The Campaign Builder's Guild

Quote from: Phoenix KnightIt's high time I took a detailed look at this setting.

Intro
Very compelling.  I particularly like the "Can you fight the darkness?" line.  Very direct, and generally impossible, so it lends a kind of tragic desperation.  You mean to say, I believe:

Quotethe players are faced with a choice of fighting against the darkness or furthering spread

Thanks for taking the time to do a detailed review. I'll try and answer as best as I can...and fix typos cause lord knows am bad about those.

QuoteCreation Myth
Speaking of which, I don't believe there is such a thing as an "intercity carved rune" (I'm terrible with typos, too).  However, good use of a frame story for your story.

Intricately.[/b] Like I said...

QuoteI like the twin dragons, Spring and Summer.  Good duality between Night and Sun, though it might sound more appropriate the use Night/Day.

How does Night imprison the mother?  Your opening lines led me to believe the mother was the earth, as with Kishar...Are we to take it she rather is a physical being on the planet?

QuoteWith the shadows of the living cast, the Night devised a plan to create his own progeny. From the shadows of the living, Night harnessed their own power and created his own children, shadows twins of the dragons, which he named Autumn and Winter.

The Mother is the goddess of all things and is symbolized by the earth/planet itself. As for her imprisonment by the Moon, he went to her as she slept and crafted a crystal prison of earth around her as she slept, crafting it in such a way with shadow to have her believe that it was always night and thus, always time for her to be sleeping.

As for Autumn and Winter. I love them as they are so fun to write. As a note, in an upcoming revision they will be called the Wyrms of Autumn and Winter (as well as Spring and Summer) to lessen the confusion between normal dragons and these demi-gods.

QuoteI agree with SA, Night is brilliantly tragic character.  As any good villain should be (I don't know he's a villain, but the intro makes it sound like it; I'm writing as I read).

QuoteNo mortal had been slain by another out of cruelty before and the earth shook as Ilius took the newborn child back to the beach, back to the Lord of Night.

I agree and was certainly one of the most fun parts to develop

QuoteTimeline
Every setting should have one of these.  What do the abbreviations stand for?  That is, "bi" and "ab" - it seems like we are talking BCE and CE, but I'm curious what they represent. (is it before Ilius?)

But wait, the Night Reign ended 2000 years ago?  I assume you intended to explain why the setting is called this later?  It sounds from the intro like it has just begun...Has it just started again?

Nicely detailed Age of Heroes.  Do you plan to write up the remaining ages in detail, as well?[/quote]Map
Very nice.  There's so many names it's overwhelming, but I think were I familiar with the setting, that would be very helpful.

So we are clear, Falamor is the name of the world?  The continent?  An empire?[/quote]Races
You've got a nice, condensed trinity of three races.  Do you believe the hybrids add anything in particular to the setting?  I'm not saying you should drop them, but I am curious if you had some specific intent in including them.[/quote]I'd change Loth's name unless you want to reference Lloth.  They are so similar, one cannot help but be mentally drawn to it. (I see you address this later, so nevermind).[/quote]Interesting take on dwarves as spreading love and cheer...That's different.  Also interesting that they are messengers of the Sun, since mythical dwarves avoided sunlight (in some stories it turned them to stone).[/quote]Cushani: A servant race, that's cool.  It allows you diversity without breaking the idea of a trinity.  I don't know if you intend it to be a PC race, but I'd say it is not properly balanced with other PC races without adding a LA.[/quote]Overall
On a side note, a setting like this seems like it should really play up vampires, shadows, werewolves, and other nightstalkers.[/quote]As to the setting itself, you've got some strong ideas.  I know you call it a work in progress, but it is still quite interesting.  I hope to see more, as your time allows.[/quote]Oh, and congrats on the child![/quote]
Thanks! Little Hazard Stephen will be coming around March 19.

History has been updated and was so long it had to be broken into two posts. The history covers Age of Creation, Night, Heroes and Sorrows. This is the semi-official history till I find that it needs more tweeking. Enjoy!

Okay, unless you've made major changes to the Creation Myth or Age of Night, I've read that.  So now I'll tackle the Age of Heroes.

The controversy over the body of Ilius:
Interesting, with nice detail.  Were the humans afraid of angering the moon because the still respected its power?  Why don't the elves and half the dwarves?

QuoteDuring the period of discussion and indecision
<snip>
the Wyrm of Winter deceived Ikar into believing that the only course left was to kill his brother so his vote would not count. Ikar finally agreed and during the middle of the night, Ikar murdered his brother.

Ikar then returned to the Council to state that Ikos had taken ill and would not join the Council.
<snip>

After the influence of the Wyrm of Winter over the council and the death of his highest priest, the Sun was enraged and punished the Wyrms of Winter and Autumn by banishing them to the land, making them living avatars as opposed to actual demigods. Afterwards, the Sun sent the Wyrms of Spring and Summer to the land to watch over the races, to preserve the peace and to stop the influence of the Moon and his children in the affairs of the mortal races.[/quote]These dragons deliberately skinned their metallic scales to show that they supported the cause and had shed the false ideals of Spring and Summer <snip>[/quote]The Watchers taught the Cushani the ways of divine magic by sharing a portion of their souls with the felines. This sharing linked the two races together and bred a new breed of Cushani that were as one with the dragons. These kindred souls paired together and became the first Dragon Riders.[/quote]The races of the world were once again in the hands of those who would take charge.[/quote]To do so, the two Shades captured Geladrine and sacrificed her to the Moon. Using her consecrated blood they fashioned a poison that was given to the Wyrm as he slept. The poison put him into a deep sleep and thus unable to stop the Shanâ,¬,,¢ree from conquering the area.[/quote]Falling to her knees over his body she cried out to the sun, cursing him for what had happened and to the moon for bringing evil into the world. She cursed herself for allowing it all to happen. She spoke the words of magic, weaving a curse upon herself so that she would relive her torments and sins till the end of her days. To cement the curse, she drank the blood of her fallen father. That act, seen by the moon, grew even more with the drinking of the blood than Aiyia had intended. With the power of Pelus in her veins, the son of the Wyrm of Springâ,¬,,¢s blood was too much for the sins that she carried and the curse was twisted so that she would carry her sins for an eternity, never able to die by natural means and never able to see the sun again. She was the first vampire.[/quote]
Another great origin of X story.  However, the sentence, "that act, seen by the moon, grew even more" is confusing.  Is it supposed to mean, "Under the moon's influence, Aiyia drank deeper than she planned."?

Okay, this was a an incredibly detailed and dense story (which is why I do not have time to do Age of Sorrows until I get back from my trip).  I commend your attention to detail.  One suggestion to make it easier to read, however, might be to break it down a little more.  Perhaps with some headings, break it into chapters, and so forth.  I appreciate a long history, and even the need for one, but it helps if you can tackle it in sections (smaller ones than the division you already have).

Keep up the good work!

Thank you for the reply and I'm glad you liked the Age of Heroes. To answer some questions:

Ages of Creation and Night: There are some more details added for better flow like what is the Breath, the difference between Wyrms and dragons and so on.

Interesting, with nice detail. Were the humans afraid of angering the moon because the still respected its power? Why don't the elves and half the dwarves?Correct, they may not like the Moon for what he had done but they still respect the fact that he is indeed a god.

Or are the warm dragons still demigods and thus not actually physical? The Wyrms of Spring and Summer take physical form while on the earth to better integrate themselves with the people. Hard for a demigod to help people along if the people won't even look at them (awe or fear).

Balisk's name sounds a lot like basilisk. Is this intentional? Unintentional

Aiyia and the Moon: Yeah, just badly worded there.

Thanks again for the read over.

Hmm, been awhile since I've posted anything. I've been away due to the birth of my son. Now that things have settled, I should have a chance to post more stuff on Night Reign. I've been continually working and even have a playtest going now to try out the tech side of things and so far so good.

Congratulations to you!