A Campaign starts first session, overview,inconsistencies, overall quality-CRITIQUE!

[Mason]

I got a random spark of inspiration last night, most likely from all the green tea and the fact that it was my day off. I proceeded to bang this out over the course of two hours. It is a rough outline of how I would like a first session to go of a new campaign I would like to run over the winter. Even if it does not turn into a full fledged campaign for my group, it is still a little different from the standard sessions I used to run. For one, it has a heavy asian theme to it, and for two it well..it assumes alot from the PCs. Read it, hate it , let me know if you guys think anything could be done better. Just the main outline is done as of now, none of the encounters or challenges have gone to the math part yet.

 The premise is the PCs live in a secluded village in the mountains, when their magical spring (which has restorative properties) is poisoned, the Elders ask the PCs to go find help. Most of the people in the village are sustained by this spring, and are counting on the PCs to help them.


[spoiler]
   [READ]
         For centuries the Goodhappen Spring has flowed  with restorative waters, the centerpiece of your village, a pile of rocks with a natural pooling of crystal clear water. Your village is nestled in old gently rolling hills, which as it is a backwoods place, quite removed from the rest of the world, you have always simply called the mountain. But back to the springs.
         Said to have once been blessed by a mysterious holy man, an Eladrin, (creature of the Fey) the spring at first brought many pilgrims and such to the location. There are hot baths built into the spring, and monks tend the garden around of your village with its waters- enormous fruits and vegetables. But the novelty of the place soon wore off, as the village is rather remote and difficult to reach, and the most curious aspect, once the water leaves the mountains, all of its magical qualities are lost. Even the vegetables that are bountiful in the garden rot and turn to mush once carried away.
        The village elder and his companions are staring at the pool of water. The once clear waters are now a bubbling mess of black ooze. The Elder looks very distraught. He explains that the waters of Goodhappen have been visited by a sabateur, and the only evidence left is a gaugy, golden earing. He asks if you would be willing to leave the mountain, and go to White Heron Abbey, south of the mountain, and ask the Priests what should be done. He says to speak to the Priest Izere the Spear. He was a friend of the Elders in his cleric days. To make matters worse , the Elder is now visibly aging, having been sustained by the waters for many years. He fears that he will not be able to hold out for much longer, and that many of the other council members have also been using the spring to prolong life.

   [READ]

 He lets the PCs take some stuff from his 'younger days'.

   [READ]


   [CACHE]
 -An ornate longsword with a one sided blade.(katana) A carved ivory hilt wrapped in black and red silk. The blade has a stylized sea turtle engraved on it. The sheath and belt are both simple except for a silver buckle. The sheath is made of bamboo and died black.
 
 - A shorter sword with the same black and red silk wrapping. The sheath is simple- made of bamboo dyed black.

 -A light oval shield, leather with blue-metal studs and the crest of (apparently Whitesun abbey) on it.

 -An iron helm with a faceguard, It has a a silver heron spreading its wings on the top. The faceguard looks like an oni. (demon)

 -A double edged shortsword. simply made, iron. A figure of two monkey in a circular formation. They appear to be fighting or dancing or both. The sheath is a black, iron-studded strip.

 -Three knives with wooden handles.

 -A pouch of caltrops.

 -100 silver pieces, un-marked.

 He also gives the PCs three days food. (not the stuff from the spring-gardens) but dried beef , nuts, etc.

   [CACHE]


   [READ]
The PCs must leave the village , the only road leading south. The Elder tells them they will have to cross a bridge, and then take the LEFT path after that. The right one goes to the coast, on to Ikvari port city. (not somewhere the PCs want to go)  Before you leave though, an elderly woman approaches you, you think her name might be Tild or Tide or somthing like that. Anyway she hands you a furled up scroll, and a small bag of coins. She asks you to take the scroll and coins to her nephew, Ziri in the village at the foot of the mountain. She is very nearly sobbing and can hardly speak, with that she leaves.

 The note-
    My dearest nephew, here is the money I have saved for nearly all of my life, I know we have never met, but your mother (my sister) brought you to my village as a small child, newborn really. Anyways, I hope you will take this money and with it buy your entrance into White Heron abbey. Grant this old widow her last wish, as the Goodhappen spring has finally succumbed to the (at this the note is splattered with ink, apparently the woman was so overcome with grief she could'nt even finish it)

    [READ]


[ENCOUNTER #1- The fallen Bridge]


[READ]

 You travel down out of the mountains, your ears popping the whole way, the trees once lush and beautiful give way to darker things, gnarled trees missing bark, piles of leaves rotting and wet. The path winds and curves and gets very narrow. Finally you reach the bridge. Or what was the Bridge. It has fallen, the stones foundation simply gave way, and now only a few remain on top of the surface. To make matters worse, the stream it had crossed is now a black ooze, gushing over the banks. You see a squirrel leap across, miss its mark and with a ~tssszzzzz~ disappear into the black ooze. The stream is about ten feet cross, but appears to be expanding slowly.

[READ]

  -Hazard  
      Black ooze

  -Creatures
      3x Defiled Fey creatures. (zombie like spriggan things , possibly gnomes? that hurl the ooze at the PCs)
      1x Controller type (or solo)


[READ]
   Once across the stream, the PCs find a dwelling fallen into disrepair. There they find treasure. And an old woman called Gallila the Crazy. She tells them more about the black ooze, and how it has begun effecting the creatures of the forest, turning them into insane creatures. (more crazy than even her)The bridge fell into the ooze, the very foundation sucked up by the terrible stuff. She explains that she saw two strangers from the south who brought the black-dragons blood to the mountain. She explains that black dragons have been extinct for centuries. They must tell the Priest Izere the Spear about this, and the urgency of the situation.

[ENCOUNTER #1]
 
 
[READ]

  Continuing down the mountain is an easy task, as there are no more black-ooze barriers to cross. But you see the evidence of the stuff all around you. Trees have withered. Bark stripped from there trunks. And slime-trails (probably from the abominations) cross the path occasionally. One , very thick and still sizzling leads off into a rocky outcropping. (possible mini-adventure, the PCs find a hidden tunnel leading to a martial arts-monks home, about ten of them living in a cave. It was breached by a dire bear (panda) affected by the black-ooze)  The PCs fight crazed monks, and the massive bear.

[CACHE-monks cave]
  -A silver harp
  -A silver gilded lantern
  -45 sp
  -2x wooden staves with leather cord binding
[CACHE]


    [READ]

  Small town at the foot of the mountain. Not very many people around. Those you meet hurry to run inside and lock their doors. (about 5 peasant types) In the center
of town is a younger, healthier looking boy than any of the other villagers, you note he has the same colored hair as the old woman who gave you the note and coins just before you left.

    [READ]

 The PCs could have a skill challenge here. Once they give the note and coins to the boy, he tosses the note aside (on the ground, hopefully the PCs will read it then)
and takes the coins with a "at least I can DRINK the good stuff tonight." The PCs (being the good people they are) might try to convince the boy to take up his Aunts last request.

    [SKILL CHALLENGE]

easy, appeal to the boy Ziri about going to White Heron Abbey and becoming a priest, (or at least a flute maker, the Abbey's other occupation)

    [SKILL CHALLENGE]


   [READ]

  White Heron Abbey, is a rather plain looking place. As you approach the Abbey, set among very large pine trees and thick hedges of bamboo, you notice some birds fluttering  and perching on and around some rather odd, (and very tall) rock formations behind the Abbey. You see some monks, shaven heads, bright orange robes, tending to the bamboo, and taking away loads of the stuff to a small forge tucked into the side of the Abbey. The shadow of afternoon covers you as..Actually its the enormous dragon looming over the Abbey.

  Ok. It's a stone dragon-mid strike, its eyes are admittedly curved viciously in horror, its apparent last look. The thing rises fifty feet about the stone and timber Abbey. A Priest carrying a very long jade spear greets you at the door, he says his name is Izear, and he hopes that ol' smoky did'nt scare you too much. You see he was transformed into stone by the Heron Orders founder, and on the site of their last battle the Abbey was constructed. That was about 250 years ago.

[READ]


 The PCs know the spring was poisoned by Black-dragon blood, or at least thats what crazy Gallila thinks happened. They still have the gaudy gold earing.
 Izear has in captivity two men from Ikvari, pirate types that are a strange bunch. One is very large, enormous in fact, and rather simple. The other is a short stocky character, with a sharp mind and a tongue to match. The Priests rounded them up after the larger one started screaming when he saw old smoky. They also found two empty flasks on their possesion, and a scroll with strange words on it. The priests are working to translate it from draconic or daemonic as they speak. (their not sure which language it is) The two sabateurs won't talk. The little one called Jack refuses to talk until he gets his favorite gold earing back, and the big guy, Jeck wants his 'polly'.


[/spoiler]


Thats all I have for now.

 A common assumption in this world is that dragons are extinct, killed off many centuries ago. Hopefully the adventures will bring about a re-birth of dragons, (or maybe they were just sleeping I don't know yet.) But hopefully this will add some shock-and-awe to the adventure when the PCs finally meet a dragon. Oh, and this is for 4th edition D&D. Probably going to restrict a couple classes and races. Again this was all spur of the moment. Please take a look and crit. thanks.

[Drizztrocks]

Sounds cool. I like how you have made the story. I gives the PCs freedom to flesh out their characters, but still keeps them pretty much on rails, but it doesn't FEEL like their on rails.