Teleleli. Or, The City Never Dies; It Just Smells That Way.

[Age of Fable]

I've started writing an RPG supplement, based largely on my online game, and intended for self-publication.

Here's a link to my notes, for feedback: http://www.apolitical.info/private/teleleli

Thanks,
James.

[Mason]

Hey great game!

[LD]

Ah, I remember that game- it was fun. I didn't realize the connection till I read:

The Courage-Seller

Phoedocia is a hideous creature of unknown type, somewhat resembling a cross between a skeleton and a grasshopper (although the size of a man).

She is the only example of her kind, other than her cousin (see The Memory-Buyer below).

The two creatures' voices are like that of women, but supremely calm in all situations.

She has a shop where she buys and sells courage. It is extracted from sellers in the blood, which Phoedocia sucks out of the arm of the seller and spits into a pot. This pot grows flowers, which when eaten grant courage to buyers.

The courage of women is particularly intoxicating, and the buyer should take care, lest they develop a taste that they cannot control, and become a heroine addict.

Which was one of the most interesting parts about the online game.

[SA]

Heroine addicts? Hah!

Anti-Dwarves? Hah!

This, my friend, is ridiculous. (and also very disturbing)

I salute you.

EDIT: my favourite part of the game is when your character dies and on the right hand side you can see that his stats are now empty. That's somehow very chilling.

[Age of Fable]

Thanks everyone. I've added some new notes to it.

Anyone have more detailed feedback?

PS #39, what's the origin of the fantasy quote in your signature?

[SA]

The origin? I guess my own irritation.

I'll give some feedback once I've digested all the strangeness you've just supplied.

[LordVreeg]

Dude, How'd I miss you being here?  Now you know I've been to busy.  I'll do some more playesting.

[SA]

Okay, no dense feedback here, just my gut response to the material: you have some lovely, endearingly well thought out stuff here like the calendar, weather, materials, weapons, all conveyed in such a way that they contribute to the life of the setting.

Your humour is great, and seems most evocative when it is quirky, nudge-and-wink humour rather than the more overtly irreverent fourth-wall mashing.

Which is not to say that any of your stuff is dull or unfunny, only that there is a pretty kick-arse setting in the making that is unfortunately diluted by an inconsistent tone.

I'd give a more solid review at this point but the constant shifting from the compellingly strange to the overtly, consciously humorous prevents me from getting a solid impression.

EDIT:

To put it another way, if there were no jokes in it all all, I would absolutely love this setting. If it was totally, unswervingly satirical and ridiculous, I would love it then, too. Right now it's in a strange in-between place, and I'm not sure.

[Age of Fable]

Can you give some examples of bits that are too overtly humourous?

[SA]

Off the top of my head: Grot bushes, the names of the inns, grumpy old ones, anti-dwarves, The Isle of Sour Grapes, and Badum-Tish.

The only reason I can recall them straight away is because I found them hilarious. That's both commendable and very distracting, especially when there are other fantastic elements (plenty, in fact) that make me go "why didn't I think of that?"

[Steerpike]

Seven questions and some (I hope) constructive criticism.

1) What does a demon of taste look like?

2) The Isle of Short Trees '" a capitalist critique or just a cool, absurd sort of place?

3) The Labyrinth of Eyasa reminds me of the novel House of Leaves.  Do beings from the other worlds occasionally launch expeditions into Teleleli's?

4) Speaking of the world more generally, does the planet/plane have a name (I might have missed this)?

5) What are you seeing as the likely playable races in this setting?

6) Are Hungry Houses mobile?  Their cousins, the Wandering Ruins, seem to imply they are.  How does this work?  What do these creatures look like when not in House/Ruin form?

7) About the Isle of Chains'¦ what does it mean that the 'custom' declares that the seventh child shall be neither male nor female?  Are they mutilated after birth, or is every seventh child a biological hermaphrodite?

In general, this is an interesting and extremely colourful world.  Occasionally some elements seem like they might be difficult to integrate into a role-playing experience, but an imaginative/creative DM could probably overcome any difficulties.

While I get a very vivid 'feel' for atmosphere of the city of Teleleli I don't get as much of a sense of its geography or politics (though maybe I missed this '" there is a lot of information!).  How is the city divided up?  Is there a big gap between rich and poor?  Is there a caste structure, or is class mobility possible?  Is Teleleli a theocracy?  A monarchy?  Something stranger?

The numerous allusions to diving are intriguing'¦ seeing more of the underwater world would be great.

Overall this is an amazingly detailed and extremely imaginative world - great job!

[Mason]

3) The Labyrinth of Eyasa reminds me of the novel House of Leaves.  

  oh....my.....god...
  I forgot about that book...

[Age of Fable]

1) What does a demon of taste look like?

Haven't put that up yet - maybe a giant tongue?

3) The Labyrinth of Eyasa reminds me of the novel House of Leaves.  Do beings from the other worlds occasionally launch expeditions into Teleleli's?

5) What are you seeing as the likely playable races in this setting?[/quote]7) About the Isle of Chains'¦ what does it mean that the 'custom' declares that the seventh child shall be neither male nor female?  Are they mutilated after birth, or is every seventh child a biological hermaphrodite?[/quote]While I get a very vivid 'feel' for atmosphere of the city of Teleleli I don't get as much of a sense of its geography or politics (though maybe I missed this '" there is a lot of information!).  How is the city divided up?  Is there a big gap between rich and poor?  Is there a caste structure, or is class mobility possible?  Is Teleleli a theocracy?  A monarchy?  Something stranger?[/quote]Overall this is an amazingly detailed and extremely imaginative world - great job![/quote]

Thanks! And thanks for your feedback.

[Age of Fable]

Off the top of my head: Grot bushes, the names of the inns, grumpy old ones, anti-dwarves, The Isle of Sour Grapes, and Badum-Tish.

The only reason I can recall them straight away is because I found them hilarious. That's both commendable and very distracting, especially when there are other fantastic elements (plenty, in fact) that make me go "why didn't I think of that?"

Thanks. I'm still in the stage of transferring my notes to the webpage, so I'm going to leave these bits up there for now, with the intention of returning to this once I've uploaded everything - it looks like I'm going to easily go over my intended word count, so there'll be editing down to do.

[Steerpike]

[blockquote=Age of Fable]Which ones in particular?[/blockquote]Some of the whackier stuff that #39/Salacious Angel mentioned, or some of the stranger locations outside of Teleleli (for example, the Halls of Ulfar).  I do think that all of those elements could be integrated and GMed correctly, but some of them would be challenging.  That's not necessarily a bad thing, though.  One of my latest projects is riddled with what I'd expect would be similarly difficult-to-GM locations (like a town where everyone speaks in rhymes).