The Campaign Builder's Guild

Yes, I am. In fact, I'd like to post bits and pieces of the development, so that I can get comments and critiques that will hopefully help this evolve into a really good story. I'm going to develop this with no notion of what may come next, so this could end up being very long, with a poor ending. I may end up fixing that in revisions, though-- or at least try to, anyway.

Script:

Page 1[/b]
Panel One
Caption: "Dave and Jerry were off doing whatever boys do..."
Two guys sitting on a bench in a mall-like area
Guy Two: "... Kryptonite condom, and that would kill him!"
Panel Two
Caption: "Kenny was home..."
Some guy sitting cross-legged, meditating... in SPACE!
Panel Three
Caption: "And so was I."
Mundane scene of girl on her bed
Caption: "But..."
No panels
Caption: "You didn't want to hear about how things ended, yet"
Caption: "Did you?"
~~~~~

Okay, at this point, I guess I've established four characters: Dave, Jerry, Kenny, and the narrator. I'm going with a female narrator/protagonist, so characterization may be a bit difficult for me. Hopefully I can get female opinions on what I can and can't get away with for this.

I've already done most of this page in roughs, but I haven't started actually working on drawing it yet. I'll get that last panel roughed out first, and then I can start working on the page itself, with any luck.

I can't really judge it without more content than that. However, what is up so far looks good. What I really want to see is some of your sketches ;P.

Specifically for this, or in general? If you mean specifically for this, then they'll hopefully come soon. If you mean in general, I already have at least one posted somewhere on this site. If you meant specifically for this, then you'll have to wait. I'm going to at least finish the rough version of a page before I scan it at all. Obviously, I'm going to scan it in after I'm done inking the final draft, too, so you might even have to wait until then before you see what I've drawn out for some of the pages.

I will end up posting some of the artwork, though. When, I don't know, but I will.

To give an idea of the pace of development, here's more of the script:


Page Two[/u]
Panel One
Caption: "I honestly can't tell you how long ago it all started"
Girl from last page dancing in bedroom.
Girl: ".. And she called herself Lil, but everyone knew her as"
Panel Two
Off-panel: "Nancy!"
Loud knocking on the bedroom door.
Off-panel: "Volume, Nance!"


Yea, there's more panel to come on this page, but that's all I've got so far. At least I've managed to establish a name for the narrator. I was wondering how I was going to do that.

Panel Three
Nancy cringes, and reaches for her stereo.
Nancy: "Sorry mom.."

Panel Four
Caption: "I'll be good!"
man walking down a street in a suit.


This might be the last panel for this page; I haven't decided yet. I'm going to go back to work on the art for the first page when I get the chance, too, but for now, the script is all I have to offer.

Having done some thumbnails for the second page, I've decided that, yes, that's the last panel for it. I've also been thinking of how much of a legal hassle it would be to get this published; so far, one use of copyrighted material per page. I could probably change the Superman reference one page one, but the Beatles reference on page two would be a bit harder to take out...

It was asked for, so here it is. Some artwork. Yes, this is crappy, but hopefully it will satisfy you for now.

Anyway, this is the planning stage sketch of page one. The contrast is horrible, partly because of me, partly because of the paper (yes, that's out of a notebook), and partly because of my scanner. I'm not sure how well the image will handle being uploaded to teh webz, either, so it might even be worse then what I saw in Photoshop.

Quote from: Halfling FritosIt was asked for, so here it is. Some artwork. Yes, this is crappy, but hopefully it will satisfy you for now.

Anyway, this is the planning stage sketch of page one. The contrast is horrible, partly because of me, partly because of the paper (yes, that's out of a notebook), and partly because of my scanner. I'm not sure how well the image will handle being uploaded to teh webz, either, so it might even be worse then what I saw in Photoshop.[spoiler=<snip>]

[/spoiler]

Dude, do you have a tablet?  If so, make a new layer and do the line-art on it in Photoshop, or even use tracing paper or a light-box and a good pen.  You're in art school, so try to represent that degree of proffessionalism in your work.

No tablet or lightbox (yet! both are on my gimeegimme list), but that particular piece wasn't actually intended as anything more then planning. It's really just a toss-away, but I was told that even a toss-away would be fine until I could post something better. Which, hopefully, I'll be able to do eventually.

Okay, I'm going to treat you all to a little bit of behind-the-scenes, here. One major goal i have with this comic is experimenting with different potential uses of visual storytelling, particularly the interaction between the words and the pictures. the second panel of page one is, I think, a good example of this, as the words and the picture combine to tell the reader more then either would by themselves; the words just tell you that Kenny is home, and the picture just tells you that there's a guy in space, but together, they tell you that Kenny's home is, apparently, in space.

What I plan on doing for the next... I dunno how many panels, could be seen as just the opposite of that approach. what i intend to do here is to separate the words from the picture as much as I can, using them to them to tell two parts of the same story, instead of focusing them together. I do intend some thematic connections, though.

Page 3[/u]
Panel One
Caption: "You better-- and start getting ready! You don't want to be late..."

Almost the same image as the last panel, except for now the man is looking at his watch.

Panel Two
Caption: "You've got a party to go to, remember?"

Man is no longer looking at his watch. A large black bird has come to stand near (on?) him.

Caption: "yeah mom, I know! Geez..."

Panel Three
Caption: "it's as if there was just one little mistake..."

closer shot of the man. I haven't decided on any more details to this shot yet.

Caption: "...and the whole world ends!"

I have a few ideas in my head that I think I want to incorporate into this project at some point, but I'm not sure yet how, or when, I'll do it. Right now, this is more or less how this thing looks in my head. Anyway...


[spoiler=Idea #1]The visual use of a metaphor. Right now, I'm tempted to use a literal interpretation-- specifically, of the Closet Metaphor-- but I know that would probably be closer to a traditional approach, and that I have the option of using the possibly less traditional approach of using a metaphor symbolically.

Example of the first option:

panel one: We see Susie, sitting inside what appear to be a closet.
panel two: Outside of the closet, we see Jane.
Jane: "Can't we talk about this? Please, just... come out."

Example of the second option:

panel one: Susie is looking over at Jane, during cheer practice.
panel two: Susie is suddenly sitting inside what appears to be a closet.
panel three: Back at cheer practice, Susie is frowning, obviously upset.[/spoiler]

I guess this could be considered related, but here's

[spoiler=Idea #2]A fallen angel who, filled with remorse, refuses to let somebody fall. I'm thinking the angel, I dunno, maybe saves somebody's life by keeping them from falling off a cliff or something. Maybe some comment on the situation, with some meaningful subtext. I'm not sure exactly how I'll pull this one, but it seems somehow fitting.[/spoiler]

Possible character name: Rosetta "Rosie" Stone. A master linguist, of course.

What, nobody likes the script so far? :p

Page 4
Panel 1[/u]
wide establishing shot of a crowded room. There's a party going on.
disembodied: "Nanc! Glad you could make it!"

Not entirely sure where this is going yet, but at least there's some hints at a potential plot starting out. For those of you who insist that some art should be posted, just keep in mind how fast the script itself is coming along, and be patient. It will come, eventually.

It's not that so much as this is going way too slow for me to really be able to contribute to it (or frankly want to follow it).

Do you mean the development, or the plot itself?