Did someone order a dire gerbil?

[Túrin]

What made you think of it?

[Xathan]

Half the membership was dutch, and one of them had an IC name close to Turin, if I remember right. Thought it seemed like an odd coincidence.

We really need to stop cluttering Meepos thread.

[Epic Meepo]

The dreaded Acid Lobster has been added to the second post, along with "sidebars" for lobster acid poison and white cabbage metal.  Up next, the el Viss from the Land of Grace.

Any more typos that need to be added to this little bestiary?

[Epic Meepo]

Note to self: add dangling dogs to the bestiary, after Poseidon's extraneous dangling dogs comment in the Tavern.

[Poseptune]

Actually the credit for that line has to goto Homer Simpson.

[Epic Meepo]

Ah...

But the credit for quoting the line goes to: Poseidon!

[Poseptune]

Yay! I'll have two beast in your bestiary :)

[Poseptune]

Ishmayl you were asking about the new stat block. Here is an article for you from the Wizards DnD page

[Epic Meepo]

In commemoration of the dire gerbil being added to my bestiary (the second post in this thread), I have renamed this thread "Did someone order a dire gerbil?"

I have also added the el Viss player character race, along with the el Viss Impersonator feat.

[Lmns Crn]

Finally! Where do I sign for this crate of gerbils?

[SDragon]

el Viss (CR 1/2)

el Viss, 1st-level warrior
CG Medium humanoid (el Viss)
Init +1; Senses Listen +0, Spot +0
Languages Common, el Viss

AC 15, touch 11, flat-footed 14 (+1 Dex, +3 studded leather, +1 light shield)
hp 4 (1 HD)
Immune sleep effects
Fort +2, Ref +1, Will +0

Speed 30 ft. (6 squares)
Melee longsword +2 (1d8+1/19-20)
Ranged longbow +3 (1d8/x3)
Base Atk +1; Grp +2

Abilities Str 13, Dex 13, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 11, Cha 10
SQ el Viss traits
Feats Weapon Focus (longbow)
Skills Jump +7, Perform (dance) +2, Perform (sing) +2, Tumble +5

el Viss Traits (Ex) An el Viss has the following traits:
-- +2 Charisma
-- Medium size.
-- Base land speed of 30 feet.
-- +2 racial bonus to Jump and Tumble checks: an el Viss has unique, swivelling hip bones that better allow him to shimmy, shake, and otherwise move about.
-- +2 racial bonus to Perform (sing) and Perform (dance) checks: el Viss culture emphasizes music and dance.
-- Favored class: Bard.
-- Languages: Common, el Viss; Bonus Languages: any (except secret languages).

Hailing from the mythical Land of Grace, the el Viss are a handsome, human-like race noted for their dark, mouldable hairdos. Young el Visses are thin and tend to dress conservatively. As el Visses age, they grow larger in girth and tend to wear gaundier costumes.

Strategies and Tactics[/color]
Though they are generally a peaceful people, el Visses have been known to volunteer in the military from time to time, and to study combat techniques under martial arts masters. The warriors of the el Viss race prefer disciplined tactics to mindless violence, while their bards are infamous for their ability to cause foes - and fans - to faint. An el Viss will never sneak away from combat, instead prefering to announce the fact that he has left the battlefield.

Sample Encounters[/color]
While many an el Viss travels alone, older el Visses sometime gather in groups of eight or more, in which case they dress alike and go about singing songs and otherwise entertaining others.
EL 5: A pack of eight el Visses is generally peaceful and jovial. They will not enter combat unless provoked.

Ecology[/color]
Young, thin el Visses live modest lives, but older, heavier el Visses tend to aspire to hoard luxury items. An el Viss can eat anything that an ordinary human can eat, though he is known for his trademark food item, the peanutbutter and bananna sandwich. The el Viss are known to have invented a curious new form of spectacles called "sunglasses."
Environment: The el Visses prefer temperate climes, where they build modest homes and country estates.
Typical Physical Characteristics: An el Viss resembles a handsome human, though his dark hair is amazingly shapeable. His height is generally the same as that of a human. His weight is equal to that of an elf, plus one additional pound for every year he has been alive. The el Viss lifespan is shorter than that of a human, instead matching that of a half-orc.

el Viss Lore[/color]
The el Viss race is universally famous, so much so that even unknowledgable characters in obscure corners of the world know that the el Viss people are a race of skilled singers and dancers noted for their swivelling hips and catchy tunes.

Society[/color]
Typical el Visses are fond of travelling from place to place, offering entertainment in the form of various musical performances. Such perfomances are the preferred form of entertainment for el Visses, though el Visses are also fond of acting, depite their lack of any special talents in that arena. Young el Visses are somewhat reserved, though el Viss culture encourages elder el Visses to seek out increasingly extravagant thrills.
Alignment An el Viss is usually chaotic good.

Typical Treasure[/color]
Most el Visses carry instruments of one sort or another. A masterwork instrument is usually an el Visses first major investment. Older el Visses are fond of collecting all manner of interesting treasures. Most of their treasures are kept in their lairs, though those items that are both flashy and wearable are brought with them.

Subraces[/color]
The above information describes the high el Viss, the most common variety. There are four other major subraces of el Viss, in addition to the half el Viss, who share enough el Viss characteristics to be included here.

Half el Viss
Also known as a presley, a half el Viss is descended from one el Viss parent and one human parent. A half el Viss looks similar to an ordinary el Viss, though his hairdo is not nearly as shapeable.
Half el Viss Traits (Ex): Half el Visses possess the following racial traits:
-- Medium size.
-- Base land speed of 30 feet.
-- +2 racial bonus to Jump and Tumble checks.
-- Bonus feat on 1st level.
-- Favored class: Any.
-- Languages: Common, el Viss; Bonus Languages: Any (except secret languages).

Dark el Viss
Found in the realms beneath the surface of the earth, the dreaded dark el Viss is a cruel and wicked mockery of other el Visses. Like other underground races, the dark el Viss is evil for no particular reason, and inexplicably manifests a random assortment of spell-like abilities that have little or nothing to do with its race's theme.
Dark el Viss Traits (Ex); These are in addition to the high el Viss traits, except where noted.
-- Darkvision out to 120 feet.
-- Light sensitivity: a dark el Viss is dazzled in bright light.
-- Spell-like abilities: for each dark el Viss, roll three times on the 1st-level arcane scroll table, rerolling any duplicate spells or spells with costly material components. The dark el Viss may use each of the resulting spells as a spell-like ability once per day (caster level equal to the dark el Viss' Hit Dice).
-- Languages: el Viss, Undercommon. Bonus Languages: Any (except secret languages).
-- Level adjustment +1

Gray el Viss
The noblest and most regal of all el Visses, grey el Visses are taller and grander than other el Visses. Unlike other el Visses, a grey el Viss has the weight and age categories of an ordinary human. He otherwise has the same traits as a high el Viss.

Wild el Viss
Particularly fond of congregating in packs, wild el Visses prefer wearing gaudy outfits even when young, and have invented something they call "sequins" to enhance their flashy garments. Packs of wild el Visses enjoy performing stunts to entertain crowds. They have the same traits as high el Visses.

Wood el Viss
The wood el Viss is a country boy who has an affinity for rural life and country living. Though not as fond of extravagances as other el Visses, a wood el Viss nonetheless has the same aptititudes. A wood el Viss has the same traits as a high el Viss.

el Viss Impersonator [General Feat]

You are adept at impersonating an el Viss.

Prerequisite: Any race other than el Viss.

Benefits: You gain a +2 competence bonus to Disguise checks when disguised as an el Viss and a +2 competence bonus on Perform (song) and Perform (dance) checks.

Coming Soon: crayongs, dangling dogs, and upgrade boars!

id probably use bard as the el viss favored class.....

and either wizard or monk as the favored class for the gaundi- the wizened sage of laudishly tacky behavior!

[Epic Meepo]

Yep. Second to last line in the el Viss traits you just quoted: "--Favored class: bard." :)

But yes, that line you bolded shall shortly be changed to read "gaudy" (not "gaundy"), as it should have from the start.

[SDragon]

and youll stat out the gaundy?

oh, and i (obviously) missed the favored class, there.....

[Epic Meepo]

Of course I'll stat out the gaundy. I'll add it to the to-do list.

[Epic Meepo]

This thread was just mentioned in the Tavern, so I give it a bump.

There's still quite a backlog, but I'll add "in-joe" to the list of typos needing game stats, per the request in the Tavern.