Introducing a New Person to Gaming

[Ninja D!]

Upon her request, I will be introducing my girlfriend to gaming. She has played several RPG video games but has no other applicable experience. What are some basic things that would be good to keep in mind while doing this? What are the important things to impart to her? Any other general advice on this subject would be welcome.

The system I will be teaching her first is Dungeons and Dragons 4th edition. It isn't my favorite but I chose it because it has the most sources of advice / tools, is the most common / accessible, and, to be perfectly honest, is so simple a child could probably learn it with much trouble. Any advice on teaching this system would also be great.

Thanks.

[Steerpike]

My advice would be to go easy on the crunch and focus on the storytelling/social aspects of the game.  Even though designing a tactically sound character can be a big part of the fun, crunch is the most overwhelming and discouraging part of the game to new players, IMO.

[SDragon]

My advice would be to go easy on the crunch and focus on the storytelling/social aspects of the game.  Even though designing a tactically sound character can be a big part of the fun, crunch is the most overwhelming and discouraging part of the game to new players, IMO.

Agreed. Also, remember the permissive nature of RPGs. If she tries something that doesn't make sense, or seems silly, roll with it; Let her attack The Gazebo if she wants. If she asks a question, answer it, preferably with as little gamerspeak as possible, too.

The key here is simply to remember that she is new to the hobby. Don't hold the same expectations from her as you would with your usual group. She might not be used to jokes about, say, The Killer DM, or Unmentionably Overpowered Kobolds, so don't bother with them.

Personally, I enjoy working with new players every once in awhile. their only set expectation from the hobby tends to be that, as a game, it should be fun. They're right with that expectation. So make it fun, meet (or exceed!) their expectations, and you've pretty much got new players figured out.

Edit-- while I still stand by this post, I should mention that it can potentially open you to some crap that you wouldn't otherwise put up with. In this specific case, I wouldn't expect much (if any) difficulty, but if, say, one of your players tries to drag his girlfriend into a game of Vampire, don't be surprised if, say, she wants to name her character Bella. It might take a ton of patience, but roll with that sort of stuff whenever a new player tries to bring it up. Again, let the game be fun.

[Elemental_Elf]

Go easy on all the sex, booze and rock & roll as well. Especially, the first one. I've found women respond to sexual themes in very different ways than do typical D&D males. So ease her into it a bit before you hit the floor with the copious amounts of needless love making. Also, avoid Chain Mail bikinis xD

Also, make sure your D&D buds know it is NOT cool to treat the new player in any odd way... Well I mean... Geeky men have little experience with women, hell 90% of their conversations with 'women' probably occurred while talking to their male Dungeon Master... Little things can degenerate quickly, so just be wary if anyone acts strange.

Another good idea, is to cool it with evil acting PCs... That Goblin orphanage probably does need to be destroyed with the cleansing fires of Grün-Zerstörer, C/N God of Goblin Hating but... Those goblins are still younglings, so... Maybe it would be best just to avoid Goblin Orphanages in general... :)

More simply, definitely focus on story and the characters, especially her character. Let her do weird stuff because that's the most fun! Hell, my friend's first big action in his first session was to lock all of the PC's into a room filled with Kobolds, under the justification that 'his character was scared and panicked.' Granted it felt kind of prickish out of character but in character it was totally justifiable xD

I can only speak out of my own experience, so all of the above has happened to me.

[Steerpike]

My fiance suggests that you be open as possible to teaching and be patient.  She's had some ex-boyfriends who got frustrated too quickly teaching her d&d/magic (I've since taught her magic and she kicks my ass most of the time, so clearly they were just being impatient).

[Matt Larkin (author)]

Agreed. Also, remember the permissive nature of RPGs. If she tries something that doesn't make sense, or seems silly, roll with it; Let her attack The Gazebo if she wants. If she asks a question, answer it, preferably with as little gamerspeak as possible, too.

The key here is simply to remember that she is new to the hobby. Don't hold the same expectations from her as you would with your usual group. She might not be used to jokes about, say, The Killer DM, or Unmentionably Overpowered Kobolds, so don't bother with them.

Personally, I enjoy working with new players every once in awhile. their only set expectation from the hobby tends to be that, as a game, it should be fun. They're right with that expectation. So make it fun, meet (or exceed!) their expectations, and you've pretty much got new players figured out.

Very well said. Totally agree.

[St0nE]

and also... no leather thongs or +5 halter tops

[Matt Larkin (author)]

If your group typically plays in a way that makes it hard for newer players to join in, you might mention to them to tone it down a bit. A focus on the fluff and story is usually easier to focus on for new players. Desire to understand the crunch comes with time.

[Ninja D!]

First of all, thanks for the replies. I had posted this from my phone and gotten an error message so I thought it hadn't actually gone through.

Next, I suppose it is probably worth mentioning that I don't have a normal group. For the time being, there won't be anyone but the two of us involved.

Also, I'm not sure how well she'll take to roleplaying. The crunch might attract her more. While she insists it isn't true, that kind of thing seems to go right over her head in video games. I've noticed her skipping a lot of dialogue and exposition and then not knowing what the hell is going on later.

[sparkletwist]

I have little to offer other than to second the suggestions to eschew chainmail bikinis and +5 leather thongs. :D

[Superfluous Crow]

While keeping the crunch low is probably not a bad idea, I have found that some of my new players are more comfortable with staying close to rules and stereotypes; in essence, start out with the game part and save the "role" for later. Especially if she has some experince with computer RPG's.
While not exactly good roleplaying, it might ease her into it.

[Elemental_Elf]

While keeping the crunch low is probably not a bad idea, I have found that some of my new players are more comfortable with staying close to rules and stereotypes; in essence, start out with the game part and save the "role" for later. Especially if she has some experince with computer RPG's.
While not exactly good roleplaying, it might ease her into it.

I definitely agree with that. People respond better to: Thorak Headtaker, the Orc Barbarian than Triskeelae Woodslaara, Half-Vampire-Pixie multiclass Ninja-Paladin-Dragon Shaman. :)

[Steerpike]

[blockquote=sparkletwist]I have little to offer other than to second the suggestions to eschew chainmail bikinis and +5 leather thongs. [/blockquote]This is probably a good idea in general.

[sparkletwist]

Triskeelae Woodslaara, Half-Vampire-Pixie multiclass Ninja-Paladin-Dragon Shaman

This character sounds like the kind of thing that would invariably wander in all-too-frequently back when I used to do freeform roleplay on IRC...
(I don't do that any more. Big surprise!)

[Elemental_Elf]

Triskeelae Woodslaara, Half-Vampire-Pixie multiclass Ninja-Paladin-Dragon Shaman

This character sounds like the kind of thing that would invariably wander in all-too-frequently back when I used to do freeform roleplay on IRC...
(I don't do that any more. Big surprise!)

Free form Role playing will do that because everyone and their monkey's-uncle needs to be completely and utterly unique from every other being in the whole of the internet.