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Conning the Con

Started by limetom, December 09, 2007, 09:34:31 PM

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limetom

December 09, 2007, 09:34:31 PM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Kindling
A bit of knowledge of the Cthulhu mythos is required for full effect, but it should be enjoyable nonetheless.  I wish I would have thought of this...

Reverse Nigerian Email Scam

Haphazzard

#1
December 12, 2007, 09:21:38 PM
I know nothing of Cthulhu mythos (I don't even know how to pronounce the damn word cthulhu), but the time I invested into reading this was well spent.  Loved that last email, it kind of reminds me of Punchdrunk Love (a bad movie where the main character falls for a phone-sex scam and gets attacked by the scammers for cancelling his credit card account).  I did enjoy the email storyline, though, and I decided to read more than just the red text.  All in all, funny and fantasy-style entertainment.  bravo.  Say, did you ever give the police any of that?
Thrice I've searched the forest of sanity, but have yet to find a single tree.

Belkar: We have a goal?
Roy: Sure, why do you think we're here?
Belkar: Well, I just figured we'd wander around, kill some sentient creatures because they had green skin and fangs and we don't, and then take their stuff.

SDragon

#2
December 12, 2007, 09:40:08 PM
Speaking for Limetom, I don't the he was "Randolph", so I doubt he knows if any of it reached the cops.

I'm reading it right now, but I'm only at the first letter. It certainly reeks of a scam so far, though.
[spoiler=My Projects]
Xiluh
Fiendspawn
Opening The Dark SRD
Diceless Universal Game System (DUGS)
[/spoiler][spoiler=Merits I Have Earned]
divine power
last poster in the dragons den for over 24 hours award
Commandant-General of the Honor Guard in Service of Nonsensical Awards.
operating system
stealer of limetom's sanity
top of the tavern award


[/spoiler][spoiler=Books I Own]
D&D/d20:
PHB 3.5
DMG 3.5
MM 3.5
MM2
MM5
Ebberon Campaign Setting
Legends of the Samurai
Aztecs: Empire of the Dying Sun
Encyclopaedia Divine: Shamans
D20 Modern

GURPS:

GURPS Lite 3e

Other Systems:

Marvel Universe RPG
MURPG Guide to the X-Men
MURPG Guide to the Hulk and the Avengers
Battle-Scarred Veterans Go Hiking
Champions Worldwide

MISC:

Dungeon Master for Dummies
Dragon Magazine, issues #340, #341, and #343[/spoiler][spoiler=The Ninth Cabbage]  \@/
[/spoiler][spoiler=AKA]
SDragon1984
SDragon1984- the S is for Penguin
Ona'Envalya
Corn
Eggplant
Walrus
SpaceCowboy
Elfy
LizardKing
LK
Halfling Fritos
Rorschach Fritos
[/spoiler]

Before you accept advice from this post, remember that the poster has 0 ranks in knowledge (the hell I'm talking about)

limetom

#3
December 12, 2007, 10:06:22 PM
Quote from: Sdragon1984Speaking for Limetom, I don't the he was "Randolph", so I doubt he knows if any of it reached the cops.

I'm reading it right now, but I'm only at the first letter. It certainly reeks of a scam so far, though.
Nope, I didn't do this; I found it elsewhere.  Also, for this kind of thing, at least in USland, you go to the Secret Service, not the police.

Haphazzard

#4
December 12, 2007, 10:19:46 PM
I figured you'd go to the police to find the scammer and they'd pass it on to whatever higher authority warranted it's attention.  Besides Police = 911; Secret Service = ???
Thrice I've searched the forest of sanity, but have yet to find a single tree.

Belkar: We have a goal?
Roy: Sure, why do you think we're here?
Belkar: Well, I just figured we'd wander around, kill some sentient creatures because they had green skin and fangs and we don't, and then take their stuff.

SDragon

#5
December 12, 2007, 10:39:55 PM
Okay, now I've read the whole thing, and oh my god is it hilarious! I honestly can't believe it went that smoothly.
[spoiler=My Projects]
Xiluh
Fiendspawn
Opening The Dark SRD
Diceless Universal Game System (DUGS)
[/spoiler][spoiler=Merits I Have Earned]
divine power
last poster in the dragons den for over 24 hours award
Commandant-General of the Honor Guard in Service of Nonsensical Awards.
operating system
stealer of limetom's sanity
top of the tavern award


[/spoiler][spoiler=Books I Own]
D&D/d20:
PHB 3.5
DMG 3.5
MM 3.5
MM2
MM5
Ebberon Campaign Setting
Legends of the Samurai
Aztecs: Empire of the Dying Sun
Encyclopaedia Divine: Shamans
D20 Modern

GURPS:

GURPS Lite 3e

Other Systems:

Marvel Universe RPG
MURPG Guide to the X-Men
MURPG Guide to the Hulk and the Avengers
Battle-Scarred Veterans Go Hiking
Champions Worldwide

MISC:

Dungeon Master for Dummies
Dragon Magazine, issues #340, #341, and #343[/spoiler][spoiler=The Ninth Cabbage]  \@/
[/spoiler][spoiler=AKA]
SDragon1984
SDragon1984- the S is for Penguin
Ona'Envalya
Corn
Eggplant
Walrus
SpaceCowboy
Elfy
LizardKing
LK
Halfling Fritos
Rorschach Fritos
[/spoiler]

Before you accept advice from this post, remember that the poster has 0 ranks in knowledge (the hell I'm talking about)

limetom

#6
December 13, 2007, 03:55:46 AM
Quote from:  911; Secret Service = ???[/quotehttp://www.secretservice.gov/[/url] or your regional field office.  Whichever.  As for the police, it's actually outside their jurisdiction, being (typically) an international crime, so they'd just tell you  to call the Secret Service anyway.  Also, 911 is for emergencies; police do have local, non-emergency numbers.

Kindling

#7
December 13, 2007, 10:42:37 AM
Quote from: HaphazzardI know nothing of Cthulhu mythos (I don't even know how to pronounce the damn word cthulhu)

Kuh-THOO-loo
all hail the reapers of hope

psychoticbarber

#8
December 13, 2007, 12:29:13 PM
That was...glorious. I love it.
*Evil Grin* "Snip Snip"

Current Campaign Setting: Kayru, City of Ancients

"D&D at its heart is about breaking into other peoples' homes, stabbing them in the face, and taking all their money. That's very hard to rationalize as a Good thing to do, and the authors of D&D have historically not tried terribly hard." -- Tome of Fiends

SDragon

#9
December 13, 2007, 01:35:20 PM
Quote from: Kindling
Quote from: HaphazzardI know nothing of Cthulhu mythos (I don't even know how to pronounce the damn word cthulhu)

Kuh-THOO-loo


That's what I use, too, but apparently the "proper" pronunciation is something more like KLUL-hoo. to-MAY-to to-MAH-to, IMHO.
[spoiler=My Projects]
Xiluh
Fiendspawn
Opening The Dark SRD
Diceless Universal Game System (DUGS)
[/spoiler][spoiler=Merits I Have Earned]
divine power
last poster in the dragons den for over 24 hours award
Commandant-General of the Honor Guard in Service of Nonsensical Awards.
operating system
stealer of limetom's sanity
top of the tavern award


[/spoiler][spoiler=Books I Own]
D&D/d20:
PHB 3.5
DMG 3.5
MM 3.5
MM2
MM5
Ebberon Campaign Setting
Legends of the Samurai
Aztecs: Empire of the Dying Sun
Encyclopaedia Divine: Shamans
D20 Modern

GURPS:

GURPS Lite 3e

Other Systems:

Marvel Universe RPG
MURPG Guide to the X-Men
MURPG Guide to the Hulk and the Avengers
Battle-Scarred Veterans Go Hiking
Champions Worldwide

MISC:

Dungeon Master for Dummies
Dragon Magazine, issues #340, #341, and #343[/spoiler][spoiler=The Ninth Cabbage]  \@/
[/spoiler][spoiler=AKA]
SDragon1984
SDragon1984- the S is for Penguin
Ona'Envalya
Corn
Eggplant
Walrus
SpaceCowboy
Elfy
LizardKing
LK
Halfling Fritos
Rorschach Fritos
[/spoiler]

Before you accept advice from this post, remember that the poster has 0 ranks in knowledge (the hell I'm talking about)

Stargate525

#10
December 14, 2007, 01:15:51 PM
This page is #4 on google for 'conning the con.' That's insane.
My Setting: Dilandri, The World of Five
Badges:

limetom

#11
December 14, 2007, 02:51:02 PM
Quote from: Stargate525This page is #4 on google for 'conning the con.' That's insane.
I'm made of all kinds of win, it seems.  Well... either that or I pay Google like everyone else.  One of the three.

Kindling

#12
December 14, 2007, 05:57:25 PM
Quote from: Sdragon1984That's what I use, too, but apparently the "proper" pronunciation is something more like KLUL-hoo. to-MAY-to to-MAH-to, IMHO.


Well, actually, the "proper" pronunciation is impossible to achieve with human anatomy, but kuh-THOO-loo and the like are closest approximations us pitiful fleshbags can achieve :P
all hail the reapers of hope
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