Stuff Beejazz/Beebs Wrote

[beejazz]

I'm writing a little. A very very little. This first bit is just something we did in class. Teacher had us write descriptions of what was happening in photos... I figured it was busywork and decided to have some fun at the expense of the assignment. She said we were going to read these to the class, but that was weeks ago so I figure my only opportunity to share it is here online. Enough background... on to whatever this is.

The lights dimmed over the audience, while those on the stage brightened. The crowd hushed as a man with clean cut hair approached the podium under the banner reading "LOYAL CRATICANS." Others stood behind him and nodded along as he began his speech.

The candidate cleared his throat, and it echoed over the loudspeakers. "I'd like to start by saying thank you to all you out there that made this possible. To the blind piper in the courts of the demon sultan Azathoth. To the black goat Shub-Niggurath, of the thousand young. To the King in Yellow, who dwells on lake Hali, 'neath the black stars of dim Carcossa." The audience shifted in its seats, perhaps wondering what the candidate was going on about. "We are broadcasting today from the caverns of the Mi-Go. It would seem that you have forgotten us, but our memory is long." A ringing sound could be heard in the auditorium, at a pitch high enough that it was barely audible. "The waters beneath the world shall rise, and the burning stars of the sea beds will pierce the heavens." The roof flew off, and mighty gusts of wind howled in the auditorium. Fire of many colors filled the sky above, and the ringing amplified to the fevered pitch of sirens and alarm bells. Some members of the audience fled, while others were flung into the burning sky of Mississippi by the strong winds. "Henceforth, all shall know the way to spell the forbidden name of Mississippi! Verily, for it shall have four "i"s, two consecutive pairs of consecutive "s"s, and a final pair of consecutive "p"s. Our education system shall be impoverished, and our age of consent two years lower than the norm!"

A man in the audience shouted over the din, "Mr. Candidate, what will be your policy on immigration?"

The winds stopped howling, and the fires in the sky died down. The cacophony subsided. "What are you talkin' 'bout 'immigration?' Mississippi doesn't share any borders with any nation, and we can't very well stop traffic between states."













...and that's all I got.