Beware of Swords.

[Ishmayl-Retired]

Uh, not that it would be pretty with a sword, either... x(

Well said, my friend... well said indeed

[Higgs Boson]

[blockquote Bill Volk]Good thing I only have guns. You can't slice a baby in f*cking half with a gun, can you?[/blockquote]
This brings me to a point. There is no problem that can not be solved by use of a gun (except for not using a gun, or something like that). For example, greed: Shoot everyone. Problem solved. Anywho, back to swords. They are cool, but the will kill you! And no matter what weapon you have, it will kill you! And it will never, ever be pretty ,no matter what. Cause, well, they're weapons.

[SDragon]

Uh, not that it would be pretty with a sword, either... x(

Well said, my friend... well said indeed

Agreed, it isn't pretty.

That said, I'll have to concede to the point that the clean, smooth cut a sword can produce would be prettier then the cut a gun would produce.

[LordVreeg]

[blockquote=Service Unavailable]Here I was, not even a week ago, debating on whether I wanted a Buster Sword or an Odachi as my first decorative sword. I had just settled on getting a cheaper option, a twin pair of "elven" swords, when I saw this.[/blockquote]
What the heck are 'Elven Swords'?

(and what is Raelifin's idea of an 'elven sword'??  I'm almost more interested in hearing that...)

[Matt Larkin (author)]

Yeah. He eats those, too. Like Keebler toothpicks. The edible kind.

[Raelifin]

[quote Encyclopedia Britannica (Special Edition)]Elven Sword

Originally coined by Francesco Redi (the same man who proved that elves do not spontaneously generate on worlds) in the late 17th century, "elven" swords were defined to be "the type of sword a typical elf would carry." And for nearly 250 years, it was assumed that an elven sword was thus a "big ol' cleaver" because everyone knew that álfar were Norse, and all vikings used big ol' cleavers.

Unfortunately, on October 29, 1929 Tolkien wrote down the comment about the hobbit in his hole, thus opening the Shadowrift (see Black Tuesday p.423, The Great Depression p.823) and releasing the archdemon Gygax the Corrupter. To combat the spreading darkness, Tolkien wrote six great elven tomes and called forth from them the Army of Lórien, and thus the phrase "elven sword" was changed to include the "awesome swords" which witnesses claim to have seen the Tolkienesque elves wielding.

At the end of the War of the Shadowrift when Tolkien was eventually defeated in late 1973, Gygax was able to steal the greatest of the elven tomes and warp the last of the Sindar to the dark side of the force. In 1974, Dungeons and Dragons was released to bend the remaining populace of earth to the will of Gygax. Unforeseen to the Corrupter, however, was the excess energy the elves began to collect as the populace of earth focused their latent psychic energy on the pointy-eared warriors, creating the Emerald Force. Empowered, the elves grew and began to incorporate aspects of reality to compensate for the instability of their new power. Swords from all over the world were absorbed by the Emerald Force, proceeding to f#*king cut it right open(!) and split the elves into Emerald Shards, capable of self-replicating and avoiding death by hiding in capt'n crunch. During this time, an "elven sword" was a device that could destroy an entire planet, such as the Death Star or a Leonard Nemoy music video.

During the late eighties, the Emerald Shards began to reach critical mass and war erupted between the elves. Humanity, unwilling to suffer their Capt'n Crunch becoming a battlefield sent forth messengers to the four corners of the globe and summoned the most powerful human wizards. Congregating in Seattle Washington, the wizards gathered their many magics and blasted the many elves and Gygax back in time two thousand years, thus creating the Emerald Paradox. The Wizards of the Coast formed a secret society to guard the future from the Emerald Force and proceeded to alter memories and texts to "create a history more suitable for humanity" (see WotC Conspiracy p.1262).

Due to the Emerald Paradox, elvenkind was given two thousand years to become everything in the entire universe (see Elves are Everything p.3). An "elven sword" thus became any sword that ever existed.

In 2009, Tolkien's ghost became annoyed at this stupid definition and possessed an errant Emerald Shard named Raelifin to change the meaning to "any sword used by a wussy-wuss" though many critics claim that definitions made in the future don't count (see Wussy-Wusses p.634).[/quote]

[SDragon]

[blockquote=Service Unavailable]Here I was, not even a week ago, debating on whether I wanted a Buster Sword or an Odachi as my first decorative sword. I had just settled on getting a cheaper option, a twin pair of "elven" swords, when I saw this.[/blockquote]
What the heck are 'Elven Swords'?

(and what is Raelifin's idea of an 'elven sword'??  I'm almost more interested in hearing that...)

[spoiler=Elven Swords]A twin pair of hiltless generic fantasy swords, with a blade profile just barely unique enough to avoid using "hiltless generic fantasy swords" as a marketing term.[/spoiler]

Edit- OK, so he did. Anyways, his definition is pretty much right on the mark, and it sounds alot cooler then mine. Take his definition, and realize that he probably has the most accurate view of history (and future history) that I have ever seen.