The Campaign Builder's Guild

Please post all questions and comments for The Saga of the Seven Swords here.
Here is a link to the setting thread:http://www.thecbg.org/e107_plugins/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?35483

I coulda sworn I've seen this before and reviewed... hooray, my psychosis is back! ;)


I didn't look at your system, but I'll probably get to it and critique that in its own thread sometime.

The Uru I like. I'm curious as to what sort of 'calamity' takes hundreds of generations to fully take effect, unless they were really long lived. Still, a thousand years is quite a while.

I like that you've got two Uru pulling the strings with the humans. It makes for a very good read. I'm curious as to whether the laws you mentioned are physical (they can't harm each other even if they tried) or just normal laws. I see a definite influence from lord of the rings as far as the heart corrupting and the swordbearers. All in all, a great story and premise for a setting.

You mention that you're planning on running only with humans, but you don't know how to make that interesting. If I could make a suggestion, I would take the different human ethnicities in your world and make those your new 'races.' They're all still human, but you've opened up player options for specialization and differentiation.

The beginning history of the Order of the Emerald Flame is extremely confusing. I'm not certain how many factions you've got, who they're fighting, and who we're supposed to be rooting for. In the beginning you seem to imply that the disgruntled wizards called themselves the circle, but you've got disgruntled wizards fighting the circle only a few sentences down! Other than that, it looks like a very good terrorist organization. I'm eager to hear more about porting, as well as looking at your other exclusive spells.

The Storm Riders. Robin Hood with an airship. I love it. For note of reference, most captains and officers in the olden days received a percentage, the remainder of which was divided into shares for the crew. 2 and a half shares for a captain is almost absurdly low. The voucher system is something I've never seen before, but when does the new recruit get out from under the voucher's wing? What happens when one betrays them, and the person who vouched for him was also vouched for? Does it discredit the whole line? What happens to the people who were vouched for by a betrayer? I love this group, and look forward to seeing more airships!

Your map, quite frankly, strikes me as odd. It looks like you tried to squeeze two planets worth of continents into one. The oceans look like giant rivers. I think your map would benefit greatly if you cut out about half of them, to make the oceans truly oceanic. Would it matter, since only one of the fifteen continents is playable?

I've got a theory on religion. It has to be there in some form, whether you've got divine magic or no. The way it looks to me, three pantheons will be alot of work for you (trust me, I had to make five for mine. Not fun.) and for the players, trying to decide on them all. I suggest making each pantheon a religion, and have players worship everyone in the pantheon.

The swords I can't wait to see, but I suggest you go with a naming scheme. You seem to have swords that are [royalty][synonym for sword], and [animal/thing][body part]. Try seeing what it would look like if they all worked off the same thing. Of course, I could be completely backwards, and your system would benefit from each name being completely different.

You've got quite a bit left open, and I can't wait to see it. I will warn you, however, that these posts have a maximum character count, and you may run out of space.

QuoteI didn't look at your system, but I'll probably get to it and critique that in its own thread sometime.

The Uru I like. I'm curious as to what sort of 'calamity' takes hundreds of generations to fully take effect, unless they were really long lived. Still, a thousand years is quite a while.
[/quote]
I like that you've got two Uru pulling the strings with the humans. It makes for a very good read. I'm curious as to whether the laws you mentioned are physical (they can't harm each other even if they tried) or just normal laws. I see a definite influence from lord of the rings as far as the heart corrupting and the swordbearers. All in all, a great story and premise for a setting.
[/quote]
You mention that you're planning on running only with humans, but you don't know how to make that interesting. If I could make a suggestion, I would take the different human ethnicities in your world and make those your new 'races.' They're all still human, but you've opened up player options for specialization and differentiation.
[/quote]
The beginning history of the Order of the Emerald Flame is extremely confusing. I'm not certain how many factions you've got, who they're fighting, and who we're supposed to be rooting for. In the beginning you seem to imply that the disgruntled wizards called themselves the circle, but you've got disgruntled wizards fighting the circle only a few sentences down! Other than that, it looks like a very good terrorist organization. I'm eager to hear more about porting, as well as looking at your other exclusive spells.
[/quote]
The Storm Riders. Robin Hood with an airship. I love it. For note of reference, most captains and officers in the olden days received a percentage, the remainder of which was divided into shares for the crew. 2 and a half shares for a captain is almost absurdly low. The voucher system is something I've never seen before, but when does the new recruit get out from under the voucher's wing? What happens when one betrays them, and the person who vouched for him was also vouched for? Does it discredit the whole line? What happens to the people who were vouched for by a betrayer? I love this group, and look forward to seeing more airships!
[/quote]
Your map, quite frankly, strikes me as odd. It looks like you tried to squeeze two planets worth of continents into one. The oceans look like giant rivers. I think your map would benefit greatly if you cut out about half of them, to make the oceans truly oceanic. Would it matter, since only one of the fifteen continents is playable?
[/quote]
I've got a theory on religion. It has to be there in some form, whether you've got divine magic or no. The way it looks to me, three pantheons will be alot of work for you (trust me, I had to make five for mine. Not fun.) and for the players, trying to decide on them all. I suggest making each pantheon a religion, and have players worship everyone in the pantheon.
[/quote]
The swords I can't wait to see, but I suggest you go with a naming scheme. You seem to have swords that are [royalty][synonym for sword], and [animal/thing][body part]. Try seeing what it would look like if they all worked off the same thing. Of course, I could be completely backwards, and your system would benefit from each name being completely different.
[/quote]
You've got quite a bit left open, and I can't wait to see it. I will warn you, however, that these posts have a maximum character count, and you may run out of space.
[/quote]

thanks, I was hoping to at least get one person interested in my setting. I plan on making updates about once a week. I think the next one will be for Trillith, I think it will help people understand The Order of the Emerald Flame.

Quote from: XXsiriusXXI was hoping people would like the Storm Riders. As for the percentage vs. shares issue, I think that you are right and I am going to make the change. As for the voucher system, the new crew member gets out of the voucher's wing when he vouches for a new member. At that time the person who vouched for him is absolved of his responsibly. As for the people who are under a betrayer, they also suffer his fate, unless there is absolute proof that they tried to stop the betrayer.

Do you think that it would be more interesting if there were like dynastic lines for vouching?

I don't like that it only cuts off when the new guy vouches, there should be a year limit as well. I mean some orphan or something might never vouch for someone.

The dynastic lines might be an interesting thing to explore (I'm considering doing something similar in dilandri), but the storm riders seems to be too young of an organization to go for that sort of thing, as you can't possibly be too many steps removed form the original crew.

Quote from: Stargate525

Quote from: XXsiriusXXI was hoping people would like the Storm Riders. As for the percentage vs. shares issue, I think that you are right and I am going to make the change. As for the voucher system, the new crew member gets out of the voucher's wing when he vouches for a new member. At that time the person who vouched for him is absolved of his responsibly. As for the people who are under a betrayer, they also suffer his fate, unless there is absolute proof that they tried to stop the betrayer.

Do you think that it would be more interesting if there were like dynastic lines for vouching?

I don't like that it only cuts off when the new guy vouches, there should be a year limit as well. I mean some orphan or something might never vouch for someone.

The dynastic lines might be an interesting thing to explore (I'm considering doing something similar in dilandri), but the storm riders seems to be too young of an organization to go for that sort of thing, as you can't possibly be too many steps removed form the original crew.

very true, it might be a little too soon for a dynastic type line. i do like the idea about at least a year.