The Day the Earth Stood Still is a Bad Movie (a rant)

[SA]

BEHOLD THE SPOILER

Keanu comes to earth in ginormous, awesome-looking sphere of unidentifiable matter and gets shot by panicky idiot trigger-finger soldier.  Rushed to surgery, Keanu is interrogated by inexplicably belligerent Secretary of Defence (Kathy Bates), who seems to have a death wish for the human species (seriously, this alien is obviously incredibly more advanced than we are, and states repeatedly that he comes from a civilisation '" nay, an alliance of civilisations '" which, one may assume, is capable of handing our asses to us in a microsecond.  Not to mention the massive robot that accompanied him, which you know must be packing like, seventeen different kinds of heat).

Keanu escapes and joins human woman (Jeniffer Connelly) who believes she can convince him not to wipe us off the face of the earth.  He meets with alien who has lived among humans for 70 years and has grown to love them but still recommends their immediate destruction (I'll restate that: Alien #2 sees the good in human kind, and wants to spend the last of its days among humanity, but still encourages Keanu to blast us to kingdom come.  If that's not a damning indictment, what the heck is?).  Meanwhile, retard-macho-military-men are attempting to blow up massive robot which has not yet attempted to kill anyone.  Keanu has stated that it only responds to aggression.  This engagement leads to (surprise!) the unnecessary deaths of an unfortunate tank crew.

Jeniffer takes Keanu (along with snotnosed stepson/superfluous-subplot-Jaden-Smith) to meet distinguished intellectual (John Cleese), hoping he can convince murderous alien to leave us be.  His general argument is: 'You aliens only evolved your civilisation when at the brink of disaster.  Humans are at the brink of disaster, but you do not give us the same opportunity you had.'  This is a valid point, but the idea that Super-advanced interstellar-alien-confederation hadn't already taken that point in consideration is rather absurd.  The further fact that Cleese's words have a persuasive effect on Keanu suggests that the alien is, in fact, an idiot, and wholly unqualified for the delicate task of global genocide.

Alien robot is captured and amoral scientists attempt to drill into it. Drill is slowly consumed by insect destructor-bots.  Bots then proceed to destroy everything in sight, converting matter into more bots.  Keanu sees woman and child crying over grave of dead serviceman.  This is apparently enough to change his mind, having finally seen 'the other side' of human beings.

I'm not sure if that summary really conveys just how stupid this movie is.  Within the first half hour, the American government pretty much confirms the aliens' fear: humankind has a serious boner for mayhem.  When given the option to take the alien to a nearby conference of human leaders (which he already knows about and might have actually come to earth to attend) the Secretary of State refuses, instead deciding to keep him confined like a prisoner of war.  From the alien's arrival they spend the entire movie actively antagonising a blatantly superior being.   This is like Child Protection services visiting your house and you refusing to give them the keys to your children's cages.

Nothing intelligent is said or done, and none of the characters have any depth.  It doesn't even serve as an action blockbuster, so I'm at a loss as to why the movie was made at all.  I wonder if a better film might have resulted if the extraterrestrial had been greeted with a handshake, instead of handcuffs.  Maybe that would have injected some true pathos and ambiguity into the premise: humanity must die, so that the earth can live.

[Lmns Crn]

I'm told the original The Day the Earth Stood Still was a brilliant landmark of a film, though I'm curious as to how well it stood the test of time. I keep meaning to see it.

By all accounts, this remake is terrible, and I'm still trying to figure out why it was deemed necessary to remake an undisputed science fiction classic as this hamfisted and illogical piece of junk.

[SA]

What bothered me was that it was possible to remake it well.  For instance, if the human beings had acted calmly, rationally and diplomatically, then Klatu's intention of destroying humanity would have presented a compelling conflict: how do we convince an insanely powerful extraterrestrial not to exterminate us all?  Say he still gets shot when he steps out of the ship, but the Secretary of Defence is conciliatory and immediately takes him to the conference of world leaders.  Instead of attempting to imprison him and blow up his robot, negotiations begin.  Immediately the stakes are bigger, the plot actually feels more epic, it makes sense to have more subplots, and we actually care about the humans instead of them coming off as idiotic and unpleasant.

The frustrating thing for me is that science fiction is a superb genre, with great potential for philosophy, speculation and social commentary, as well as kickass action.  Maybe I'm so pissed off because I watched Solaris the day before experiencing this drivel and I'd gotten it into my head that every Sci Fi should be that good.

[Cheomesh]

Most sci-fi these days are just anti-human drivel anyways.  I wouldn't pay it any heed.

M.

[SilvercatMoonpaw]

You know, this sounds like a GREAT movie to parody:

Klatu (calling robot on commlink): Hello, how's everything?
Robot (in dry, Hitchhiker's Marvin voice): It's fine, apart from the gunfire.
Klatu: They're shooting at you?
Robot: For the last hour.
Klatu: Do you need me to do anything?
Robot: Ask them to vary their attacks.  Break up the monotony.

[SilvercatMoonpaw]

Most sci-fi these days are just anti-human drivel anyways.

Yeah, even WALL-E got in on the action.

[Lmns Crn]

Most sci-fi these days are just anti-human drivel anyways.

Yeah, even WALL-E got in on the action.

I do not think that was the point of WALL-E at all.

[Nomadic]

Most sci-fi these days are just anti-human drivel anyways.

I do not think that was the point of WALL-E at all.

Also WALL-E didn't suck.

[Loch Belthadd]

no, but it was in there.

[Nomadic]

You know it would be funny that after all the centuries of man writing stories about the future and how horrible humanity is and will be that things turn out differently. We are discovered by a collective of alien beings and they are amazed at how artistic and peaceful we are. Some want to conquer us, a few want to emulate us, and in the end we just become another normal part of the collective (as opposed to some conquering empire or a rash member that causes trouble). It would be even more funny to find that a species viewing itself as hostile and instinctual is actually common for most before making contact with other groups.

and that's my 2 cp

[Llum]

Anti-human is something of a "fad" at the moment. Personally its something I agree with (/misanthropy) but it can be done with varying degrees of skill/success.

On topic, I read a review of the movie and it sounded completely horrible. The only reason it looked good in the first place were the special effects, which I hear are quite good. However the whole plot seems full of ridiculous moments.

And the end... oh my goodness. Its so bad >_<

[snakefing]

I'm not sure why they would even try to remake this movie. It was a creature of the Cold War, when many people were terrified at the prospect of imminent nuclear annihilation. I just don't see how it could possibly resonate in the present day and age.

The theme of man's inhumanity to man is timeless and universal. But the threat of alien annihilation was largely symbolic of an annihilation we were about to visit on ourselves. Just not really something people worry about a lot anymore.

(Then again, even today, every British Prime Minister writes a letter on taking office. No one else ever sees this letter. It is sealed in a safe, and that safe sealed in another safe that is welded to the floor of an ICBM-armed submarine. When the PM leaves office, the letter is destroyed, still unread. If the UK were to be destroyed by nuclear attack, the letter will be opened. It contains the PM's first and last order - whether or not the submarine's missiles should be launched in retaliation. No one must ever know what the order is, or was. No doubt the leaders of every nuclear-annihilation-capable nation have prepared similar orders under similar conditions.)

[LordVreeg]

You know, this sounds like a GREAT movie to parody:

Klatu (calling robot on commlink): Hello, how's everything?
Robot (in dry, Hitchhiker's Marvin voice): It's fine, apart from the gunfire.
Klatu: They're shooting at you?
Robot: For the last hour.
Klatu: Do you need me to do anything?
Robot: Ask them to vary their attacks.  Break up the monotony.

I did crack up at this.  Douglas Adams versions of most bad SCIFI fixes them...who knew?

It DOES drive me crazy when someone botches up a perfectly good movie in an attmept to modernize it.

[Lmns Crn]

I'm not sure why they would even try to remake this movie. It was a creature of the Cold War, when many people were terrified at the prospect of imminent nuclear annihilation. I just don't see how it could possibly resonate in the present day and age

As I understand it, the remake replaces the dangers of nuclear cataclysm with the possibility of environmental destruction.

Yes, Klaatu is an extraterrestrial space-hippie, come to earth to make humanity change its ways before global warming drowns all our polar bears. No, I don't think it has the traction of the plot from the original film, either.

[Higgs Boson]

[blockquote Salacious Angel]I'm not sure if that summary really conveys just how stupid this movie is. [/blockquote]

Oh, it does.

Seeing the previews, it looked awesome. Now I have no intention of watching it.