
My mom was fair.  You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left.
-Herb Caen

Footwear
I had no shoes and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man with no feet.  I took his shoes.  Now I feel better.
-George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops

Freedom of Expression
I doubt I'll be alive tomorrow, Lord.  On that basis I find it particularly easy to say exactly what I think...
-Lucien, The Sandman The Kindly Ones by Neil Gaiman


G
God
How can I believe in God when just last week I go my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
-Woody Allen

If god exists, his motives are certainly unfathomable.
-Avatar, God's Debris by Scott Adams

What sort of arrogance assumes God is like people?
-Avatar, God's Debris by Scott Adams

If there is a supreme being, heâ,¬,,¢s crazy.
-Marlene Dietrich

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.
-Arabian Proverb

Why attack God?  He may be as miserable as we are.
Erik Satie

Gratitude
I'd thank you if I weren't so evil!
-Charles a.k.a. Brainchild, The Tick: â,¬Å"The Tick vs. Brainchildâ,¬Â


H
Humor
Laughter is the very best medicine.
Remember that when your appendix bursts next week.
-Weird Al Yankovic, "Your Horoscope For Today"

Those who are humorless should not be taken seriously. They take themselves so seriously, they leave no room for others to do likewise.
-Anton Szandor LaVey, Satan Speaks!

Only a fool mistakes laughter for humor and fashion for style.
-Anton Szandor LaVey, Satan Speaks!

The Gods too are fond of a joke.
-Aristotle

I suppose if we couldnâ,¬,,¢t laugh at things that donâ,¬,,¢t make sense, we couldnâ,¬,,¢t react to a lot of life.
-Hobbes, The Days Are Just Packed, a Calvin and Hobbes collection by Bill Waterson

For every ten jokes, thou hast got an hundred enemies.
-Laurence Sterne


I[/b]
Ichthyology
It's my dead fish, and I'll do what I wish.
-Bucky Katt, Get Fuzzy by Darby Conley

Oh I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish.
-Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

Identity Crises
Dennis Rodman, take off that plaid! We ain't got no green-haired Scotsman where I come from!"
-Roddy Piper (Rodrick Toombs)


K
Knowledge
The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so.
-Mark Twain

Everyone is ignorant, only in different subjects.
-Will Rogers


L
Life
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-Mahatma Gandhi

Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
-Samuel Butler

People who see life as anything other than pure entertainment are missing the point.
-George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-George Santayana

Life is what happens while you are making other plans.
-John Lennon

The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other end in an awful hurry.
-John Lennon

It is not true that life is one damn thing after another â,¬'it is one damn thing over and over.
-Edna St. Vincent Malay

Lists
Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.

Four be the things Iâ,¬,,¢d been better without:
Love,  curiosity, freckles, and doubt.

Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.

Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.
-Dorothy Parker, â,¬Å"Inventoryâ,¬Â

Love
By the time you swear youâ,¬,,¢re his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying-
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
-Dorothy Parker, â,¬Å"Unfortunate Coincidenceâ,¬Â


M
Modern Times
Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.
-Ovid, Born 43 B.C., Died AD 17

O tempora! O mores!
[Translates to: What an age!  What moral standards!]
-Cicero, Born 106 B.C., Died 43 B.C.

Oh, this age!  How tasteless and ill-bred it is!
-Catullus, Born 84 B.C. Died 54 B.C.

Our ignorance of history makes us libel our own times.  People have always been like this.
Gustave Flaubert, Born December 21, 1821, Died May 8, 1880

Money
This looks like a job for legal tender.
-The Tick, The Tick: â,¬Å"The Tick vs. Brainchildâ,¬Â

Music
Music is essentially useless, as life is.
-George Santayana

Only sick music makes money today.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Without music, life would be a mistake.
-Friedrich Nietzsche


N
Nebraska
Nebraska is proof that Hell is full and the dead walk the earth.
-Liz Winston


O
Oddly Prescient
I think the world is run by C students.
-Al McGuire (at least a few years before George W. Bush became president)

Men have become tools of their tools.
-Henry David Thoreau (a good number of years before the computer or the automobile)

Originality
Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal.
-T. S. Eliot

Good Swiping is an art in itself.
-Jules Feiffer


P
Perspective
In the eyes of the dragon, Saint George was doubtless a monster.  But, as we know, the opinions of that unfortunate creature count for very little given its overwhelming defeat.  It is the fate of monsters to be forever on the losing side.
-Sebastian O, Sebastian O by Grant Morrison

Philosophers
Plato was a bore.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal.
-Leo Tolstoy

Politics
There is no distinctly American criminal class -except congress.
-Mark Twain

Political history is far too criminal of a subject to be a fit thing to teach children.
-W. H. Auden

Possessions
You tell me that you've got everything you want
And your bird can sing
But you don't get me, you don't get me

You say you've seen seven wonders and your bird is green
But you can't see me, you can't see me

When your prized possessions start to wear you down
Look in my direction, I'll be round, I'll be round

When your bird is broken will it bring you down?
You may be awoken, I'll be round, I'll be round
-The Beatles, "And Your Bird Can Sing

Positive Thinking
If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue.  And probably increase.
-George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

I have a new philosophy.  I'm going to dread one day at a time.
-Charles Schulz

Prayer
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-Mark Twain

If God listened to every shepherd's curse, our sheep would all be dead.
-Russian Proverb

God seems to have left the receiver off the hook.
-Arthur Koestler


Q
Quotes
This isn't much of a quote book if I'm in it.
-Richard Dowd

I really didn't say everything I said.
-Yogi Berra

â,¬Å"Whatâ,¬,,¢s the quote from?  Itâ,¬,,¢s very meaningful without, er, meaning very much.â,¬Â
â,¬Å"I think itâ,¬,,¢s just a quote,â,¬Â said Sacharissa.
-An exchange between William de Worde and Sacharissa Crisplock in The Truth by Terry Pratchett

It's a sorry man who can not invent an Oscar Wilde quote to fit his situation.
-Oscar Wilde


R
Reality
This is indeed a disturbing universe.
-Maggie Simpson, The Simpsons voiced by James Earl Jones

We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything.
-Thomas Alva Edison

Words such as dimension and field and infinity are nothing more than conveniences for mathematicians and scientists. They are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.
-Avatar, God's Debris by Scott Adams

Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality?
-Avatar, God's Debris by Scott Adams

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
-Mark Twain

Reality is a collective hunch.
-Lilly Tomlin and Jane Wagner

Regret
Calvin:  Iâ,¬,,¢d say Iâ,¬,,¢ve had a pretty good life so far.  In fact, looking back, I have only one regret.
Hobbes:  Whatâ,¬,,¢s that?
Calvin:  I regret I wasnâ,¬,,¢t born with opposable toes.
-The Days Are Just Packed, a Calvin and Hobbes collection by Bill Waterson

Religion
Wally:  I believe God created the Earth because he hates people.  And I believe coffee tastes better if you stir it with your finger.
Dilbert:  It sounds like a lonely religion.
Wally:  They all start that way.
-Random Acts of Management, a Dilbert collection by Scott Adams

Every day people are staying away from the church and going back to God.
-Lenny Bruce

Rules
The Eleventh Commandment: Don't get caught.
-Robert Anson Heinlein

Any fool can make a rule.
-Henry David Thoreau


S
Sarcasm
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania.
-Dorothy Parker, â,¬Å"Commentâ,¬Â

Siege Weaponry
When you have a fat friend, there are no seesaws, only catapults.
-Demetri Martin

Souls
I'll swallow your soul.
-Santa, Billy and Mandy Save Christmas

Suicide
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns arenâ,¬,,¢t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
-Dorothy Parker, â,¬Å"Resumẻâ,¬Â


T
Travel
Being here is a lot like being lost, Arthur.
-The Tick, The Tick: â,¬Å"The Tick vs. Brainchildâ,¬Â

Triumph
This calls for the Billy-was-right-dance.
-Billy, Billy and Mandy Save Christmas

Troubles
Pick your heart up off the ground,
Though Iâ,¬,,¢m sure it weighs a ton.
Youâ,¬,,¢re no better or no worse
Than any motherâ,¬,,¢s son.
-The Dropkick Murphys, â,¬Å"The Gangâ,¬,,¢s All Hereâ,¬Â

Weâ,¬,,¢re all fucked.  It helps to remember that.
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings


U
Unemployment
The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
-Slappy White


V
Vortexes, Swirling
I love it when there's a swirling vortex.
-Billy, Billy and Mandy Save Christmas


W
Witchcraft, Witches, Witching, etc
A witch never has matching crockery.
-Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

You were there, you had the hat, you did the job.  That was a basic rule of witchery:  Itâ,¬,,¢s up to you.
-Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

Words
When ideas fail, words come in handy.
-Goethe

Work
Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart give yourself to it.
-Buddha

Working-class people â,¬Å"look for work.â,¬Â  Middle-class people â,¬Å"try to get a job.â,¬Â  Upper-middle-class people â,¬Å"seek employment.â,¬Â
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings

Weâ,¬,,¢re all amateurs; itâ,¬,,¢s just that some of us are more professional about it than others.
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings

The World
The world is a madhouse, so it's only right that it is patrolled by armed idiots.
-Brendan Behan

The world is our school for spiritual discovery.
-Paul Brunton

Weâ,¬,,¢re a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
-Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle


X
Xenophobia
The metric system is the tool of the devil!
-Abraham J Simpson, The Simpsons


Z
Zoos
Did you know that the zoo can ban you for life if they catch you using a hibachi?
-Pointy-haired Boss, Random Acts of Management a Dilbert collection by Scott Adams


Endings
If you have something of importance to say, for God's Sake start at the end.
-Sarah Jeanette Duncan

Give me a good ending any time.  You know where you are with an ending.
-Atropos, The Sandman The Kindly Ones by Neil Gaiman

In the end, everything is a gag.
-Charlie Chaplin

[khyron1144]

Want more?  Just ask!

Sure thing, please.


By the way, contributors may notice I haven't got any "J" or "Y" quotes yet.  That's mostly an accidental oversight. I haven't found any good quotes in those areas yet, but if you have something about journeys or judgement or yogurt or yaks, please let me know.

[khyron1144]

Current version:

Beginnings
Whatever you do or dream you can do- begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.
-Johann Goethe

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-Semisonic, "Closing Time"

Can't say I've ever been too fond of beginnings, myself.  Messy little things.
-Atropos in  The Sandman The Kindly Ones, written by Neil Gaiman

A
Action
Action taken without thought is like giving an egg a navel.
-Tar Gibbons in  Aliens Ate My Homework by Bruce Coville

Adhesive
Dogbert: how do you like your new book- "The History of Glue"?
Dilbert: I couldn't put it down.
-A Dilbert comic strip by Scott Adams reprinted in The Joy of Work by Scott Adams


Advice
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE MAD
TO WORK HERE BUT IT HELPS
-a coffee mug in Going Postal by Terry Pratchett

My advice:  Just keep moving straight ahead.  Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
-George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?

If you trust in yourself and believe in your dreams and follow your star, you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.
-Miss Tick in The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett

You ought to
Take your medication everyday
Be a good dog
Live life in a wonderful way.
-Everclear, "Normal Like You"

Afterlife
Reincarnation is my only hope.
-Asok, the intern in Dilbert by Scott Adams

It may be that we have all lived before and died, and this is Hell.
-A. L. Prusick

Souls were believed to spend the 'here, there, and after' in Ethiopia.
-an anonymous student quoted in Non Campus Mentis compiled by Professor Anders Henrikson

Hundreds of people must die in this city every day.  I bet they don't have this trouble.  They just shut their eyes and wake up being born as someone else, or in some sort of heaven, or I suppose, possibly some sort of hell.  Or they go and feast with the gods in their hall, which has never seemed a particularly great idea- gods are all right in thier way, but not the kind of people a decent man would want to have a meal with.  The Yen Buddhists think you just become very rich.  Some of the Klatchians religions say you go to a lovely garden full of young women, which doesn't sound very religious to me...
Windle found himself wondering how you applied for Klathcian nationaluty after death.
-Windle Poons's thoughts regarding life after death in Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett.

Agriculture
Cube Farmer:  I reckon I'll have to put this one down so he won't reproduce.  Sorry.
Wally:  No problem; I hear that a lot.
-Random Acts of Management, a Dilbert collection by Scott Adams

Ambition
Someday I will be so powerful that secretaries will have to explain why they laugh at me.
-Asok, the Intern in Random Acts of Management, a Dilbert collection by Scott Adams

America
To get its edge back, I think what America really needs is evil.  Intense, unalloyed, concentrated evil.
-George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Porkchops

Answers
It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
-James Thurber

I know the answer!  The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve?  I think I'm in the wrong building.
-Charles Schulz

There ain't no answer.  There ain't going to be any answer.  There never has been an answer.  That's the answer.
-Gertrude Stein

Apes
What an ugly beast is the ape, and how like us.
-Cicero

To an engineer, everyone looks like a chimp.
-Dilbert in Words You Don't Want To Hear During Your Annual Performance Review, a Dilbert collection by Scott Adams

Authority
You show me the people who control the money, the land, and the weapons, and I'll show you the people in charge.
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings

Or shut up and be a victim of authority.
-Green Day, 'Warning'

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings

B
Battle Cries
Children, pull on your tights!  And give them heck!
-Reggie in Amelia Rules! by Jimmy Gownley

Members of G. A. S. P.!  The '˜Force' is with us!  The enemy's gate is down!  But a Shadow rises in the East!  Which seeks to be the ultimate power in the universe!  But by the power of G. A. S. P., we have the power!  Yet with great power comes great responsibility!  And though Ninja are a superstitious and cowardly lot, we must be Daredevils, the men without fear!  Who boldly go where no one has gone before!  And when we go, we go in search of Truth, Justice, and the American Way!  For the Ninjas must know the truth!  For the truth is out there!
-Reggie in Amelia Rules! by Jimmy Gownley

Spoon!
-The Tick

Beer
Always store beer in a dark place.
-Robert Anson Heinlein

Isn't beer best thing to have when you're hurtling through endless space!?!
-Krut in "The Dream is Dead- Gone, Shot Off, All Squashed Flat", Beautiful Stories For Ugly Children issue #30, written by Dave Louapre

Betting
The race may not be to the swift nor the victory to the strong, but that's how you bet.
-Damon Runyon

In a fight between you and the world, bet on the world.
-Franz Kafka

C
Capital Punishment
'Do you really think all this deters crime, Mr. Trooper?' he said.
'Well, in the generality of things I'd say it's hard to tell, given that it's hard to find evidence of crimes not committed,' said the hangman, giving the trapdoor a final rattle.  'But in the specificality, sir, I'd say it's very efficacious.'
'Meaning what?' said Moist.
'Meaning I've never seen someone up here more'n once, sir.'
-conversation between Moist von Lipwig, a condemned con man, and Mr. Trooper, the hangman, in Going Postal by Terry Pratchett

Capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life.
-Orrin Hatch

Career Disappointments
I take beautiful pictures of men, flowers, landscapes, rocks, jazz musicians, and other things, but the public is more interested in the women I shoot.  It's not the end of the world.  That's just the way it is.
-Marco Glaviano, Sirens

Children
A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

All children are essentially criminal.
-Dennis Diderot

Pre-adolescence is a rough ride for anyone.
-The Tick in The Tick: 'The Tick vs. Brainchild'

Clothing
One must commit acts of the highest treason only when dressed in the most resplendent finery.
-Sebastian O in Sebastian O written by Grant Morrison

The dandy has one unique advantage over the common herd.  No matter what the situation, he will always be more exquisitely dressed than his enemies.  Therefore, he has already triumphed.
-Sebastian O in Sebastian O written by Grant Morrison

Conformity
Well I try my best to be just like I am,
But everybody wants you to be just like them.
-Bob Dylan, 'Maggie's Farm'

Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Courage
Fortune favors the audacious.
-Erasmus

A man with outward courage dares to die.
A man with inward courage dares to live.
-Lao-tzu

We must dare, and dare again, and go on daring.
-Georges Danton

Fear always springs from ignorance.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The principal act of courage is to endure and withstand dangers doggedly rather than to attack them.
-Thomas Aquinas

You got no guts--and you, you're a dead man!  
-Sting (the wrestler)

I dare because I care.
-The Tick in The Tick: 'The Tick vs. Brainchild'

Culture
When one has more substance than culture, one is a rustic; when one has more culture than substance, one is a literatus.  Only when one has both substance and culture is one an exemplary person.
-Analects of Confucius 6:18 as presented in The Essential Confucius translated by Thomas Cleary


Cynics, Cynicism
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
-H. L. Mencken

D
Dairy
Well, it's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.
-Mr. Mousebender, portrayed by John Cleese on Monty Python's Flying Circus in 'The Cheese Shop' sketch

Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
-G. K. Chesterton

"Me, I really like my cheese sandwiches."
-Johnny the Bull

Death
Life is tranquil and death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
-Isaac Asimov

In the long run we are all dead.
-John Maynard Keynes

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
-Cato the Elder

The worms crawl in,
And the worms crawl out.
The ones that go in
Are lean and thin;
The ones that come out
Are fat and stout.
Your eyes fall in,
And your teeth fall out;
Your brains come tumbling down your snout.
Be merry my friends;
Be merry.
-'Worms', a traditional folk song as performed by the Pogues

Decapitation
Winfield goes back to the wall.  He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off!  It's rolling all the way back to second base!  This is a terrible thing for the Padres!
-Jerry Coleman

Desire
Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
-Susan Ertz

Discoveries
The Doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.
-Dizzy Dean

Drugs
The Prozac doesn't do it for me anymore.
-Everclear, "Normal Like You"

I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings

E
Education
The learned are seldom pretty fellows, and in many cases their appearance tends to discourage a love of study in the young.
-H. L. Mencken

Effort
One must always try, Arthur.
-The Tick, The Tick: 'The Tick vs. Brainchild'

Equality
The power of equality
Is not yet what it ought to be.
-Red Hot Chili Peppers, "The Power of Equality"

Everything is equal and therefore unimportant.  For example, there is no way for me to say that my acts are more important than yours, or that one thing is more essential than another, therefore all things all things are equal and by being equal they are unimportant.
-Don Juan, as quoted in A Seperate Reality: Further converstions with Don Juan by Carlos Castenada

Ethics
I know I'm doing something right when my business practices gag a rat.
-Dogbert in a Dilbert strip by Scott Adams

F
Fairness
My mom was fair.  You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left.
-Herb Caen

Faith
If people have no faith, I don't know what they are good for.  Can a vehicle travel without a link to a source of power?
-Analects of Confucius 2:22 as presented in The Essential Confucius translated by Thomas Cleary

Footwear
I had no shoes and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man with no feet.  I took his shoes.  Now I feel better.
-George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings

Freedom
I'm gonna get free
I'm gonna get free
I'm gonna get free
Rid into the sun.
-The Vines, "Get Free"

This is a free country.  Live like you wanna live, baby.  Yeah, ain't nobody gonna knock it, darling.
-Chuck Berry, a spoken comment during a live performance of "My Ding-A-Ling"

Freedom of Expression
I doubt I'll be alive tomorrow, Lord.  On that basis I find it particularly easy to say exactly what I think...
-Lucien in The Sandman The Kindly Ones written by Neil Gaiman

If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.
-Noam Chomsky

Asok:  The great thing about free speech is that I can criticize the government.
Pointy-haired Boss:  I'd fire you.
Asok:  I mean outside of work.
Pointy-haired Boss:  I'd fire you for that too.
Asok:  May I express enjoyment of my pastry?
Pointy-haired Boss:  It's a free country.
-A Dilbert comic strip by Scott Adams collected in When Body Language Goes Bad

G
Genetics
Genetics rolls strange dice on the green baize of life.
-Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett


God
How can I believe in God when just last week I go my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
-Woody Allen

If god exists, his motives are certainly unfathomable.
-Avatar, God's Debris by Scott Adams

What sort of arrogance assumes God is like people?
-Avatar, God's Debris by Scott Adams

If there is a supreme being, he's crazy.
-Marlene Dietrich

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.
-Arabian Proverb

Why attack God?  He may be as miserable as we are.
-Erik Satie

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of the other players^*, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.
^* ie. everybody.
-Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens


Gratitude
I'd thank you if I weren't so evil!
-Charles a.k.a. Brainchild, The Tick: 'The Tick vs. Brainchild'

Growing Up
My friends say I should act my age;
What's my age again?
-Blink 182, "What's My Age Again"

When I see the price that you pay,
I don't wanna grow up.
I don't ever wanna be that way,
And I don't wanna grow up.
Seems like folks turn into things
That they never want;
The only thing to live for is today.
-Tom Waits (although the Ramones cover may be more well-known), "I Don't Want to Grow Up"

Well I guess this is growing up.
-Blink 182, "Dammit"

No one should take themselves so seriously.
With many years ahead to fall in line.
Why would you wish that on me?
I never wann act my age.
What's my age again?
Blink 182, "What's My Age Again?"

H
Heroes, Heroism, Heroics
One murder makes a villain, millions a hero.
-Beilby Porteus

There was a stir when they climbed up into the chilly morning air, followed by a few boos and even some applause.  People were strange like that.  Steal five dollars and you were a petty thief.  Steal thousands  of dollars and you were either a government or a hero.
- Terry Pratchett, Going Postal

Honesty
It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.
-Ovid

Humor
Laughter is the very best medicine.
Remember that when your appendix bursts next week.
-Weird Al Yankovic, "Your Horoscope For Today"

Those who are humorless should not be taken seriously. They take themselves so seriously, they leave no room for others to do likewise.
-Anton Szandor LaVey, Satan Speaks!

Only a fool mistakes laughter for humor and fashion for style.
-Anton Szandor LaVey, Satan Speaks!

The Gods too are fond of a joke.
-Aristotle

I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.
-Hobbes, The Days Are Just Packed, a Calvin and Hobbes collection by Bill Waterson

For every ten jokes, thou hast got an hundred enemies.
-Laurence Sterne

Wit is educated insolence.
-Aristotle

[Elemental_Elf]

"Surrender? Surrender!? You think the letter on my head stands for France?"
~ Captain America, the Ultimates vol. 2

[khyron1144]

"Surrender? Surrender!? You think the letter on my head stands for France?"
~ Captain America, the Ultimates vol. 2

Good one.  I remember that issue.

[Elemental_Elf]

"Surrender? Surrender!? You think the letter on my head stands for France?"
~ Captain America, the Ultimates vol. 2

Good one.  I remember that issue.

I have no idea why that quote popped into my head, lol.

Here's a few more:

"Damn it, Bones, you're a doctor. You know that pain and guilt can't be taken away with a wave of a magic wand. They're the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. I don't want my pain taken away! I need my pain!"
~ Captain Kirk, Star Trek V

"We've made too many compromises already; too many retreats. They invade our space and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds and we fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn here! This far, no further! And *I* will make them pay for what they've done." ~  Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek First Contact

Jar-Jar Binks: Ooh mooey mooey I love you!
Qui-Gon Jinn: You almost got us killed! Are you brainless?
Jar-Jar Binks: I spake!
Qui-Gon Jinn: The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Now get out of here.
~ Star Wars Episode I