BANANAKRON: 2096

[Velox]

"No, we are not alone in the universe. Thousands have seen the alien spacecraft landing in fields and near cities all over the globe; As for the claims that the alien beings are in fact large gorillas, I can only say they are insubstantiated at best."
-General Joe Bigsby, U.S. Air Force, May 2095

"Today, July twenty-fourth, At seven-twenty-three PM, a nuclear weapon was detonated in New York City. No official statement has been made as to the group responsible, but already violent attacks against zoos, monkey-houses, and ape habitats have begun. If you have a pet primate yourself, you should seek safe shelter immediately and gaurd your ape."
-Radio Announcer, WKBBM Radio Cleveland, July 2095

"'Member when dey used to send monkeys inta space? Dang I wish dey sent dogs... or kitties. I don't think no giant kitty-cat woulda melted Mount Rushmore, or blew up New York; maybe dey woulda made us clean up a giant litter box or somethun... I hate cats. AAH! APE, 6 O'CLOCK! <BLAM>"
-Eustis Robert McGee, 2032-2095

Not quite Planet of the Apes, not quite Mars Attacks, but definately pulpy silly sci-fi nonsense.