Goblin Campaign

[Steerpike]

[ic=Episode 6: Exterminate!]Dust and cobwebs coat the walls of the chamber at the foot of the stairwell, but beneath the grime Kraashgar can see elaborate frescoes depicting monstrous amphibian forces and kuo-toan figures marching through enormous cavern structures, or warring with fish-like creatures.  There are two doorways here, to the left and right; he chooses the rightmost, following a passage that divides, turns right again and slinks quietly into a large, hexagonal chamber with a stairway leading down into murky, greenish water.  The white, bloodless corpse of a kuo-toa lies on the floor at the doorway, body punctured in several places.  Kraashgar looks up and spots the three stirges roosting on the ceiling like bats.

He aims a shot with his javelin but fumbles it badly, so that his weapon clatters off the wall and into the water.  The stirges, awakened by the clamor, begin to flutter about the room.  One alights on the goblin and penetrates his flesh with its disgusting proboscis!  Alarmed, Kraashgar attempts to swat the creature away, then runs pell-mell into the water!  The stirge remains attached, but the other two circle overhead, unwilling to dive beneath the water.

Now submerged, Kraashgar attempts to remove the stirge, stabbing at it with his bone dagger.  He flails and nicks the stirge with his blade, but the insectile creature remains attached, sucking a bellyfull of blood before detaching and fluttering off in a flurry of water and wings.  Kraashgar breaks the surface of the water and seizes his javelin again, hurling it at the now-bloated creature; this time his shot strikes home, skewering the stirge against the far wall in a shower of hot blood.  The other two stirges whine like bats and go into a frenzy, fluttering about their sibling's corpse.  Kraashgar approaches with his blade and with a well-aimed chop manages to kill another stirge.  The third, alarmed, flutters round and attaches itself, sucking more blood from our hero before it too is claimed by his blade!

Anemic and dazed, Kraashgar uses the kuo-toa's pincer staff to pry his javelin from the wall and then returns to the passage, turning left this time.  He comes to a storage chamber containing more pincer-staffs in iron brackets, some ceramic jugs, and a large stone chest.  Another stirge lurks on the ceiling.  Taking care to be quiet Kraashgar puts down his javelin and carefully removes a pincer-staff, trying to position it around the stirge.  Unfortunately the unwieldy weapon is too heavy for him and clanks against the ceiling, disturbing the stirge!  It tries to attach to Kraashgar but is deterred by his leather armor, and the goblin warrior manages to pinch the little horror with the staff.  It struggles to free itself but our hero squeezes the mechanical trigger-mechanism and the stirge pops like a blood blister.

Only one passage remains.  Kraashgar retrieves his javelin but drags the pincer-staff with him as well, back towards the remaining doorway; beyond is a small round chamber whose ceiling drips and whose wall frescoes are obscured by thick green mould.  There's a central dais that looks to hold some kind of reliquary and a heavy stone door on the far wall set with glyphs; two final stirges are evident as well, awakened by Kraashgar's extermination attempts.  They swoop down and one attaches and begins to drain our hero!  Woozily Kraashgar drops his javelin and brings the pincer-staff to bear on the other stirge; again the kuo-toan weapon proves effective.  Then he rips the remaining stirge from his shoulder bare-handed and batters the little thing to death against the flagstone floor.

Badly fatigued and pale with blood-loss, Kraahsgar retrieves his javelin and stumbles back up the stairs to the shrine of Dagon.  The kuo-toan priest makes a tsk sound and takes the blood-spattered pincer-staff before inspecting the sub-level fane.  Satisfied with Kraashgar's job he lets the goblin go.  Our hero wanders back onto Gris-Gris Street, offers one of the fish-heads to the All-Mother (burning the sacrifice in a small brazier '" the fumes are carried up to ventilation chimneys in the roof), and then sets off back to the market.  Despite his debilitated state he feels newly emboldened, filled with a sense of accomplishment.[/ic][ooc]At the end of this small adventure Kraashgar leveled up, becoming a Level 2 Goblin Warrior.  He got lucky and rolled 8 for his extra Hit Die, and put skill ranks in Climb and Jump.[/ooc]

[Steerpike]

[ic=Episode 7: The Fighting Pits]Kraashgar continues his exploration of Ool-Nacha, heading back to the bazaar.  He admires some of the wares (currently beyond his means) and then inspects the surrounding tunnels, Yellowtbone Alley and Oozetongue Way.  Off Oozetongue Way he locates the local fighting pits, hewn into the floor and surrounded by a crowd of spectators and hawkers selling food and drink.

In the center, an orc wielding two axes faces a sinuous creature with a humanoid face and a serpentine, undulating body.  The orc hacks madly at the snake-like creature but the thing darts back, hissing, before pouncing forward and clamping its jaws round the orc's neck.  It withdraws before the orc gladiator can counterattack.  The warrior yells with pain and fury before his face goes black and he falls over, twitching.

'Victory isth mine!'  The thing cries, as money changes hands and the pits echo with groans and cheers.

Kraashgar notices one individual cheering particularly loudly '" a large, obese troglodyte who sits on a gilded palanquin held up by kobold slaves, with a pair of trog warriors and a scarred, halberd-wielding orc as bodyguards and some scantily clad trog courtesans feeding him giblets of raw, still-quivering meat.

He considers for a moment.  He is clearly no match for the creatures in the ring, but he's got three gold pieces still burning a hole in his pocket, so why not bet on a match or two?  He watches a few more fights (the dark naga devours some duergar crossbowmen and a grick obliterates some zombies) and then begins to place some bets.

Turns out that Kraashgar has a good eye for picking the right combatant.  He bets on a  flurry of matches '" on a gnoll that takes down a grimlock and a krenshar, a kuo-toa that slays two svirfneblin, on an orc that gets messily devoured by an unfettered ghoul.  Up a few coins he bets on the ghoul he'd just lost to and wins more gold as it slays first a duergar sorcerer, then a drow archer that's even immune to its paralyzing attack!  He bets on a final match between a summoned earth elemental and a minotaur and wins when the gnarled, stony spirit crushes the horned humanoid into the arena floor.

Up an astounding eleven gold coins and realizing that he's both hungry and desperately thirsty, Kraashgar consumes what's left of his food and heads back towards Membrane Street, where he spotted a bar earlier.[/ic][ooc]I let the player control the combatant he bet on and roll for it in the fight, as a nice change of pace - I think it was refreshing to control a character with more than 8 hit points, though Kraashgar will be up to 12 once his Con damage heals.[/ooc]

[Steerpike]

[ic=Episode 8: Brawl in the Blind Beholder]As Kraashgar pushes through the bazaar towards Membrane Street, the crowd parts '" but not for him.  A massive glass tank or aquarium has entered the market, drawn by a pair of muscular, slimy-skinned humanoids with fish-like heads and webbed digits.  Inside the tank a dark shape is suspending in murky, greenish water.  As the tank and its haulers draw closer our hero sees the thing within: a giant fish-like creature with rubbery skin, a lamprey-like maw, and three glossy black eyes.  One of them swivels towards him and regards our hero momentarily; he feels an enormous, powerful weight on his mind, like something pressing against the boundaries of his brain, not painful but incredibly strong, even overwhelming.  Then the fish-thing looks away and hisses something in a hideous, watery language to the tank-bearers, who pull it onwards towards Oozetongue Way.

Unnerved by the encounter Kraashgar pushes his way through the crowd and back to Membrane Street, where he locates the bar he saw earlier: an unsavory-looking establishment called The Blind Beholder.  There's also a sign that reads 'Help Wanted: Servers, Dancers' in Undercommon.  The minotaur bouncer confiscates his javelin but lets him keep his knife.

Inside are a set of chambers smelling of food and drink.  The Blind Beholder isn't too crowded: a couple of duergar peer at Kraashgar suspiciously from a corner, a horned humanoid male with glowing red eyes and black, drow-made armor drinks what looks like a glass of blood, and a slimy koa-toa playing cards with a hefty orc.  There's a bigger crowd at the bar, as various patrons clamor for the bartender's attention: a gnarly-fleshed roper who can serve six drinks at once with its flickering tendrils, while chatting with the patrons in its unnerving voice, cyclopean eye swiveling to and fro.  There are also four troglodytes who lounge in a side room, chatting in Draconic and laughing their bizarre, hissing laughs.

Feeling proud of himself and eager to spend some of his newly acquired fortune Kraashgar boldly struts up to the bar and seats himself on one of the stone stools.

'Hey there, small fry,' the roper says gruffly, in a voice like a stone screaming.  'What can I get you?  Fungus beer?  Lizard-bile?  How bout a Bloody Bugbear?'  Some of the other patrons chuckle at this.

'Give me your strongest drink,' Kraahsgar proclaims brashly.  The roper chortles at this and in a flurry of tendrils has produced a potent-looking cocktail of some variety that smokes a little and smells acridly of alcohol.

'Five silver pieces,' it demands, which Kraashgar pays.  He downs the drink as quickly as possible and immediately regrets this decision.  He's lost a lot of blood, and whatever was in the drink makes him feel instantly nauseous.  His vision blurs, the room reels, and he has to grip the bar to keep upright.  A derro seated at the next stool laughs.

'Puny greenskin can't hold his liquor!'

'I can (hic) hold it better'n you!'  Kraashgar burps.  'Look, you've got puke on your '" oh, wait, that's just your face.'
 
'Fuck you, gobbo scum!'  The derro draws a shortsword and lunges towards Kraashgar, screaming in Dwarven!

Our hero reacts surprisingly quickly, drawing his own blade and dodging away from the derro's blow.  A circle forms round the two combatants, and the roper only watches, polishing a mug absently.

The two circle each other.  Kraashgar makes a sudden thrust and stabs the derro in the chest, but the half-dwarf is tough and merely snarls, himself too drunk to feel the pain.  They trade blows but fail to damage one another, till the derro nicks the goblin above the eye, drawing blood.  Kraashgar staggers backwards and the derro is upon him, slashing him across the chest!  Though the wounds aren't deep, our hero has already lost a lot of blood to the stirges and is not in prime fighting shape.  Fortunately, the derro underestimates a lunge and slips on a puddle of spilt beer, falling prone.  Seizing the opportunity Kraashgar jumps upon him and slits his throat in a single, surprisingly deft motion.  The derro makes a wet choking sound and falls dead!

Some of the crowd cheer; others boo.  Kraashgar is violently ill, spattering the derro corpse, adding insult to injury.  He feels a lot better, though.  The roper seems more upset about the vomit than the dead derro on his floor and fixes our hero with its glowering red eye while signalling for the bouncer to dispose of the derro.  Kraashgar pulls out a full gold piece and lays it on the counter.

'For the mess,' he nods, feeling larger-than-life, adrenaline flowing through his small, battered body.  'I'll have another (hic) drink.'

'You're getting a fungus beer, this time,' the roper growls.  'And nurse that thing, okay?'

'This one's on me,' says an unexpected voice: the horned humanoid in black armor Kraashgar noticed earlier.  He raises his goblet of blood and smiles.

'Thanks,' says Kraashgar.  'Appreciate it.'

'I made five gold on that little scuffle.  You've got balls, for a goblin.'  The tiefling sips and smiles again.  'I'm Alastor, by the way.  Say, you looking for work?  I know an Ogre Mage who could use a guy like you.'

'Sure.'

'Have a look at the wall over there,' the tiefling jerks a taloned thumb towars the tavern wall, plastered with wanted posters, advertisements, and job offers.  'Pretty decent pay, boss isn't too bad a guy, for an ogre.'

Sipping his greenish beer Kraashgar stumbles over to the far wall and inspects the various posters.  While some exotic dancers (a duergar as hairless as the rest of her race and a lewdly clad half-drow) mount a dais he reads:

[spoiler]WANTED: Rogue choker preying on caravans on the 13th; bring the head to town hall for 20 gold crown reward.

THINK YOU'RE TOUGH?  Try your luck at the Ool-Nacha Fighting Pits, off Oozetongue Way.  All fights to the death, automatic prize of five gold pieces!

The Shrine of Ghol-Ilisich is looking for exterminators capable of dealing with an ochre jelly that's taken up residence in our lower sanctum.  Price to be negotiated.

GOOD WITH YOUR HANDS?  DREAMING OF A BETTER CAREER?  THE TRAPSMITH'S GUILD is looking for recruits!  Gain valuable experience and a first rate education in trap design and construction.  Speak to your local representative today for more information!

LOST: Small ring of invisibility, ruddy gold, no inset, runes on band, slight illusion aura.  Sentimental value.  If found please ask at the Welcome Gloom Inn, Membrane Street, Ool-Nacha.  15000 gold piece reward, no questions asked.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS DISPLACER BEAST? (Drawing) Glossy purple fur, black spots, friendly disposition, house-trained.  Answers to Mr. Sixlegs.  Return to 1644 Squideye Row, Yolgur, the 14th.

WANTED: Escaped slave.  Surface gnome, XIV brand on left arm, possibly minor sorcerer.  Return to 14 Oozetongue Way, Ool-Nacha.  Alive, 15 gold pieces.  No reward if killed.

LOOKING FOR SKILLED INFILRATOR to retrieve the corpse of drow sorcerer TYRZACH THE UTTERER from the krenshar nest in the necropolis of MORGASH on the 11th.  Return to the Shrine of the Spider Goddess on Gris-Gris Street, Ool-Nacha for 200 gold pieces; no reward if the body is mutilated and/or nibbled.[/spoiler]

And finally:


[spoiler]MINIONS WANTED: Ogre Mage seeks reliable servants and/or guards.  Pays 2 gold pieces a week, plus full room and board.  Opportunities for upward mobility.  Experience desirable but not required.  No dwarves or undead.  Apply with Grognash the Orc in the Bazaar.[/spoiler]

He squints at this last one.  Sounds like a good gig...[/ic]

[Steerpike]

[ic=Episode 9: The Interview]Kraashgar is exhausted, so he checks into the Welcome Gloom Inn across the street for a couple of silver pieces and has a welcome sleep.  When he wakes up he feels refreshed and finds that some of his wounds are healing but also discovers that the last morsels of fish are rotting in his satchel, so he seeks out the otyugh garbage disposal off Yellowtongue Alley and gets rid of the putrescent fish-bits.  He has breakfast at The Blind Beholder (fried centipedes and a watery stew of skinned bat) and has a fungus ale.  Some trogs - thugs of Rancid's - storm into the bar just as Kraashgar is finishing his meal, still sipping his ale.  They begin talking loudly in Draconic.  One of them catches the goblin's eye and squints at him.

'What you lookin' at, greenskin.'

'What?'  Kraashgar pretends to have been staring into space.

'I think you should bugger off.'

'I'm not done my beer.'  The roper bartender, polishing a glass, rolls its eye and mutters 'not again' under its breath.

The trog slaps Kraashgar's tankard and the ale slops on the ground.

'I said leave.'

Kraashgar considers the trogs but realized he's outmatched.  Just because he could take a measly, drunken derro in a knife-fight doesn't mean he's king of the underworld.  He slinks off to the bazaar and locates the orc Grognash, a bored looking creature who sits at a stall that says 'Minions Wanted.'

'I'm here about the job?'  Kraashgar says tentatively.

'Oh, an applicant!'  The orc suddenly perks up.  'Fantastic.  Boss's really low on minions right now, haven't had any new recruits in days.'  He looks the goblin up and down.  'Alright, I have to ask you a few questions first, okay?'  Grognash fishes in his vest pocket and extracts a small pair of reading glasses.

'Alright, first thing's first.  Name?'

'Kraashgar.'

'That one '˜A', or two?'

'Two.'

'Race?'

'Goblin.'

'Age?'

'Seventeen.'

'Profession?'

'Warrior.'

'Any skills?'

'I can sneak around pretty well.  And kill stuff.'

'Any special abilities?'

'Uh, like what?'

'Like, can you cast ghost sound at will, or are you half-demon or something?'

'No, nothing like that.'

'Can you cast spells?'

'Nope.'

'Any known diseases?'

'Not that I'm aware of.'

'Any phobias?'

'I guess I'm scared of dying.'

'Okay, death'¦ Estimation of creatures killed?'

'About eight, I think?'

'Languages spoken?'

'Undercommon, Goblin.'

'Any religion?'

'I worship the All-Mother.'

'All-Mother, gotcha.  Okay, that gets the basic stuff out of the way.  Now a few trickier questions.  There're no wrong answers, we just want to see if you're a good fit for our organization, alright?'

'Sure.'

'What kind of position do you see yourself taking in a dungeon environment?'

'I dunno, working as a guard I guess.'

'Could you handle yourself on a raid?'

'I think so.'

'Do you have any issues working alongside certain races or creature types?'

'Not that I can think of.'

'Good.  We prize tolerance at the Lair.  If you had a complaint about conditions, or were uncomfortable with a job you were assigned, what would you do?'

'Probably talk to my immediate superior about them.'

'Would you be comfortable working on the Overworld at any time?'

'If I had to, but preferably not a lot'¦ I hear all sorts of crazy stuff goes on up there.  Supposed to be dangerous.'

'Okay, I'll put down '˜prefers subterranean tasks.'  Have any references for us?'

'Uh, Alastor the tiefling told me I'd be a good fit here'¦'

'Oh, I know Alastor.  Good guy, did some freelance work for us for awhile.  One more question.'  He pauses.  'Have you ever dealt with adventurers before?'

'Mhm.'

'Care to elaborate?'

'Sure.  They brutally massacred my family and friends, and looted everything.  I was struck unconscious, woke up, and got away before they could kill me too.'

'Massacre, massacre '" does that have two '˜S's?  I always forget.  Whatever.  Alright, now that that's out of the way I need to administer a quick practice test.  Pretty standard fighting exam, just makes sure you can outfight a zombie of equivalent size, cuz otherwise it'd be smarter and frankly more cost-effective in the long run just to kill you now and animate your corpse.'  He pulls back a scrap of hide that had previously obscured a cage.  Inside a small, hunched figure that looks like it might once have been a gnome peers at you with glowing red eyes and moans.  'Svirfneblin zombie,' Grognash explains.  'Okay, you ready?'

Kraashgar tenses and readies his javelin.

'Okay, ready.'

The zombie is released and shambles towards the goblin, gnashing its half-rotten teeth.  A couple of passersby glance over at the thing but pay it little attention.  Business as usual Below'¦

Kraashgar hurls his javelin but only grazes the zombie.  He draws his knife even as the creature swipes at him with jagged nails, scratching him badly.  They tousle, trading blows, Kraashgar lopping off one of the zombie's hands, while the undead gnome fastens its teeth on his leg and gnaws at him.  In tremendous pain Kraashgar kicks the zombie off him and tumbles to one side, snatching up his javelin.  He prods the zombie and skewers it through the belly, but the gnome refuses to die.  It grabs hold of the javelin and pulls itself forward, clawing the air with its remaining hand and striking our hero again!  Gritting his teeth Kraashgar wrenches his javelin free and plunges it again into the zombie's putrid flesh, this time straight into the creature's brains!  The gnome collapses into a heap, the arcane energy that had animated it dissipating.

'Whew!  That was a close one.  Can't say these are the highest scores I've ever seen, but everything else looks okay'¦ well, I'm going to pass you on to my fellow recruitment officer, fellow called Veth.  He's going to take you up to the Lair.  You'll find him at the Temple of Zog-Yahn the Ur-Dragon right now, picking up some supplies.  You can't miss him, the short purple guy.  Barghest.  Give him this paperwork '" ' he hands you a vellum scroll ' '" and he'll take you back to the Lair.  I think you're the only new recruit right now, so it's just going to be you and him.'  He extends a massive green hand.  'Good to have you on the team.'[/ic]

[LD]

Ah, undead gnome. Cute.
-
I am surprised that the recruiting is so organized and that the orc is so well-spoken. I thought they had a penalty to intelligence?

[Steerpike]

[ooc]Your average orc has 9 intelligence, so they'er not slobbering morons; Grognash was probably selected as recruiter for a slightly above average intelligence (perhaps 11 or 12).  What I really wanted was to add a slightly ironic tinge to the whole process, so that the interview felt a lot like a modern job interview, just about dungeon guarding instead of retail or whatever.  Swap a few words around from the above and you'd practcially have my first job interview at Staples...

That zombie though, oh boy... only CR 1/4, but he nearly slaughtered the PC.  Admittedly the player still had plenty of Con damage from the stirges, but still, he nearly got taken apart after a few unlucky rolls on his part and some lucky ones by the zombie.  that d12 undead hit die means a lot at low levels.[/ooc]

[Steerpike]

[ic=Episode 10: The Commute]Kraashgar takes the paperwork from Grognash and heads to Gris-Gris Street to the large troglodyte temple there.  He notices a large albino pack-lizard tethered outside.  Inside the temple, trog priests administer to various reptilian idols while kobolds and other reptilian folk lie in prostrate prayer or otherwise abase themselves.  Kraashgar spot Veth almost immediately: a creature like an oversized goblin, nearly orc height, with reddish-blue skin and a shaggy mane of hair.  He heads up to Veth ands introduces himself, handing the barghest his papers.

'Oh, a new recruit.  Alright, everything seems to be in order'¦ let me just finish up here and we'll get going.  I've been going stir crazy in this town'¦ I suppose Grognash told you about the raid last week?'
'He didn't mention it, actually.'

'No?  Well, the Lair got hit by some Gearhead Clan dwarves.  Technically the dungeon used to belong to them, like a century ago or something, and they keep bothering us about relics and their proud dwarven heritage and mining rights and blah blah blah.  I don't know why they're bugging us about it, it's the flayers took the damn place over, we just rent the top five levels.  Anyway, long story short, we lost about twenty guys, and the Boss is way too cheap to get them raised, so we're pretty desperate for recruits.  Now just sit tight, I'll just be a minute.'

The barghest appears to be purchasing healing supplies from the clerics here.  He notices that Kraashgar is badly wounded and offers him a potion '" 'We get a special discount for bulk orders, they crank this stuff out like you wouldn't believe' '" and the two head outside.

After a couple of tries Kraashgar manages to mount the pack-lizard.  This just isn't my day he thinks to himself.

'What did you say your name was?

'Kraashgar.'

Okay, Kraashgar, let's get out of this pisshole'¦ smells like trogs.'  The barghest wrinkles his nose in distaste and lashes the pack-lizard.  The lizard bears them out of Ool-Nacha and down one of the old roads, back to Mazinkor's Shaft.  They begin their climb up the shaft's sloping ramp, heading towards some higher level.

Time passes, indeterminate, as they make a slow, crawling ascent.  The lizard and Veth are untiring.  The barghest advises Kraashgar to get some sleep.

He awakes at the mouth of a cave, from which an orange light emanates vaguely.  Veth hands the goblin a small package that glows green from within and a flask of liquid.

'Here, it'll be awhile till we eat again.'

After a brief meal of fungi, they press on into the caves.

'Now careful, here,' Veth warns.  'These tunnels are infested with magmins, and they can be a real pain.  Plus there's bloody lava all over, so watch your step.' They dismount - the ceiling is too low to ride properly.

They cross a small stream of magma '" Veth and the lizard making the jump easily, Kraashgar barely scrambling up the far bank, after timing a jump on a fragment of floating rock '" before they encounter the magmins, elemental creatures like oversized infants, with too-large heads and pudgy limbs, flesh of black earth fissured with veins of magma.  Steam issues of their little bodies, and they snap something in a language that sounds like crackling flames.

'Damn, I'd hoped to avoid this crap,' Veth curses.  As the magmins scuttle towards them he snarls a quickened spell or two, surrounding them both with an aura of eldritch light that flares, then dissipates.  'There, we'll resist their fire attacks now,' he explains, while readying his shortbow.  He looses a shaft at the nearest magmin, but the arrowhead turns to molten slag as it strikes, and the shaft bursts into flames.  'Yeah, they do that sometimes.  Okay, spot of training.  Help me kill these things, okay?'

He hands the shortbow to Kraashgar and howls.  His skin ripples with subcutaneous motion and his hair bristles.  Suddenly a worg stands in pace of the purplish goblin-creature that had been there before.

The fight is swift, but dangerous: Kraashgar shooting arrows at the magmins while Veth savages them with his teeth, with a magma stream bubbling beside the path.  They kill one of the creatures and wound the others, which slink back into the magma, but Kraashgar's javelin is incinerated in the process.

'Don't worry, we'll arm you properly once we get to the Lair,' Veth assures our hero, after polymorphing back into his original form.  'Come on, we're almost to the lift.'[/ic] [ooc]Because of Veth's help these CR 3 magmins were much easier than a CR 1/4 small zombie; I gave the barghest some ranger levels which gives him access to Resist Elements, plus the magmins, as stated in the MM, tend to flee when wounded, whereas the zombie continuously hammers away.  The weapon combustion was the biggest problem, but even then weapons get through about half the time, and magmin AC is quite poor (14).[/ooc]

[Steerpike]

[ic=Episode 11: Meet the Boss]Kraashgar and Veth the barghest approach what looks like a precipice in the darkness.  The magma stream flows across the lip of this vast rift, out into the emptiness beyond.  Perched on the very edge of the precipice is a small iron gondola or lift, strung up to cables overhead that snake away between stalactites along the ceiling.  A pair of grimlocks guards the lift, accompanied by a chained, slavering creature with a bird-like visage and scything blades for hands.

Veth presents some sort of document to the grimlocks.  They run their fingers over the Braille on the scroll and hiss something in a language you don't understand.

'Alright, we're cleared,' Veth says.  'Let's go.'  He motions that Kraashgar follow him onto the lift.

One of the grimlocks throws a lever and the lift clanks into sudden motion, swaying back and forth.  Below, bright orange light emanates from the floor of the rift: a huge lake of molten rock, glowing from out of the darkness, fed by the trickle over the precipice and others like it.  Soon the lift swings past the lake and through a small tunnel.  It moves quite fast, cables whining and sparking as they whiz through the caverns.  The tunnel opens, and Kraashgar gazes upon another huge cave that glistens here and there with silvery veins.  They are far above the cavern floor, which is well beyond the limits of his Darkvision.

'We're entering the old mines of the Gearhead Clan,' Veth explains.  'There's iron down here, and copper, and Mithril as well.'  He points to something in the darkness.  'See that?'  Kraashgar peers down into the gloom and notes a sinuous, coiled shape rear up from the darkness before disappearing.

'Purple worms.  The flayers that run the mines these days have had no end of problems with those things.  Lost dozens of slaves, machines get smashed'¦' He trails off as they clank to a halt on a narrow balcony, at the far wall of the cavern; a square opening hewn in the cliff is the only entrance.

'How did they string those cables up through the cavern?'  Kraashgar asks.

'Flight spells and enchanted discs, I think,' Veth says.  He leads the goblin through the doorway and into a network of mine-tunnel hewn out of the rock, some of them glistening with glimmers of ore.  Kraashgar spot several gray-skinned grimlocks and a few other humanoids laboring down the tunnels, all of them bound with glyph-etched slave collars.  Once he thinks he catches a of glimpse a mind flayer, levitating a few inches from the ground and directing some slaves towards a nearby tunnel with silent telepathy, while a hound-like creature with a face like a massive brain pads about its hovering feet.

'Illithids run the Mithral Mines,' Veth says.  'Drove the dwarves out over a century ago.  They still want to reclaim them, but they rarely get very far before someone stops them.  Course, our real problem these days is usually surface adventurers.  Armed to the teeth, each one of them powerful as a small army.  Nearly cleaned out the top level last time'¦'

They approach a carven doorway hewn into the rock and guarded by yet more grimlocks, and pass through into a large cylindrical shaft that rises up into darkness.  Chains are anchored to the floor and run up the walls into the black, and there's some kind of winch or lever system in the floor to one side.  Veth struts up to the lever and pulls it partially forwards.  There's a sudden grind of gears and the floor begins to quake.  The walls begin to move '" they are ascending the shaft via a mechanical elevator, the chains clanking and clattering, hidden cogs and pulleys working to push you upwards.  At first the walls are of hewn black basalt, then a duller brown rock.  They pass what look like doors as you ascend.

'Obraxus '" your new boss '" runs the top five levels,' Veth tells the new recruit.  'Bottom level mines are flayer territory, and floors six through eight are owned by a Beholder called Chalsezce the Mad.  He can be a difficult neighbor to live with, but mostly we stay out of each other's way.'

The walls have turned to dressed grayish stone.  The elevator grinds to a halt beneath a domed ceiling.

'This is level five, counting from the top level,' Veth explains.  'Alright, time to meet the boss.'  He fits a huge key in the lock to the double doors and turns.  There's a hiss of gears and the doors grind open, revealing a huge, pillared hall beyond.  Kraashgar and his barghest guide enter the hall.  Kraashgar notes that the massive pillars are carved in the semblance of gargantuan dwarven warriors.  All have been badly defaced and scrawled with graffiti, and some have even collapsed.  Some torches gutter here and there, illuminating arched doorways on every wall.

Dwarfed by the enormity of the main hall are a pair of guards, a bulky orc in leather armor and a hunched, hulking ogre with a rust-spotted greataxe.

'Hey, Veth,' the orc grunts.  'New recruit?'

'Yeah, some gobbo from the middle caverns.  Picked him up in Ool-Nacha.  Comes recommended.  Boss home?'

'Yeah, he just came back from a raid.  Pay-day soon.'

'Better be,' Veth growls.  'Anyway, I'm going to bring the new guy up.'

'See you later.'

They traverse a network of rooms, with Veth advising Kraashgar of various passwords and how to avoid the lower level traps (such as an illusory floor, or a glyph of warding above a doorway).  They move up two levels and through some more corridors, through a hall with many statues (from a medusa who once lived in the dungeon, according to Veth) and past a room with a twisted, warped-looking plant of some kind '" the dungeon is huge.  It will take time for Kraashgar to get to know his way around the place.  They come to set of double doors guarded by a large gnoll, who lets them in.

In the center of the chamber beyond is a large dais that supports some kind of translucent, arcane illusion that looks like a three-dimensional ma of some sort.  A massively muscular, horned creature like a particularly large ogre with light blue skin and black eyes looms over the map broodingly, speaking in low tones with a wiry female drow.  The ogre mage radiates power and authority.

'Hey, Boss,' Veth says.  'Brought a new recruit.'

'Name's Kraashgar,' Kraashgar says boldly.

'Uh, yeah,' Veth continues.  'Picked him up in Ool-Nacha.  Thought you'd better meet him.'

The ogre mage turns and fixes Kraashgar with his intense, scrutinizing stare.  His pupils are white.  He looks back towards Veth.

'He all you could find?'

'Yeah, not many takers down there.  Hopefully Grognash will find some more guys soon.'

'Fine.  We need all the help we can right now.  Give him the tour and then dump him with Skelus.  We need our traps reset, and fast.  Godsdamn dwarves set everything off, there's a huge mess on level one, and some idiot forgot a password and got polymorphed from a glyph.  I think the dwarves are regrouping, so we need to be ready.'

He looks back at our hero again, fixing him with those eerie black eyes.

'Welcome to my Lair, Kraashgar.  I hope you won't disappoint me.'[/ic][ooc]Obraxus would, of course, have to be voiced by Tim Curry (link). [/ooc]

[Loch Belthadd]

hmmm...episode 11 is missing...or maybe 12 is misnamed...

[Steerpike]

[ooc]Thanks, Loch.  Episode 12 was misnamed - I was originally going to split The Commute into two parts, but Kraashgar did very little in The Commute Part Two (it was supposed to have a kind of Half-life Tram Ride vibe - a little bit railroady, I admit, but kind of fun, and in the next episode the player gets a more hands-on approach).

What does everyone think so far?  Any suggestions for my DMing?  For quest/task ideas?  I have one more episode to put put, just needs illustration.[/ooc]

[Steerpike]

[ic=Episode 12: Maintenance]After meeting his new boss, Obraxus the ogre mage, Kraashgar is ushered from the map room to the third level armory, where he is met by a scrawny kobold weapon master, Kurlok.

'Okay new guy,' Kurlok snaps.  'You can sign out one weapon and one suit of armor.  Now that's not your property, it's the Boss's, so you break something or lose something, it's coming out of your paycheck, got it?'

'Alright, shouldn't be an issue.'  Kraashgar selects a morningstar and a suit of studded leather armor from the trove and signs them out.

'Okay, then, I'm going to drop you off at Skelus' workshop,' Veth tells our hero.  'I think he's got some jobs for you.'

The barghest brings Kraashgar up a level and down a set of passages to a vaulted chamber with walls plastered with blueprints of every variety.  Large benches and tables full of mechanical and alchemical devices dominate the room: gears and springs and coils, pipes and pumps, valves, small models, glow-globes, vials of liquid, beakers, and dozens of tools.  Another kobold scurries about the room, followed by a goblin assistant.  He wears enormous goggles, heavy black gloves, and a stained apron, and is quite occupied peering obsessively into decanters of silvery liquid and muttering to himself while his assistant proffers books or tools.

'Skelus, this is Kraashgar, a new hire.  He doesn't know his way around the dungeon yet.'

'Sure, whatever,' the kobold says irritably, not looking up from his work.  Veth grins toothily, shrugs, and leaves.  After a moment, Skelus looks up from some device he'd been fiddling with.

'Alright, then, don't just stand there.  The first level traps need to be reset.  Here, you'll need this.'  He grabs an ornate wand and shoves it in Kraashgar's face.  'That's a Wand of Detect Magic.  It's simple to use, just press the button on the side'¦ that'll let you reveal arcane marks on certain flagstones.  Push those flagstones, and you'll open a door to one of our maintenance tunnels.  Now I'll need you to reset the crushing-room trap first.  And clean it out, will you?  It starts to smell if you don't.  After that, reset the first level pit traps and the rock-and-a-sharp-place trap.'

'How do I get to the first level?'

'Ugh, I don't believe this.  Alright.  We're on the third floor sublevel.  You have to leave this workshop, take a left, head down the stairs, then go straight, ignoring the side passages, up two flights of steps to level two.  From there you go through the second level forehall and up the main passage to the central hall, near the mess hall.  Take a left up the stairs from the central hall to the guard-room, then a right up the stairs to level one.    The crushing-room trap is down the passage directly opposite the first floor guard-room where you'll come out.  Got that?'

'Uh, I think so.'

'Well, get on with you, we've got no idea when those damn adventurers or Zog knows that clan of bloody dwarves will be back'¦'

Kraashgar heads out of the trapsmith's workshop and makes his way to the crushing room trap, getting lost only once along the way.  He opens the door to the crushing room and finds a blank wall in front of him, with a seam down the center..  He activates the wand he was given and finds a nearby arcane mark, pushes the flagstone it was graven on, enters the passage behind the secret door, and swiftly locates the console for the crushing room; a peephole shows the current state of the chamber.

There are three levers.  Kraashgar experiments; the first lever separates the two halves of the crushing room (floor and ceiling); the second lever doesn't appear to do anything at all, and the third lever lowers only the ceiling portion of the trap, so that there is still space to enter the room (though an orc would need to duck).  Kraashgar enters the chamber but hears a sudden click '" the floor is now rising as well!  He jumps back through the door and scurries back to the console.  He resets the trap, lowers the ceiling, and now pulls the second lever.  When he returns to the trapped room, the floor doesn't rise '" the second lever is a lock, a safety mechanism.

Something that might once have been a gnome is now a sticky red smear on the floor and ceiling.  Kraashgar sweeps away the body parts and, after searching the surrounding chambers, locates a mop and bucket.  After stumbling into the foundry room (tended by a salamander and his two mephit assistants) and a couple of guardrooms '" one in which a pair of goblins and a troglodyte bet on a fight between a pair of live, oversized spiders '" Kraashgar finds a fountain to fill the bucket, and sets about cleaning the room.  On the advice of a goblin guard he deposits the larger chunks of gore in the bucket of bloody water and sloshes the vile mixture into the cage of the level one guards' pet carrion crawler, which munches on them gratefully.

He resets the trap and locks it, then moves through the room to the corridor with the pit traps, following a similar process to the crushing room trap '" find the secret door, activate the console, reset the trap.  He also has to replace tripwires that function as red herrings '" the trip wires don't activate anything, but anyone jumping over one will jump straight onto the pressure plate for a pit trap.

Now, onto the rock-and-a-sharp-place trap.[/ic]

[LD]

He also has to replace tripwires that function as red herrings '" the trip wires don't activate anything, but anyone jumping over one will jump straight onto the pressure plate for a pit trap.

Now that sounds like a good grimtooth trap. By the way, will Grimtooth be having a cameo? His book is excellent.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/2567537/Grimtooths-Traps
http://www.amazon.com/Grimtooths-Dungeons-Dragons-Fantasy-Roleplaying/dp/1588461394

It seems very bureaucratic here. I am definitely getting the Dungeon Keeper vibe.

You may also enjoy playing the flash game www.kongregate.com/games/kendric/dungeon-defender Dungeon Defender.

I really enjoyed the Magmin portrait.

Will we see any Mount Zogon influences? (By 'Tony', the same artist who did the more famous Zogonia... but better.)

[Steerpike]

[ooc]Hadn't seen Grimtooth before, but thanks for the links!  I'll steal some of thsoe for another level.

A Mount Zogon sort of party might make an appearance at some point.

Cool game too - and the bureaucracy is quite intentional.  The whole place is supposed to feel sort of like a hybrid of a typical DnD dungeon and an office or similar workplace; I really want that watercooler/mondays/cube-farm sort of feel to bits of it.  The familiar made strange and the strange familiar; sort of the essence of weird, even if the world is pretty typical.

Dungeon Keeper's a big influence, especially the Boss (who's practically a blue version of the mentor from DK2, though maybe a bit less relentlessly bloodthirsty; I was also thinking about Shere Khan from Talespin...).[/ooc]

[Steerpike]

[ic=Episode 13: Sidetracked]Kraashgar heads up through the first level of the dungeon and makes his way to the rock-and-a-sharp-place trap.  A huge block '" part of the trap '" blocks the corridor.  Kraashgar attempts to use the Wand of Detect Magic he'd been given, but it doesn't appear to be working '" he doesn't detect any magic, and so can't locate the arcane mark that indicates the right stone to depress.  He tries a few more locations, then returns to the pit traps.  He tries the wand by the secret door he's used before '" it doesn't work.  The wand is out of charges.  Since he left the pit traps locked, he simply jumps over the tripwires, returns to the crushing-room trap, finds the secret door to the right of the entrance by trial and error (since he's used this one before, he knows roughly where to search), and returns to the trapsmith's workshop.

'You finished resetting those traps?'  The kobold asks.  'Took you long enough'¦'

'Not quite yet.  This wand is out of charges.'

'What?  Take it to Thollom on level three.  He can recharge it for you.  His laboratory is just down from the cell block.'

'Okay.'  Kraashgar saw the cellblock once, taking a wrong turn.  He makes his awy through the dungeon corridors best he can, trying to remember landmarks '" some Draconic graffiti, a rotten tapestry, a mound of rubble, runic engravings.  Slowly he is getting used to navigating the labyrinth.

Finally he arrives at the laboratory: a long hall full of esoteric machinery, dominated by large cylindrical tubes of glass, each filled with a phosphorescent-green, alchemical liquid in which a different creature is suspended.  Consoles graven with odd runes are set before the tubes, one of which a reptilian creature with grayish skin, red robes, and a complex-looking mechanical staff tinkers with, while a weird-looking beast like a bipedal blue lizard follows him around, snuffling and snapping its tri-fold jaw.  Arched doorways reveal some side-rooms to the main laboratory, one of them with a blood-stained throne or chair, another filled with books and occult alchemical equipment.

The tubes contain some truly bizarre creatures: a beast like a manta ray crossed with a bat, a coiled, serpentine worm with many legs, a head with leathery wings for ears, a strange humanoid thing with four arms, a single foot, and six beady eyes, and a four-armed, red-scaled horror with insectile mandibles, to name a few.  There's also a large figure that looks pieced together out of oddments of flesh, mostly drow and orc, standing statue-like in one corner.

'Uh, sir?'  Kraashgar asks.  'I'm Kraashgar, the new minion.  I need this wand recharged.'

'Recharged?'  The Slaad turns.  'Hmn, well.  One thing you'll learn in this place, little one, is the principle of quid pro quo.  You do me a little favor, I'll do you one in return, yes?'

'Uh, okay, I guess.'

'Good.  Well, little one, here's the problem.  One of my, ah, projects has rather unceremoniously flown the coop, as it were.  Naughty little fellow wriggled out of his fetters while I was working on him and got into the ventilation system.

'Now, fortunately there's no way for him to have left the Lair: there are iron grills on all the outer exits.  So I know he's somewhere in the dungeon, and the kitchen staff have reported a couple of thefts from the pantry, so he can't have starved to death.  Probably just biding his time and hoping to make a break for it, the cheeky little thing.

'Anyway, I need you to wriggle on into the ventilation tunnels and see if you can't track him down.  He's not very big mind you, just a wee little thing, quite a bit smaller than you.  You can use this' '" here the Slaad presents a large syringe filled with a black liquid to our hero '" 'To knock him out.  Don't kill him mind you!  He's very valuable.  Oh, and you'll also need these. ' Here the creature gives Kraashgar a pair of goggles with glyph-etched lenses.  'The clever little rotter can turn himself invisible, but those'll let you see him just fine.

'The vent is over there, in that corner.  Now be careful!  He stole a scalpel on his way out, one of my sharpest, and he's bound to have a bit of pluck left in him, especially if cornered!  You come back with him, though, and I'd be happy to recharge that wand for you.  Sound fair?'

'Yeah, I'll be back as soon as I catch it.  What does it look like?'

'You'll know it when you see it.'[/ic]

[LordVreeg]

1 of my pc's has 3 traps in grimtooths.