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Pimp your music

Started by Elven Doritos, October 12, 2006, 10:54:45 PM

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Elven Doritos

October 12, 2006, 10:54:45 PM Last Edit: October 13, 2006, 05:44:01 PM by bjz
Feel free to link to band webpages or whatever, so long as its actually your work!
Oh, how we danced and we swallowed the night
For it was all ripe for dreaming
Oh, how we danced away all of the lights
We've always been out of our minds
-Tom Waits, Rain Dogs

beejazz

#1
October 13, 2006, 12:27:07 AM
Wow.
Shout out to the CBG.
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QuoteI don't believe in it anyway.
What?
England.
Just a conspiracy of cartographers, then?

Elven Doritos

#2
October 13, 2006, 12:42:50 AM
Hell yeah.
Oh, how we danced and we swallowed the night
For it was all ripe for dreaming
Oh, how we danced away all of the lights
We've always been out of our minds
-Tom Waits, Rain Dogs

SA

#3
October 13, 2006, 01:05:10 AM
Weeell...

It's nice to put a voice to at least one of the names in the CBG.  I hate rap myself.  Primarily because, as one of the few African Americans in Brisbane, white teens often expect me to be "all gangsta and shit".  The thought of being likened to men who capitalise on drug idolatry and misogynism through the medium of "song", thus perpetuating the very condescension they seek to avet, is a sad thing indeed.  Makes me wanna get all up in a brother's face and start some shit, but then I remember that I ain't no ignorant nigga.

Ahem.  Well, on topic, if you want any real advice, work on your cadence.  There's a notable lack of consistency, and if there's one hallmark of a good rapper, it's repetition[/sarcasm].  Breathing exercises will help.  Also, a melody will assist in developing a more dynamic pace than what you're working with.

And don't forget assonance and alliteration!  Simply rhyming at the end of a sentence is FRIGHTFULLY dull.

Hehe, "Shout out to the CBG."  Honoured, I'm sure.

Elven Doritos

#4
October 13, 2006, 01:11:16 AM
Thanks for the pointers, SA, I'll be sure to keep them in mind.

I'm mostly doin' this for fun, but I do want to improve as an artist. I plan on doing mostly fantasy and "geeky" raps in the future, and I'm willing to collaborate with people on lyrics-- "Free Thought" really is just a stream of conciousness, inconsistant within itself because I've never rapped or recorded anything before.

:)
Oh, how we danced and we swallowed the night
For it was all ripe for dreaming
Oh, how we danced away all of the lights
We've always been out of our minds
-Tom Waits, Rain Dogs

beejazz

#5
October 13, 2006, 01:16:09 AM
SA hit the nail right on the head with the cadence thing. I could write some lyrics... though they'd invariably be either horribly depressing or wildly hilarious (I guess they aren't so invariable... I guess what I mean is that there's no middle ground).

Also, the "geek rap" thing has been done about a billion times on the internet. Go metal.

Also, rap has (or had) great potential as a medium. The shit they play today isn't rap though. It's hip-hop, as evidenced by it's frequent (way too fucking frequent) repetition of hooks and choruses, sometimes to the exclusion of verse. Sad, really.
Beejazz's Homebrew System
 Beejazz's Homebrew Discussion

QuoteI don't believe in it anyway.
What?
England.
Just a conspiracy of cartographers, then?

Epic Meepo

#6
October 13, 2006, 01:22:31 AM
Must not click link... must not... dag nammit!

It was amusing, though.

If you were wanting serious feedback, I'll have to reiterate a song coach cliche and say sing from deep in your chest. There were a few lines where your voice trailed off instead of following through all the way to the end, as though you were exhaling the last of your breath a word or two short.

Also, while some may disagree, the more successful songs in the rap genre are actually very sophisticated compositions, much more than just a back-beat and lyrics at a constant pace. It could definately benefit from a melody, as well as a more dymanic bridge to lead into chorus.
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SA

#7
October 13, 2006, 02:25:32 AM
Agreed. I suggest you check out Nas' debut album.  That thing is an undisputed gem.

Ishmayl-Retired

#8
October 13, 2006, 01:46:12 PM
OKay, here goes... this was some stuff my band recorded a couple years ago:

www.myspace.com/brandondaggerhart
!turtle Ishmayl, Overlord of the CBG

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For finite types, like human beings, getting the mind around the concept of infinity is tough going.  Apparently, the same is true for cows.

Elven Doritos

#9
October 13, 2006, 05:42:43 PM
It's been a long, good run, but unfortunately, it's time to lay aside the mic.

My rap days are done. I know that may be a sad statement for all of my fans out there, but it had to be done-- It's for the best, really.

....I really do suck at rap. I've decided to stick to my strengths.
Oh, how we danced and we swallowed the night
For it was all ripe for dreaming
Oh, how we danced away all of the lights
We've always been out of our minds
-Tom Waits, Rain Dogs

beejazz

#10
October 13, 2006, 06:20:30 PM
Aw... where'd the link go?
Beejazz's Homebrew System
 Beejazz's Homebrew Discussion

QuoteI don't believe in it anyway.
What?
England.
Just a conspiracy of cartographers, then?

Raelifin

#11
October 13, 2006, 07:02:07 PM
Awww. :(

At least you gave it your best.

CYMRO

#12
October 13, 2006, 10:53:51 PM
What happened to the link???

I finally got my audio working, and no music....

Elven Doritos

#13
October 13, 2006, 11:20:07 PM
Quote from: CYMROWhat happened to the link???

I finally got my audio working, and no music....

There was no music either way, just some poorly-done crap by me. :P

Go listen to Ishy's stuff. It's music.
Oh, how we danced and we swallowed the night
For it was all ripe for dreaming
Oh, how we danced away all of the lights
We've always been out of our minds
-Tom Waits, Rain Dogs

Elven Doritos

#14
March 17, 2007, 04:39:58 AM
I've decided to dabble with rap again. Be warned.

MC ARISTO: "What You Left Behind", with beat by Shadowville Productions. All vocals provided by yours truly. Still a work in progress.

My unrefined "crew" page, featuring a couple of friends and me.
Oh, how we danced and we swallowed the night
For it was all ripe for dreaming
Oh, how we danced away all of the lights
We've always been out of our minds
-Tom Waits, Rain Dogs
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