The Campaign Builder's Guild

Val'Doro

This is far from complete, but I have a busy day tomorrow.  This is probably starting to sound like a sci-fi rpg, but this is actually far back in the past.  In fact, as you may have noticed, I have barely talked about Val'Doro itself at all.  but still, it figures in because there is still conflict between elf and man...I'll cover that later, but for now I'd like to know that everything is coherent.  I'd be grateful for any help.

Quote from: amikaligulahttp://www.thecbg.org/e107_plugins/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?26299.last

This is far from complete, but I have a busy day tomorrow.  This is probably starting to sound like a sci-fi rpg, but this is actually far back in the past.  In fact, as you may have noticed, I have barely talked about Val'Doro itself at all.  but still, it figures in because there is still conflict between elf and man...I'll cover that later, but for now I'd like to know that everything is coherent.  I'd be grateful for any help.

First off, welcome to the CBG. I hope you like it here.

What you've written so far sounds very interesting. The idea of 'white holes' is quite creative.

But there are somethings you should watch out for in the future. See if you can fix the link in the quoted post - the http address should come right after the '[link=', and the name of the thread in between the tags. Also, try to put more spaces in between paragraphs in your setting post - it becomes much easier to read that way.

Other than that, I did not see very much incoherent about your post. It's good.

This setting sounds really interesting but I am a little confused on a couple points.
1. Are the races you describe as humans (Drakonians?) actual humans or are they the half-dragon variety (makes sense with the connection to sorcery).
2. Are the Drak our deities and demigods or are they another race?
3. I believe this is a prelude history, i.e.: where you left off is before the campaign takes place. If so, is your campaign a fantasy or sci-fi world (or a mix, hmmm ;) )

Sorry about the confusion but it sounds like it could turn out to be great if you expanded on a few things.

Welcome to the guild!  I like that you start with a history summary, so I look foward to seeing some details on the world.  The name Val'Doro sounds right in place in fantasy, and vaguely Spanish (thought I don't speak Spanish, so I've no idea if it actually sounds Spanish, it just reminds of it).

I've posted comments on each section as I read along (I find that easiest).  All are intended to be constructive.

QuoteOver a trillion years ago, a ship crash landed on the world now known as Val'Doro.

Far away and unknown to the Elves, was the sprawling Drakonion Empire, forged by the irrepressible humans and their Drak allies (I will talk more about the Drak later.)[/quote]There, those who were psionically gifted were ruthlessly hunted down by the Illithids, a psionically gifted alien race who could use their abilities to "stitch" through time, that is, go into another universe at point A, one where destination A and B were right next to each other, and pop back into the original universe at point B.
In fact, that is how the all powerful Drak were born, and with them, the knowledge of magic to mankind. The Drak can best be described as the opposite of black hole, a "white hole", if you will. For, while a black hole sucks everything in, a white whole expels things out. This includes a sentience and will which the Drak retains for itself. The Drakonions, and indeed the Illithids, learned how to control the power that the Drak expelled first through elaborate ritualistic means which easily developed into religions and later through "arcane" means.[/quote]The other way seemingly fits into the medieval concept of magic, seemingly pulling a fireball out of thin air, and thus uses the ancient term Mana. However, Mana is not that simple. there are two types, known as Sorcery and Wizardry. Sorcery is by far the more powerful variant of this type of magic, capable of killing the gods, it is said, but it can only be utilized by the few individuals who possess Drakonion bloodlines (When talking about blood, Drakonion refers specifically to those who have the essence of a Drak within them. The Drakonion empire gets its name from these extremely powerful human sorcerers, who founded the Empire and expanded it, but while the average human citizen was known as a Drakonion by other races and, later, themselves, they would not have had the raw talent that those descendants of Draks and humans would have had.)[/quote]Yet for everything Draks could do, they could not bridge together universes, and were indeed a product of those bridges. Only Psionicists could do this, and the only psionicists who knew how were the Illithids, a cruel parasitic race who depended on sentient races for hosts but were tolerated because they possessed the ultimate bargaining chip of interstellar commerce. thus, while the host body of a psionically gifted human would be a mouth-watering prize for an Illithid, they were a danger to their travel monopoly, and thus, too dangerous to exist in the eyes of the Illithid.[/quote]Dune[/i].  The first sentence is a little confusing.

I might consider re-ordering your history to put the stuff about Val'Doro at the end.  Chronological order may make it easier for the reader to follow.  At the end, say something like "and this ship crashed on Val'Doro.  X years have passed since then."

It's very creative.  Keep up the good work.

What Phoenix Knight said is what I pretty much would have said, so I will simply add this: I came up with a very similar set of origins myself. Interesting no?

http://www.thecbg.org/e107_plugins/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?10983.post

I echo the same, I was pressed for time this morning.

Quote from: Pheonix KnightHere, I really like the pseudo-science mythical connection. But, wouldn't something coming out of a white hole, assuming they exist, be a result of a time reversal, and thus be derived backwards from their cause, not fowards?

Wouldn't that depend on which way it entered?

@amikaligula: Would these "white holes" essentially be portals then? How does stuff go in if it only expels things?

I have begun editing my original post in the areas suggested by y'all, and I would like to thank y'all.  I cannot believe that I forgot to mention Frank Hurbert as an influence in my intro, but yes, indeed, I am a big fan of his.  In fact, as I will mention later on Val'Doro's main thread, which I will continue shortly, the Drakonions would have resorted back to medieval weapons since the  use of plasma shielding would have rendered more advanced weapons useless by the time of the Elven Conquest.  But that's just an excuse by me to keep the elves still in existence, as a plasma cannon would have made short work of them.

anyway, as there is some confusion abut the Drak, I'll try to fix it in the original thread, but there are some things which I'll have placing, as they seem almost tangential to me, but are vital nonetheless, so, as always, any suggestions you can offer will be appreciated.

Draks are not a race, they are not even proper lifeforms as they cannot reproduce.  They are sentient cosmic bodies.  as far as the time reversal, I'll get *cough**cough*duck"cough* out of that one by saying that the Drakonions have gone so far in the sciences and explaining everything, that now the only thing new is the unexplainable, the root of which are the Draks.

I'll get more into magic and religion later, but as to the question, are Draks our demigods and deities?  yes and no.  Religions have formed around Draks which ask them of power and if the Drak's will is powerful enough, it can take on a form in which to communicate.  these are known as Ae'Deis and drawing magic from them while giving something back in return (anything from allegiance to blood sacrifice) is known as dietic casting or divine magic.

I posted information about most of my races, but as you will notice, I need a little help equalizing them out.  Not so much the Or'Ke or drow, as they really will not be equals with the other races, and the elfkin might even be more advanced, but then again...well any suggestion will be appreciated.

Decided to pick this back up :)

Quote from: amikaligulaDecided to pick this back up :)

and we are pleased to have you back.