The Campaign Builder's Guild

Quote from: SDragonThe hairlessness is a new thing, though. Older fans aren't familiar with it. If you've ever seen a picture of (former?) professional wrestler Bam Bam Bigelow, you might know something is off, but if your first glance is quick enough, you might not notice that he's bald. You might not notice his flame tattoo, either. Since his flame tattoo covers his scalp, you may mistake it for very short hair, with only his "widows peak" as a tipoff that something isn't quite right. That's how I picture the yuma's hairlessness.

He still can continue to fly around chasing Sun, can't he? Seems relatively unharmed for a guy who literally had a vital organ torn straight out of his body, to me [/quote]

Touché

Quote from: Llum

Quote from: SDragonThe main idea behind this philosophy is that the most important questions aren't who what when or where, but instead, why and how. Your response tells me that I've taken a radical view, and answered 'why' well enough to be convincing. Goal Achieved, apparently.

Thank you. I find it's a very effective strategy, too.

By the way, I still have more responses to your review in waiting, so don't think this is all there is ;)

Quote from: SDragonThat's not something I've considered, but it makes perfect sense. Thanks for the idea.

Assuming you're the average American, you have very easy access to green paper. Do the intricate patterns dissuade you from attempting forgeries?[/quote]

Well the main thing is that American money isn't made from paper (its a woven fabric, which is why you can wash bills), and yes LOTS of people attempt forgeries. Counterfeiting is a major criminal industry, if somewhat dampened by advances in technology.

Quote from: Llum

Quote from: SDragonThat's not something I've considered, but it makes perfect sense. Thanks for the idea.

More then you know. Even if nothing else, reviews and such help keep my mind on the setting, which helps it develop further.

Quote from: SDragonI've intentionally left this issue unresolved. Not only is it practically impossible to figure out the answers to these questions, but the overwhelmingly vast majority of Xiluhans don't really care enough to know. They figure that if they were meant to know, they would know.

Extremely practical, yes, but it's a very large part of how Xiluhans see things. If you find it satisfying because it isn't an overflow of fancy information, then you probably understand why Xiluhans don't care to know more about the Invasions.

Quote from: SDragonAssuming you're the average American, you have very easy access to green paper. Do the intricate patterns dissuade you from attempting forgeries?

I don't really see counterfeiting being that big of a criminal industry. The payoff simply isn't worth the effort, and the newer technologies are making that even more of the case. When it comes to criminal industries, you're more likely to have people in simpler things, like theft, drug trade, or even murder-for-hire.

Personally, if I had to choose an illegal way to gain lots of money (say, a billion dollars), I'd rather just steal it, instead of spending time and effort learning how to fake it, followed by stealthily obtaining the required equipment, then spending even more time and effort actually making it.

Like others here, I like your "Mesoamerican" basis for Xiluh. It's a refreshing change from the "stock D&D Europe" environment. I'll admit that there's some degree of personal bias in this like, as my own setting also has a significant amount of influence from these cultures. The introduction text does well at setting the tone, though it could do with a few more little details showing the flavor of the region. However, it's fine, my biggest problem was that I found it a bit jarring and disappointing when the second paragraph immediately branched into some rather bland crunch about weapons. I realize that some people are more mechanics-oriented than others, but seeing stats pop up completely subverted any sense of being pulled into the setting that your well-written initial paragraph created.

Your "important note on culture" left me shaking my head. Granted, it's a fantasy setting-- maybe it's a sad commentary on human nature and society that I can accept magic and a bunch of other weirdness, but not that racism doesn't exist. Still, even if we assume the thought processes of the peoples of Xiluh are fundamentally different, and "us and them" mentalities won't inherently develop-- that is to say, judge Xiluh only by its own rules, it still doesn't work, because of the case of the yuma. Why are the yuma an exception? If the people are so enlightened and egalitarian, why won't they resent the treatment of this one race as inferior? And, if they don't, why doesn't it extend to other races?

You haven't really fleshed out the political entities in Xiluh in any detail, so I can't say for certain here, but it seems to me that the very existence of tribal city-states with clear-cut cultural borders also provides internal reason for the existence of racist feelings. You said that people do feel pride about their own group's accomplishments-- "people like me can do this." Why, exactly, does that not cross the line into "people who are not like me can't, and therefore I'm superior?" Even if they may not inherently feel that way, I don't understand why an opportunist city-state government wouldn't try to whip up some racist feelings in its dealings with a rival. If you're about to go to war with someone, it'll help morale a whole lot if you can get the people feeling superior.

But, anyway, let's talk about those races. According to your descriptions, elves are this way. Dwarves are this way. You didn't write anything about humans so that leads me to the question-- are you going to write a prevailing attitude about humans, too? I know we're humans, and there are so many different types of humans, so it's impossible to nail down just what your typical human is and does, but then... why is it so easy for other races? Why can their behaviors be so accurately pinned down?  This is one of my pet peeves, I must admit. For that matter, if races really are so easily generalized-- well, it's another big point in favor of racism existing, as racial stereotypes often give birth to it.

On to classes: I'm glad you don't have a "fighting for good because good is good and that's good" class. That kind of thing doesn't mesh well with a realistic world view. But then again, your setting's world view is that all races can get along in harmony, so it makes me wonder why not have a "pure good" class? If nothing else, they can be the ones who enforce the "no racism" rule. Tell an off-color racial joke, get your head chopped off by the neighborhood paladin!

But, anyway. Your timeline is a little bit boring, because there isn't that much in the way of detail telling about what is actually happening on it. Were the Dwarves extinct, and what happened that caused them to come back? What is the story with this Empire? What's the story behind Thask? Or Yaxhuacon? And so on... I think part of the problem is that it's a rather long period of history. I'm also curious what sort of advancements in science and culture were made in this long span of time. If there weren't any, which seems to be another flaw that many fantasy settings suffer from, then why not? I do like your creation story, though. It has a certain Mesoamerican flavor to it that fits the setting. I'd take issue with the whole "eclipses don't happen ever" thing, but I guess that's one of those things you can just chalk up to being "part of the setting," however little sense it makes.

I also like the amount of thought you've put into the calendar, and the amount of symbolism that each period of time has. This is something that is very realistic, and yet something that I see is not often done in settings. Part of this is probably familiarity for the players-- if the setting uses an alien dating system, it makes it difficult for them to place events in time. However, it's still a nice creative effort that you did it. It probably also helps that a Xiluh year is almost the same length as an Earth year, so at least placing events in the long-term will not confuse players. As Moon as well as Sun is honored, is there any part of the calendar that is lunar instead of solar in basis?

On the topic of money, I guess I again must be skeptical. It seems like in something like a loose confederation of city-states, pretty much anything that doesn't have "inherent" value won't be accepted as money. That means obsidian is a good choice, but I'm not sure about wood or stone. These wouldn't have monetary value inherently but would instead have value because the state says they do. But what state? And if the confederation is so loose, why would other states listen? Typically fiat money only works because the authority issuing it is rather encompassing and powerful, which Xiluh political entities do not seem to be. What's wrong with gold? (I'm not going to mention cacao beans, honest)

There are some details about this setting that I like, in addition to its more general merit of getting away from the "Western Europe" orientation of D&D. However, in my opinion, there are a lot of strange contradictions and things that need to be fleshed out before it becomes truly interesting or noteworthy.

Quote from: sparkletwistLike others here, I like your "Mesoamerican" basis for Xiluh. It's a refreshing change from the "stock D&D Europe" environment. I'll admit that there's some degree of personal bias in this like, as my own setting also has a significant amount of influence from these cultures. The introduction text does well at setting the tone, though it could do with a few more little details showing the flavor of the region. However, it's fine, my biggest problem was that I found it a bit jarring and disappointing when the second paragraph immediately branched into some rather bland crunch about weapons. I realize that some people are more mechanics-oriented than others, but seeing stats pop up completely subverted any sense of being pulled into the setting that your well-written initial paragraph created.

That's the first thing I ever really wrote for Xiluh, so it's probably more telling of my style when I first started this whole world-building thing then it of my current ability. I've been meaning to take the crunch out completely, to be honest. This is just more incentive to do so. Thanks.

QuoteYour "important note on culture" left me shaking my head. Granted, it's a fantasy setting-- maybe it's a sad commentary on human nature and society that I can accept magic and a bunch of other weirdness, but not that racism doesn't exist.

is[/i] a sad commentary that we can notice our own achievements, and the shortcomings of others, but not our own shortcomings, and the achievements of others.

QuoteStill, even if we assume the thought processes of the peoples of Xiluh are fundamentally different, and "us and them" mentalities won't inherently develop-- that is to say, judge Xiluh only by its own rules, it still doesn't work, because of the case of the yuma. Why are the yuma an exception? If the people are so enlightened and egalitarian, why won't they resent the treatment of this one race as inferior? And, if they don't, why doesn't it extend to other races?

You haven't really fleshed out the political entities in Xiluh in any detail, so I can't say for certain here, but it seems to me that the very existence of tribal city-states with clear-cut cultural borders also provides internal reason for the existence of racist feelings. You said that people do feel pride about their own group's accomplishments-- "people like me can do this." Why, exactly, does that not cross the line into "people who are not like me can't, and therefore I'm superior?" Even if they may not inherently feel that way, I don't understand why an opportunist city-state government wouldn't try to whip up some racist feelings in its dealings with a rival. If you're about to go to war with someone, it'll help morale a whole lot if you can get the people feeling superior.[/quote]But, anyway, let's talk about those races. According to your descriptions, elves are this way. Dwarves are this way. You didn't write anything about humans so that leads me to the question-- are you going to write a prevailing attitude about humans, too?[/quote]I know we're humans, and there are so many different types of humans, so it's impossible to nail down just what your typical human is and does, but then... why is it so easy for other races? Why can their behaviors be so accurately pinned down?  This is one of my pet peeves, I must admit.[/quote]For that matter, if races really are so easily generalized-- well, it's another big point in favor of racism existing, as racial stereotypes often give birth to it.[/quote]On to classes: I'm glad you don't have a "fighting for good because good is good and that's good" class. That kind of thing doesn't mesh well with a realistic world view. But then again, your setting's world view is that all races can get along in harmony, so it makes me wonder why not have a "pure good" class? If nothing else, they can be the ones who enforce the "no racism" rule. Tell an off-color racial joke, get your head chopped off by the neighborhood paladin![/quote]But, anyway. Your timeline is a little bit boring, because there isn't that much in the way of detail telling about what is actually happening on it. Were the Dwarves extinct, and what happened that caused them to come back? What is the story with this Empire? What's the story behind Thask? Or Yaxhuacon? And so on... I think part of the problem is that it's a rather long period of history. I'm also curious what sort of advancements in science and culture were made in this long span of time. If there weren't any, which seems to be another flaw that many fantasy settings suffer from, then why not? I do like your creation story, though. It has a certain Mesoamerican flavor to it that fits the setting.[/quote]I'd take issue with the whole "eclipses don't happen ever" thing, but I guess that's one of those things you can just chalk up to being "part of the setting," however little sense it makes.[/quote]I also like the amount of thought you've put into the calendar, and the amount of symbolism that each period of time has. This is something that is very realistic, and yet something that I see is not often done in settings. Part of this is probably familiarity for the players-- if the setting uses an alien dating system, it makes it difficult for them to place events in time. However, it's still a nice creative effort that you did it. It probably also helps that a Xiluh year is almost the same length as an Earth year, so at least placing events in the long-term will not confuse players. As Moon as well as Sun is honored, is there any part of the calendar that is lunar instead of solar in basis?[/quote]could[/i] make one. Turns out, the exercise was such a success that I decided to add it to Xiluh.

As for the lack of familiarity with alien calendars, if any given gaming group doesn't like this calendar, they don't have to use it. What people do with my setting within the context of their gaming group isn't really my issue. However, if they want, there is official material to be used.

No, there isn't any specific part of the calendar that's more lunar-based, however, the calendar in general is just as lunar-based as it is solar-based.

QuoteOn the topic of money, I guess I again must be skeptical. It seems like in something like a loose confederation of city-states, pretty much anything that doesn't have "inherent" value won't be accepted as money. That means obsidian is a good choice, but I'm not sure about wood or stone. These wouldn't have monetary value inherently but would instead have value because the state says they do. But what state? And if the confederation is so loose, why would other states listen? Typically fiat money only works because the authority issuing it is rather encompassing and powerful, which Xiluh political entities do not seem to be. What's wrong with gold? (I'm not going to mention cacao beans, honest)

shouldn't[/i]) wrap around crunch. I may end up taking it out completely, although that might make it that much harder to integrate into actual games.

QuoteThere are some details about this setting that I like, in addition to its more general merit of getting away from the "Western Europe" orientation of D&D. However, in my opinion, there are a lot of strange contradictions and things that need to be fleshed out before it becomes truly interesting or noteworthy.

Thanks, I appreciate the honesty. If you can't already tell, I'm going to add more of a response to this, but I'm slightly burnt out from writing at the moment. I blame Daylight Savings :p

Okay, time to give out some review badges. Sparkletwist, you already know you've earned yours. LC, you earned yours a long time ago, but it seems you've never actually gotten one. Dunno how I managed to miss that one. Joker earned one, but since he left, he can't receive it. I'll let him know anyway, in case he ever returns. Llum, you've earned one, too.

To the rest of the reviewers, please don't be offended for not having received a badge. I try to respond to most of the reviews I get, but I feel that some reviews simply don't warrant more then that. This shouldn't discourage you from posting further reviews later on-- in fact, I hope for the opposite! The more quality reviews I get, the more badges I give. I feel that's a fair system for my badges.

Ok, finally getting down to a bit of reviewing on this.

I like your calendar. I find the five day celebration to be particularly interesting.  I know you mentioned the conflict between Horus and Set from Egyptian myth as inspirtation.  Well I was wondering if this too, had Egyptian influence?  It reminds me of a story of how Thoth in a game of chance won 1/72 of the Moon's time in the sky, which he tacked on to the end of the 360 day year (no coincidence that it is the same number as there are degrees in a circle) to make 5 extra days in which Nuit--I think it was Nuit, but I could be mistaken--could give birth.  

I want to hear more about:
Sacrifice--You've mentioned elves are sacrificed & their bones used for money.  What role does the sacrifice itself play in Xiluh?  Who performs the Sacrifices?  Are there different kinds of sacrifices and different occasions for sacrifice? Who attends a sacrifice?  Is it a massive public ceremony or a quiet solemn ritual?  In any case there's bound to be some ritual behind a sacrifice, so elaborate: is the sacrifice performed with a special knife?  Is there a special place for it, or is it done on a multi-purpose altar?   I could go on for quite some time asking questions about the specifics of sacrifice, but I will leave you these as examples of the kind of details that would make this come alive, and leave the rest to you.
Astronomy--Youve suggested that they can locate the new stars of the reincarnated, so I want to know what else they do.  What knowledge do they gain from studying the stars?  Who engages in astronomy?  Are there those whose job it is to study the stars,  does that fall under the duties of shamans and druids?

Speaking of Shamans and Druids, lets talk about classes.  I am concerned with the likening of clerics and druids.  In a nature oriented culture the Druid seems to cover both roles to me.  If you replace the Cleric class with a shaman class, it might work, and there have been previous suggestions that might hold potential.  I'm not saying that you should drop clerics, but I think you need to make sure that if you have them both, they are distinct enough in purpose to avoid redundancy.
You say you're removing the paladin, and incorporating that role into the monk, but I have heard nothing else about the monk.  What role do THEY serve?  How do monks fit into this setting any better than paladins, especially if they are taking on aspects of the paladin?
I'm also not sure why wizards and sorcerers are here, besides the fact that they are D&D classes, and there are players of these classes to appease.  That sounds harsh, but I don't see a real distinct place for them.  They are "unofficial shamans," but if you have Clerics that are the real shamans, then why do you need unofficial ones too?  And why two classes of unofficial shamans?  
Someone mentioned/suggested totemism with druids, I believe.  If you are thinking to keep the barbarian class in Xiluh, then you may want to consider the Totemic Barbarian variants.

Something unrelated that may or may not interest you in the least:
The Incas had a special breed of hairless temple dog called the Xoloitzcuintle (Show-LOW-its-KEENT-lay), which actually still exists, although few are aware of them.  Their toes have three knuckles, unlike the usual two for dogs, and their feet are webbed.  If you were interested in just playing with flavor and perhaps having a fun alternative animal companion, it might be worth considering.  

So all in all, nice flavor, but could do with expansion and elaboration.  I'm concerned with some specifics, but these might simply require an explanation.  Good luck.  
~Seraph

Well, if I'm on a roll I may as well keep going, right?  You're next, Fristo-man!

QuoteOnly 150 years after The Seven Invasions, the world of Xiluh begins to change- some say as if preparing itself for a catastrophic event. The wise eagles, which once proudly shared their wisdom of the land now take a reclusive nature, Meanwhile, many of the jaguars, once peaceful protectors and companions of powerful shamans now abandon such posts.
Travelers from lands even more exotic then the fabled Valley of Thenta lend to rumors of when and what could such an event be. Many claim that the couatl and sun worshiping guilds may be the only ones safe. Only time, and possibly a few strokes of luck, may tell.

Most weaponry is made out of obsidian ( -1ATK/+1DMG for piercing and slashing, non-ranged weapons require a shatter roll on natural ones, and allow shatter rolls for an extra x2 DMG on criticals). However, the rare metal and stone weapons, introduced by one of the seven invasions can be found, at a price.[/quote]the bones of ritually sacrificed elves are used as currency.[/quote]wicked awesome[/b].

QuoteElven males typically resent open displays of emotion

Are they too shy? Proud? What is it?

Your dwarves are different...but make sense.


Ah, that's it for now.

Quote from: Ninja D!

QuoteElven males typically resent open displays of emotion

I got the impression that it was pride (maybe that's just because of the old elven stereotypes).  Although it felt to me as if these elves were kind of like the Vulcans from Star Trek.  Although I suppose the specification against displays of emotion differentiates them from the Vulcans who don't feel emotion in the first place.

Two unsolicited quality reviews! I'll get to responding when I can, but in the meantime:

Quote from: Seraphine_Harmonium

Quote from: Ninja D!

QuoteElven males typically resent open displays of emotion

I got the impression that it was pride (maybe that's just because of the old elven stereotypes).  Although it felt to me as if these elves were kind of like the Vulcans from Star Trek.  Although I suppose the specification against displays of emotion differentiates them from the Vulcans who don't feel emotion in the first place.

It's not so much pride, as it is a sort of reservation. To them, it's almost a form of self control. It's similar to the idea of a few scattered golf claps counting as "and the crowd goes wild".

Seraphine, your Vulcan analogy is halfway there. Halfway, is in, an analogy involving half Vulcans might be a bit more accurate ;)

[ooc]Alright this is just the reposting of a few questions of mine, trying to stir up some interest in Xiluh again. Ignore it if you wish :D[/ooc]

Now I don't understand how clerics see wizards as taking a short-cut to power, since wizards study easily as hard as a cleric, gaining there power through knowledge alone. The sorcerer being weird is nothing new, but your sorcerers don't seem to gather any suspicion from naturally being able to do what takes others years to do?

About the seven invasions, each of the invading forces are completely separate entities with no prior knowledge of each other?

For Coualts, I gather they're still the same giant flying winged snake monster. The real question is, the feathers, if they're a dragon replacement I imagine they would be hard to kill. How hard are the feathers to get? Is it possible to kill a Coualt without coualt feather armor and other extremely strong items? Do they shed feathers? Making a suit of armor from shed feathers would be pretty hard if they rarely shed feathers, so would some people be Coualt trackers shadowing Coualts hoping to get some shed feathers. Maybe even finding the motherload, a dead Coualt corpse?

Quote from: LlumNow I don't understand how clerics see wizards as taking a short-cut to power, since wizards study easily as hard as a cleric, gaining there power through knowledge alone. The sorcerer being weird is nothing new, but your sorcerers don't seem to gather any suspicion from naturally being able to do what takes others years to do?

I'll get to this one later. Eventually. I hope.

QuoteAbout the seven invasions, each of the invading forces are completely separate entities with no prior knowledge of each other?

For Coualts, I gather they're still the same giant flying winged snake monster. The real question is, the feathers, if they're a dragon replacement I imagine they would be hard to kill. How hard are the feathers to get? Is it possible to kill a Coualt without coualt feather armor and other extremely strong items? Do they shed feathers? Making a suit of armor from shed feathers would be pretty hard if they rarely shed feathers, so would some people be Coualt trackers shadowing Coualts hoping to get some shed feathers. Maybe even finding the motherload, a dead Coualt corpse?[/quote]

Killing a Couatl is both highly dangerous and highly taboo. Killing one for the feathers would be akin to killing a demigod for his left toenail; even if you survive the incident, you'll still be shunned and despised by many. It's not in your best interest to try this.

Really, the best chance you have to get the feathers is to find a corpse. This is only slightly easier then killing one yourself, as the bodies are taken by the gods pretty fast, but for some, the renown is well worth the effort.

I think I still have some reviews to get to, but I've been busy. This post is a bit about religion in Xiluh. Partly for the sake of understanding, and partly to help me with consistency.

Xiluh religion is a polytheistic panentheism, with three major gods-- Eagle, Jaguar, and Snake-- and two lesser gods-- Sun and Moon. Although all five gods are within everything in the natural world, it's at different rates for different things. Because of this, the Shamanic practices may appear to be animistic. Really, it's just a matter of finding the right proportions of the gods in a desired effect, and then forming the right diplomatic actions in those proportions; if one god is obviously dominant in an area, appealing to another won't work nearly as well. Divinatory rituals are a matter of finding those proportions in various phenomena, noting any changes, and predicting the effects.

Quote from: Halfling FritosI think I still have some reviews to get to, but I've been busy. This post is a bit about religion in Xiluh. Partly for the sake of understanding, and partly to help me with consistency.

Xiluh religion is a polytheistic panentheism, with three major gods-- Eagle, Jaguar, and Snake-- and two lesser gods-- Sun and Moon. Although all five gods are within everything in the natural world, it's at different rates for different things. Because of this, the Shamanic practices may appear to be animistic. Really, it's just a matter of finding the right proportions of the gods in a desired effect, and then forming the right diplomatic actions in those proportions; if one god is obviously dominant in an area, appealing to another won't work nearly as well. Divinatory rituals are a matter of finding those proportions in various phenomena, noting any changes, and predicting the effects.

You had a good time last night on IRC, didn't you?
How are lesser spirits related to the gods?