The Campaign Builder's Guild

Quotemaybe L'landra could be a patron of house Tsalir? sorry if that doesn't make sense, i've only read the CBG thread.

Please explain. I'm not sure what you're suggestiong here. Are you asking if the entire nation could be under the the thumb of House Tsalir? If so, it's very unlikely. There are too many other powerful Guild-Houses that would never allow a single one to gain control. The Syndicate is made up of numerous different men with many different agendas; House Tsalir is but one of the factions (though a very powerful one)competing for influence over the Syndicate.

Ok, I definitely should back out now.  i feel really confused...  maybe if you clarified te relative positions of L'landra and Tsalir?  If you don't want to, that's cool, but when I read too much I get my settings mixed up...

QuoteOk, I definitely should back out now. i feel really confused... maybe if you clarified te relative positions of L'landra and Tsalir? If you don't want to, that's cool, but when I read too much I get my settings mixed up...

L'Landra is a nation ruled by a secretive syndicate of various merchant guilds (more or less). Tsalir is one of the guilds with significant influence within the Syndicate. Does that clear things up for you?

Quotei've only read the CBG thread.

This is why you've got no idea what's going on. Follow the link in the first post to the WotC board. There you can see all you need to know in the first two posts. I broke it down into spoilers so you can easily find what you need to without reading through everything. Check out the second post; ther in you will find a spoiler talking about L'Landra as a whole, and a second spoiler that talks about the Syndicate.

alright, I read the stuff back at WoTC on L'landra and house tsalir.  I've got it now, and I guess my question didn't make much sense.  I must give honorable mention to the nation with the undead nobility however, it sounds awesome in my opinion...

Yeah Sylescnia is really cool in concept, but boy is it lacking in content. I need to work on that quite a bit. Maybe I'll go back there next.

Any other comments, questions, or concerns?

Well, for Sylescnia, you could start by identifying and elaborating on specific nobles.  Perhaps a new type of monster is in order, to add flavor to the nation.  also, describing the organiations of he priests and druids in the region could help.  Just some things you could work on...

I've been trying to avoid specific NPCs thus far. At least until the world as a whole shapes up, so as fun as it might be to make a nobles, I don't want to write them up while Rhoenhiem right next door is completely empty.

I do think the druids certainly deserve some attention, and probably the lycanthropes too.

The preisthood is also pretty important but they have stronger connection to Rhoenheim, where they're from. I think I need to build Rhoenhiem first, and then go back to Sylescnia to add more. I hate getting all scattered like this.  !dodge It's driving me nuts.

Added some nice stuff to Sylescnia about the source of the evil which has permeated the nation. Finally I have included some elves! But these elves are not the wholesome friendly type. Check out Sylescnia if you haven't already.

Thanks for taking my advice, and I'll check it out now.

EDIT:  My honest opinion is that the twisting of souls who visit Sylescnia was a bit too wordy to state that the land is corrupted, but it's your perogative to leave it.  I liked the banshees though, nice touch.  I totally didn't think of the druid's as allies of the lords though, and it should surprise any players you have if you don't tell them beforehand.

QuoteMy honest opinion is that the twisting of souls who visit Sylescnia was a bit too wordy to state that the land is corrupted, but it's your perogative to leave it.

Hmmm...I wouldn't ask for opinions if I had no intention of heeding advice. What would you suggest I change to make it less "wordy." Thus far (IMHO) Sylescnia is the least wordy of all my stuff. There such a thing as over-doing things though. I just looked it over and found glaring gramatical errors LOL! so I fixed those, but beyond that it didn't seem too bad to me. Give me specifics, or even a quote that exemplifies the problems. It's really hard to edit your own work, so please give me a hand.  !sad

QuoteI liked the banshees though, nice touch. I totally didn't think of the druid's as allies of the lords though, and it should surprise any players you have if you don't tell them beforehand.

Yeah, I really wanted to make the lords powerful, but not just in a personal context. I wanted them to have their claws in everything. I'm glad you approve.  :D

Thanks again for the feedback!

Ok, I've thought it over a bit, and it would seem that the large piece about mercenaries becoming cold and abusive was a bit stretched.  I suppose you could just say that the area has that one planar trait that makes everyone who visits too miserable to want to leave...  Just a thought...

Fair Enough.

Keep in mind that, honest criticism will prove longer in the long run than a "good job" every 5 seconds.  After all, that was what this guild was made to support.  I'm just doing my best to help, although I would advise asking someone else for a second opinion before making any substantial changes.

QuoteKeep in mind that, honest criticism will prove longer in the long run than a "good job" every 5 seconds. After all, that was what this guild was made to support. I'm just doing my best to help, although I would advise asking someone else for a second opinion before making any substantial changes.

I expect more honest criticism than good job comments so that's not an issue for. I just find it odd that this area is the one you don't like, because it seems like the runaway favorite with everyone else so far.

If you check the thred, I just scrapped a whole nation...I wasn't happy with it, and when I got confirmation from somebody else that it wasn't too hot, I completely cut it. I have no problem taking bad news when I understand (and agree) with the nature of it.

With all that out of the way, I will take a serious look at that paragraph about how the evil of Sylescnia seeps into the souls of men, and see if I can't make it better. It really doesn't seem that wordy to me. It's only a tiny paragraph after all, and this thing's up to well over thirty pages in MSWord.

I do see what your saying in that it could be probably be summed up in a sentence or two, but do really need to? It'd be a totally different story if your gripe was with a spoiler that hasn't already seen such overwhelming approval.

I've heard absolutely nothing about Kashra, The Academy, or the last two merchant houses of the Syndicate, so those areas are of slightly more concern to me. I don't know if they're being glossed over, deemed unimportant, or just silently approved.

My thread is getting a huge number of hits though, and repeat reviewers, so that seems like a good sign. I only started writing this thing on the 5th (although I did have some ideas already in my head).

Anyway, I took no offense...I just found it hard to see things from your point of view on this one. Don't take that as resistance or resentment.  8)

i read the Academy, and I can tell you the reaction you have ben getting is probably silent approval.  There deosn't seem to be much left to change there, or much to add without putting too much in.

I also read Kashra, and I can say that it does look good.  you might want to look into how a group of such peaceful people could be motivated to essentially perform acts of genocide against the bugbears present in the region.

EDIT:  i just looked over al'Arach, and it seems to be great, but also missing something.  Perhaps if you described important people in their organisation, or went into whether they actually can read minds and are loyal elsewhere.(spoiler blocks, mind you)  then you might have something else to write about.

Just my thoughts...