The Campaign Builder's Guild

Granted. You feel significantly more motivated to take stupid and dangerous risks, especially when there is nothing to be gained by it.

I wish all airplanes would be made 100% crash-proof.

Granted, however all the new safety equipment bogs the plane down. Even the largest planes can only fit a handful of people on at a time. Air travel becomes the purview of the rich and famous, while everyone else is forced to use buses, boats and trains.

I wish I had a tower shield!

Granted! you're not proficient with it.

I wish everyone would stop making cheap portal references.

Granted, they now make cheap Portal 2 references.

I wish Trolls and Humans could just get along!

Granted, but the trolls eat the humans in their idea of getting along

I wish for humans to never have existed and all prehistoric animals we killed out to live

Granted. History is rewritten so that said animals evolve to be us, and eventually one of those us-animals makes the very same wish, so that all the humans they killed would come back while the us-animals never existed and eventually one of the humans... Oh you get the idea.

I wish this beef tasted like real beef.

Granted however only 1 in a million cows have that beefy beef flavor, a single ounce of this pure meat costs a million dollars.

I wish I had a shark that could breath fire and shoot lasers out of his eyes!

Granted. The shark's natural eyes have been replaced with 1mW laser pointer implants, incidentally making the beast totally blind. And it can only use it's fire-breath ability when it's able to respirate, ie. underwater, where fire doesn't burn.

I wish for a new Star Trek TV series that is at least as good as ST:TNG was at it's best and that runs for at least 5 seasons.

Granted. Unfortunately, it's filmed in Ancient Hebrew. There is no dubbing.

I wish that one thing would go my way.

Granted, but each episode is 5 mseconds long and each season is 1 episode

I wish for kittehs

Granted but they are ferociously cute and you spend your whole life cuddling with them.

I wish it was 6 O'clock already!

granted, but it isn't six o clock ever again

i wish for a good night sleep

Granted however you never wake up.

I wish I could go fishing in a fantasy world

Granted! You wind up fishing on Athas's last sea, and you can't go back home afterwards. Good luck with the halflings....

I wish i could not wish this wish, wishfully .

Granted. A Terminator is sent back in time to terminate you before you make your wish.

I wish I could detect lies at will.