Dilandri: Discussion

[Stargate525]

For starters, I tend to agree with Jharviss about keeping only five races. Less is more where races are concerned, in my book. Especially if you're not planning on adapting your setting to 4e (which I would if it's a D&D setting).

Which two, then, should I cut? I've got the base seven, and since two of those are 'half' races, that leaves five.

Relations: Any particular reason humans think themselves superior to other races (that fact that you mention it makes me assume it goes beyond the expected levels of ethnocentrism)? Have they had some racial leader/religion that preached this and other races haven't?

It's basically Dria that's doing it. Think Pre-war Hitler-esque rhetoric stripped of the genocide and violence. Yeah

Lands: Is the whole human race part of the Drian Confederacy? Are there not as many human cultures on Dilandri as we find on Earth?

There are eight. humans are Europe, so there are differences, but not very large ones. Dria dominates all of them, both in land size and culturally.

Personal pet peeve: you describe gnomes being what gnomes "SHOULD be." Unless you're making them mythologically accurate earth elementals, I'd prefer not to be told what a race should be, only what it is.

Sorry, what I think they should be.

And secondly, it seems like any race where everyone is a Renaissance man would either redefine the standard of brilliance and conquer the world (or be enslaved by others to allow them to do so), or more likely collapse in on itself being unable to support that kind of lifestyle en mass. However, perhaps when I read them I will be convinced. I prepare for convincing now.

Shh... *force wave*
This isn't the realism your looking for...

I admit the idea of these clever toy makers appeals. There seems a contradiction in the way your write about earning a gnome's trust being difficult, and a few sentences later about making friends is easy (and that you mention friendliness specifically, a word which implies they are friendly towards those they meet). I see you're trying to clear it up with the sentence of acquaintances, but it all comes across a little muddled.

I've re-written the gnoes several times, and I've obviously missed references in every pass, so I've got a strange amixture of several re-writes. That will, of course, be fixed. I just DONT LIKE DOING IT. Small butt text boxes... the titles alone take up half the box with code.

Lands: Great description of the continent. I'd be interested to hear more about this (with a map!)

maps, maps, maps, that's all you care about, isn't it? :P

Magology. Cool.
Names: Well, bizarre naming rules makes them exotic, if that's what you're going for. But the sample names are simple enough that they don't become a burden on your players. So that's good.
Languages: Are these names derived from names of countries?

the languages are based on the name of the nation in which it began. Some of them no longer exist, so...

Halflings
:-p  we need a rofl smiley.

Ok. These are awesome. I have no real suggestions. I liked it all. And I don't really like halflings (unless you're Tolkien they feel out of place--actually for that reason this might make a nice completely original race).

Actually, I did think of one thing. If these are so militant, and the most populous race, why haven't they taken over the Drian Confederacy?

Because they're stuck fighting each other and the dwarves, and they like having cheap wheat brought to them; more time to fight.

And why do people always laugh at my halflings?

Where's the halfling quotation?

In my head, waiting to be typed and brought to the front of my consciousness (hopefully not in that order).

Elves

trill[/url]?

shh!

Now where did I put that Neuralyzer...?

Knot stories. Cool. Elaborate?

No. I refuse to build mechanics for storing complex stories into complex knots. If you want to, feel free. For now, the idea is all you get.

Unless you meant something else?

Lands: Is it an island or a continent? I'm confused based on earlier text.
Religion: Isn't the Five a human religion? Why would xenophobic elves even know much about it?

It's both. It's like Australia. And the elves know of the five becuase some of them are xenophillic. It's confusing, and mostly a remnant of my numerous re-writes. I've edited it.

When is Dilandri going on the wiki?

NEVAH! I despise wikis with the burning anger of a thousand suns...
In reality, when it gets closer to finished/polished, and with the all important MAPS.

[Jharviss]

The idea of a world's core races and player races are different things.  You have six races in your world: humans, dwarves, elves, gnomes, halflings, and orcs.  Orcs are not playable, but half-orcs and half-elves are.  Regardless, those are still unnatural races, even if they are treated as being full-fledged races.  I would cut the dwarves, which would drop you to humans, elves, gnomes, halflings, and orcs - five races.  That would therefore drop you to six playable "races," which includes the two intermixed races.

Make sense?

[Matt Larkin (author)]

Better yet, ditch the halflings and the give the halfling flavor to dwarves!

My review of dwarves and half-orcs got buried (post while you were typing).

I'll tackle the next section in a moment.

[Matt Larkin (author)]

Arcanist
Not too much info in this section, so I'll look more in magic when I get there.

Arcanists worship Mineva, God of magic, above all others. However, some do still hold to their racial god after their training.

Serona[/b]
Gorgeous pic. Did you take/make that? Is it public domain  :yumm: ?

And the map is...


I feel cheated.

Instead of primary race, second race, and tertiary races (which seems a little overkill), maybe you could just list races with % like:

Races: halfling (60%), dwarf (25%), human (10%), gnome (10%), other (5%)

Big, big trees. Sweet.

Despite this trade, the Dwarves and the Halflings have not always been peaceful neighbors.

To the East and North lies the ancestral land or the Half-elf.[/quote]Dragonlands[/b]
 :whoa:  :whoa:  :whoa: Where are you getting these pictures?

"Very little is known" only works if you don't make the race from there playable. Even then, I'd only use it if this is written solely for players, rather than for other designers to critique or other DMs to use.

Sunken Hills
I love archipelagos. Random question: do you have merfolk or other aquatic races?

Like orcs as pirates roaming the isles.

They are divided into hundreds, some clans with no more than a single ship and a sandbar island to their name.

Typo.


So I'll do so more later, or maybe tomorrow.

[Matt Larkin (author)]

Varthmik
This is a little confusing. Is Varthmik the island continent labeled "Gnome Lands" on the map?

Why 3 pics when everywhere else has one? I like the bridge most, though it kind of looks like something I'd expected to see in Britain.

Schizophrenic weather patterns, while an amusing choice of words, doesn't actually make sense. I know what you mean, but I'd only use that kind of phrase if your setting is supposed to be comical, rather than taken seriously (and it seems serious).

Interesting about the gnome countries working as a single country. Wouldn't it then make more sense for them to be a single kingdom with many states? Are they democracies, monarchies? I know from the racial page they are meritocratic, so how are governors chosen? Is it the same for all three? What are the names of these countries? Does gnomish standoffishness not apply to other gnomes at all?

and the Gnome Culture is in a constant zenith with the influx and collision of new ideas, arts, and sciences.

Dragth Gruht[/b]
Another pic I love.

Again, I wouldn't use the "little is known" motif. Don't the elves know something? How about the DM? Plus any place with that awesome a pic deserves some description.

Prestige Classes
These rock. Best PrC I've seen. It's like the invisible blade, only the whole class is invisible. And invincible.

Though if you plan on going 4e...


Arcanists
Er, didn't we already have an arcanists page?

break off and resume the

Windships[/b]
Cool. Do gnomes sell windships to others? Sounds like it'd be big business.

Lightning Harvesters? Reminds me of Stardust.

Heated gas ships...oooo zeppelins? Explosive?

[Stargate525]

If you go back to the first post, I've posted the rough line drawing of the entire planet. Be warned, it's friggin HUGE.

[Matt Larkin (author)]

If you go back to the first post, I've posted the rough line drawing of the entire planet. Be warned, it's friggin HUGE.

It helps. Seeing how everything fits together makes a big difference.

Religion
I saw some of this before, but I still like the 5 and 25 motif. I don't recall the gnome/halfling split story from before--that's sweet whether true or not.

I think the list of gods is pretty thorough, so not much to add really.

I was going to say Micas seemed out of place by his portfolio, but his back story makes sense.

It's a little confusing how a clergyman can be both a deacon and a bishop (I see how they can be either and a priest). Is that meant to imply they report to one bishop while other deacons report to them? Why is it set up that way?

I like the Music a lot, though I don't recall hearing about it much in your region or race write-ups. Is it most popular in certain nations?

Some of your spoilers misspell "deities."

If other religions spread from the Four Virtues, why the jump to 5 in so many other religions (5/25 and dragon saints). Or is the idea it's call four virtues, but it always counted the Divine Creator as one?

Wait, now I see this thing on the Fifths. Maybe they spawned the other religions?

Kudos on detailing the holy book. Maybe I should do that for texts in my setting...You've got me thinking.

[Matt Larkin (author)]

Continuing the review a bit.

Languages
Having language families is a good thing and relates your cultures. That said, I won't read about fictional languages 'cause it's not an area that interests me as much as it does some of the others (that could give you more advice on the subject anyway).

Commerce and Trade
Shouldn't this be worked into the page for each nation?

Transportation and Travel
You've already covered windships. What did you intend to put here?

Myths

I decided awhile ago that instead of having a generic timeline going back to the dawn of civilization, then trying to figure out how these people would actually know all of this, I'm going to play to my strengths and tell most of the world's history using myths and legends, with actual history making up the last thousand years or so. That, and I have essentially unlimited space to do it, haha!

Origin stories[/i]
I like your Book of Five excerpt. Suitably Biblical in language.

Will it ever matter which of these tales (if any) is true? Can you imagine running a campaign where ancient history played a real role?

Who were the Emerald Ones again? The orcs?

many starspins ago

starspins? Is that like many moons ago? Do your stars spin? Are they talking about the apparent celestial progress over the course of a year?

As I mentioned before, I like the gnome/halfling creation myth split.

I think the sin/creation myth of man works well. You missed capitalizing Lilnith in one place. :o

Sadly the Book of 5 version of elven creation is more interesting the elves own tale, which is very plain. This is good if you want elven storytelling to be limited and creative potential to seem less than that of humans. But if not, maybe you could spice it up a bit? Perhaps something about betrayal and so forth to explain the xenophobia?

On the other hand, the weather/elemental story is far more vibrant. It's interesting that you comment on the veracity of each story afterwards. Perhaps it might be even better to do this in-character (or was it supposed to be in the words of some historian/mythographer?)

So more later.