[Forum Game] Crush My Wishes

[Elemental_Elf]

Granted! However you can't hear it because Churroyianathulu, the God of Mini Churros, is giving a needlessly long winded speech listing off your various crimes and blasphemies prior to sacrificing you...

I wish I could become an Epic Level Paladin/Ranger with Favored Enemy (Mini Churros) and be sent on a holy quest to Churroyia, Realm of Churros, all in the hopes of saving Sir Loch Belthadd from his most horrible of fates.

[Loch Belthadd]

Granted! Now come save me.

I wish ED would save me already, and that I was an epic level blue mage

[SDragon]

Granted. Just before your sacrifice, Churroyianathulu discovers that you're, shall we say, "not properly functional" enough for sacrifice. He decides to make due with the "ceremony", and a year later you still can't sit properly.

I wish Loch didn't have to understand exactly how his wish was painfully corrupted.

[sparkletwist]

Granted! He goes insane and no longer understands anything about reality.

I wish people would stop making wishes about churros.

[Elemental_Elf]

Granted! However your wish cannot change reality as a whole, thus it chooses to morph your personal reality thusly every time some one says the word 'Churro' your mind reads it as 'Zucchini Seed.'

I wish I could form a fellowship of the Zucchini Seed, whose goal is to slay the ill tempered Zucchini Seedanathulu of DOOM!  

[sparkletwist]

Granted! You form one with that goal! However, it fails miserably at that goal. You all end up meeting miserable deaths torn apart from the inside by zucchini plants.

I wish my wishes would change reality as a whole. :P

[Loch Belthadd]

Granted! however reality as a whole doesn't like your wishes and destroys you with a mini black hole.

I wish I had telekinesis.

[Loch Belthadd]

Sparkie:Granted! He goes insane and no longer understands anything about reality.
What else is new? :weirdo:

[Nomadic]

Granted, however it randomly turns on and off. You are crushed when you attempt to life a truck over your head and your power fades.

I wish I had a chalupa

[Loch Belthadd]

Granted! However a rabid chalupa mons...*sounds of Loch being choked by Sparkletwist*...

I wish I had a built in clock.

[Elemental_Elf]

Granted! however, the digital clock display is located on your stomach and flashes '12:00 AM' like a broken VCR. Unfortunately, there is no known way of setting the clock.

I wish my philosophy teacher would teach by Comic book reference more often!

(He actually used the Leader, from the Hulk, as an exaple in class today!)

[Loch Belthadd]

Granted! but the only comics he ever references are obscure care bear comics and comics that bash dwarves and praise elves.

I wish I could play D&D right now.

[Elemental_Elf]

Granted! However an unknown space faring race appears in the skies of your campaign, unleashing a torrent of bio-weapons that kill off Elves. With in a week, all elves in the setting are dead, leaving only the Dwarves, and their Human and Halfling friends, to take over the Elf-free world!  

I wish I was as crafty as Xykon, from OoTS!

[Stargate525]

Granted. You're also just as dead, but not nearly as undead. Really, you're a skeleton. A clever skeleton, but a skeleton nonetheless.

I wish my car had an autopilot.

[Nomadic]

Granted, unfortunately it's a suicidal autopilot and it drives you off a cliff.

I wish I could cast greater wall of text as well as snarg