The Cadaverous Earth

[Superfluous Crow]

This is still definitely my favorite setting on this forum and one of the few that i have read rather extensively about. I've even shown this to many of my friends when i wanted to show them how awesome settings can potentially be.  Now, i don't actually have much criticism or commenting to give, but i thought i should at least provide you with some praise and encouragement even though you've plenty of that already :p
Oh, and it's annoying that you take all the good ideas ^^
Keep up the good work.

[Steerpike]

[ooc]Another insectile update - the gorgefly, the equivalent of a dragon for the Cadaverous Earth.  It's posted in a new section, the Bestiary, which is in the same post as the Oneiroi/Characters, right after the Inhumans post.

Thanks very much for the praise, Crow, and I'm glad you're enjoying CE!  Incidentally, most of my best ideas are pilfered or at least heavily influenced from other sources, including some settings on this board...[/ooc]

[Ghostman]

I'm not sure what to think about the gorgefly. I love the dire maggot stage but the matured fly seems less impressive. This is the part that strikes me as odd (and not 'odd' in the Cadaverous Earth way):

They suck energy from the environment around them, vastly accelerating the process of decomposition, as if their very breath contained the essence of decay.

After the deliciously nasty feeding habits of the larvae, this seems surprisingly subtle.

[Steerpike]

[ooc]Hmm yeah.  The idea was to have a weird binary operating between the maggots/fly - the maggots eat the dead, the flies consume vitality itself, leaving the dead, which the maggots then eat, etc...

Anyone have suggestions about the adult stage of the gorgefly?  Perhaps instead of a giant fly, a sentient swarm of them that can form itself into various psuedo-solid shapes??  Something stranger but less subtle in its feeding patterns?  Any other ways to twist the adult stage?  Or is the idea of a giant fly just not cool enough?[/ooc]

[Ghostman]

Maybe the adult gorgefly could be able to control swarms of little biting flies? This could even function as a kind of symbiotic relationship, where the swarms nest inside the giant fly and it can spit them out when attacking. These swarms of flies would then engulf any living creatures and kill them by sucking the life out of them. Or perhaps they literally suck blood/bodily fluids, leaving the victims as dried husks? They would then return to the maw of the gorgefly and regurgitate what they ate, thus feeding the big one.

[Steerpike]

[ooc]OK, totally revamped the gorgefly.  Now the imago stage is a cross between a Great Unclean One and a giant fly.  I think it's a lot more grotesque.  I tweaked the mortifaction stuff and incorporated your regurgitation suggestion in a sense, Ghostman.  Let me know what you think.

Also, have a review badge: .[/ooc]

[Superfluous Crow]

Although i had no problems with the old gorgefly as such, this one is way cool. Only issue i might have is that this reminds me more of a CE pit fiend than a CE dragon (which i think you were aiming for at some point). On the other hand, it does have a breath weapon that beats any old gout of fire or lightning any day.  

[Steerpike]

[ooc]The dragon connection wasn't vital: its still a big, dangerous, decay-oriented and fly-themed monster, which is what I wanted.  It also has the benefit of fitting more with the other insect/arachnid races, suggesting the possibility that they have some common origin point.  Perhaps gorgeflies were developed by the cestoids as living war machines, as mantids may have been as grunts/technicians and lilix as spies, assassins, and advisors?[/ooc]

[Steerpike]

[ooc]Added the piranha rat to the bestiary.[/ooc]

[Superfluous Crow]

If i had a use for a piranha rat i would want one. Anyway, are they by any chance inspired by naked mole rats?
And not that i usually care this much about realism, but wouldn't they go instinct quite quickly? Seems like they'll either just run around gorging themselves until they die or eat each other and then die.

[Ghostman]

Love the new hybrid gorgefly. It's far more terrifying than the old one, and beats it's larval stage in grotesquery.

As for the piranha rats, I don't think they'd be in any danger to go extinct. There should be some survivors left after a pack goes cannibalistic, and a fast breeding cycle should bring their numbers up quickly.

[Superfluous Crow]

Hmm, like a constantly oscillating population.

[Steerpike]

[ooc]I read that actual piranhas do resort to cannibalism if pressed, which is why I included that aspect.  It would lead to some serious population instability.  I'm kind of imagining the rats almost like an old bioweapon released centuries ago that's sort of grown ubiquitous, like the headcrabs in Half-Life.  And yeah, naked mole rats - especially those in Fallout 3 - were an inspiration.[/ooc]

[Steerpike]

[ooc]A new race added to the Inhumans section - the jatayi, a tribe of vulture-like creatures only a few hundred strong who survive by telling stories, singing songs, and feeding on carrion.  They're influenced by Hindu mythology and by Mieville's garuda, particularly the librarian tribe.[/ooc]

[LD]

It is a nice setting.

It reminds me of China Mieville; a bit too dark for my personal taste if I were to adventure or involve myself in. But heavens, I might enjoy an "adventurous" romp through the world.

I see a significant difference between Mieville and Lovecraft's works from those of King and the World of Darkness literature. In the former, the world is so rich with wondrous things, that even though they are tarnished, they retain much interest. Also, there is a sense of searching, of at least an attempt to end the madness, to stop the crawling chaos.

In the World of Darkness, there is too much nihilism, regrettably. In Lovecraft and Mieville, the characters actually aren't that nihilistic- except perhaps for Bellis Coldwine... and even she has hope.

I think you may have left some possibility for hope, but I haven't read your literature in the green boxes; only the descritpion of the cities, countries, and races. Your comments, however, suggest that there isn't any hope for the world.

And like two critics in this thread who suggested that hope should exist, I'll petition for you to at least keep that in mind when considering creating more of the growing dread.

One constructive suggestion; in the description of the maze city:
"in some long-forgotten language, a tongue which those who spend too long wandering the endless passages begin to inexplicably babble in."

I love HP Lovecraft- and specifically his Dream Cycle and the Mountains of Madness. The Dream Cycle had a lot of overwriting though. But if I remember correctly, it had specificity. Saying "Some" makes the language seem like a throwaway, not menacing at all. Preciseness is better than wishy-washiness.

"in a long-forgotten language all writ in angles and chasm-opening groves, a tongue which those who spend too long wandering the endless passages begin to inexplicably babble in. The babbles grate on ears and pallets, ripping the vocal chords of the utterers until before long all they can do is squeak and gibber and cry with pain. The gibberers, called Mazeborn, cannot stop and do not stop until they die.

The Mazeborn who escape from the labyrinth are cleaned and clothed by the devoted of the Gibbering Goddess. Their vocal chords are daily healed, but the wretched creatures remain stranded, chained and straining at the walls of the temples of the Gibbering Goddess.

Some listen to the Mazeborn, and others, robed neophytes look to posterity and record the wretched ones' rambling glossolalia."

Best luck!
~ LD