[Forum Game] Crush My Wishes

[Kindling]

Granted. You are given a quarter... of the world's population. They depend on you to feed, clothe and house them, attend to any medical needs that may arise, protect them from harm, et cetera et cetera.

I wish it was saturday.

[Elemental_Elf]

Granted! However since Thursday and Friday were skipped you didn't get that thing I sent you, which means you'll never become a Thunder Cat Power Ranger He-Man Ninja Turtle :(

I wish my Spanish Homework was done!

[Kaptn'Lath]

Granted! Your Spanish homework is done eloquently in Mandarin.

I wish for a 4 star medieval adventure movie, released internationally, that doesn't rip off D&D or Tolkien.

[Elemental_Elf]

Granyed! However, the movie stars the 4 Baldwin Brothers as noble knights and Brittany Spears as the Princess. The movie is a world wide success, which catapults Spears back into the lime light thus beginning 30 years of Spearsmania!

I wish I had a floating wheel chair, like Xavier's from the X-Men cartoon show BUT wasn't crippled or anything similar to such a condition, either mentally or physically.

[sparkletwist]

Congraulations! You have one! It is floating above you! For one second! It falls on you. You might be crippled now.

I wish it was bright and sunny outside, but not so bright and sunny that horrible heat and radiation related things would happen to me (so think of something more creative. ;) )

[Kaptn'Lath]

Granted! Its one of the most beautiful days in memory for your location, a true treat remembered by all for years to come. Unfortunately in your eagerness to partake in the festivities you lock yourself in the basement (or small storage room) trying to get your outdoor gear/toys, slowly dieing of dehydration and a lack of internet access. Your passing is noted in nothing more than a "What happened to sparkletwist? Why doesn't he come to the CBG anymore?" By LordVreeg in the Tavern Chat Box, quickly to be eaten by a Wall of Text from Snargash and quickly forgotten. There... I put a lot of thought into it.

I Wish it rained Turtles everywhere.

[Steerpike]

Granted.  In a few days the entire global ecosystem gets fucked and you starve to death.

I wish A Dance With Dragons would come out already.

[sparkletwist]

It's out! Unfortunately, it's terrible. Critics widely regard it as the worst in the series and a complete disappointment.

I wish people would stop referring to me as "he" :P

[SDragon]

Granted. However, it's because you've turned into a hideous monster, and now everybody refers to you as "OMGWTFISTHATTHINGTHATSEATINGMYHEAD?!"

I wish I could get perfect grades without doing any work, and still learn everything I need to know for said grades.

[sparkletwist]

Granted! Unfortunately, it's because you've been demoted back to third grade.

I wish I didn't have to do laundry.

 

[Loch Belthadd]

Granted! However because you don't do laundry you quickly develop a stench of Biblical proportions, and an angry mob throws you into an incinerator to cleanse the world of your stench.

I wish I had my report for R.I. history was done.

[SDragon]

Granted. You're the only girl in a nudist colony full of obese men. At least you don't have to do laundry!

I wish I was the best FPS player in the world.

[Kindling]

Loch Belthadd: Granted. It's Done. Over. Along with all the rest of your work. And you. And your friends and family. And... well, everything. All Done. Over. The yarn of time has run out. The universe, perhaps even the multiverse, is Done.

SDragon: Granted. Whenever you play FPS you completely own all comers with little effort, however you have a compulsion to rub in every victory with off-colour remarks about people's maternal line of descent and constant use of terms such as "n00b" You become so obnoxious that you are eventually banned from every FPS server in the world, and can only exercise your unique skills in single-player mode, which is nowhere near challenging enough. Longing once again for the thrill of owning real people, and driven by a mixture of boredom and low-grade insanity, you purchase a gun and proceed down the high street exclaiming "BOOM HEAD SHOT" and "lol pwnt" as you off passersby. You are shortly shot dead by a police sniper.

I wish my mouth ulcer would heal.

[Nomadic]

Granted, it will also beg and speak on command as well.

I wish I wasn't so mental :P

[SDragon]

Granted. You now have no brain whatsoever.

I wish I didn't have to be killed for my boredom induced killing spree...